iCan't Pretend
by bipolarlove
Summary: Sam realizes she has feelings for Freddie but a twist of events changes everything. So she does what she does best ignore/avoid. Will she get past what happened? Or will she finally face the truth? Summary isn't great but give it a try!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Update: So I went back to the beginning and I was able to notice how much I have evolved as a writer and how much the story has grown. I had the urge to rewrite this first chapter because I am no longer happy with it and it's the first impression people get of this story. However, I decided not to because it's a reminder of the beginning to now. So I want to say thanks to all who have stuck by this story and to the new readers I encourage you to read on it gets better… I promise :)  
><strong>

**A/N: Okay, so this is my first fanfic. I got the idea for the plot from a dream. The first chapter is a little short but I hope you enjoy it. Chapter 2 will be up shortly.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly**

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><p>I can't pretend<br>I need to defend  
>some part of me from you<br>I know I've spent some time a-lying

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Thoughts of You<strong>

She had been having these thoughts for a while now. Thoughts about _him_. Unnatural, uncharacteristic thoughts, like how good he looked working a camera, how well he now filled out his damn polo shirts and even how hot he looked when she would piss him off. That last one was her favorite. She grinned at the various memories.

_Wait what?_ _I hate the nub, right?_ She questioned herself.

_I just like to torture him mercilessly for fun. Yeah that was it. It was just fun, _she reassured herself.

_No it's not you REALLY enjoy it._ "Okay shut up brain!"

_I cannot have feelings for him. I just can't! It's impossible!_ She desperately tried to convince herself.

"_Denial" is not just a river in Utah, ya know!_ She was doomed!

She lay on her bed staring up at the ceiling in a dreamlike state. A million thoughts raced through her head. She felt like a hundred pound cylinder block replaced her stomach and her heart did a few flips. It dawned on her and acceptance seeped into every pore of her body. Everything she knew began to take on new shapes with this newfound information. It was like looking through new eyes, like when you walk down the same path and suddenly notice a tree that has always been there yet you never noticed. Realizing its existence makes you see the path in a new light. There was no denying it anymore. What use did it do to lie to herself about it? _None whatsoever!_ Nope, sometime over the years she managed to develop feelings for her nerdy, dare she say, best friend.

"Uuuuugghh," she groaned.

How the hell did this happen? Someone up there must be having a hell of a laugh at my expense, she thought. She tried to wrap her head around the insane concept that she, Samantha Puckett, was in love with none other than Fredward Benson. She couldn't pinpoint when these feelings began to change from platonic to romantic, all she knew was that as of late they had reached an irrepressible level. Constantly threatening to betray her. It was like all her repressed feelings had decided to rebel and declare mutiny on her. _Stupid feelings!_

The idea wasn't completely in the realm of impossibility; after all they had been spending a lot more time together, more so when Carly began dating Steven. With Carly busy with Steven they had naturally gravitated towards each other. They hung out a lot, no longer needing Carly to be the person whom connected them. They were now best friends. _Hmm when did that happen?_ Over the last couple months they had also grown closer. They didn't talk much about personal family issues but they did manage to have real conversations and that was a major deal in itself. Unfortunately, Steven turned out to be a lying, cheating bastard and she figured they'd soon be back to being a trio. Not that she was complaining, she loved Carly and wouldn't mind having her around all the time but part of her wondered if her relationship with Freddie would continue on this new path or go back as well. She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed at that thought.

Recognizing her feelings for Freddie didn't mean things were going to change because let's face it Sam was still Sam and there was no way in hell she was going to put herself out there without some idea about how he felt or if he even felt anything at all. _I need to know_, she thought. The looming thought that Freddie was still pining away for Carly was not something she would or could ignore. She had noticed that he no longer threw himself at her at any given chance but it wasn't enough. She needed to be sure.

Sam decided to go about things in a clever way. Her mind began scheming ways to bait answers out of him without making herself vulnerable. Trying to come up with a plan was harder than Sam expected. It was too confusing. She felt transparent and every idea she came up with wasn't good enough. _Carly will see right through it or worse Freddie!_ Subtlety was key to making this work. She had to be subtle but Sam was anything but subtle. _Crap._ Her moves were gonna have to be carefully devised. Most of her early afternoon was spent laying, staring in deep thought, however it was not a waste she decided that there was no need for anything drastic. All she had to do was tone down the verbal and physical abuse and up the conversation levels. _It's perfect_, she mused and couldn't help but smile at her genius. She got up and left her bedroom, it was time to set her plan in motion.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So I decided to go ahead and post chapter 2, I guess you can say I'm overly enthusiastic. Reviews are more than welcomed, in fact I encourage you to review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly although I do wish I owned Sam and Freddie.  
><strong>

**Chapter 2: Rehearsing Interactions**

Sam walked into apartment 8-C her second home and found Spencer sitting on the couch.

"Hey kiddo," Spencer greeted never looking away from the television.

"Hey Spence, what you up to?" Sam asked while dropping her backpack onto an empty chair.

"Just watching Celebrities Underwater. Carly and Freddo are upstairs."

"Cool." Sam said heading up the stairs. She reached the second floor and walked into Carly's room not bothering to knock.

"Sup guys," she said walking in towards the couch.

"Sam!" Carly and Freddie abruptly said at the same time causing Sam to pause mid-step to face them. They both wore a "deer caught in the headlights" expression which piqued Sam's curiosity.

"Whoa, what's going on?" she asked twisting in their direction in slow motion, emphasizing her half rotation, and stopping once she was facing them.

"On? No-nothing is going o-on… Why would you ask that!" Carly squeaked in a panicky tone.

Their odd behavior began to really make Sam wonder just what the hell was up with them and why they looked on edge. Her patience was quickly turning to frustration. "Chill out. I'm only asking cause you both look like you just got caught skipping class by Ms. Briggs," Sam said while studying them with her eyes. Carly looked like she was about to crack from withholding information. She turned to look at Freddie and he looked… guilty. _Why is he looking at me like that?_ Beginning to feel aggravated and anxious by the level of secrecy their silence was causing, she snapped. "Well! Is anyone gonna fill me in on what the hell is going on or not!"

Freddie dropped his head and refused to meet her eyes while Carly looked like she was gonna be sick.

"Freddie and I had sex!" she blurted and quickly covered her face with her hands.

Complete shock racked Sam's body. _No way did I just hear that. _It took a second for her mind to comprehend what she just heard as she began to take in her surroundings.

_Freddie. _Unmade bed. _Carly._ Disheveled hair. _Had. _Guilt-ridden expressions. _Sex. _Emotional punch to the gut.

She stared at Freddie trying to read his expression, trying to understand why, trying to find some kind of sign that this was some kind of sick joke. But all she found was guilt. She tried to move, to say something but she was frozen in place, unable to even inhale a breath. _Do something!_ Her mind pleaded. She could feel her legs begin to shake. _Not here._ Her mind warned. She needed to get out now before she fell apart in front of them, in front of _him_. Somewhere deep inside she found the strength to quickly compose herself and turned expressionless, then managed to speak never breaking eye contact with Freddie.

"I'm gonna go." her voice void of any emotion and walked out the door.

As soon as she stepped out she could swear she heard a barely audible, "Sam wait" from Freddie but she kept walking as fast as her legs could carry her. She reached the living room and went straight out the door ignoring Spencer's, "Leaving so soon?"

The trip down to the lobby had never felt so endless. Once she reached the lobby she exited Bushwell Plaza and staggered out onto the sidewalk and let out a big breath. Sam was trying to breathe to keep from losing it right then and there. She kept moving never stopping. _Just keep walking._ She just needed to get as far away from everything as possible. A whirlwind of emotions began to crash into her...

Anger, pain, despair, disbelief, heartbreak, betrayal, jealousy, everything!

Sam was mad. No, not mad she was monumentally hurt which pissed her off! But she was mostly pissed at herself. _God how could I be so fucking stupid!_ It wasn't a question but a statement. Sam felt foolish for even considering that Freddie could be over Carly, and even worse to think that _she_ possibly stood a chance. Good things like that never happened to her, it just wasn't in the cards. Run was all she wanted to do, she wanted to just run away from everything especially her thoughts. They were unforgiving! She kept tormenting herself with her earlier optimistic thoughts and mentally laughing and pointing at herself for being a fucking idiot. That vodka bottle from her mom's secret stash was sounding pretty damn good right about now, but home was the last place she wanted to be.

Sam suddenly realized where she was, the park. She had no idea how she ended up at Kinnear Park she figured it must have been subconsciously. Kinnear Park was one of her favorite places when she needed to escape, it was far and big enough to get away from the city but close enough to walk to. Sam often went there whenever she had a fight with her mom, Carly or more recently when she needed to sort through her Freddie thoughts. It was no wonder she was here now. She walked around aimlessly trying to rationalize everything. _Maybe it's for the better._ She walked up to a bench and sat down concentrating on breathing in and out, desperately struggling to not break down in public. _Don't cry! Never cry! _She placed her elbows on her knees and let her head fall into her hands. _It's just so fucking unfair_ she said finally permitting herself to hurt. Sam didn't like to feel jealous of anyone, especially Carly but she couldn't help it, why did Freddie want her even after she rejected him time and time again? She knew she always teased him but their relationship had grown, right? Was that not enough? _Was I not enough?_ It wasn't easy being in the shadow of your perfect, kind, lovable best friend but this, this was different she had never felt this insignificant. Rationally, she had no right to be upset because Freddie didn't belong to her and Carly had no idea about her feelings, yet she was still upset. She couldn't help it. _Fuck logic!_ Since when was Sam rational? _Ugh, what a mess._ She felt pitiful.

She was busy wallowing in her misery when a voice unexpectedly tore through her reverie.

"Sam?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly.  
><strong>

**Chapter 3: Let It Rain**

Looking up she saw a tall figure with dark shaggy hair, broad shoulders, fair skin and piercing green eyes smiling down at her waiting for a reply.

"Jayden?" she asked surprised, realizing who he was.

"Hey!" he said cheerfully, taking a seat next to her and placing his skateboard on his lap. "Haven't seen you at the probation office in months, how have you been?"

"Yeah, I've been trying to stay out of trouble. How 'bout you?" She responded blandly, purposely ignoring his question.

Jayden studied her behavior before asking, "Everything alright?"

Sam was taken aback by this before giving a halfheartedly, "Yep, I'm alright." She realized that he didn't really buy it but he didn't push the matter further and for that she was grateful.

"Looks like rain." Jayden said pointing at the sky in an attempt to change the subject. He figured if she wanted to talk she would.

"That's Seattle for ya." Sensing his attempt to change the conversation Sam couldn't help but smile at him. "What about you?" she asked deciding to go along with the mindless chat.

Jayden took his eyes off the sky and turned to her confused. "About me, what?"

Sam couldn't help but laugh at his confusion and backwards wording before specifying, "Have you been staying out of trouble?"

"Oh!" he laughed. "Yeah, yeah no more parole officer for me."

"That's good." She said awkwardly, running out of things to say. Right then, it began to pour down on them, just as predicted. Sam and Jayden both shot up from their positions.

"Oh fucking great! Just what I needed to complete this shitty day!" Sam cried out in exasperation.

Acknowledging his instincts about Sam's mood had been right he decided to cut her a break, one that she obviously hadn't gotten today.

"I live just a block up from here. If you want you can hang out 'til the rain lets up or I can give you a lift when my sister gets home."

Sam considered her options. Walk home in the rain like the pathetic loser that she felt, or go to Jay's house. She might've been hurting but she wasn't gonna turn down shelter. It wasn't a difficult decision to make.

"Lead the way." she firmly said and the two took off.

As they ran through the park trying to dodge as much rain as possible, Sam couldn't help but feel a little relieved. Here she was running in the rain with someone she honestly liked and got along with - well under normal circumstances- and she couldn't help but smile every time he'd turn to look at her flashing his genuine smile or to warn her about a puddle. He looked funny with his hair wet and sticking to his face and scalp but wild at the same time. She didn't want to imagine how her long, blonde curls looked. They cut through the park and leaped over large, overgrown tree roots. She couldn't help but feel glad to have run into Jayden, today of all days. If the rain couldn't wash away her doubts and pain, perhaps he could.

They reached the house in approximately five minutes. It was a nice house, a lot nicer than the houses in her neighborhood. It was light and inviting. The entrance had two small, white, swinging doors and an archway. Bright green hedges lined the lawn much like a fence and flowers lined each side of the porch steps. They made their way to the door and Jayden let her in first then followed. Sam looked around and couldn't help but feel a bit envious at the comfortable living quarters this boy lived in. It made her question what triggered him to act out and end up in juvie. She knew why she acted out but if she had a home like this she couldn't imagine being how she was.

"Want me to take your shirt?"

"Wait, what!" Sam asked appalled, the question completely catching her off guard.

Jayden chuckled. "Your shirt and hoodie are wet. Do you want me to stick it in the dryer? I can lend you a shirt." He said holding up a towel and t-shirt.

"Oh… uh yeah." Sam said still a little stunned while taking the towel and shirt.

"Bathroom is down the hall to the left." Jayden said smirking at the still visible remnants of Sam's horrified expression.

Before going into the bathroom she glanced back at Jayden and noticed his smirk. She laughed internally and a smiled crept up before shutting the door. She looked into the mirror and realized she did look a mess. Her hair stuck to her face with water droplets hanging off the tips of her curls. Some of her mascara smudged giving her eyes a dark, messy smoky outline. Sam stared at her reflection and she couldn't help but feel a pang in her chest. Seeing herself, her own face reminded her of who she was. Her face carried reminders of the life she led and more recently that Freddie would never love her, that she wasn't good enough. Sam decided to push it aside and changed into the dry shirt, it was loose and clung off her small shoulders. She dried her hair as best she could, cleaned up the smeared mascara and hurried out. She walked back to the living room and saw Jayden waiting for her. She handed him her wet clothes and towel. He made his way to the laundry room and she stood there waiting. Looking around his house. It was a nice home. Looked cozy and lived in, everything a "home" should be.

"Want something to drink?" Jayden asked walking back from the laundry room.

"What do ya have?" Sam asked following him into the kitchen. She felt a little uncomfortable. She was used to doing what she wanted at Carly's and even at Freddie's, this was new. She took a seat on a black stool by the island counter and watched Jay reach into the fridge.

"Uh... I have Coke, OJ, water, beer and some red wine." He flashed her a grin at the mention of the wine.

"Wine? Seriously?" she said chuckling "What are you forty?"

"Hey! Don't diss the wine. It's easier to drink than hard liquor and quicker than beer without the excess need to piss constantly. Kinda perfect, eh?" he said proud of his reasoning.

"Guess you have a point. Fuck it, bring on the wine." Sam said throwing her hand in the air.

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><p><strong>AN: Okay so that was chapter 3 and some may wonder what's up with the Jayden character but don't worry this is a Seddie fic. **

**Read and Review.  
><strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not, have not, nor will I ever own iCarly.  
><strong>

**Chapter 4: Red, Red Wine**

Jayden was grabbing two wine glasses when he suddenly had a great idea. He placed the wine glasses back. He grabbed two regular drinking glasses and a small shot glass. Sam eyed him suspiciously.

"What's that for? Thought we were having your _fancy_ wine." she mocked with air quotes around the word fancy.

He looked at her with a devious grin. "We are but I have an idea."

Sam narrowed her eyes into slits. "What do ya have in mind?"

He looked directly at her, his expression turning serious. "I know somethin' is bothering you..." he held up his hand to stop her from interjecting "...and don't try to bullshit me." He put his hand down and flashed her a sly smile "So we're gonna play my newly invented version of Quarters. If I get the quarter in you take a drink and/or tell me one thing that is botherin' you." he said with finality.

Sam's face was of pure surprise. She felt transparent but it also felt nice to be around someone who noticed that something was wrong with her, or better yet that cared enough to want to know. She thought about it for a moment, talking was the last thing she wanted to do, however she was looking forward to drowning in alcohol, at least for today. Never being one to back down she took him up on his challenge.

"Fine, but let's make it more interesting. If either of us misses we also take a drink. I just hope you have a lotta wine... for your sake." she smirked. Sam sucked at Quarters so she might as well get loaded, she figured.

"You're on." Jayden said pouring a hefty amount of wine in each glass. He sat opposite Sam and went first, he bounced the quarter and it went right into the shot glass. "Yes!" he laughed loudly. "Start spillin'!"

"You wish." Sam took a gulp of wine.

"Spoil sport" Jayden teased.

Sam chuckled, "Those were your rules, dude. Not mine."

"True, alright your turn. Show me what you got, Puckett" he said handing her the quarter.

Sam's eyes flashed up to look at him, the sound of her last name struck her like a slap to the face, and she pictured Freddie. She shut her eyes and bounced the quarter, missing the glass and not caring. She took another gulp of wine. Jayden watched her, confused. He didn't want to let her sulk so he kept up the enthusiasm.

"You call that a shot?" he jeered laughing.

They continued playing, teasing and taunting each other. Sometimes Sam would make the shot other times she'd miss but she still wasn't talking. Jayden would also hit and miss and take his drinks. It went on for a while, until the alcohol began to cloud Sam's mind. She felt loose and warm and numb. It was exactly what she was seeking and although she hadn't forgotten she couldn't feel the pang of the hurt. The alcohol gave her a sense of false indifference. Just then Jayden shot his quarter.

"Drink up" he slightly slurred.

Sam sat still for a little bit before looking up at him with glassy eyes. She gave a deep sigh before slightly slurring, "My two bessstfri-friends had sexxx. I dunno why it bothers me but it does." She pouted. She was also aware she wasn't telling the whole truth.

Jayden stared at her trying to understand, "Well I guess that would be weird."

"Yah, no chizz." Sam said sarcastically.

Jayden was struggling to form full, coherent thoughts to say to Sam before she cut in.

"It's just we've been friends for so long, ya know? And sure the nub has been obsessed with her from the moment he saw her but she always turned him down and I always tortured him, it's how we worked, but now she didn't reject him and they went off and did _that_ so where does that leave me? I mean sure I guess if they wanna be together then I should be happy right? At least for them... ahh but it's so stupid! How could they be so stupid? Now things are gonna be weird and I'll be the third wheel... fuck! I don't wanna be around for that, know what I mean?" she was slightly out of breath by the time she finished her rant. It wasn't a complete lie, everything she said was true. She only omitted the fact that she was in love with Freddie.

Jayden just listened never able to get a word in and allowed her to get everything off her chest before adding, "You can't help how you feel."

Sam was taken aback wondering for a split second if she had accidentally mentioned having feelings for Freddie before Jayden elaborated.

"People say you should feel a certain way bout things but that's just shit people say. In reality if something hurts or pisses you off, you're gonna be hurt or pissed about it, regardless of what the proper feelings should be. So should you be happy for them? In theory yeah but does it fuck things up and make you feel left out? Yeah. So how the fuck are you suppose to be happy? And some see that as selfish but it's not like you're planning on ruining their lives so it's not selfish... it's worse to have people look down on you for fucking being honest about how you feel and demanding you don't feel that way.. Now that's selfish!" He finished slapping his hand on the counter to emphasize his point.

Sam just stared at him nodding. He made a valid point and made her feel less guilty for being pissed and hurt about the whole situation. She was impressed; the corners of her mouth began pulling up and suddenly broke out laughing. Jayden watched confused but her laugh was infectious and he too began laughing. Their laughing fit lasted until they could no longer breathe and tears welled in their eyes. Sam was holding her stomach. Minutes later they were able to finally tone it down to a giggle.

"Wow, you were so passionate there." Sam said still giggling.

"Yeah, well it's the truth." Jayden said with a smile still etched on his face.

"Sounds like personal experience." Sam noted.

"Isn't everything?" Jayden said in more of a statement than question. Sam just nodded and raised her eyebrows agreeing. The effects of the wine were no longer as prominent, having worn off after the serious rants and laughing fit.

"Spliff?" Jayden asked.

"Ehh, not really into smoking, plus the smell stays on my clothes." She said flatly.

"We can always make brownies." He said smiling.

Sam's eyes widened and she perked up. "Now that I am definitely into," she said grinning.

Jayden took out the Ghirardelli Triple Chocolate brownie mix, a bowl, two mixing spoons and the other ingredients.

"Yum, you got the good stuff." Sam added.

Jayden just smiled and nodded. "I'll be back, gotta get the _special_ ingredient." He ran out of the kitchen

The next 20 minutes were spent preparing the mix, occasionally throwing some batter at each other and playing around. They talked about old parole visits, best pranks ever pulled, and recent activities.

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><p><strong>One hour later...<strong>

Sam and Jayden were sitting on the couch watching a rerun of Girly Cow, waiting for the stove timer to go off. The wine effect had settled into a comfortable mellow buzz completely leaving them in a sluggish state. The door unlocked and Sam instantly turned to the door when a tall, slender girl with long wavy auburn hair walked in, she looked to be in her late teens/early twenties.

"Hey." the girl said stopping when she noticed Sam. She smiled awkwardly and said "Hi."

Sam returned the gesture and said, "Hey."

Jayden never took his eyes off the television. "Sam this is my sister, Ally. Ally this is Sam." He said in a bored tone.

"Nice manners, doofus. Well nice to meet ya, Sam. Jay I'll be upstairs, try not to wreck the house." She said as she walked away.

"Dude, we have special brownies baking, she's not gonna tell your parents or something? Sam asked a little worried.

"Nah, Ally doesn't care, sometimes she even hooks me up with some when I'm out. As for my parents they're out of town 'til Wednesday." He calmly said. Just then the timer went off. "Time for some brownies," Jayden said rubbing his hands together enthusiastically.

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><p><strong>AN: Alrighty, well that was chapter 4. I'm using Jayden as an outlet for Sam. Considering the fact that she can't exactly talk to Carly or Freddie or even Spencer, she needed someone else to talk to and what better than someone on the outside looking in, right? **

**So tell me what you think. Read & Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I still do not own iCarly.  
><strong>

**Chapter 5: Dazed and Confused**

"_Open Heart Surgery" by Brian Jonestown Massacre plays from the PearPod._

A couple brownies later, Sam laid on the floor of Jayden's bedroom with him next to her in the opposite direction, like a mirror reflection meeting at their heads. The room was dimmed with a disco ball reflecting specs of various colored lights. It was quite a sight. Sam stared at the ceiling in a trance with the dancing lights. Her body felt relaxed but her mind wouldn't turn off. The thoughts would suddenly appear in her mind but she couldn't focus on one for too long before it moved on to the next. She could barely focus enough to move. They both laid in silence enjoying the light spectacle and soft music coming from the PearPod dock from some corner of his bedroom. The words to the song were hitting home for Sam and made her think about love and relationships and how they just never worked out for her.

_I feel like letting you know  
>How much I love you today<br>I feel like letting it show,  
>Showing you rightly now<br>And never going away…_

"You know... most people see me like this package... what you see, is what you get type thing... they assume things about me... and I let them say and think what they want because I can care less... but they don't really know... they don't really _see_ me..." Sam spoke in a hazy tone like she was still figuring out what she was trying to say as she said it.

"Why don't you show them?" Jayden asked, genuinely interested.

"I can't... I don't know how to be anything but _this_... but... I... I... there's just too much." She sounded deflated, her voice cracking near the end.

"Try. Start with one thing." He gently encouraged, not wanting to burst the small breakthrough she was having.

_I know you're feeling real low  
>Calling on all my<br>I want to make it okay  
>I want to show you I know<br>And it will be all fine  
>I want to take it away<br>Take it away…_

"There's... well... love and relationships... I don't really have relationships and whatever small attempts I have made... well they turned out bad. People assume I don't care about those types of things... they assume I don't _love_... like I'm some kind of… emotional cripple. I feel things… I just don't always know how to express them. You know… I've listened to my mom tell stories about my dad, watched movies, heard songs, and even read books... and to be honest I really believe in love, no matter how fleeting or tragic I really, really believe in it and sometimes… I just want to surrender…" She sighed, her voice sounding small.

Jayden had never heard her speak in such a way before, he was stunned to hear such a confession. He didn't say anything he just gazed at her, his eyes permanently fixed on her face. She was so much more than met the eye. She could be tough and demanding but underneath all that she was fragile. He realized her life had been far from perfect but yet she still tried to remain strong, he admired that. Sam was beautiful not just physically but in so many ways.

_I thought I'd write you this song  
>Maybe I'd make you smile<br>And take your sadness away  
>I want to show you I love,<br>Love, love you a long time girl  
>I'm never going away…<em>

She could feel his eyes and turned to look at him. They stared at each other. _Wow, no one's ever looked at me like that before. _Sam felt flattered._ Should I kiss him?_ Sam began to move closer. _What about Freddie? Pfft what about him!_ Their eyes were in a perfect reflection considering they were lying opposite of each other. Honestly, Sam was feeling a little vulnerable and she secretly wanted to be wanted. She would've loved it if it was Freddie but you can't win them all. So she settled for this boy's affections, at least for the moment. She leaned towards him. Jayden didn't retreat, he stayed put, he silently decided he would be whatever she needed for today. Their lips met in a slow, drug induced, mentally clouded horizontal spider-man type kiss, barely parting her lips she felt his tongue lightly brush against her lips. The kiss grew heated and Sam pressed deeper into Jayden's mouth. She opened her mouth and allowed his tongue entrance, the brownies had heightened her senses and his tongue felt amazing, sending tingles down her body. _The boy can sure kiss. _They both began to slide up and around to get in a more comfortable position. She brought her hand up and tangled it into his shaggy, brown hair to pull him closer, a faint moan escaped her mouth, which only encouraged Jayden more. He snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her body against his. His touch felt like hot sparks against her skin, like the strike of a match. They were in a full blown make out session and Jayden slowly moved on top of her when Sam pulled away out of breath. Something didn't feel right. She fought through the fog her mind was currently under. Sam wasn't sure if she was doing this because she felt sad and vulnerable or as payback. _I can't do this, not like this. Jeez, when did I grow a conscience?_ She might be impulsive but she wasn't going to risk her friendship over reasons she wasn't quite sure of, she smiled at Jayden who was giving her a sleepy smile. Jayden didn't question her actions, it was almost as if he understood what she was going through, she made a mental note to ask him about that later. They turned back to stare at the dancing lights.

"Thank you." She said a few moments later. It conveyed a lot more, not thanking him for the kiss but for silently understanding and for the whole day, for being there and she hoped he felt what she meant.

"Anytime." He said, understanding exactly what she meant.

* * *

><p>"<em>High" by The Cure can be faintly heard.<em>

The next hour and a half were spent eating because Sam had a severe case of the munchies. The floor next to them was littered with a near empty pizza box, FatCake wrappers, Peppy Cola cans, and even some ribs. Sam was now leaning against Jayden's bed and he sat in front of her leaning against the dresser. Her tummy was full and satisfied. She stretched out and moaned in complete bliss.

"That was delicious!" she said rubbing her tummy and grinning.

Jayden couldn't help but chuckle at the way she looked. "Yeah it was."

"So I have a question." Sam said sitting up.

"What's that?"

"Well before, when we kissed and I stopped why… why didn't you—"

"Persist?" Jayden finished her question.

"Yeah. I mean not that I'm complaining. I'm just wondering."

Jayden chuckled. "You had a rough day, Sam and I know how those days can be. About three months ago my girlfriend broke up with me and I'm not gonna lie it fucking sucked. I was hurt and I dealt with it by getting fucked up and hooking up. I know it's not the same situation but a shitty day is a shitty day, it's all the same, right?"

"Guess you're right." She fell silent for a moment, "You do realize you're irritatingly understanding and laid back, right?"

He laughed. "Uh, thanks? I think. Nah it's just you know what am I gonna do? I just live and let live or maybe it's all the pot I smoke." They both laughed.

"I think it's the latter. Well either way it's a good quality." Sam felt exhausted and turned to look at the time it was 10:37pm. "Ahh, it's late. I should probably get home, plus I'm beat."

"Yeah, you had quite the day. Wine, special brownies, and a feast, who wouldn't be worn out." He teased. "Come on. I'll give you a ride home." He said standing up and offering her his hand to help her up.

Sam took his hand and got up. "Sounds good."

* * *

><p>"<em>Still Life" by The Horrors plays softly in the car.<em>

The ride home was spent in a comfortable silence, with the exception of the stereo and the occasional "turn right here" and "make a left there." They reached her house and she turned to him exhaustion painted on her face and she lazily smiled. "Thanks."

"Wait, um... today was fun. Most fun I've had in a while, maybe we can do it again?" he asked with a hint of uncertainty.

"No, yeah you're right we definitely should."

"Cool. We should exchange numbers." He said more confidently.

"Kay..." she padded her pockets and suddenly realized she didn't have her phone or her backpack. She had been so busy all day she didn't realize she didn't have it. "Crap!"

Jayden looked at her confused.

"I left my backpack at Carly's along with my phone." She explained.

"Oh..." Jayden wasn't sure if this was her way of turning him down.

"Here, I'll just give you mine and you can text me tomorrow." She said reassuringly.

"Alright, cool." He replied relieved.

She inserted her number into his contacts and handed back his phone. "Kay, well I'll talk to ya tomorrow." She told him.

"Yeah, I'll text ya. Bye." He smiled and turned the ignition bringing the car to life.

"Bye." Sam said stepping out of the car. She watched him leave then turned to her house. She was going to have to email Carly and ask her to bring her stuff tomorrow to school. _Tomorrow at school. _The realization of being forced to face Carly and Freddie dawned on her. She began walking towards her house. The reality of what she tried to out run quickly catching up and crashing hard into her with each step.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ok so this is probably my favorite chapter so far. I know someone suggested that Jay and Sam should have sex... I haven't decided if they should or shouldn't yet therefore found it a little too soon. I want to develop the relationship a little. I realize Sam is probably a little OOC but I like to explore her deeper layers.  
><strong>

**Oh and the songs I included aren't a requirement but feel free to listen to them on youtube. I added them in because I was listening to music at the time and they sorta inspired me.**

**As always read and review! :)  
><strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I wanted to update sooner but I'm currently out of town visiting friends and the friend I'm staying with didn't have internet until today. I will try and update as soon as possible. I also want to thank those who reviewed I really appreciate it. So for the short delay here is a pretty long chapter, long compared to the rest.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own iCarly.  
><strong>

**Chapter 6: Pretend to Restore**

Sam walked through the double doors into the school hallway heading towards her locker. _I wonder if Carly's here yet._ Just then she came to a halt and saw Freddie standing by her locker. He looked like he was waiting for someone when he turned and saw Sam. He looked at her with sad, guilty eyes. _Why is he looking at me like that?_

"Hey…" He said testing the waters.

She raised her eyebrows at him and gave him her most indifferent, casual "What's up?"

He eyed her, carefully studying her face, looking for some kind of sign when he decided to just go for it. "We need to talk... about… well about yesterday. I want to… I think that I should, it just seems like… I just need to explain what happened." He stumbled over his words.

She stared at him for a second, her mind working fast to process his words. "Don't worry 'bout it, it's not my business." She nonchalantly threw out waving her hand in the air.

"Yes there is, Sam and you know it. Look I could tell that it hur-" He was cut off by Sam.

"You could tell that it what, huh!" she narrowed her eyes and stepped closer threateningly.

Freddie refused to back down but chose to reword his statement. "I could tell that it affected you."

Sam let out a sarcastic laugh. "Please, what you do or don't do has no effect on me whatsoever."

"Sam you walked out." He said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, no chizz. I didn't want to interrupt your glorious moment." She couldn't help but roll her eyes at the end.

"Then explain why you didn't reply to any of my texts?" He questioned crossing his arms over his chest.

She stared at his stance and let out a small laugh.

"Hey, guys" Carly greeted from behind Sam. "Oh here's your stuff, Sam."

Sam watched Freddie's expression falter and turned to Carly. "Thanks Carls, for bringing my backpack and _phone._" She emphasized the word 'phone' and smirked triumphantly. "Well I'll catch you guys later." Sam said walking away.

* * *

><p>"Where is she going?" Carly asked Freddie.<p>

"I don't know... I never know when it comes to Sam." Freddie sighed out his frustration.

Carly looked at him, "Is everything OK? I mean I don't want it to get weird, we said no weirdness remember?" She said with concerned eyes.

Freddie softened, "Yeah, don't worry everything is fine between you and I but there's Sam to deal with." He said pointing in the direction that Sam had walked.

"She appeared fine just now but maybe I should talk to her." Carly stated oblivious to what Freddie was truly referring to.

"No. I'll talk to her," Freddie noticed Carly give him an odd, quizzical look, "Come on let's get to class." he said quickly.

* * *

><p>Sam sat in her usual seat, she noticed Freddie and Carly walk in from the corner of her eye but chose to pretend to be preoccupied with something on her desk.<p>

Freddie took his usual seat next to hers and Carly sat in front of him. Carly looked like she was going to say something when their bitter, miserable English teacher, Mr. Kurtz entered the classroom. Sam avoided making eye contact with Freddie and kept her eyes forward. Mr. Kurtz began his lecture and Sam didn't know how much longer she could pretend to pay attention. She then remembered Freddie had mentioned not receiving replies to his texts and decided to check her phone. She reached into her backpack and pulled out her PearPhone, _11 unread texts, jeez._ She scrolled to the last one to work her way up.

**Freddie: Sam...**

**Freddie: I need to talk to you.**

**Freddie: Stop ignoring me, Sam.**

**Freddie: Look I know you're shocked but please reply.**

**Freddie: You're seriously not gonna text me back?**

**Carly: Sam, where r u?**

**Freddie: Fine! Typical!**

**22266: To renew your subscription to "Bacons of the World" please reply with the word 'bacon'**

**Freddie: Urgh! Sam stop being so stubborn!**

**Carly: I'll talk to you tomorrow after iCarly rehearsal, kay?**

**Freddie: I give up.**

Sam stared at her phone trying to understand just why the hell he needed to talk to _her_ so eagerly. A few stray thoughts crossed her mind that perhaps he cared but she quickly pushed them away not wanting a repeat of yesterday. Sam also made sure to text the word 'bacon' there was no way she could endure two tragedies in the same week. She was lost in her thoughts when her phone suddenly vibrated.

**Freddie: So I see you had a legit reason for not texting me back yesterday but I still need to talk to you.**

Sam rolled her eyes and turned to look at him, her irritation at his persistence obvious. Freddie pointed at her phone as sign for her to reply. She rolled her eyes again before turning to her phone.

**Sam: What is so damn important that you need to harass me?**

**Freddie: I told you I want to talk to you about yesterday.**

**Sam: I don't care about what you did! I mean dljakfdj how disturbing!**

**Freddie: Seriously? So you just don't care? You don't even wanna know why?**

**Sam: I don't see why it even concerns me.**

**Freddie: Fine, Sam go ahead and pretend like nothing matters to you.**

Sam was thrown for a loop at Freddie's last text. _What the hell is that suppose to mean? Who does he think he is? I'm the one that should be upset!_ She could feel anger begin to rise and tried to stay aloof. She couldn't let him win.

**Sam: Who's pretending?**

With that, she put her phone away and began doodling on the edge of her textbook. From the corner of her eye she could see Freddie's expression of disbelief after reading her text and tried to keep from smirking. _Too easy._

The rest of class was awful. She couldn't bear to listen to Mr. Kurtz any longer but she was afraid to turn her head and face Freddie or Carly. Having Freddie so close to her was driving her insane, all she kept seeing was Freddie and Carly in her room. The image of the two standing side by side after having done what they _did _burned into her memory. _Wait a minute, they aren't acting lovey dovey. They're acting completely normal_, Sam thought. Something wasn't right, she could feel it. She knew Carly well enough to know that she would be the type to show affection after experiencing… well what she experienced. She also knew that Freddie was too much of a gentleman to be the type of guy to 'hit it and quit it.' _Something isn't right, I'm missing something._ The bell rang and Sam gathered her books into her backpack, "Later," she rushed and walked out the door. Taking long strides she headed to the girl's restroom, she needed to think, she needed to take a breather away from Carly and Freddie. Sam walked into the restroom and immediately made a b line for the last stall. She sat down and dropped her head in her hands. _Today is the longest day ever! I should just talk to him… agh but it won't make a difference. What's done is done… how am I suppose to just forget about this? About him? I can't let this ruin my friendships, they're more important than this, aren't they?_ Her internal monologue was at full speed when out of nowhere she heard Carly.

"Sam?" Carly called out. "Sam I know you're in here…" Carly began tapping her foot, "Sam I saw you walk in here!"

"Yeah," Sam said opening the stall door.

"What are you doing hiding out in the restroom?" Carly asked leaning against the sink facing Sam's stall.

Sam raised her eyebrows and shrugged, "What do you think?"

"It's weird isn't it?" Carly sighed.

"Ya think?" Sam sarcastically said looking up at Carly.

"So… what are you thinking? I know you must have like a ton of questions."

Sam sighed not bothering to keep up the façade, "I just do—"

"Oh my gosh did you see how Tyler was looking at you?" a group of freshman girls walked into the restroom interrupting Sam and Carly's conversation. Sam and Carly looked at each other silently agreeing to continue this conversation elsewhere. Sam stepped out of the stall and she and Carly exited the restroom leaving the freshman girls free to gossip.

The rest of the day was spent much like first period. Sam kept to herself. Freddie would glance at her but figured it was best to leave her be for now. Carly buried herself in class work as a coping mechanism. The thought of having to deal with iCarly rehearsal felt like a big, dark cloud was hovering over her. The last thing she felt like doing was rehearsing; she looked up at the clock, _20 more minutes till freedom, _just then she felt her phone vibrate.

**Jayden: Sup, how's it going?**

She read the text and felt a smile tug at the corners of her mouth, _finally some distraction_, she thought. She began typing a message back.

**Sam: Counting the minutes till I'm out of here! U?**

**Jayden: Ah! Well I got something to make the wait bearable.**

Sam read the text in confusion, _huh?_ She was about to ask what he meant when another text came in, this time it was a picture message. She opened and let out a small gasp and chuckle at the sight of a Berry Blast smoothie, which caught Freddie's attention.

**Sam: Hahaha, asshole! I want a smoothie :(**

She noticed Freddie turn to look at her and their eyes met briefly before she raised her eyebrows at him, as if saying 'Can I help you?' Freddie narrowed his eyes at her and turned away. Before she knew it the bell rang and school was over.

"Is rehearsal still on?" Freddie asked looking at both Carly and Sam. Sam was too busy on her phone to pay attention which irritated him.

"Uh, yeah, of course it is." Carly said looking to Sam for confirmation.

"Can you get off your phone for a second?" Freddie said his irritation obvious in his tone.

Sam finally looked up, "What?"

"Are we still having rehearsal today?" Freddie clarified.

"Why wouldn't we?"

Carly was about to say something but Freddie beat her to it, "Well maybe because you're too busy to get off your phone to even pay attention to us."

"Keep your hair on, will ya?" Sam said blowing off Freddie's remark.

"Alright, well let's go!" Carly clapped her hands together a little too enthusiastically, trying to keep the peace.

The three were walking down the steps in front of the school, Sam was on her phone, Carly was chatting about possible skits for the show, and Freddie kept wondering just who the hell Sam was talking to.

**Jayden: No way! A whole ham in less than 15 minutes? That I gotta see.**

**Sam: Yes way, I dunno why you're so surprised you saw me devour those ribs last night. Get me a honey glazed ham and I'll show ya ;P**

**Jayden: Haha, yea that was pretty impressive. I think you just want me to get you a ham, I gotta admit tho it just might be worth it, but for now look up.**

"Look up?" Sam asked out loud as she looked around.

"What?" Carly and Freddie asked at the same time.

"Oh shit!" Sam exclaimed walking towards Jayden who was standing by a light post waving a smoothie, Freddie and Carly followed.

"Surprise" Jayden smiled and greeted Sam handing her a smoothie.

She grabbed it and flashed a grin at him, "Thanks! So what are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood and you said you wanted a smoothie so I figured why not?" he smiled and looked up noticing Carly and Freddie. Sam suddenly remembered her manners.

"Oh Jay, this is Carly and Freddie. Carly, Freddie this is Jayden… Jay whatever," she said gesturing them to each other and slurping on her smoothie.

"Nice to meet you Jay…den?" Carly eyed him unsure of what to call him.

Jay chuckled, "Jay is fine, nice to meet ya too." He turned to Freddie, "I take it you're Freddie then?" and extended his hand. Freddie plainly shook his it and nodded. All four teens stood there until Carly spoke up.

"Well we should probably get going."

Sam snapped out of her fruity trance and quickly realized what Carly meant. "Oh that's right we have rehearsal," she looked at Jay and shrugged, "duty calls."

"Oh right, I have to run some errands for my sis, but uh do you guys want a lift?" Jay offered.

"Yeeeah we do!" Sam said as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. All four headed off to Jay's car.

"Yay." Freddie said dryly to himself.

* * *

><p>"<em>The Passenger" by Iggy Pop can be heard from the car stereo.<em>

Jay pulled up into Bushwell Plaza's parking lot. "This car is sweeeeet!" Sam complimented.

"Thanks, it used to be my dad's when I turned 18 a few months ago he gave it to me. I gotta say I was pretty fucking psyched!" Jay said. He drove a starlight black 1970 Pontiac GTO with two red stripes down the hood.

"Must be great for the environment." Freddie added, his words dripping with sarcasm. Sam shot him a glare. Jay shrugged off the comment. Carly, Freddie, and Sam proceeded to get out of the car.

"Thanks, Jay." Carly politely waved and walked off towards the lobby. Freddie nodded his thanks and followed Carly.

Sam went around to the driver's side, "I'll be up in a minute," she called out before turning back to Jay, "Dude, thanks for the smoothie and ride."

"Eh, no problem. So how did today go?"

Sam looked at him hesitantly, she sighed. "It was fine I guess. Carly and I sorta talked about it, but I dunno…" she looked away then back at him, "I'll text ya, I have to get going."

"Alright then," Jayden began pulling away while Sam walked towards the building's entrance.

She walked in and was instantly accosted by Freddie. "Seriously Benson? You're now reaching creepy levels, creepy even for you." Sam headed to the elevator and pushed the button.

"Just listen to what I have to say and I'll stop pestering you." The elevator doors opened and Freddie stepped in after Sam.

Sam groaned, "You have two minutes."

Freddie wasn't expecting her to give in so quickly and even less to have her set a time limit, he was abruptly at a loss for words.

"Time's ticking." Sam tapped her nonexistent wrist watch.

"Uh… well now I feel pressured!" Freddie whined and Sam shrugged at him, "Okay, okay. Look… I don't know why I feel the _need_ to give you an explanation but I just do. I like to think that we're actually close friends and in the last few months… well we hung out a lot and I just don't want to lose that, and I can't… I mean I just… I feel guilty!" he stammered.

Sam softened a little. "Guilty? What for?"

"I don't know… I just do." Freddie deflated.

Sam wasn't prepared to feel a pang in her chest but seeing Freddie look so defeated crushed her. "Dude… you don't have to feel guilty, we're still friends. I'm sure I'll get over it by next week." She lied. "I mean hey you finally got your dream girl, ya know? I'm surprised you're not being all nubby and happy." She gave him a sad smile.

"I didn't get anything. Carly and I aren't dating."

"What! Then what the hell? You're just screwing buds?" Sam cried out in disbelief.

"NO! It was just a… mistake, I guess."

"I'm confused. If you two aren't dating or screwing then what the hell are you doing?" She asked curiously.

"Nothing. We aren't doing anything…" he said glumly.

Sam caught his tone, "But you want to?"

"No, I… see that's just it, I should've been glad but I'm not… all I know is that yesterday was undoubtedly a mistake."

"Why? How do you know?" She pried.

"I just do." He gazed at her with intense, deep, thoughtful yet slightly sad eyes.

The intense look bewildered Sam and the lack of information frustrated her. She noticed Freddie was about to say something and fear unexpectedly shot up her spine. His gaze conveyed something heavy and fearing the worst Sam wasn't sure she was ready to hear it. Freddie opened his mouth and Sam quickly said, "Times up, Freddork." The elevator doors opened and she walked out, leaving Freddie behind.

* * *

><p><strong>Read and Review!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.  
><strong>

**Chapter 7: Revelations**

Freddie lay in bed staring at the ceiling, things did not become clearer after his talk with Sam. The show's rehearsal went pretty well despite the tension but he couldn't help but feel confused. Throughout rehearsal he kept looking at Sam as if he was trying to see something that he had never seen before. However, the talk with Sam in the elevator did manage to serve as some kind of epiphany. He kept hearing Sam's voice asking him "_How do you know?_" He just did, just like that, it was that simple. _When did that happen?_ He knew his infatuation with Carly had faded but he assumed he still wanted her. _Was it mostly habit?_ He wondered. _Now that I think about it, I haven't thought about her like that in years, _he told himself. There was a reason why Freddie was adamant about talking to Sam, about giving her an explanation. There was a reason why he felt guilty. He couldn't erase the look she wore when Carly blurted out that they had sex. _Does she care? She says she doesn't but Sam always says she doesn't care, right?_ Prior to today he could have sworn that the information had hurt Sam, he was practically sure of it but she was so good at putting up a front that he was no longer sure. He wasn't sure if maybe he imagined it because frankly a part of him wanted her to care, by no means did he ever want to hurt her, but for some reason it hurt him to think she didn't care. Then there was this Jayden guy, where the hell did he come from anyway?

_Why does he bother me?_ _And who does he think he is showing up with a smoothie like he's some, some awesome smoothie bringing guy,_ he lamely thought.

_You're jealous!_ "No, I'm not!"

_Yes, you are! _"Ok enough back talking brain!"

_So what does that mean?_ He asked himself.

_What do you think it means, dork?_ Wow that sounded a lot like Sam.

He turned on his belly and buried his face in his pillow.

"Aaagghhhh!" He yelled into his pillow.

Freddie and Sam always had an odd friendship. He knew that, he actually was proud of that fact. Sure they teased and tortured each other, claimed they hated each other but they also shared their first kiss, spent hours talking and playing without ever getting bored, it was almost like fighting was their way of flirting. _That's not a normal friendship, that's an interesting relationship_._ Wait, relationship? Did I just say relationship?_ Truth is he knew what it meant he was just too scared to admit it. _I care about Sam, _he slowly revealed to himself._ I really, really care about Sam_. He turned to face up again, this was going to be a long night. How was he supposed to sleep now? How was he going to fix this? Freddie felt his stress and anxiety levels rise. _I have feelings for Sam and slept with her best friend!_ He was in deep shit.

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile at the Shays' apartment…<strong>

After rehearsal Sam wanted to get the hell out of there fast but she knew she and Carly had a pending conversation. She wanted to get it out of the way sooner but didn't know how to bring it up so she waited around until Carly brought it up. Both girls must've had the same idea because it wasn't until late at night that Carly brought it up again.

"Hold up. So let me get this straight. You don't want to date the diphead and you don't have feelings for him either, right?" Sam asked Carly. The two girls were sitting on the couch having a late night snack.

"Right." Carly replied.

Sam was puzzled, she furrowed her brows. "Then I don't understand why you'd give it up to the nub." _Wait, I know! Because you're both morons! _She cynically thought.

"Give it up?" Carly asked confused.

"Yeah, you know… let him…" _Let him fuck you! _

She thought of how to put it in Carly terms, "Let him _'deflower'_ you or whatever."

Carly's eyes grew large then she quickly turned away from Sam who caught the look. "Wait… he _did_, I mean _he_ is your _first_ right?" Carly kept her head down refusing to answer or look at Sam. "Oh my fucking god! He's not, is he? !"

"Shhh! Keep it down!" Carly whispered harshly.

"When? Who? Why didn't you tell me? !" Sam's questions spilled out of her mouth.

Carly looked at Sam and raised her eyebrows, "Who do you think?" she said flatly.

"Steven?" Sam asked shocked.

Carly sighed. "Yeah, him. It was before he left to LA and before I found out he was _cheating_ on me." She said through gritted teeth. "I didn't tell you because well I was embarrassed and hurt. I feel like an idiot, Sam. I thought he loved me and look at me now… I'm a, a, I'm a slut!" She squealed.

Sam was beginning to understand why Carly did it, she was piecing together the facts, but that didn't explain why Freddie would just be okay with it regardless if he was a teenage boy. She couldn't help but feel bad for her friend and angry at that dickhead of an ex-boyfriend of hers. "You're not a slut, Carly." She sympathized.

"Well I feel like one! I've just been so depressed, I feel stupid and when Freddie showed up he was being so nice, he consoled me, and I just… he made me feel loved and I wanted to just be wanted I guess… He's always said he had feelings for me so I don't know, I guess I wanted to feel that love… I know it's wrong and I know it shouldn't have happened! I feel terrible!" Carly had tears rolling down her cheeks.

Sam was silent, she just scooted closer and held Carly. She understood where Carly was coming from, she had taken comfort in Jayden. Although, she understood how Carly felt she couldn't help but feel angry that Carly would use Freddie like that. _Freddie is so stupid! How could he not tell she was just vulnerable? And where does Carly get off doing something like that? _She wanted to slap both her friends, but for the time being Carly needed a friend and she was going to be just that. _Hmm guess Jay's already rubbing off on me._ She'll have to deal with the rest later.

* * *

><p>Sam woke up on the living room couch, she recalled the lame excuse she gave Carly for not wanting to sleep in her room. As silly as it sounded she wasn't ready to face the scene of the crime yet. She lay on her side not looking at any specific object but more like looking through it. The events of days past replayed in her head, the newfound information took weird, fucked up shapes, and her feelings for Freddie beat down on her with great force. She felt an aching, hollow, pressure in her chest and hugged herself tighter in hopes of making the pain disappear. Unfortunately, there was no making this pain disappear, her heart ached for her best friend who wanted her other best friend, and for that there was no cure. She let out a long, shaky sigh. She closed her eyes. <em>What do I do? I can't keep pretending anymore. <em>They had to film iCarly that day and she wasn't sure she was up for it. _Ugh! Damn these responsibilities!_ Sam extended her limbs and let out a loud yawn. _Screw it! It's not like anybody has ever died from heartbreak. I can deal with this and much more!_ She was mostly trying to convince herself than anything. Being the stubborn mule that she was, she decided to keep up the "_I don't give a fuck"_ charade for as long as she could. She got up and headed to the restroom to get started for the day.

She walked down the stairs and saw Spencer in the kitchen, he looked up at her and greeted her. "G'morning, Sammy Sosa!"

"Morning." she responded dully as she took a seat on the stool.

Spencer looked towards her, "What's botherin' ya kid?"

"Nothing, just tired."

"Hmm, would some eggs and bacon _untire_ you?" Spencer nudged her playfully.

Sam gave a lopsided half smile to her pseudo-brother, "Add some ham steak to that list and I'll be set."

"You got it!" Spencer ruffled her hair and got to work on breakfast.

Sam turned to the computer and started browsing, she wore a tired, bored expression that caught Spencer's attention. Normally, she was bouncing off the walls, handing out witty remarks and punishments.

"So... what gives? Did you and Carly get in a fight?" Spencer asked out of nowhere.

"Huh? No, we're not fighting. Why would you ask that?"

"Because you slept on the couch." He said matter of factly.

"Oh, um yeah it was too hot in Carly's room."

Spencer gave her a quizzical look, "We have the AC set to a comfortable 75 degrees."

"I don't know what to tell ya, it was hot." She shrugged.

Spencer figured she wasn't going to reveal anything without some coaxing. He knew in order to get Sam to open up you had to make her comfortable and inspire trust by revealing something first. He was thinking of what to say when Sam spoke first.

"Spencer are you happy?"

The random question caught him off guard, "Um…" he thought about it for a second, "Yeah, I'm pretty happy."

"Why'd you hesitate?" She asked studying him like she was trying to read his mind.

"Well you just caught me a little off guard there. Why do you ask though?"

"I don't know just wondering. Isn't happiness subjective? So how does one really know? And if someone isn't then how do you know when to move on?" Her eyes were almost pleading.

Spencer noticed the hunger in her eyes. She really needed to know these answers and wondered where exactly she was going with this. He figured this was one of those times he needed to be serious. "Well it is subjective and I guess only you can answer when you're happy. But I think that being happy isn't necessarily the goal because happiness is a fleeting emotion… it's just momentary and applies to the moment or situation. I guess it's just worth it to know or better yet feel it and enjoy it."

Sam nodded understanding. "But what if you're not?" she hesitated a beat, "When do you move on?"

It was now Spencer's turn to study her, "What is making you wonder about this, Sam?"

"I dunno, Spence. I feel like I need space." She sighed.

"Hmm space, huh. Well that's understandable, but from what?"

"Well… have you ever felt like things were changing too quickly that you couldn't wrap your head around it?"

"How do you mean?" He was curious where she was going with this.

"Like something happens that changes everything and you start to feel like you'll never get over it." She looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"Change is inevitable. Sometimes we don't want it and are forced into it but change happens no matter what." He stopped and noticed Sam's face fall. "But you'll get over it, everything always heals, all it takes is time and space." He gave her a warm smile.

_Space_ that's exactly what she figured she needed.

"Good morning!" Carly cheerfully greeted as she walked into the living room.

Both Sam and Spencer turned towards Carly. "Morning little sister, you're just in time for my awesome breakfast!" Spencer said while beating some eggs in a bowl.

"Smells great!" Carly sat on the stool next to Sam. Sam had her head on the counter, "What's wrong?" Carly asked.

"I'm tiiiiiired," Sam whined.

"See that's what you get for insisting on sleeping on the couch." Carly retorted.

"Whatever. Hey do you think we can do iCarly early today?"

"Why? Do you have something else to do? Or could it be you want to _see _someone?" Carly teased.

"Ah yes, you caught me. I'm planning on sneaking off with my boyfriend." Sam said turning to Carly with a fake dreamy look.

"You have a boyfriend? !" Sam and Carly turned to notice a shocked Freddie standing in the middle of the living room.

"Is it that surprising?" Sam scowled not bothering to clarify that she didn't have a boyfriend.

"No, but it seems a little sudden wouldn't you say?" They were in the middle of a mini stare down.

"Sudden how?" Sam spat out.

"Well…like how Carly and I don't know anything about him."

Sam sneered, "Oh gee sorry _dad_! I didn't realize I needed _your_ permission!"

"Freddie why are you so concerned? If I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous." Carly added unaware of the implications that statement carried. Sam's head shot up. _What the hell? !_

Freddie suddenly became stiff, "I'm not jealous!" he said almost too quickly and refused to look at Sam. Carly kept looking between them wondering what was up with her two best friends.

"Breakfast is served!" Spencer announced breaking the tension he was completely unaware was going on. All four sat around the table and began to dig in.

"Mmm this bacon is delicious!" Sam spoke in between bites.

Freddie just stared at her with a mixture of disgust and wonder. _Boyfriend? Does that mean she's dating that James Dean wannabe? Why wouldn't she say anything before?_

"Oh Freddie we're gonna do iCarly earlier today, is that fine?" Carly asked breaking his train of thought.

"Huh?" Freddie dumbly asked.

Sam cut in, "We," signaling to her and Carly, "Want. To. Record. I. Carly. Early. Today."

Freddie stared at her, "I'm not stupid, Sam! I was just distracted."

"You could've fooled me." Sam retorted.

He turned away from her and spoke directly to Carly. "Why do you want to film the show earlier?"

Sam rolled her eyes, she hated being ignored but even more so when it was on purpose. "BECAUSE WE JUST DO, SO CAN YOU OR NOT?"

Freddie had to force himself not to smirk, he had managed to get the upper-hand on Sam a rare feat and decided to push further. "I'm sorry," he said turning to face her, "but I believe I was asking _Carly_ and not _you_." He sat back waiting for her to lash out.

Sam felt anger growing inside her, she wanted to reach over and cause him bodily harm but at the sound of hearing Freddie say, "_Carly_ not _you_." she felt a part of her shut down, the fire in her eyes went out. She was at a loss for words and for the first time didn't have a witty comeback. Sam was left with no choice but to let him win this one. "Whatever."

"What is wrong with you two? You're fighting more than usual." Carly cut in.

"It's him!" "It's her!" They both pointed their fingers and blamed each other at the same time.

"Me? !" Sam and Freddie yelled, outraged and glaring at each other.

"Enough!" Carly shouted. "We can't even enjoy breakfast without you two wanting to kill each other!"

"It's him! He sta—"

"Zip it!" Carly cut Sam off. "Now both of you upstairs! We're gonna resolve this once and for all." She said shooing them but Freddie and Sam didn't move. "I said NOW!" Carly said more forcefully causing Freddie and Sam to scurry up the stairs.

Spencer remained at the table realizing that Sam's questions had not been so random after all. He knew something was going on and perhaps that something was between Sam and Freddie.

* * *

><p>"Okay so you sit here and you over here." Carly pushed Sam and then Freddie onto a beanbag. "So what is wrong with you two?" Sam and Freddie stared off into opposite directions with their arms crossed. "Sam?"<p>

"Nothing is wrong. It's him!" She pointed at him. "You were there when he came in yelling at me." She rolled her eyes.

"Yelling at you? I did not yell at you!" Freddie shot.

"You're yelling at me right now!" Sam shot back.

"Oh you two are hopeless!" Carly threw her hands in the air and walked out of the studio.

Sam and Freddie remained on their respective beanbags stewing in their anger. They sat in silence avoiding each other's eyes for a few minutes until the silence became unbearable for Freddie.

"I'm sorry." He gently said turning towards her.

Sam sat still for a second unsure of how to proceed, she still felt angry, angry about the morning, about what Carly had revealed to her the night before, about… well everything. The aching hole in her chest was back and she could feel tears trying to well up, she blinked them back. Now she really couldn't speak for fear of having her lip quiver mid-sentence. _Compose yourself dammit!_

"Sam? I said I'm sorr—"

"I heard you." Sam interrupted.

"Oh." That was all Freddie could think to say. More silence.

Sam awkwardly stood up, her eyes darted around the room, "I'm gonna head home. I'll be back later to do iCarly."

She started to walk towards the door, _Stop me from leaving._ Freddie wanted to tell her to wait. He wanted to tell her to just stay, at least to stay long enough for him to find the courage to tell her he had feelings for her, but instead he just sat there… frozen. Her heart sank deeper, _Maybe it is hopeless_.

Sam opened the studio door and before walking out turned to him, "Oh by the way… I'm sorry too." And with that she was gone. Sam never returned later that day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I want to thank everyone who has reviewed! It has encouraged me to keep writing, I'm also glad everyone likes Jayden! =]**

**Ok so in this chapter there are revelations and I know I haven't given Freddie's pov of what happened but don't worry I will when the time is right. This chapter was a little difficult to write because I wasn't sure which direction to go so let me know what you think. Oh and I also thought it would be cute for Sam and Freddie to react similarly when realizing they have feelings for each other, which is why Freddie is doing something similar to Sam in Chapter 1. **

**Read & Review!  
><strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Ok so there's a lot going on in this chapter. The opening is a little dramatic but I felt that after having that last conversation with Freddie, Sam would want well more like need to just vent and really feel the pain of everything. I also wanted to get the story moving so I needed to have a couple of days go by in order to develop Jayden and Sam's relationship so there is a part where it's much like a movie montage, so the scenes are divided with "..." the 'montage' begins where it says "The following days..."**

**Oh and to be clear, I assume that iCarly is filmed on Fridays just for this story's sake... I actually don't know what day it's usually filmed. So after the little montage thing it's suppose to be about a week so it picks up on a Thursday. I hope that isn't confusing. The days aren't necessarily important but I wanted to make sure you guys knew it's been a week. Alright, on with the show!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly.  
><strong>

**Chapter 8: The Space Between**

"_Runaway" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs is blaring in Sam's bedroom._

Sam didn't care that she had missed iCarly the previous night. She decided she needed her space and was going to take it. She took another large gulp from the vodka bottle she had confiscated from her mom's secret stash. She sat on the edge of her windowsill looking out into the city. It's funny how the world just keeps going when you're emotionally drowning, making you feel even that more insignificant because your pain has no effect on the outside world.

_I was feeling sad  
>Can't help looking back<br>Highways flew by  
>Run, run away<br>No sense of time  
>Want you to stay<br>Want to keep you inside_

She had decided to finally unleash all her bottled up emotions and just be a fucking reckless seventeen year old, which is why she was now undeniably drunk. She didn't receive a call or text from Carly or Freddie about her whereabouts which only made her descend further into her depression. "Fuck 'em!" she said out loud and took another swig, if they didn't care then she wasn't going to care either.

_Run, run, run away  
>Lost, lost, lost my mind<br>Like you to stay  
>Want you to be my prize<em>

_Run, run, run away  
>Lost, lost, lost my mind<br>Like you to stay  
>Want you to be my prize<em>

Her mind was enveloped in a heavy, drunken fog causing her thoughts to jumble. She let out a scornful laugh at the reminder that Freddie had fucked Carly. She was so wasted that she was sure her thoughts were slurring. Graphic, sordid flashes of the two having sex began brutally assaulting her mind causing her to cringe. She imagined Freddie caressing and kissing Carly all over, and reveling in the sensation of being buried inside her. She was tormenting herself relentlessly. She wondered if he knew Carly wasn't a virgin, she figured he didn't and how he must've been gentle with her, all the while Carly was taking his virginity in vain. Her anger rose again, making her blood boil up her spine and flushing her face.

_I was feeling sad  
>Can't help looking back<br>Highways flew by  
>Run, run, run away<br>No sense of time  
>Like you to stay<br>Want to keep you inside_

The feeling overwhelmed her. She was mad because she was heartbroken, the "Sam Way" of dealing with everything was to turn any melancholic emotion into rage, because it made everything easier to deal with. Anger she knew how to control but pain/heartache she had no fucking clue about. There was no rationalizing with her mind that these were just assumptions. In reality, she didn't know if they had enjoyed it, however she did know that Freddie mentioned it was a mistake as did Carly, yet her mind kept warping what she knew into vile images. She stood from her window seat and stumbled a bit to maintain her balance which frustrated her, she banged her arm against the wall in the process. It was the last straw, the match that lit the fire and she burst into tears and stifled screams. "FUCK!" She threw the bottle across her room shattering it into pieces, the remaining alcohol staining her walls. Sam continued to throw anything near her, she just wanted to vent. Tears welled up in her eyes and heavy teardrops began to spill out all the while flashes of Freddie filled her mind.

_All along, not so strong  
>Without these open arms<br>Hold on tight  
>All along, not that strong<br>Without these open arms  
>Lie beside<br>All along, not so strong  
>Without these open arms<br>Ride beside_

She staggered backwards until she hit the wall with her back and collapsed onto the floor. She was now sobbing uncontrollably causing all her strength to leave her body. She let out loud whimpers and wails, "Why me? ! Whyyyy?" would escape from her mouth in between cries. She hugged her knees and buried her face weeping even harder. Her thoughts extended into her overall life. Why did she have the broken life? What had she done to deserve it? Sam cowered into the corner of her room, hugging herself tighter. The tears had somewhat subsided leaving her face stained. She released shaky, trembling sighs and remained still in a catatonic state. The charade had finally caught up with her, there was no running from this and she could feel her grasp on everything slowly, slip away.

_Run, run, run away  
>Lost, lost, lost my mind<br>Like you to stay  
>Want you to be my prize<br>Run, run, run away  
>Lost, lost, lost my mind<br>Like you to stay  
>Want you to be my prize<em>

* * *

><p><strong>The morning after (Saturday)…<strong>

_Buzz, buzz._ The buzzing from Sam's cell phone stirred her slumber. _Buzz buzz._ She opened her wary eyes and squinted at the brightness of the room, she had fallen asleep on the floor not having enough strength or balance to move towards the bed. _Buzz, buzz_ her phone's vibrations snapped her into full consciousness.

"Hu-llo?" She groggily answered her phone.

"Wow. Morning, Sunshine, you sound pleasant." Jayden lightly teased, you could hear the smile in his voice.

Sam groaned. "Man, I have a hangover from hell!"

Jayden laughed. "Well it's your lucky day then. Get dressed. I'm coming to get you. I know a place that will cure your hangover."

"But it's too early!" Sam whined.

"You'll get to eat…" he said in sing-song.

Sam perked up, "Fine."

Jayden chuckled, "Cool, I'll be there in 15." He hung up before Sam had a chance to protest the short notice.

Sam stood up and staggered a bit, "Shit! I'm never drinking again!" She proceeded to take a quick shower and get dressed.

* * *

><p><strong>The following days…<strong>

"_Spitting Fire" by The Boxer Rebellion plays throughout montage._

Sam sat on the passenger seat with her head resting against the window pane. She watched the pavement, walkers-by, buildings, and trees blur together into an abstract painting. She was glad to be here, to have someone to turn to outside of her usual circle. Sam turned to look at Jayden who felt her eyes on him. Jayden threw her a glance and smile and then returned his eyes to the road, oblivious of the fondness Sam was currently experiencing. She internally smiled and diverted her eyes back to the blur of the world around her. _Maybe everything will be okay._ She exhaled a breath and chose to revel in the moment, in her little bubble of tranquility, because for the first time in days she felt peace.

…

…

…

Jayden walked to the table with a glass of water and set it next to Sam who had a honey glazed ham sitting right in front of her. He walked around and took a seat across from her. "You're really gonna do this?"

"You don't think I can, do you?" she probed.

He laughed. "I didn't say that."

"Yeah, but the look on your face speaks volumes." He chuckled with skepticism written on his face. Sam narrowed her eyes at him, "Just set the timer."

Jayden set the timer for 15 minutes. "Alright. Ready, set, go!" The timer started ticking and Sam dived into the ham.

…

…

…

Sam and Jayden hiked up a hill on a quaint pathway surrounded by trees and seas of green pastures. "How much longerrrr?" Sam complained dragging her feet.

"Oh come on it's only been 10 minutes." He said grabbing her hand to drag her up the hill.

"Yeah, 10 minutes uphill that's gotta count as 20 minutes or so!" She protested. Jayden simply stared at her with amusement. "What? !" she asked irritated.

He smiled, "If I carry you will you stop throwing a fit?"

Sam's jaw dropped. "I'm not throwing a fit!"

"You kinda are. Now come on hop up." He said hunching down so that Sam could climb on his back for a piggy back ride.

Sam walked up to him, "Just so you know I'm accepting your offer because I hate anything that requires effort NOT because I threw a fit." She proceeded to jump onto his back and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Of course." Jayden mocked taking a firm hold on her legs.

"Oh just get a move on it." Sam said pointing forward. Jayden lifted her higher and repositioned his hands and began hiking again, a goofy grin etched on his face.

…

…

…

Sam was sitting on a stepping stool in Jayden's garage toying with a wrench. She was watching Jayden work on his car and couldn't overlook that he was wearing a white, oil stained muscle shirt that she couldn't deny looked good on him. She couldn't help but wonder how it could be that she fell for a tech nerd that would never look this rugged. The reminder of Freddie prompted her to check her phone, _No new messages._ She knew that she wanted space but she figured Carly and Freddie would've text her or something.

"Done!" She heard Jayden say breaking her train of thought. He noticed the distant look in her eyes, it was the same one she wore the day he ran into her at the park. "Wanna learn how to drive stick shift?" He said in hopes of distracting her.

Sam eyed him, "Do you mean the car or are you being dirty?"

Jayden couldn't help but laugh out loud and held his hands up. "I wasn't implying anything." He dropped his hands. "But if you wanna, you know?" He joked wagging his eyebrows.

It was Sam's turn to laugh. "I at least expect breakfast, lunch and dinner first." She said walking towards the car.

"Wow, all three huh? Guess it's a good thing I have the first two down." He joshed.

"Shut up and get in the car, Casanova!"

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile…<strong>

Freddie stared at his phone contemplating calling Sam. He thought about the last time he saw her... last Friday the day they were scheduled to shoot iCarly. It was now Wednesday. _Five days… I haven't seen her in five days._ She hadn't shown up to school for the past three days and that worried him even more. He had spoken to Carly about his worries but she had told him that Sam needed her space and it was best to give it to her, he agreed at first but now it was just getting difficult to ignore. _I'll call her today._

"Hey, still no word?" Carly asked walking up to him.

"Nope, you?"

Carly shook her head. She noticed Freddie's sadness, "She'll come around soon. Sam… she just… well she's Sam. What exactly happened after I left?"

"I told you already that nothing happened. We didn't fight. We didn't really say anything." He sighed.

"Well why won't you tell me what you two were fighting about?" she probed.

Freddie looked at her a little exasperated. "Carly if I knew I would tell you but I don't."

"How could you not know? I don't understand you two sometimes!" She stomped her foot in frustration.

"Come on let's get going I have a lot of homework." He said ignoring her little outburst.

* * *

><p>Freddie and Carly walked into the Groovy Smoothie. It was filled with teenagers like it usually was but one set of teenagers in particular caught Freddie's attention immediately. He saw Sam and Jayden sipping smoothies at the table <em>they<em> usually sat at and a bolt of jealousy ransacked his body.

"Oh look there's Sam." Carly said walking towards her.

Sam was laughing at something Jayden said when she noticed Carly approaching their table, she sat up and her eyes followed behind Carly where a very angry Freddie stood.

"Hey, Sam." Carly awkwardly stood in front of Sam and Jayden. "Hey, Jay."

"Hey, what's up? Have a seat." Jayden responded.

"Sup, Shay." Sam replied. She looked over to Freddie who walked passed them to order his smoothie. "What's up with Fredduardo?" She asked pointing behind her with her thumb.

Carly looked behind her and noticed Freddie refusing to acknowledge Sam's presence. Carly knew Freddie was upset that he had spent days worrying about Sam and here she was carelessly enjoying a smoothie. "Oh um nothing, he's just ordering a smoothie."

"He looks pissed if you ask me." Jayden threw in.

"No, no he's just ordering a smoothie." Carly jumped in.

"He does look pissed." Sam turned to look at him but his back was to hers. "Aww, perhaps its tick bath day!" She said with false sympathy rather loudly.

"Sam!" Carly scolded her and she smirked.

Jayden laughed. "Tick bath?"

"Very funny, Puckett." Freddie dryly said behind Sam.

"Glad you think so. I'm here all week." She shot back not bothering to look at him.

"Oh really? Then I guess you must've been on tour this past week." He sarcastically spat.

Sam turned around to face him. "What's it to ya, Benson? Have you been promoted to attendance monitor or some shit?"

He wanted to grab her, tell her to shut up and kiss her but he couldn't. She was physically close to him yet emotionally distant and cold. "No, but when someone says they're going to be somewhere they should honor their commitment."

Sam shrugged, "Yeah… well people say a lotta things they don't mean." They stared each other down.

Jayden leaned into Carly. "Are they always like this?"

"No, they're usually not this bad. It's only this week that they've been at each other's throats." She whispered back.

Jayden sat up again. He was connecting the dots in his head. Sam at the park, Sam upset about her friends having sex, Sam avoiding said friends, Sam fighting with Freddie. Now he understood why she was so upset. He knew there had to be a little bit more to the story but never bothered digging deeper. Sam had feelings for Freddie and that's why she had been depressed lately. The realization couldn't help but disappoint him a bit because over the last couple days he had really grown to enjoy having Sam around and he didn't want to lose that. He cherished their friendship but he couldn't ignore that he was beginning to really like Sam. He didn't want to lose her. He had to step up his game.

"Are you guys going to end this any time soon?" Carly spoke up interrupting Sam and Freddie.

They both turned to her. "There's nothing to end." Sam spoke first.

Freddie turned to look at her with a pained expression. "You really mean that?"

The seriousness in his tone snapped Sam out of her angry, stubborn stupor. She didn't know what to say. Of course she didn't mean it but her pride wouldn't let her speak. All she could do is look at him.

"Guess so." Freddie almost whispered and walked out of the Groovy Smoothie.

Sam watched him leave. She wanted to just say that she didn't mean it but it was too late. She turned back to the table and averted the two pairs of eyes looking at her. She felt disappointed in herself for being so cruel to Freddie. She didn't know why she did it, she couldn't help it. Sam could feel herself taking it too far as she was doing it but had no way of stopping herself, she hated that about herself.

"You okay?" Jayden asked.

She lifted her eyes from the table. "Yeah… I… I'm gonna go okay?"

"Um… okay…that's fine." He said trying to sound understanding even though he felt a little glum about it.

She shot him a smile. "I'll talk to you later, alright?" She was trying to make the situation seem normal. She then turned to Carly, "I'll talk to you later, too." She gave one last smile and left.

* * *

><p>Freddie stood on his fire escape looking out into the horizon. He was hurt over what Sam had said, <em>Does she really think so little about our friendship?<em> It felt like everything was just falling apart around them, crumbling at such quick speeds that they were unable to notice until there was no way back. He heard steps beneath him and looked down to notice Sam climbing up. She noticed him and intently stared at him as she climbed. She reached the fire escape and awkwardly stood there in silence. Only the sounds of the city and wind could be heard, they were deafening compared to the silence between them.

"Why?" Sam suddenly spoke, her expression and tone serious.

"Why what?" Freddie asked a little perplexed.

"Why are you fighting with me? Why did you feel guilty? Why did you do it? Just... why?" Her eyes were pleading.

The intensity of Sam's blue eyes burned a hole through Freddie, it intimidated him. How was he supposed to answer if not even he was sure of the answers. "Why are _you_ fighting with me? I told you before I don't know why. I think because I thought there was something more there, between you and me, between us." There it was he had finally said it. His heart was pounding in his chest, he didn't know how she would react and it scared him.

Sam's heart was also pounding. She wasn't expecting to hear him say _that._ "Something more?" She desperately wanted him to elaborate.

_Screw it!_ Freddie thought. He was just going to lay it out for her. "Yes, Sam. I thought that maybe there was something there, you know more than just friendship. So when you walked in I felt terrible, especially because I knew it was a mistake right after or maybe even before, and there was no way to go back and because it was going to ruin things between you and I. Apparently, I was right, too, because look at us." He signaled between them.

Sam absorbed his words, taking them in one at a time in order to process what she was hearing. "So then why did you do it?"

Freddie's heart sank a little. Here he was opening his heart to her and she didn't even comment on it. "I don't know why. I have no answer for that."

"You can't, not know! How can you stand there and tell me that there's something between us yet you have no answer as to why you screwed Carly? That doesn't make sense!" She was becoming agitated.

Freddie watched her, "Why does it bother you?"

The unexpected questioned stunned her. "What?"

"Why does it bother you so much, Sam? Why do you care so much about what happened?" She looked down. "No, no. Don't look away from me." He stepped closer to her. "Sam… don't shut me out. Just talk to me." He implored. The proximity tugged at his heart, he wanted to reach out and touch her, hold her.

"You already know why! Isn't it obvious?" She blurted. "But it doesn't matter anyway because it's ruined! You think anything will come of it? It won't! Because I can't forget what happened…" She was emotionally drained.

It was now Freddie's turn to be stunned. Sam's emotional distress was now visible and he could see just how much of a toll it had been taking on her. Dread permeated into every cell of his body because Sam was right there was no easy fix, but there had to be some other way, right? "Sam… we can try—"

"No!" She shook her head and stepped. "We can't try. It's too late"

"It's not. There has to be a way…" Freddie was trying hard not to sound defeated despite the fact that he honestly didn't know if there was a way.

"Freddie… you don't even know why you did it." She gave a sad, cynical smile, "There's no point." She began to climb down.

Freddie just watched her. He didn't try to stop her because the future did seem bleak from this angle. Sadness washed over him and he just watched her. Guilt was evident, he blamed himself.

Sam noticed and felt his pain. "I don't hate you for it. You didn't know so it's not your fault. We're still friends. But I just… I'm gonna need some time, okay?" She said looking up at him.

Freddie just nodded. He knew things were no longer going to be the same. He didn't like the idea of giving her time because he knew he'd lose her, that he was already losing her, but he had no choice. Sam smiled at him trying to reassure him that they would be okay even though she knew there was a very, very slim chance.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So what do you think? Was it confusing? Hopefully not. Oh and for the music again not necessary but it's just inspiration for me, although I have to say "Spitting Fire" is an awesome song!**

**Read and Review! =]**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I wish I could've updated sooner but I guess never start a story when you're going on vacation. Anyway, I'm back and will be updating more frequently. I hope I haven't lost any readers. Okay so I actually had a little bit of writer's block and had no idea which direction to take this so, I feel pretty comfortable with this direction not 100% but at least it will be less predictable, at least I think. **

**Oh by the way how awesome was iLost My Mind? ! I loved it and can't wait for the next episode, but what's up with it airing in September? Anyway on with the story.  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: iCarly is not mine.  
><strong>

**Chapter 9: Conflicting Emotions**

Sam stood at her locker, she was getting some books for class. Yes, Sam was actually getting her books. Ditching a few days of school had come back to bite her in the ass.

"Hey," Freddie said approaching her and stopping at an obvious distance.

She stopped ruffling through things in her locker and turned to look at him, "Hey…" the word dragged on when she noticed his awkward stance. This was exactly what she feared.

"So… how was your weekend?"

"Fine." Sam was putting up her walls, she didn't want to talk to him like this.

"Oh, what did you do?" He continued unaware of her frustrations.

She turned back to her locker and gave a loud sigh. "I'm not doing this."

"Not doing what?" Freddie asked concerned.

"This!" she signaled between them, "I don't want to have generic conversations and feel uncomfortable around you."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sam." He naively said.

"Oh, really?" She stepped closer and he moved back instantly. "See!"

"Sorry! I don't know if you want me near you or not. I don't know how to be around you since you said you needed time."

Sam rolled her eyes, it was typical of this boy to be clueless about faking normalcy. "Just act like you normally would."

He stared at her. "I can't." He said shaking his head.

Sam felt like the air had been sucked out of her lungs. She had been dreading that things would just go downhill from the last time they spoke. Freddie noticed her face fall and quickly elaborated.

"I can't because normally I'd stand close to you, I'd casually make physical contact with you and the thought of being near you… being close or touching you isn't casual anymore, it means something." Freddie stepped closer with each word until he was right in front of Sam. "You can't say it doesn't mean anything to you. I know you feel it." Freddie whispered.

Sam was motionless. She closed her eyes and could feel Freddie's whisper tickle her face. _I do feel it… oh god how I do… wait when the hell did Freddie grow a pair?_ _Probably the moment he screwed Carly!_ She cynically thought. That's all it took to snap Sam out of her Freddie trance. "You don't know what or how I feel. Only cause I admitted to some _feelings_, doesn't mean I've become some sap." She stepped back. Leave it to Sam to reject someone's romantic gesture. "I gotta go to class and stop acting strange, Fredweird." She walked away with a hidden smile, oh deep down she liked it.

Freddie recognized the playful undertones in her words and decided he wasn't going to give up that easily, after all she hadn't pummeled him after giving her that speech that had to be a good sign. "Wait up, Puckett!" He yelled out catching up to her. They both walked to class just like they always had for the last couple of years. Maybe there was no need to fake it, maybe they could be like they always had been.

* * *

><p>Carly was in the kitchen pouring some iced tea for Sam and herself. Sam lounged on the couch with her feet up on the coffee table. Tensions had eased ever since she and Freddie had reached some level of civility. Things were in fact so much better that Sam was in a good mood and could even go as far as to say she had a good day.<p>

"Hey, Carls do you think you could help me with this stupid science report?" She asked as she skimmed through the late work she needed to catch up on.

"Yeah, sure what do you need me to do?" Carly walked toward the couch with the two iced teas.

Sam gave Carly a 'duh' look as she took the cup from her, "The report."

"Why did I ask?" Carly asked herself.

"Seriously, you should've seen that one coming."

The door to the apartment opened and Freddie walked in. "Hello ladies." His good mood was evident. He sat down next to Sam and turned to her smiling. "Hey."

Sam was puzzled by his closeness and newfound confidence, was he not aware that Carly was in the room. "Hey," she said skeptically. He had to be up to something and why was he sitting so close? She enjoyed having him close but part of her rejected it.

"Why are you so happy?" Carly asked Freddie.

He tore his eyes from Sam. "I don't know. Just had a good day I guess." He noticed Sam begin drinking her iced tea to pretend to not care about his conversation then added, "Talked to a girl I like."

Sam spat out her iced tea and began to choke. She turned to look at Freddie who had a smirk plastered on his face.

"Are you okay, Sam? !" Carly patted her back. Sam just nodded and shrugged her off. "So who's this girl? Do we know her?"

Freddie couldn't help but grin, "You could say that."

Sam shot him a death glare. "Carly why even bother asking we all know it's NOT gonna happen."

"Sam, don't be mean. I think it's nice that he likes someone. So who is it?" Carly inquired.

"Well… she's—"

"Not important! This is boring, I'm outs." Sam got up and began to collect her belongings. She hoped it was enough to distract Carly and to send Freddie a message that she wasn't on board with his little game.

"What? Where are you going?" Carly asked.

"I have things to do." She threw her backpack over her shoulder.

"What things?" This time it was Freddie interrogating her.

"Homework." Sam bluffed.

Freddie scoffed. "You don't _do_ homework."

"Well she does have make-up work to do." Carly said in Sam's defense.

Sam pointed at Carly. "That's true."

Freddie rolled his eyes, "Well if you didn't hang out with that hooligan and skipped school that wouldn't happen."

It was Sam's turn to force a smile away and mock. "Hooligan?" She laughed, "Who says hooligan?"

"Whatever."

"Hey, I don't think Jay's a hooligan. I like him I think he's good for Sam." Carly threw in.

Freddie's eyes snapped at her. How dare she say that! "Of course _you_ don't see it."

"Hey! What is that supposed to mean? !" Carly was clearly offended.

"Ignore the nub, Carls. I'll call you later." Sam walked out.

Carly continued to glare at Freddie waiting for him to explain what he meant but he ignored it and announced he was also leaving to work on his homework. His little game had not necessarily backfired but it didn't work in his favor either, because Sam had left and he was sure she had left to see _him!_

* * *

><p>Sam indeed had left to see Jayden. She hadn't really talked to him since the Groovy Smoothie incident and figured she owed him a visit. She walked up to his door and knocked. It didn't take very long before a very bloodshot-eyed Jayden with a goofy smile opened the door.<p>

Sam chuckled, "High?"

"Hey." He said back assuming she meant 'hi'.

Sam couldn't help but laugh and let it go before she confused the poor boy. "So… can I come in?"

"Oh yeah. Come right in." Jayden opened the door wider to allow her in.

Sam walked in and sat on the couch, she was becoming more comfortable in Jayden's headquarters. "What have you been up to?"

He walked and sat next to her. "Just chillin', hanging out. This." He sniggered. "What about you? Finally made peace?"

"Peace?" She gave him a bewildered look.

"Yeah, you know with that Freddie guy." He laid his head on the back rest of the couch as he spoke.

Sam softly sighed. "What are you talking about?" She was shocked that he would bring this up, sure she wasn't completely naïve and knew that he kind of fancied her but this was the last thing she expected.

"Well isn't he the one you were mad at after you found out about him and Carly? He's the whole reason you were really upset, right?" He attempted to say it nonchalantly but Sam couldn't help but hear a hint of resentment.

Sam sat up straighter. "Are you upset with me or something?"

"Nope, I'm fine." He shrugged.

"Really? Cause you're being kind of a dick." She bluntly stated.

"How am I being a dick? I just asked you some questions. You don't have to answer them, just making conversation." He was being incredibly blasé.

Sam smacked her lips together, her patience wearing thin. "Alright, fine. Whatever."

"You like him." He pointed out.

There was no point in denying it. He clearly knew which is why he was being so passive aggressive. "I guess so."

"And he knows?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah."

"Mutual?"

"I think so, yeah."

He was quiet for a little bit trying to put the pieces together. "Hmm… so why are you here?"

Sam was a little slighted by his question. "To see you. Do you want me to leave?"

He turned to look at her and smiled at her assumption. "No, not at all. I'd much rather have you here with me but if he likes you and you like him then why aren't you with him?" His behavior appeared to soften.

"Jayden… it's not like that." Sam tried to explain without really explaining.

"Carly?" Damn this boy was too perceptive!

"I don't want to talk about this! I came to see you not to talk about Carly or Freddie or anything else!"

"Ah come on. So you're telling me that you found out the guy you like likes you back and said guy conveniently happens to be your best friend and you don't want to see where it can lead?" Jayden was subtly probing her mind.

Sam was quiet, she was thinking about his question, he made it sound so great. "Of course I've thought about it but what am I gonna do? I can't look at him like before, I mean it's one thing to get over him being "in love" with her or whatever and watching them date but this, this is too permanent! Besides I'd have to tell Carly and that's gonna lead to a whole conversation I don't want to have."

"Would you stop? You're self-sabotaging! First of all figure out what you want. Secondly, stop viewing what happened as an excuse to not go for it, and lastly Carly is not the center of the universe! I get it she's your friend but you need to figure out your business first. She's part of the details in the scenario not a leading player." The helpful, caring Jayden was back. He did fancy Sam and it did suck that she had feelings for someone else, but he also knew that Sam often didn't get her way and if there was a chance she could get what she wanted, then he wasn't going to be the one to interfere. However, if for whatever reason she was to change her mind he would happily welcome her.

"Stop telling me this. I had a good day and just want to end it that way." Sam didn't want to get her hopes up. She honestly felt like she couldn't ignore Carly and Freddie's _thing_, she had a right to not see where it might lead, didn't she? She could feel her anxiety rise. There was a reason she didn't like to talk about these things, it just made her feel pressured to do something about it even though she didn't want to, or at least she felt like she didn't want to. Sam's heart pulled in one direction while her brain pulled in the other like a tug of war. She sat still contemplating what to do, trying to convince herself to just stay away and let it pass but her heart was too damn strong, she wasn't sure if she could beat it. Sam leaned back and exhaled.

"What do you suggest I do?" She was still reluctant and unsure if she should even ask but the words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

A grin began forming on Jayden's lips, yes he was disappointed but he was also proud of Sam, because here she was opening herself up instead of hiding behind her walls. "Talk to him. Tell him what you told me, then you can deal with Carly."

"What if I just speak to Carly first?" Sam was nibbling on her thumb fingernail. Jayden gave her a 'what the hell did I just tell you' look. "Maybe she can give me advice, too." She explained.

"What are you scared of?" His face was dead serious.

"She's my best friend, Jayden. I don't want to lose her!" She was stressing out.

"Okay, okay. Chill out. You won't lose her I doubt she'll get upset, so what's really bothering you?" He understood that Sam was insecure when she was compared to Carly. She always felt second to her.

"What if it I'm not able to do it? What if I don't know how to be a girlfriend? What if he doesn't even want me to be his girlfriend? Or worse what if I can't get passed it and fuck it up?" And there it was.

"Dude, you're already thinking of the end when the beginning has yet to start. Just try and if it doesn't work out at least you have that. Trust me it's a lot worse to wonder about it and attempt a move when it's too late." He spoke gently but firm.

Sam buried her face into a throw pillow and grumbled. Jayden had managed to convince her and she felt nervous and scared but excited, sadly though the lingering thought that she wouldn't be able to let go of the sex situation troubled her head. Deep, deep down Sam entertained the idea of being with Freddie and working out the issues, she really had and it caused butterflies to swarm her tummy. If only it was that simple she would go for it but her pride, her fears wouldn't allow it. She was seriously torn and although her heart was currently winning the tug of war she was afraid that her fears would soon get the upper hand and ruin everything. If that happened she could end up with one best friend less and in the worst case scenario two. _How the hell am I going to do this? !_

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><p><strong>Okay so what do you think? Originally, I was going to make Jayden a jerk about it but he doesn't strike me too much as the kind to turn on someone just cause he doesn't get things his way. Sam I know seems like she's really hanging onto Carly and Freddie hooking up and it seems to be dragging on but honestly if I were in her position I wouldn't be able to just be like "eh its the past" because they're friends and it's always going to be there, not to mention that she has insecurity issues about being second best and what not. How do you feel about Freddie being more forward? I think he has it in him and that was proved in iLMM. So let me know what you think. I appreciate suggestions.<br>**

**Read and Review! =]**_  
><em>


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Me no own iCarly.  
><strong>

**Chapter 10: Tears and Kisses**

Carly and Freddie were arriving home from school and were talking in the hallway. Sam was coming up when she heard the two talking, it sounded like they were having a dispute so she stayed back and eavesdropped.

"All I'm saying is that I would like to know what the hell is going on." Carly's aggravation was apparent.

"What do you want me to say?" He lifted his hands and raised his eyebrows.

"Agh! I want you to tell me the truth! I know that something is up. I feel like the three of us are just drifting and I also know something is up with Sam because she's been purposely avoiding me!" Carly snapped.

Sam was intently listening, she felt guilty for avoiding Carly and she felt bad that Freddie was the one to catch Carly's wrath. In spite of this she couldn't help but appreciate that he respected her wishes and hadn't told Carly, but she knew she had to speak to Carly tonight.

Freddie dragged his hand over his face. He was tired of Carly's nagging. "Why don't you just ask her? I'm still here so maybe it's her you need to talk to."

Carly settled down a little. "I've tried Freddie but I feel like she doesn't really want to talk to me and I know you're still here and I'm glad because I'd hate it if our friendship ended because of—"

"I know." Freddie cut in. He stepped closer and put his hand on her shoulder, "Listen, nothing's changed okay? You're still my best friend." Freddie gave her a warm smile.

Carly exhaled out of relief and smiled back. "Thanks, Freddie. And you're right I'm going to talk to Sam about this." She pulled him in for a hug.

Sam watched and although she knew they were friends she couldn't help but feel jealous that she didn't have that type of relationship with Freddie. He had never been that tender with her and it made her heart hurt. She shook her head trying to rid her mind of those pesky thoughts. She should be glad to have such good friends, she seriously needed to stop comparing herself. _It's innocent, it doesn't mean anything more. _She put on her game face and walked forward.

"Sup peoples."

Freddie and Carly pulled away.

"Hey, Sam." Carly smiled at her. It was intense like she was trying to show how much she loved and missed her.

"Hey." Freddie said sounding sullen. "I'll see you guys later. I have errands to run with my mom." He turned around and walked into his apartment.

Sam was puzzled. The previous day he was being forward and flirty and today he was cold. Who the hell understood that nub? She turned towards Carly.

"I think we should talk." Sam was done beating around the bush.

"Me too." Carly opened the door and the two walked in.

Sam sat on the couch and waited for Carly to begin the conversation, she might've been ready to talk but she was not ready to be the opener.

Carly paced back and forth then suddenly stopped. "Are you mad at me?"

"What? No!"

"Then what is it? Why are you never around? We haven't even filmed iCarly!" Carly squealed and began pacing again.

Sam stood up, stopped her and held her by the shoulders. "Carls, will you get a grip? You're freakin' making me dizzy." She pushed her down on the couch, "Now sit."

Carly breathed in and out repeatedly, "Okay. I'm calm now. So tell me what's wrong."

Now, Sam wanted to pace but she maintained her composure and sat down facing Carly. "Well… it's hard to explain exactly what is wrong."

"Sam, you can tell me anything, just talk to me." Carly tried to encourage her to open up.

Sam's eyes darted around the living room trying to find the words, trying to figure out what exactly it is she wanted to say, but came up empty. She sighed, "This will be easier if maybe you ask me questions."

Carly was a little perplexed but obliged. "Um… okay. Does it have to do with me?"

Sam rolled her eyes at her friend's choice. "Kinda." Carly's eyes shot wide open with concern. "Just keep asking."

"So it 'kinda' has to do with me. Does it also involve someone else? A neighbor boy perhaps?" Carly was beginning to catch on quickly.

"Yes." Sam said point blank.

Carly stood up. "It's about me and Freddie? !"

Sam stood up as well, "Yeah."

"But I thought you said you were fine with it." Carly tried to read Sam.

Sam began pacing, "Well I wasn't entirely honest. It's just… I don't get it and I hate that it happened! I mean why for fuck's sake?" She threw her arms in the air.

"It didn't mean anything, Sam. I'm sorry okay! I'm sorry that it happened but it's not like it changed things. Freddie and I are still friends." She tried to reassure.

Sam scoffed in disbelief. "Carly, everything _did_ change. Everything _is_ different, haven't you noticed?"

"Well, yes. But I mostly notice you. You're the one that's changed." Carly pointed at Sam accusingly.

"That's true. I have." Sam sat down on the couch.

"But why?" Carly asked once again sitting down as well, she was unsure whether to stand or sit so she kept fidgeting.

_Why?_ There it was, the ultimate, defining question. "Because it hurts." Sam softly confessed her voice faintly cracking.

The words dumbfounded Carly for a second. She was at a loss for words. "Why does it hurt?" Carly's mind was analyzing the last couple of weeks, "Freddie?" She hesitantly asked.

Sam simply nodded without making eye contact and hung her head.

"You care about Freddie?" Carly gently spoke.

Sam nodded again.

Carly's mind was reeling and the truth about everything struck her like a taco truck. She stood up, "Oh my god… you… him… oh but I… and him…oh my god… I'm sooo sorry, Sam!" Tears welled up in her eyes.

Sam refused to look up, there were tears in her eyes as well and she didn't think she could look at Carly and not lose it.

Carly sat down next to Sam and put her hand on her shoulder. "Sam, why didn't you tell me? God this must've been killing you! I'm so sorry! I feel so terrible!" She was now crying.

"Don't worry about it. You didn't know so it's not your fault." Her lip quivered and she tried her damn hardest to hold it in.

"No, Sam! I am going to worry because it was so irresponsible of me to just do something like that! I screwed up and I wish I could take it back, especially now!" She lunged forward and hugged Sam.

Sam didn't mean to but she didn't feel comfortable being hugged and pitied. She jumped up as a reflex and pushed Carly away. "Stop, it takes two remember? So it's not your fault. Don't feel bad because of me. Shit happens." She desperately tried to shrug it off.

"Does he know?" Carly asked ignoring Sam's plea to leave things where they were.

"Yeah." She glumly said.

"What did he say?" Carly's mind once again went into overdrive and before Sam could answer Carly exclaimed pointing at her, "You're the girl!"

Sam raised her eyebrows in question.

"The girl that he was talking about when you left! Yes! It all makes sense now!" Carly was mostly telling herself.

"Alright, settle down. It doesn't matter cause nothing's gonna come of it." Sam firmly stated.

"What? No, Sam. You can't just let this go. Do you realize how good you two are for each other? I can't believe I never saw it before. You have to at least try." Carly implored.

Sam shook her head. "No, Carls. It's not happening. Look, I get what you're saying I do. But you have to place yourself in my position, you two had sex and that's never gonna erase. How am I going to date someone who did that with my best friend and be casual about it? I can't because I'm forever going to wonder."

Sam wasn't trying to blame Carly, nonetheless the force of her words mentally slapped her. "It's my fault." Carly raised her hand to stop Sam from interjecting, "Don't say it's not because it is. Deep down I think you know that as well, but Sam honestly you can't let him go because that day, I swear it really was nothing! I mean we bar—"

"Ah, ah! I don't wanna know!" Sam covered her ears.

"Sam! You need to hear this!" Carly insisted.

"I will leave, I swear I will." Sam was serious.

"Fine, fine. But you should definitely do something about this!" Carly continued.

"I caaaan't!" Sam shouted.

In that instant Freddie walked in. "Hey, guys." He stopped and noticed Carly's puffy face and swollen eyes he turned to look at Sam and noticed red rims around her eyes. "What's going on?"

Carly couldn't stand to look at him right now, it was too much for her and she ran up the stairs. Sam and Freddie watched her leave and then turned back to each other.

"Sam, what's going on?" He was concerned.

"Nothing." Sam turned away. She too wasn't ready to face Freddie and felt a choking knot rise up her throat. She blinked several times trying to rid the tears from her eyes that were threatening to spill.

Freddie walked up to her, grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. "I know that something is wrong I can see it in your face and Carly's. Why are you two crying?"

She was defenseless. She had no strength left in her to speak, fight… nothing. She intently stared at him trying to convey everything with her eyes and that's when it happened, a tear rolled down her cheek. Freddie was taken aback, he had never seen her cry before. He lifted his hand and tenderly wiped away her tear, his hand lingered there caressing her face for as long as he could before dropping it back to his side.

"Sam…" He whispered.

"I told her." She murmured. She turned her eyes downward not wanting to meet his gaze.

Freddie let out a breath. It appeared like a breath of relief but Sam couldn't be sure. "How'd she take it?"

She glanced up at him, "Better than I did."

Freddie stepped a little closer, he was extremely close now and Sam couldn't find it in her to pull away. "What happens now?" He was still speaking softly.

Sam shrugged.

"Look at me, Sam." He lifted her chin, "Please."

Sam complied. When she looked into his eyes it sent shivers down her body. His chocolate, brown eyes bore holes through hers. Tears flooded her eyes when she thought about the unfortunate situation they found themselves in, it was so unfair.

Freddie watched Sam's face turn pink and her blue eyes drown in the salty solution. The tears in her eyes sparkled like diamonds and his heart broke at the sight of the sad yet unbelievably beautiful girl in front of him. He instinctively pulled her in for a tight hug, wishing he could make all her pain disappear. Sam's instincts told her to pull away but she didn't have the will to fight anymore. Instead she melted into his body and cherished the moment, then without warning Sam began to weep. Freddie held her tighter when he heard her whimpers and felt her body shake.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sooo sorry, Sam. I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry for everything." Freddie repeatedly uttered the words in Sam's ear as she cried. He pulled her back with him onto the sofa and pulled her onto his lap continuing to hold her. Freddie cradled Sam in his arms and she buried her face into the crook of his neck. For the first time Sam allowed him to see her vulnerable side and console her, to take care of her and she had to admit it felt right.

* * *

><p><strong>Early the next morning…<strong>

Sam and Freddie had fallen asleep on the sofa both emotionally exhausted. Freddie began to stir and wearily opened his eyes. He examined his and Sam's position. Freddie's body was slouched over the couch and Sam's body was partially draped over his, her head rested on his chest. He could hear her faint, even breaths. He didn't want to move for fear of disturbing her sleep. He watched her sleep and couldn't help but admire her beauty. _How did I not notice before? I'm such an idiot. I can't lose her, I… dammit how the hell could I let this happen? _He internally cringed at the memory of Sam's pain. _I have to make it right. I have to prove to her, show her that… _he breathed in her scent and held her closer _…that I love her. _

Sam's eyes fluttered open and she slowly stretched when she recognized that she wasn't alone. _What the fuck? _Her eyes shot up where they met Freddie's gaze.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." Freddie smiled.

Sam started to sit up trying to remain cool about the awkward, intimate situation. "Morning."

"Feeling better?" Freddie asked.

"Uh, yeah. What time is it?" She was still weary.

Freddie checked the time, "It's 7:13"

Sam's eyes almost bulged out of her skull. "It's so early! Why are you awake?"

"I'm an early riser." Freddie said smiling.

"Eww, why?"

Freddie simply chuckled at her disgusted expression. "You can go back to sleep, if you want."

Sam didn't say anything she just looked at him. She was unsure if he meant to go back to sleep with him on the sofa or just in general. "Nah, I'm good."

Freddie frowned. "Oh. Okay well I should probably get home then." He began to sit up and stretch.

Sam scooted over to give him room. "Yeah, Crazy is probably worried sick." She smiled at him.

He smiled back. They were sitting next to each other. "Freddie…" "Sam…" They both said at the same time and turned to look at each other.

They laughed. "Go first." Freddie offered.

"You sure?" Sam asked.

Freddie nodded.

Sam hesitated for a moment. "Thank you."

Freddie nodded again. "It's the least I could do." He knew that she was thanking him for last night.

"Yeah… so I guess I'll see ya later?" It was meant as a statement but came out more like a question.

"More than likely." He stood up, he was trying to find ways to stall. He didn't want to leave just yet, he wanted to talk to her more, he wanted to talk about them.

"Cool. I'm gonna head upstairs," she signaled with her thumbs, "See ya later." She began to moving towards the stairs.

Freddie went into panic mode, she wasn't supposed to walk away. They needed to talk, she needed to hear what he had to say. "Sam, wait!"

She turned around and before she could ask "What?" Freddie rushed towards her and pressed his lips against hers without any thought. It happened so quickly it took Sam a moment to realize what was happening. Freddie wrapped his hands around her waist pulling her closer. Sam felt like her body was on fire. Freddie broke the kiss first but still held on to her, Sam's hands rested on his chest. She could feel his heart thumping loudly in his chest. They gazed into each other's eyes mesmerized. She couldn't believe that had just happened.

"I just want you to know that I'm not giving up." He let go of her waist and walked backwards towards the door, never breaking eye contact with her. He reached the door and quietly closed it behind him.

Sam stood motionless, her eyes still fixed on the door. She was trying to remember how to breathe. Her lips tingled, heart fluttered and butterflies swarmed her stomach. She brought her hand up to her lips and smiled. This boy was going to be the end of her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ahhh! Finally some Seddie action! I don't have much to say about this chapter I don't think it needs any explanations.**

**Read & Review =]**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Okay, so this chapter is where it starts to get rated M... Although I don't think it's so bad but just in case I've warned ya!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly =[  
><strong>

**Chapter 11: Disclosed Desires**

Freddie entered Carly's apartment just like he always had, he put his book bag down. He looked at Sam who was lazily slouched on the couch watching television, he smiled at the sight of her. He looked up towards the kitchen where Spencer sat, "Hey Spence…" He was interrupted by the sight of Spencer screwing screws into Styrofoam balls with a screwdriver. "Sculpture?" He assumed.

"Yeah, it's my new creation." Spencer replied excitedly.

Freddie raised his eyebrows and nodded before turning his attention back to Sam. He sat down next to her nudging her in the process, she didn't bother nudging him back or complaining to give her some room. "Does he know he can just push the screws—"

"Leeeave it." Sam droned.

Freddie lightly chuckled and turned to look at Sam. "So, I've been thinking—"

"Oooh that's a first." Sam sarcastically added never taking her eyes off the screen.

Freddie snorted. "Ha, ha. Cute, Puckett. Anyway as I was saying I've been thinking that we should go on a date."

Sam's heart constricted. _Whoa, didn't see that one coming._ "Pfft. Yeah that'll happen."

Freddie stared at her with indignation. "Why not?"

Sam turned to look at him with a bored expression, "Well there are about a dozen reasons but I only need one."

His face fell, "Why because of," he turned to make sure Spencer wasn't listening, "Carly thing?"

"Not entirely but that's part of it." She offhandedly threw out.

"Man, that painting in restroom is awesome!" Jayden exclaimed walking out of the restroom.

Freddie's face went sour at the sound of that voice.

"I know right!" Sam added looking up behind her.

Freddie shot her a scowl. _How dare she bring him here!_

"Thanks, that was actually one of my first art works." Spencer said to Jayden.

He shot Spencer a scowl too. _He was surrounded by traitors!_ Jayden walked to the kitchen and sat down helping Spencer.

"What's _he_ doing here?" He harsh-whispered.

"He wanted to hang out and I didn't feel like leaving so… here he is."

Sam's extreme indifference was infuriating. "Oh, how nice of him."

In that moment Carly barged in carrying four smoothies. "A little help here, people."

Sam stood up and took two smoothies from her, they both walked over to the counter to set them down. Sam handed one to Jayden while Carly handed one to Spencer.

"Sorry Freddie. I didn't know you were going to be here." Carly apologized.

"Yeah, you and everyone else." He mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Sam asked aware that he was bothered.

"I said its fine, I didn't want one anyway." He grabbed the remote and started flipping through channels annoyed.

Sam was going to call him a big baby when she caught Jayden's eyes. He was discreetly signaling in Freddie's direction with his eyes. Sam narrowed her eyes confused and mouthed "What?" Jayden cocked his head pointing in Freddie's direction then held up his smoothie and mouthed "Go!" Sam finally caught on and mouthed "Ohhh" in comprehension and then shook her head no. Jayden silently sighed in exasperation before narrowing his eyes angrily at her.

"Fine!" Sam said out loud. Everyone turned to look at her in confusion. "Fine… I'll share my smoothie with you, nub." She quickly covered. Everyone's confused expression turn to pure shock.

"Really?" Freddie asked more confused and shocked than anyone.

Sam exhaled her discomfort. "Yes, since you're gonna cry about it." She said walking back to her previous position on the sofa. "Here." She handed him her smoothie.

Freddie simply smiled at her in complete awe which only made her feel that much more uncomfortable. "Gimme that!" She snatched the remote from Freddie in order to focus on anything but the incredibly irritating, sweet gaze he wore, the stupid, sappy smile on Carly and the sad eyes and smile painted on Jayden.

* * *

><p><strong>Two hours and a smoothie later…<strong>

"And this is Sam's remote which controls all the sounds." Carly said to Jayden who nodded in appreciation. "Well that completes the tour." She said a little nervous.

"Cool, this is a pretty nice set up you guys have here." Jayden said looking around the iCarly studio.

"Well we try." Carly giggled.

Jayden awkwardly smiled at her.

…

"So, should we expect to have him around more often?" Freddie asked pointing in Jayden and Carly's direction.

"What's your deal with him?" Sam asked.

"Nothing. He just, he seems like… like a bad influence is all." He turned his eyes to his laptop, pretending to work on some techie thing.

"Bad influence? That's what you're going with?" Sam raised her eyebrows incredulously.

"Hey, I'm just looking out for you." Freddie raised his hands innocently.

"Riiight."

"What? You don't believe me? !" Freddie asked offended.

"I didn't say that." Sam coolly replied.

"But that's what you implied with your 'riiight'." Freddie mocked.

Sam held back a chuckle, "Not at all."

"Fine." Freddie tried to sound aloof and failed miserably.

"Fine." Sam said stifling a smile.

"Fine." Freddie said more forcefully.

"Fine." Sam couldn't help but find his behavior endearing. She just watched him and an unbelievably urge to kiss him soared inside her. _Keep it together, Puckett! Since when do you have urges to jump this tech geek?_ She talked herself down.

Freddie must've caught the glint of desire in Sam's eyes because in a flash the anger from his eyes was replaced by desire, too. Sam saw Freddie's eyes gloss over and panicked, she tried to snap out of if but it was like she was in trance. She was so enthralled in the moment that she was completely oblivious to the fact that Carly and Jayden were still in the room. She could feel herself gravitate towards Freddie. Just then the siren on the car prop went off. Sam's lids fluttered and she stepped back. Freddie shook his head and turned glaring at Carly and Jayden.

"Sorry! I just wanted to show Jayden that the sirens work."

"It's fine. Hey, you ready to go?" Sam said to Carly and then directed her question to Jayden.

"Uh yeah. Let's go." Jayden leaped off the car.

"Wait, you're leaving?" Freddie looked at Sam with disbelief.

"I need to get home." Sam felt pressured about not disappointing Freddie, he didn't seem like he was going to cave.

"Okay, well I'll take you home then. I can borrow my mom's car." Freddie's eyes were burning holes through her, he was fervent.

Sam looked to Carly and Jayden for help but they just stood there silent not knowing what the hell to do either.

Freddie glanced at them and then set his eyes back on Sam. "Yes?"

Sam let out a nervous laugh, "Dude, stop it."

"I'm not taking no for an answer, Sam. It's just a ride home, that's it." Freddie explained.

"I know! But Jay and I already had an understanding that he was taking me home and I don't want to be rude." Sam feared being alone with Freddie right now and was desperately seeking an excuse no matter how lame.

"He's okay with it, aren't you?" Freddie said turning to Jayden.

"Umm, I'm cool with it if she's cool with it." Jayden said trying to stay out of it.

"See." Freddie smiled at Sam, "He's fine with it."

Sam glared at Freddie. She was pissed. How dare he pull a stunt like this on her? How dare he back her into a wall? ! "Whatever, let's just fucking go. Bye Carls, Bye Jay." She stormed out the studio not waiting for Freddie or responses.

* * *

><p>Freddie had to practically run to catch up to Sam who was already reaching the parking lot.<p>

"Sam! Hold up!" Freddie shouted after her.

Sam ignored him and kept walking, she was fuming. She reached his mom's car and waited for him. About 30 seconds later he approached the car. He could tell that she was upset so decided not to say anything until they were on the road and there was no way she could run off, instead he simply unlocked the door for her. He walked around the driver's side and noticed she hadn't unlocked the door for him when he pulled the handle. _Gee, this'll be pleasant. Maybe I didn't think this through well enough… fuck it you're in it now._ He unlocked the door and slid into the driver's seat. He turned the ignition and they were off. There was tension in the car and Freddie couldn't think of what to say, back at the studio he knew he wanted to say so much to her but now he just didn't think it was a good idea.

"Want some music?" He asked turning the dial on the radio.

Silence.

Sam stared out the window lost in her thoughts and stewing in her rage.

"Look, I'm sorry. There's just—"

Sam turned up the radio purposely shutting Freddie up.

"Alright! That's it!" Freddie turned off the radio. "Okay, you're mad at me I get it, but I wasn't ready for you to leave just yet. I wanted to talk to you, just be around you a little longer, you can't hold that against me!"

"You humiliated me!" Sam shouted.

"What? ! How? ! By offering to drive you home instead?" Freddie shouted back.

"No! By insisting that I go with you and not respecting the fact that I didn't want to in the first place! You put me on the spot and forced me to agree!" By the time the words exited her mouth she realized that maybe she had been too harsh.

Freddie was stunned. He didn't know what to say. Each word out of her mouth was a blow to his heart. "Sorry you feel that way." He continued driving silently.

Sam felt terrible. "Freddie…" She looked at him expectantly.

"It's fine, Sam. Let's just drop it." Freddie's tone was monotone.

"No! See this is our problem. All we ever do is fight!" Sam slapped her hands on her thighs for emphasis.

"Not all the time." Freddie said and did a double take trying to understand what the hell she was doing.

Sam stopped jerking around and gave him an 'are you fucking kidding me look'.

"Okay so maybe we do. So what? This is what we do Sam! You and me we fight that's what we're good at. We fight and then we move on. I tease you and you tease me. That's how we express ourselves, that's how we work!" Freddie defended.

"Only cause something works doesn't mean that's the way it should be." Sam turned away.

Freddie turned to look at her, she looked defeated even hiding her face from him. He decided to pull over.

"What are you doing?" Sam looked around to see where exactly they were. She recognized the street they were a few blocks from her house.

"I can't talk and drive at the same time and we clearly need to talk." He turned off the car and settled into the seat.

Sam groaned. "You're such a girl you know that?"

Freddie ignored her insult. "Go on a date with me."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Way to stay on topic, nub."

"Why won't you go on a date with me?" He sincerely asked.

"I already told you." She exhaled in frustration.

"Okay, but answer me one thing?" He maneuvered his body in her direction.

She waved her hand signaling him to go on.

"What happened in the studio?" The moment they shared had been picking away at his brain.

All the blood drained from Sam's face. She twiddled her fingers and then turned the radio back on before replying. "What do you mean?" She played dumb.

"_Satellite" by The Kills is playing on the radio._

"You know what I'm talking about, Sam." He scooted closer anticipating her answer. The memory of it made him crave her. Freddie wanted to just pull her close and kiss her, touch her… his imagination was getting the best of him and he tried to shake the lust from his mind. All his blood was rushing below the belt.

Sam watched him fidget uncomfortably. The memory of the desire in his eyes was doing things to her she never felt before. To see how much he craved _her_. "If you know then why ask?" The words were a little more breathy than she meant to and Freddie was almost certain it meant something else, in his lust filled mind it translated to "if you want me then take me."

They stared at each other. There was complete silence all that could be heard were each other's uneven breaths and the radio. In a blink of an eye they lunged at each other. Their mouths met in an eager, desperate kiss. Sam ran her fingers through Freddie's hair and tugged at the ends to pull him closer. Freddie complied and deepened the kiss by opening his mouth wider, his hands roamed her back and squeezed handfuls of her skin, he wanted her so badly. They didn't bother to slowly explore each other's mouths, they dived right in and their tongues massaged roughly against each other wrestling for dominance. The feeling of Freddie's tongue and hands shot tingles through Sam's body that settled in between her legs. Freddie dragged his lips down her jaw to her neck, fervently wanting to taste her. Sam let out a moan and tried to scoot closer but the center console was in her way, _Damn this fucking thing!_ She let out a frustrated pant and could feel Freddie's smirk against her skin and for some odd reason it turned her on even more. He didn't say a word he spoke with his body. Freddie continued nipping, kissing and licking at Sam's exposed neck while he grabbed her waist and lifted her to him. She caught on quickly and didn't hesitate to jump over the center console and straddle Freddie. Their mouths met once again and their bodies were pressed flushed against each other. Sam could feel Freddie's hardness through his jeans and it brought out her carnal instincts so much so that she involuntarily grinded against him. The feeling of the pressure Sam's body put on him caused a deep groan to escape Freddie's lips that only encouraged Sam more. Sam hugged Freddie's head as he kissed and sucked on her collarbone.

"God that feels so good." She said breathless into Freddie's ear which drove him crazy.

Freddie gripped Sam's waist moving her body over his while Sam sucked on his earlobe. Everything felt so amazing, so perfect, so **right. **He moved forward pushing Sam against the steering wheel completely lost in her, he pressed her hard that the car's horn went off breaking them both out of their overly charged, sexed up spell.

"Oh, fuck!" Freddie pulled Sam back and looked around to make sure it hadn't disturbed anyone.

Sam held on to Freddie's shoulders staring at him in awe.

"What?" Freddie was curious as to why she was looking at him like that.

"You said 'fuck'. You cursed!" A bright smile was plastered on her face, she was thoroughly amused and impressed.

Freddie gave her his signature side smirk. "You're nuts, you know that?"

She laughed lightheartedly. "So I've been told." Sam said as she climbed off Freddie, over the center console and back into her previous seat.

Neither of them spoke about what had just happened like there was some sort of silent agreement to just keep things light. They didn't want to tarnish it by discussing it, they were just going to enjoy it… at least for now. Sam couldn't have had it any other way.

"How bout that ride home?" Sam cut through Freddie's daydream.

Freddie laughed, "Oh right, right." He turned the car on and drove off.

They reached Sam's home in less than ten minutes. The car ride was spent in a comfortable silence. Traces of the previous tension long gone, all that remained was the magical haze of satisfaction and bliss.

Freddie pulled into her driveway, "Well here we are."

Sam's eyes darted around, "Yep."

After everything that happened NOW they decide to be awkward.

"I should probably get going" Sam opened the passenger door.

"Oh! I'll walk you." Freddie offered.

"You don't have to do that." Sam had never actually been walked to her door before, she felt like such a girl, it was strangely nice.

"I want to." Freddie tenderly smiled.

"Okay…"

They began to walk down the driveway towards the front door. Neither knew what to say. Occasionally they'd glance at each other and then smile awkwardly before looking away.

"Well here we are… again." Sam said breaking the ice. She didn't know what to do. Was she supposed to kiss him goodnight? Or was she supposed to just go inside? She had no fucking idea.

"Yeah…" Freddie stood in front of Sam also unsure on what the hell the protocol was for a situation like this.

Sam looked at him and laughed. His hair was sticking out from all the tugging and pulling she had done.

"What?" Freddie asked confused.

"Your hair is all janked." She reached out to pat it down.

Freddie laughed. The uneasiness had been diffused. He felt more confident. "Alright, I'm gonna get going. I'll see you tomorrow." He leaned in and placed a simple, chaste kiss upon her lips. "Goodnight."

"Night." She smiled and walked into her house.

Freddie began walking back to his car with the biggest, goofiest grin on his face. That girl was going to be the end of him.

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><p><strong>AN: Woooo hot seddie action! Okay so you know what to do... but in case you've forgotten I'll remind ya**

**Read and Review!**

**=]**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: It's been about a week since I've updated and don't worry I have not been neglecting this story at all. I did however start school again so blame that for my delay. So I'll probably dish out a chapter a week if I'm not swamped with homework, but enough with my excuses have you seen the new promos for the upcoming episode and season? ! I am super excited!  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: No, no, no! iCarly is still not mine.  
><strong>

**Chapter 12: Conversations on Stairwells**

Sam sat at the counter aimlessly surfing the web and devouring a double ham sandwich. She had tried to make sense of the last night's events and the more she thought about it the less sense it made but the more right it felt. Yes, everything was still not fully resolved but she was tired of it all. She was tired of thinking, talking, analyzing, all which required loads of effort. Sam had come to the conclusion that she was done trying to resolve things. She was always better at acting than thinking, so that's exactly what she was going to do. Act on impulse like she always had. Those were the simpler days because all this this thinking about talking things out wasn't doing anything except give her a headache. There was an irritating voice in the dark corners of her mind trying to speak up but she told it to fuck off and that was the end of that. Sam continued to browse around SplashFace randomly clicking on videos that appeared interesting and eating her delicious sandwich. The door to the apartment opened and Freddie walked in.

"Hey," he greeted and noticed the empty apartment, "Where's everyone?"

Sam remained fixed on the screen. "I dunno. Not here."

Freddie stopped in his tracks trying to understand Sam's words then nodded in understanding, "Ah, broke in."

Sam simply waved her hand in confirmation. A mischievous idea popped into Freddie's mind at the thought of being completely alone with Sam. He casually walked up to her and threw his arm around her shoulders, "Whatcha looking at?"

Sam tensed up on contact but tried to play it off. "Hands off." She warned.

Her threatening tone made Freddie smirk and somehow fueled his nerve. He leaned in and whispered into her ear. "You weren't complaining last night." As he said this, Freddie dragged his hand from her shoulder down her back, finally resting it on the small of her back.

Sam's cheeks instantly turned beet red. _Did he really just say that to me? Oh, god that was so hot. No, wait! Is HE teasing ME? _She could feel the trail of goose bumps his fingertips left as he dragged them down her back and a surge of electricity where his hand rested. _ Two can play that game._ In a throaty, breathy voice she said, "Benson…" Freddie instantly perked up at the sound of her voice. Then without missing a beat she menacingly warned, "Unless you want to lose the arm I suggest you move it!"

Freddie chuckled at her aggressiveness and did as he was told. He sat back in the stool leaning against the counter, looking all too confident. Sam noticed this and it drove her nuts! Who did this nub think he was?

She turned her body to face him with narrowed eyes and her signature smartass smirk. She scoffed, "Are you flirting with me?"

Freddie coolly shrugged as if saying "maybe."

Sam raised her eyebrows. It was unbelievable! The nub was actually doing this. Where he had gotten the courage was beyond her but as much as she wanted to hate it, she found it extremely hot. She nodded in acknowledgement and decided to mess with him just like he had done. She leaped off the stool but purposely placed her hand on his thigh for 'balance.' It was Freddie's turn to tense up. The feel of her warm hand shot up to his crotch. Sam gave a little squeeze before whispering, "Down boy." Freddie couldn't help but blush red. Sam didn't bother holding in her laugh as she sauntered up the stairs, never looking back at a very stunned Freddie. _Too easy._

It took Freddie a few seconds after Sam was gone to snap out of what had just happened. He then jumped off the stool and ran up the stairs. As he approached the third floor he slowed his pace in hopes of keeping some of his dignity. He stopped at the bottom of the last staircase and saw Sam leaning against the door to the hall that led to the studio. Freddie wondered what she was waiting for.

Sam wore a bored expression while she leaned against the door, pretending to examine her nails. "Took you long enough."

That was the only cue Freddie needed. He took two steps at a time quickly reaching Sam. In one swift move he lifted her and pinned her against the wall as he kissed her hard. Sam wasted no time and instantly wrapped her legs around his waist and granted him entrance into her mouth.

Sam and Freddie always had a very physical relationship whether she was causing him bodily harm, standing/sitting next to each other, playing their silly games, whatever the case they always managed to have contact. So it didn't surprise Sam that they could now not keep their hands off each other because honestly they never really could. Freddie had no objections, he reveled in the feeling of being able to touch and kiss her.

Freddie instinctively pushed against her causing Sam to tug harder on his hair to bring him closer because despite having no distance between them, 'close' was not close enough. A breathy moan escaped her lips as Freddie's mouth began to explore down her jaw to her neck. He wanted to savor her taste and gently swiveled his tongue and sucked on her neck.

"No hickies…" Sam was barely able to say through her pleasure.

"I wasn't going to." Freddie mumbled against her skin.

"Well just in case." Sam pulled his face back to her and penetrated his mouth with her tongue once more. Freddie was a little confused by her statement and pulled away. He felt Sam's teeth graze his bottom lip before giving him a puzzled look.

"Just in case? Well why can't I?" Freddie questioned.

Sam raised her eyebrows, "Would you want one?"

Freddie thought about it for a second, of course he wouldn't his mom would freak and people would interrogate him. "Good point." He stated before attacking her lips once again.

Their kisses had become heated and Sam gyrated against Freddie every time he pushed up against her. She could feel his hardness and her mind wandered into the realm of sex. This moment right now she was so turned on, she wanted it.

"For the hundredth time Spencer the scissors are in the top drawer next to duct tape!" Carly shouted. Her voice quickly broke through Sam's fantasy. Carly could be heard coming up the stairs.

"Oh fuck!" Sam whisper-shouted. They quickly separated and Freddie put Sam down.

"What do we do?" Freddie asked panicked.

"Come on!" Sam grabbed Freddie's hand and hastily pulled him down the hall into the studio. "Come here!" She patted down Freddie's messy hair and fixed his collar. "Okay, just pretend you're doing something nerdy like always. Do I look fine?" She asked him.

"Uh… no come here." She stepped closer and he abruptly stole a kiss.

"What the hell? !" She pulled back surprised.

Freddie chuckled. "I'm just kidding here." He fixed her hair. "There. You're good to go."

Sam ran over and jumped onto a bean bag and took out her phone in attempt to look normal.

"Sam!" Freddie whisper-shouted at her, Sam turned giving him a 'what?' look. "What am I supposed to do about this? !" He signaled down to the bulge in his pants.

Sam's eyes traveled to where he was indicating and held back a laugh. "You're on your own, Benson."

Freddie shot her a look of disbelief. "What? ! This is your fault, Puckett!"

Sam rolled her eyes and then smirked. "Just think of something boring, that shouldn't be too hard for you. Oooh I got it." Freddie looked at her eagerly waiting for her solution. "Think about your mom."

Freddie's eyes went wide and his face twisted in disgust. Sam let out her usual smart-ass laugh and turned away.

The door to the studio opened, "What are you guys doing here?" Carly asked looking at Sam and Freddie.

Freddie simply pointed in Sam's direction.

Sam didn't look away from her phone. "You weren't home." As if that justified her breaking and entering.

Carly nodded giving in. "Well come downstairs we brought pizza." She said and exited the studio completely forgetting why she'd come upstairs for.

Sam shot up soon as she heard there was pizza. She began walking towards the door, "You coming, Benson?" She paused when he didn't respond and turned to notice the look on Freddie's face.

Freddie stood silently with his eyes closed and a look of deep concentration. Sam was about to shake him out of it when he spoke. "Okay, I'm ready."

Sam realized what he was doing and laughed. "Thinking 'bout your mom, eh?"

Freddie narrowed his eyes at her. "Let's just go!" Sam walked out the studio laughing with a scowling Freddie right behind her.

They reached the living room at the same time. "So where's the pizza?" Sam instantly asked.

"Right here." Carly answered standing in front of the kitchen table. "Come get some." She offered holding up paper plates.

"You guys rented movies?" Freddie asked Spencer in the living room.

"Did you forget it was movie night? !" Carly jumped in. Freddie turned to look at her with wide eyes unable to deny it.

"You can't blame the nub, Carls, he never knows what's going on." Sam cut in. She glanced at Freddie and smirked.

He smiled at her, _did she just defend me? _Freddie felt a warm, glowing sensation in his chest at the thought.

"So what are we watching?" She plopped down on the couch.

"Ugghh, not Super-Secret Ninja Assassin that's for sure!" Spencer shot a glare at Carly.

"Hey! You've seen that like 100 times, besides it's my night to pick!" Carly retorted pointing her chin up and crossing her arms.

Sam and Freddie glanced at each other and then shrugged. "Oookay, so I ask again, what are we watching?" Sam demanded.

Carly smiled wide and perked up. She reached into the plastic bag and pulled out the movie hugging it to her chest. "Something Borrowed!" She happily squealed. Groans and eye rolls came from everyone. "Don't be mean! It's my night. I watched your movie picks!" She pointed at all of them.

"Yeah, but our choices are awesome." Spencer replied still sulky that they weren't watching his movie.

Sam nodded in agreement. "So very true."

Carly rolled her eyes.

"Alright, alright. Let's drop it. Carly's right it is her night so let's just watch the movie." Freddie added. Sam turned to look at him and he looked at her but before he could ask 'what?' she had turned her attention back to her pizza.

"Thank you, Freddie." Carly responded and went on to put the DVD on.

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><p><strong>Later that night…<strong>

After the movie was over Sam couldn't help but think about how some parts related to her life. She wondered what would happen if Freddie realized that she wasn't right for him and was indeed in love with Carly. What if things between her and Freddie went sour and they stopped being friends? She tried really hard to push those thoughts away along with the others. Don't think, DO! She reminded herself. It was official Carly had the worst taste in movies!

"You're pretty quiet, kid." Spencer nudged Sam.

"Huh? Oh no I'm just trying to wake myself up after sitting through that!" She pointed at the television.

Spencer chuckled. "The upside is that her pick is over." They both laughed.

"Hey! I thought it was sweet! I just wish it hadn't ruined their friendship." Carly sighed.

"That guy was an idiot!" Freddie threw in as he stood up. Everyone turned to look at him with surprised/curious expressions. "What?" He asked confused. They all kept looking at him waiting for him to elaborate. "He was! How the hell is he going to like one girl then accept a date with the other and eventually propose and THEN hook up with the best friend while he's still engaged? He couldn't even make up his mind, like a coward. You know who deserved the brunette the guy best friend, he was always there for her… not that cheating douchebag." Everyone wore stunned expressions.

"But she didn't love him! It figures you'd say that since you ARE the guy best friend." Carly replied in defense of her movie pick and also stood up from the couch.

Sam got up as well. "Ah, don't be so sure. He could easily be the idiot." Sam added purposely locking eyes with Freddie.

"What? !" Freddie shouted in disbelief.

Spencer looked between the three teens and back again. He was confused, "Did I miss something?"

"No."

"No."

"Nope."

"Well okay then." Spencer said as he slowly stood up from the couch to distance himself from the crossfire zone.

"How am I the idiot?" Freddie directed his question to Sam. He was upset that she related him to such a character.

"How are you not?" Sam retorted in her signature bored, expressionless face.

Carly noticed the tension between the two and instantly regretted having said anything. "Guys, it's just a stupid movie."

Sam shrugged, "I guess."

"No! I want to know what hell you meant!" He was obviously upset.

Sam let out a small, sarcastic laugh. "I'm sure you can figure it out. You're a smart boy." Then she plopped back down on the couch, dismissing the conversation.

"Typical." He scoffed. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." Freddie said to Spencer and Carly then looked at Sam debating if he should say something but opted to just leave instead.

Sam kept her eyes forward as Freddie walked out of the apartment. Why did she always do that? She realized she could've easily averted that disaster and instead kept going. She was so damn good at ruining things.

Carly gave silent signals to Spencer to leave. "Oh I'm gonna head out, too." Spencer awkwardly said and headed out the door.

Soon as the door closed Carly turned to Sam. "What the hell was that?" She scolded.

Sam raised her eyes at her. "What?"

"Don't 'what' me!" Carly reprimanded.

"Oh come on." Sam stood up. "We both know the nub is too sensitive." She headed towards the fridge to grab a soda.

Carly followed. "Yeah, well part of your statement insulted me too."

Sam paused in front of the opened fridge. She knew that was coming.

"Do you still think that something is going on between me and Freddie?" Carly softened her tone.

Sam sighed, she was fed up with this crap. For the past two hours that movie and the stupid fight had served to pop her pretty, blissful bubble she was in and she was annoyed. "No, Carly." She turned to look at her. "I don't even care enough to think about it. What you and Freddie do or don't do, feel or don't feel doesn't mean shit to me, okay?"

Carly's eyes widened. She was offended and was at a loss for words. Sam knew that it was a little unfair but she wasn't in the mood for this and they just didn't know when to shut the hell up.

"Listen, I'm just gonna go home. Sorry, okay?" Sam said with apologetic eyes.

"Okay…" Carly softly said. "I'm sorry, too."

Sam nodded and left. Out in the hall she stared at Freddie's door contemplating to knock or not. She decided not to and proceeded to the stairs. Sam was four floors down when she ran into Freddie. She looked at him with doe eyes, "Hey…"

"Leaving?" Freddie's anger was no longer apparent. The expression he wore exuded sadness and disappointment.

"Yeah." Sam regretted snapping at him. Why did she have to be so damn hardheaded?

"You want a lift?" He sincerely offered.

His kindness broke Sam's heart. Here he was still being civil and nice even after she had been so cruel. She shook her head. "No... I'm okay. I'll walk."

"You sure? I don't mind." He searched her eyes.

"I'm sure." She gave him a sad smile.

"Okay…"

"Okay…" Sam continued to climb down the stairs.

Freddie remained in place. "Sam."

Sam turned. "Yeah?"

"Do you really think I'm that guy?" He turned to look at her.

"It's just a stupid movie." She deliberately avoided his question.

"Then why'd you say it?" The comparison had really bugged him and he couldn't ignore it.

"Why does it bother you so much?" It was typical of Sam to answer a question with a question. She was the queen of eluding.

"Cause I don't want you to think I'm that guy. I don't want to be that guy." Freddie feared being the guy who'd tear two friends apart.

"Then don't." She stated simply. Sam turned back around and continued walking down the stairs.

Freddie mentally swore he wouldn't and headed up the stairs.

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><p><strong>Read and Review!<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hi! So I'm really glad some of you enjoy the story. I'm pretty proud about it, I usually tend to get bored or quit after a page or so... not to worry though I'm actually really committed to this story, especially since there's quite a few out there who like it and the reviews only encourage me more. So thanks for all the reviews!**

**Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own iCarly.  
><strong>

**Chapter 13: Between the Lines**

"Alright, let me see if I got this right. You made out… twice," Jayden held up two fingers, "Then you picked a fight with him and now I take it you're avoiding him?" He furrowed his brows.

Sam laughed at her stupid behavior, "Yep, pretty much."

"Christ, woman! You're a hell of an enigma." Jayden only half teased.

Sam didn't want to see Freddie, yet. She wasn't completely avoiding him, he had texted her earlier and she replied like she normally would. Sam was only avoiding seeing him in person, so she had lied and said she had plans when he asked if she would be at Carly's today.

"No, he's just too nubby to figure me out." Sam lamely said in her defense.

He looked at her with an 'are you kidding me look' and shook his head. "Yeah… whatever. Well, since I wasn't aware of your visit you're gonna have to tag along with me." Jayden said walking around his room gathering clothes and towel.

"Tag along? Where are we going?" Sam whined. She was hoping to lounge around all day and eat.

Jayden chuckled. "Relax, it won't take along and we can grab lunch on the way." Sam laughed at this it was funny how everyone who knew here understood that all she needed was food to be happy. "Make yourself comfortable I'm gonna jump in the shower then we'll head out, okay?"

"Kay." Sam said without objections.

"Good, I'll be back." Jayden exited his room to go shower.

Sam scooted further back on Jayden's bed and rested her head against the wall. Her mind wandered into Freddie-land. She wondered what he was up to and if he was thinking about her. She wondered if he was over their little spat and if he had asked if she'd be at Carly's because he wanted to see her or to avoid her. If he wanted to see her would they kiss again? Oh how she wanted to kiss him. The memories of their last kiss flooded her mind, the memories were so vivid she could feel his lips on her. Sam exhaled a dreamy sigh and decided to text him.

**Sam: Sup, nub.**

She hesitated whether to send it or not. Then she mentally kicked herself in the ass as a reminder that she was Sam Puckett and not some chicken-shit, she hit send. The wait for a response felt like an eternity, seconds appeared like minutes. She was already starting her 'I told you so' speech when her phone vibrated.

**Freddie: How goes it, Puckett?**

Sam couldn't help but smile as she read the text and for a second she mocked her girly reaction to a text. _Fucking hell, look at yourself swooning over a text._ Her biggest secret had gotten out so there was no need to feel nervous, right? Then why was her first reaction always to run?

**Sam: It goes well. Whatchu doin?**

Freddie couldn't help but feel pleased that she had hit him up especially after she had told him she was going to be busy. He didn't want to fight with her on the contrary he wanted to just hang out with her not necessarily to make out although he wouldn't object, but he just wanted to spend time with her.

**Freddie: Nothin' much just installing some software into my laptop. You still busy?**

Sam laughed inwardly at his dorkiness.

**Sam: I should've guessed, tech nerd. Nah, not at this moment.**

Freddie smiled at the nickname.

**Freddie: Haha, you know I think I should come up with nicknames for you considering you have one for me for like almost any situation. Ey, do you think you'll be free later on?**

His question took her by surprise.

**Sam: Please, I'd like to see you try. Anyway, idk. Why?**

**Freddie: lol yeah, maybe not. I mean Sam-jerk wasn't exactly my greatest moment and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out later.**

Freddie's text confused Sam, _Hang out? What the hell does that mean?_

**Sam: What do you mean?**

Freddie scrunched his face in confusion. _What does she mean, what do I mean?_

**Freddie: Uhh, you know hang out like we have been doing for years now.**

Sam laughed at his smartass reply guess he wasn't all nub.

**Sam: No chizz, Freddork. I mean like where? Carly's?**

**Freddie: Well if you want but I was thinking more like for us to catch a movie or something.**

Sam's eyes went wide as soon as she read his text. She even read it again to make sure she didn't misread it. What the hell was going on?

**Sam: Are you trying to trick me into a date?**

He laughed at her assumption, well not really an assumption if she would agree he would definitely refer to it as a date… well at least until she officially agreed to go on a date.

**Freddie: Hahaha you think I'd try and trick you? Give me some credit. Well we don't have to go out we can stay in.**

**Sam: Idk you might. I mean you have been pretty sneaky lately =P Stay in? With Crazy? No thanks, besides what about Carly?**

Freddie smirked at the implications of her text. Then shook his head at the name Sam had for his mom.

**Freddie: I can say the same about you! No, not with my mom she's working tonight and as for Carly I'm sure she'll survive for a night.**

Sam tried to interpret his words. He wanted to hang with just her and she couldn't help but wonder if he just wanted to fool around, which she wasn't completely against she simply wanted to know. She decided to call him because texting wasn't cutting it she needed to hear any hints in his voice.

"Hello?" Freddie answered a little surprised as to why she suddenly called him.

"So you wanna hang out?" Sam got right to the point.

Freddie could hear the smile and suspicion in her voice. "Uh, yeah I do."

"Why?" Sam was trying to keep her tone cool but she also wanted to make him squirm and get him to admit his intentions. She was convinced that his motive was hormone fueled.

"Jeez, I can't hang out with you without reason?" He tried to sound offended.

"Well you can but I just want to know why all of sudden you want to." Sam abandoned her cool, she wanted answers and acting careless wasn't going to get the job done.

"You think it's sudden? Sam I've wanted to hang out with you for a while. It's just I didn't know how to bring it up since you always… you know bite my head off." Freddie slightly chuckled.

Sam couldn't help but laugh too. "So, just hang out? What would we do?" Yeah, she was definitely prying.

Freddie wasn't prepared for Sam's bluntness, he swallowed hard. "Um… well a movie? Or uh, anything you want to do." He stuttered.

Sam placed her hand over the phone and laughed, jeez he was indeed too easy. "Movie? Really, Benson? Because that worked out so well last time. I think we've maxed out on movies for the month."

"Well…" He paused to think, "I don't know, Sam. I just want to see you. We could just talk if you want or whatever."

It was that 'whatever' that Sam was curious about but he wasn't giving in. She sighed at his cluelessness. "Hmm, so then you're not just trying to get Mama alone to make out with her?"

Freddie choked out a cough and Sam laughed triumphantly. "NO!" He quickly defended.

Sam felt she had the upper hand and was able to relax. "Oh, so you don't wanna kiss me?" She was taunting him.

"Yes! I mean, no! Well… I do! But… ahhh!" Freddie stammered completely flustered.

"Well which is it? Yes or no?" Sam continued tormenting him. She was highly amused by how quickly he lost his composure.

He swallowed hard again and took a deep breath. "I do BUT that's not why I want to hang out." He corrected. "We could just talk if you want."

Sam groaned. "Ugh!" What was it with these people and talking all the damn time? Didn't they get tired of blabbing all the time?

"Did I leave my shirt in here?" Jayden asked walking into the room dressed only in his jeans. He had a towel around his neck and wet, tousled hair. Sam's eyes went wide at the sight. You'd have to be blind not to find Jayden attractive. Sam knew that and she certainly wasn't blind. Her eyes scanned his finely tone pecs and abs, admiring every inch.

Freddie heard and instantly recognized his voice. "You're with Jayden?"

Sam was silent completely spaced out.

"Hello?" Freddie shouted into the phone.

"Oh, what?" Sam quickly averted her eyes from Jayden's bare torso and signaled that she was on the phone, he simply nodded.

"Is that who you have plans with?" Freddie questioned.

"Um, yeah. We're doing… stuff today." Sam was aware that Freddie wasn't too fond of Jayden.

"Huh... and he lost his shirt?" He said sarcastically. Freddie saw Jayden as a threat and he couldn't help but feel jealous.

"No, look just text me okay? I'll see you later." She reassured.

"Oh! So you're saying yes?" Freddie lightened up.

Sam chuckled at his quick change in tone. "Yep, see you later."

"Great, see you later then. Bye." Freddie was grinning from ear to ear. He decided to let the Jayden thing go because tonight he was definitely going to try and cement something with Sam, something more official or at least make his intentions be known.

"Bye." Sam hung up.

Jayden laughed.

"What?" Sam asked defensively.

"Nothin' you just have that dumb, dreamy look on your face." Jayden mocked her facial expression and laughed even harder.

Sam threw a pillow at him. "Shut up and put a shirt on before I go blind."

Jayden smirked, "You seemed to like it when I walked in."

Sam blushed, "I'm not even gonna respond to that." She said through a chuckle. "That's how ridiculous it is."

Jayden nodded, "Yeah, I'm sure it is." He continued to smirk.

Sam looked at him and laughed. "Whatever!"

* * *

><p><strong>About two hours later…<strong>

_A song just ends and the sound of "C'mere" by Interpol begins to fill the car._

Jayden and Sam sat in the car at a red light. At the sound of the song Jayden began to tap his hand on the wheel to the rhythm of the music and sing along. His eyes stared off not looking at anything in particular completely lost in the song. "It's way too laaaate to be this locked inside ourselves. The trouble iiiis, that you're in love with someone elllse… It should be meeee. Oh, it should beee meeeee…." He was nodding his head to the music and when he turned to his right he noticed Sam looking at him. "What?"

Sam just raised her brows and pursed her lips together, "Nothin." She turned her eyes back to the road. "Light's green." She announced.

Jayden stared at her for a second longer hoping she'd reveal what was in that confused head of hers before stepping on the gas and continuing on their way. "Why did you give me that look?" He glanced at her quickly, trying to keep his eyes on the road. "Was it my awesome singing?" He joked and smirked.

Sam chuckled, "Yeah that was it."

Jayden laughed, "Nah, seriously though."

"It was nothing, dude. I just kinda spaced out." Sam grabbed the PearPod and began browsing through the songs. She wasn't really lying because she did space out for a second. It was just in the way he sang the words, it was like he really meant them and she couldn't help but wonder if maybe he did. _Jeez, get over yourself!_ Sam told herself.

Jayden noticed, he figured she wasn't going to say what was going through her head but that didn't mean he was going to let her off the hook that easily. "Hmm, just how you 'kinda spaced out' when I walked into the room earlier?" He smugly said.

Sam laughed loudly at his brashness, "You're so full of yourself!"

Jayden couldn't help but laugh too. "Hey, I'm only stating the obvious."

"What? What's the obvious?" Sam was curious. Jayden raised his eyebrows at her indicating if she really wanted him to say it. "Yeah, well it's not like I haven't caught you staring once or twice before." Sam countered.

It was Jayden's turn to laugh out loud, "You know… I'm not even gonna deny that." He shot her a flirty grin.

Sam responded with a toothy smile then instinctively began to chew on her lip, like she did when she felt bashful and a little awkward. "I'm hungry." She randomly declared.

"Good." He said pulling into a parking lot, "Cause we're here."

Sam looked around to see where 'here' was. "Oooh, we're having B.F. Wangs?" She exclaimed excitedly.

"Yep." He turned off the car and proceeded to step out of the car, "Let's grub!"

"Let's!" Sam stepped out of the car and the two headed towards the entrance.

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile…<strong>

Freddie walked into Carly's apartment. "Hey, Spence."

"How goes it, Frederly?" Spencer welcomed standing inside a barrel.

Freddie stopped and cocked his head. "What are you doing?"

"I found this barrel at the junkyard! Isn't it awesome? !" Spencer cried enthusiastically.

Freddie raised an eyebrow, "Sure? But what are you going to do with it?

"What am I not gonna do with it!" Spencer manically yelled.

Freddie furrowed his brows, "Ooookay. Listen—"

"Carly is upstairs working on some homework." Spencer interrupted Freddie, assuming that's who he came looking for.

"Um, actually I wanted to talk to you." Freddie stated.

Spencer shuffled inside the barrel in order to face his body towards Freddie and proceeded to give him a 'talk to me' expression.

"I'm not talking to you in that thing." Freddie stated matter-of-factly while pointing at the barrel.

"Right." Spencer said realizing it was a little strange. He attempted to lift his body out with his arms but couldn't lift his body high enough. "One minute." He said sheepishly. Next, he attempted to lift his leg and managed to get his knee against the ring, "Humph!" and in a blink of an eye lost his balanced and toppled over, "Aghhh!" Then bam he hit the floor and whined as he crawled out. Spencer quickly jumped up and stood in front of Freddie, "So where were we?"

Freddie simply watched the whole spectacle go down in both confusion and amazement. "Talk." He answered Spencer's question.

"Oh, right. So what did you want to talk about?" Spencer asked as he limped backwards to sit on the couch. "Perhaps about a certain terrifying blonde?"

Freddie was taken aback and laughed nervously, "Why would you assume that?" Spencer wore a 'don't bullshit me' expression. "Okay, fine. How did you know?" Freddie was curious.

"Well little buddy it wasn't difficult to figure out, what with you two fighting more than usual, odd friendly gestures, secret glances and the most obvious reason of all… Carly told me!" A grin spread across his face.

"Ah! I should've kn— wait what secret glances?" Freddie did a double take and was completely dumbfounded.

Spencer smiled at the oblivious boy. "Oh young grasshopper, you have much to learn!" He said in old fashion type accent.

"Enlighten me." Freddie took a seat on the chair opposite to Spencer.

"You really don't know what I'm talking about?" Spencer said in a more serious tone.

Freddie shook his head. "No, what glances? I don't glance at Sam." He looked up trying to recall throwing her a "secret glance."

"How could you not be aware? Every time you think no one is looking you stare at Sam or when she says something funny even if it's about you, you look at her with affection and she does the same with you. Sometimes you guys manage to catch each other and share like this unspoken communication." Spencer spoke with awe.

Freddie was trying to absorb Spencer's words. Did some really look at him lovingly when he wasn't looking? Did he? He was aware that he sometimes did look at her but he never gave it much thought. It dawned on him that he did feel adoration when she would do something very "Sam-like" he couldn't help but find it endearing.

"Just like that!" Spencer cut through Freddie's reverie.

"Huh?" Freddie asked perplexed.

"That look you just had. That's how you look at her." Spencer began to smile like a school girl, "You were thinking about her weren't you?"

A goofy grin began to form on Freddie's face, "Yeah." He nodded bashfully. "But hold up. When did you begin to notice this? Just recently?"

Spencer chuckled, "I've noticed it for years now. Only lately it's become more prominent." He stood up and limped to the kitchen.

Freddie remained completely motionless as he recapped the last 6 years of his life coming to some interesting conclusions. "So then will you help me?" He suddenly said standing up.

"With?"

"I really care about her and I know that the only reason she keeps fighting me is to keep a distance between us, but I also know that it's becoming more and more difficult to do so." Freddie walked up to the counter. "So I need a way to express how I feel and what I want without scaring her off."

"And what is it exactly that you want?" Spencer probed with suspicion because after all Sam was like a little sister to him and he just wanted to make sure Freddie's intentions were good. He knew Freddie was a good guy but it didn't hurt to put a little scare into him.

Freddie took a step back, "Um, well I want to tell her how I feel, hope she returns them and you know date her…"

"Hmm, when you say date her…" Spencer continued to grill Freddie.

"I mean like boyfriend/girlfriend." Freddie was nervous.

"You sound a little unsure there." Spencer queried.

Freddie composed himself and turned serious. "Spence, I'm not going to hurt her. I really care about her and I just I want a chance to show her what she means to me."

Spencer smiled and patted Freddie's back. "Okay! I'll try to help but I have to warn you, getting through to Sam is not an easy feat."

"Oh that I know." Freddie's eyes went wide for emphasis. "Trust me I know."

"So when did you want to do this?" Spencer asked.

"Tonight."

Spencer's face was of pure shock. "What? !"

Freddie just nodded, "Yep, I want to tell her tonight. Nothing has to become official but I want to slowly warm her up to the idea."

Spencer cocked his head with his bottom lip protruding and index finger tapping his chin, "Hmm, that's a good idea." He looked at Freddie smiling, "I like it." He said pointing up.

"Great, so just help me find the proper way." The two sat down at the counter to ponder ways for Fredward Benson to reel Samantha Puckett in.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay so I was going to add in their 'meeting' but I much rather save it for the next chapter. I know there's some flirting going on between Jayden and Sam but not to worry it is not turning into a J/S story. Jayden just doesn't really hide his feelings and their flirting is harmless. So yeah, I had a lot more to say but can't for the life of me remember. Suggestions are welcomed.  
><strong>

**Read and Review**

**=]**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I know I haven't updated in like two weeks but school is just really kicking my ass! Anyway as a thank you for your patience this is a pretty long chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it. **

**Disclaimer: iCarly doesn't belong to me because if it did then iLove You would have ended verryyyyy differently! =[**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14: The Meeting<strong>

Jayden pulled into Bushwell Plaza's parking lot. "Here we are." He said turning to Sam. Sam simply nodded and forced a half smile. Her eyes searched the parking lot. Jayden noticed her nervous fidgeting, "Well I never thought I'd see the day."

Sam shot him a scowl, "What are you talking about?"

"You're so fuckin' nervous!" He pointed out.

"I'm not nervous! It's just a little early so I'm waiting it out." Sam turned to look out the window wondering if this was a good idea. It seemed like a good idea earlier but now it was just terrifying.

Jayden studied her and released a barely audible chuckle. "It's gonna be fine. He invited YOU, right?" Sam nodded yes. "Okay, so he obviously wants you to be here. Just try and chill out."

Sam took in a huge breath and exhaled slowly. "I don't even know why I feel like this. I've done it a million times so what the fuck, right?" She was mostly telling herself.

"Right." He tried to reassure Sam.

"Okay, I'm doing this!" She put her game face on and checked her hair and makeup. She turned to look at Jayden, "I'm ready!" She told him like if she was about to go into a football game. Sam reached for the door and just as quickly withdrew her arm.

"What now?" Jayden asked a little frustrated.

"What if his mom is there?" She gnawed on her fingernail.

"Didn't you say that she wouldn't be?" He reminded.

"Well yeah but what if there was an emergency and she stayed?" She lamely asked.

Jayden furrowed his brows together, "Okay that's it. Do you want something to take the edge off?"

Sam turned to him, "Like?" He cocked his head in response. Sam stared at him waiting for him to answer his question. She was in no mood for riddles. Jayden pulled out a joint and waved it in front of her. "Ohhh!" Sam said wide eyed, finally understanding what he meant. "Nah, that's just gonna make me more paranoid."

Jayden laughed, "You sure?"

"I'm sure." She stated.

Jayden put it away. "Alright." He turned to her gesturing for Sam to look at him. She rolled her eyes but complied. "So you're nervous... big fuckin deal. Instead try and relax. Remember he invited you over, HE did." He waited for her to nod 'yes'. "So that clearly tells you that he wants you here. Which means that he's waiting for you." Sam was about to object but he stopped her by holding his hand up to shut her up. "He IS waiting for you. Dude, there's no reason why he wouldn't. You're a blast to have around, you're unpredictable which makes each moment more exciting. You've got all these good qualities and I'm sure he sees that. So get your shit together, get out of the car and more importantly get your ass up there!"

Sam looked at him with wide eyes and mouth agape completely taken by surprise. She was about to give him a piece of her mind but couldn't help but agree that he had a point even if he did just tell her to pull her head out of her ass. "Holy crap!" She said almost laughing. "I've never seen you be so bossy and domineering," a huge smirk spread across her face. "I am fuckin' impressed!"

"Damn right, you are." He wore a sly expression.

"Alright, well I guess I should get going before you backhand me or something." She teased. Sam opened the door and stepped out, she peered inside the car. Jayden noticed that she was still a little nervous but she was trying to blow it off.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Fuck everything else and just have fun." He winked.

Sam smiled as her cheeks blushed a rosy pink. "See ya later."

"Bye." Jayden began pulling out and Sam waved and waited until he was out of the parking lot before heading towards the lobby.

"Let's do this."

…

…

…

Sam was standing in front of Freddie's apartment It was a strange feeling being in the familiar hallway facing the opposite door. For years her destination was Carly's apartment. It was her only reason for coming to Bushwell Plaza but now she found herself facing the opposite direction and coming to see Freddie, funny how things change. She couldn't help but feel guilty about being there without Carly's knowledge. Sam made a promise to call Carly that night.

Knock, knock.

She leaned on her left leg and impatiently tapped her right foot. A whole minute past and Sam was ready to turn around chastising herself for agreeing to come, when the door swung open. "Welcome, Puckett!" An unmistakably happy Freddie stood at the doorway.

Suddenly all of Sam's previous nerves vanished into nonexistence. "Sup, Freduardo. You just gonna stand there or are you gonna let me in?"

"Oh! Come in." He stepped to the side and Sam walked in. "I was starting to think you weren't gonna show." Freddie said as he shut the door.

Sam looked around his living room. She had been here before but never under these circumstances and definitely not alone. She eyed a picture and ran her finger down the side of the frame. "I almost didn't." Sam replied without bothering to look up.

Freddie walked up next to her and looked down at the picture that had her so captivated. "That's my dad. The last family portrait we took before he... well you know."

Sam kept her eyes fixed on the portrait. "How old were you?"

"Hmm, I think I was 5."

"Do you remember him?" Freddie stared at her. He'd never seen her so pensive nor had she ever asked him about his dad. In fact they never touched that topic. All she knew was that his dad had died when he was young and all he knew was that her dad ran out on her family.

"Not really."

"Yeah, me either." She tore her eyes away and set them on Freddie, "So, what's the plan?"

Freddie watched Sam's expression instantly change to her usual nonchalant expression but for a split second he could've sworn he saw a hint of sadness. He quickly debated whether to ask her about it but changed his mind. "Well, did you eat yet?"

"Not since 4." She responded walking towards the kitchen.

Freddie shook his head and smiled, "So I take it you're hungry?"

She turned back and shot him an incredulous look.

He raised his hands like 'not it.' "Alright alright. I'll fix us something to eat."

She took a seat at the dining table. She propped her elbow and rested her head on her palm. Sam watched Freddie ruffle through his fridge.

"Pizza?" He asked holding a frozen meat lovers pizza up.

She nodded enthusiastically, "Sounds good, but what are you gonna eat?" A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth at the questioning expression plastered on Freddie. "I'm just messin' with ya!" She laughed and shook her head, "I can't believe you thought I was serious."

Freddie was laughing too, "Well, I wouldn't put it past you."

Sam shrugged, "Well... yeah." She nodded in agreement. "Put that baby in the oven!"

He placed the pizza on the counter and began opening the box. "So what'd you do today?"

"Not much. Just hung out mostly." Sam said as she stood up and walked around to his fridge.

"Oh, anything fun?" He said cutting into the pizza wrapping.

Sam pulled out a glass jug of lemon iced tea. "Um... well we drove around a lot..." She reached into the cupboard and turned to Freddie, "Want some?" She pointed to the iced tea, Freddie nodded. She reached for a second glass, "So anyway, mostly drove around, chilled at his uncle's garage. It's a pretty cool place, not your typical greasy garage." She put the glasses down and poured some iced tea into them. "Then we went to eat," she picked up the two glasses, "And now I'm here." She handed a glass of iced tea to Freddie.

Freddie grabbed the iced tea and took a sip before placing it down on the counter. "So... you and Jayden good friends now?" He didn't look at her instead he focused on placing the pizza on tray and turning the oven to 350 degrees.

Sam leaned against the counter to face Freddie, iced tea still in hand. "I guess so, yeah."

Freddie closed the oven and turned to her, "So, I know you guys had the same parole officer or whatever, but I don't get how quickly you became good 'friends'." He knew he didn't have a right to be jealous but dammit he did. Their relationship used to be so effortless and he couldn't help but feel threatened.

Sam rolled he eyes. "It's not like it sprouted out of thin air. I've known him, granted I didn't hang out a lot because we sorta drifted but I could easily say we were friends before now. Plus sometimes they'd make us have these mandatory group sessions and well people reveal stuff and it bonds you." Having said that she made her way back to the living room.

"Wait, what do you mean reveal stuff?" He asked as he followed her.

"I mean just that." She plopped down on the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table. She turned to look at him, "Benson, before you start bombarding me with your nubby questions let me just stop you there. I don't feel like talking about Jayden, in fact I don't feel like talking about anything. I just want to eat, hang out, make it like it used to be. Okay? Let's just enjoy ourselves, haven't we done enough yammerin' the last couple weeks? I for one can do with a little silence or mindless chatter. As a matter of fact today we don't talk about anything..." She paused to form air quotes, "important," Sam took her feet down and stood up grabbing Freddie by the shoulders and shaking him a little, "Okay?"

Great, now how was he suppose to tell her how he felt? He was ready to make his move and she had thrown an unseen curve ball at him. Sam's shake broke him from his thoughts. "Uh, yeah. Sure whatever you want."

"Good." She let herself fall back to her previous position on the couch. "So, I ask again what's the plan? Because I know you printed some kind of itinerary." She smirked her teasing smirk.

Freddie turned his eyes upwards before fixing them on Sam. "Real funny, Puckett."

Sam shrugged, "I try." She shot him a wide smile. "But seriously, let's see it."

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Sam! I'm not that..." She cocked her head and practically dared him to finish that sentence. "Fine! But I didn't print anything out. It's all up here." He pointed to his head.

"Well let's hear it, nub." Sam took a huge gulp from her iced tea.

Freddie hesitated, he quickly had to re-plan since he had to temporarily remove "Operation: Get Sam" an idea suddenly struck his nerdy brain. "Well... I was thinking that we could start with a little lesson..." Sam instantly rolled her eyes, "before you start objecting let me finish." She gestured for him to get on with it. "Since you thought ciabatta was a Galaxy Wars character, I'm going to school you in all things Galaxy Wars starting with the first movie." He smiled proudly.

Sam's jaw all but dropped. "You're fuckin' kidding me right?"

"What?" He asked confused. "I thought you'd like to, especially since you sometimes ask questions."

"Yeah! I ask questions in order to try and understand just what the hell is wrong with you." She argued.

He stared at her in disbelief, his plans were failing him and he was starting to feel like a loser. He looked away from her and shook his head, "Sorry, I thought you'd might want to. We can do something else. I'm gonna go check on the pizza." Freddie started to walk to the kitchen.

She was able to read his body language and his eyes gave him away. Sam suddenly felt guilty for making him feel embarrassed about his likes. "No..." He stopped and turned to her, she bit her lip nervously, "I want to watch it." She looked at him with doe eyes.

"You don't have t-"

"I said I want to!" She cut in, impatient as always. "It might not be so bad..." She smiled trying to liven up the mood. "Aaaand if it is at least I'll have proper ways to burn you." She beamed.

He smiled, there was the Sam he knew and loved. "Sounds fair." He tilted his head in the direction of the kitchen, "I'll check on the pizza."

"Oooh make some popcorn, too!" She shouted at him in the kitchen.

"Sure. Anything else, Princess Puckett?" He sarcastically asked.

Sam bit her lip and smiled at the sound of the nickname and let her head fall back sighing dreamily. "Bolivian bacon would be nice." She responded.

Freddie was in the kitchen placing a bag of popcorn in the microwave, he laughed at the sound of Bolivian bacon. "You're out of luck. My mom doesn't buy that fancy bacon." He kept an ear out waiting for her reply. "It's a damn shame, Benson." He smiled. Freddie found her to be extremely adorable and realized how fucked he really was.

A few minutes later pizza was done, popcorn was done, and they were ready to watch Galaxy Wars. Freddie sat at the far right of the couch using the arm rest as a makeshift table for his pizza. Sam sat near the center of the couch and had a plate piled with pizza on her lap, the bowl of popcorn sat between them.

"You ready to have your mind blown?" Freddie enthusiastically asked Sam.

She took a big bite of her meat lover's pizza and replied with her mouth full. "Bring it on, dork."

Freddie aimed the remote and pressed play.

…

…

…

Midway through the movie Sam was happily full and slouched on the couch. Surprisingly, the movie wasn't half bad and she was actually enjoying it. She glanced at Freddie from the corner of her eye and noticed he was partially slouched and leaning against the corner of the couch, completely engrossed in the movie. She then looked at the popcorn bowl and noticed it was empty, that's a good thing now she can move it so it wouldn't be in her way. She sat contemplating moving closer or just staying where she was. _Come on, Sam. I thought we were past these shenanigans!_ Her conscience said to her. _Fuck it. I'm goin' in._ Sam reached for the popcorn bowl and placed it on the table in one swift move before scooting closer to Freddie. She simultaneously grabbed his hand to place it over her shoulders and snuggled up comfortably to continue watching the movie. Freddie didn't say a word, he simply smiled. Sam interlaced her hand with the hand around her shoulders as a final touch. She couldn't help but smile as she continued watching the movie. This was the exact type of day she wanted to have. As the movie progressed she could feel Freddie draw lazy circles with his thumb against her hand. His touch sent goosebumbs over her body. She wondered if he had any idea what his touch did to her, he had to know, didn't he?

…

…

…

The movie was over and Freddie reached to turn the table side lamp on. Sam sat up and stretched. "So what did you think?" Freddie asked turning towards her.

She stared at him and tried not to smile. She hated admitting that the nub was right but her smile betrayed her before replying. "Okay you were right. It's actually pretty cool."

"Aha! See, told you." He chuckled rejoicing in the moment. He stretched out his arm wrapping it around Sam and pulling her towards him completely surprising her. "So, you finally admitted I was right about something." He teased.

Sam pulled away, "Yeah, yeah but I'm still not gonna run out and buy Galaxy Wars sheets." She teased back, an infectious smirk on her face. There eyes caught and Sam could feel her blood heat up her body. How did he do it? She felt this overwhelming sense of complete bliss. Being there with Freddie, bantering back and forth, it was perfect. She never could have imagined that she'd feel this floaty feeling... this inexplicable feeling... something she'd never truly felt before... she felt... happy, for the first time in her life she could say she was completely and utterly happy. She couldn't help but radiate all she felt, she was practically glowing. Sam broke eye contact first and stood up.

Freddie broke out of his trance, "Where you goin?"

She smiled sweetly at the confused almost puppy dog look on Freddie. He had to be feeling how she felt. The look on his face spoke volumes, he didn't want to lose this feeling either and the moment she stood up he feared he might. "I'm gotta use the restroom. That movie was like 3 hrs long."

Relief washed over his features. "Oh." he chuckled, "It's down the hall-"

"I know where it is!" Sam cut in as she walked down the hall.

Freddie simply laughed inwardly, "Course you do." He said to himself.

…

Sam walked back to the living room and sat down on the couch, her body facing his, she knew what she wanted to do but was unsure if maybe he wanted to as well and there was no way in hell she was going to make a move first, she couldn't give him two wins in one night.

Freddie stared at her he could sense her slight awkwardness and even more so her impatience. "Wanna play a game?"

What the hell? She thought. Here she was hoping to get some make out action and he wanted to play a freakin' game? She didn't bother to hide her frustration. "A game? What game? She asked slightly annoyed.

That irresistible, sideways mischievous smirk/smile formed across his lips. "This one." He reached out and grabbed her legs, wrapping his fingers around the back of her knees to pull her towards him. She let out a gasp at the sudden jolt. It was a quick, swift move. Before Sam could realized what happened she was laying on her back. Freddie leaned forward his body positioned between her legs and his hands on each side of her head hovering over her. Sam stared at him with a mixture of surprise and lust. Freddie leaned down, his lips were mere millimeters from hers. She could feel the heat radiating from his mouth but he would move forward and it was driving her fucking crazy. She wrapped her arms around his neck and moved up to press her lips against his but he pulled back.

He shook his head, "Uh, uh." It suddenly struck her, so this was the game he was referring to. "I want you to tell me what you want." Sam raised her eyebrows in defiance. "If you want it you gotta tell me." As a little incentive he pushed into her eliciting a groan from her. A sly grin quickly spread across his lips at the sound of her groan escaping her lips. He repostioned himself, he bent his arms at the elbow decreasing the distance by half. He moved down barely brushing his lips with hers then moving across her jaw to her ear. "Just tell me what you want." He whispered into her ear, his hot breath sent shivers down her spine. She knew exactly what he was doing. It was a new version of the game they've been playing for years, it was about dominance but as much as she wanted to feel his lips she could not let him win. There was no way in hell she was going to cave, but she also knew that if she was getting extremely impatient then he had to be just as desperate.

She lifted her head towards his ear, "I... I want..." The words were quaky and breathy.

All of Freddie's blood rushed out of his head and into his pants, he had actually managed to get Sam to cave and it turned him on more than anything. "Tell me what you want." He said equally breathy.

"I want you to..." She brushed her tongue against his ear lobe using it to bring it against her lips. She gently nibbled and grazed her teeth against the tender flesh. Freddie's eyes shut in absolute lust, she had turned the tables on her and he could feel his patience disappear. He was quickly losing the battle.

"Oh fuck it!" He thought out loud. Sam grinned victoriously. But didn't have time to gloat because Freddie's lips came crashing down on hers hard. He ran his tongue across her top lip begging for entrance. Sam quickly obliged. The moment their tongues made contact a guttural moan escaped both their mouths. She opened her mouth wider and he pressed harder to deepen the kiss, their tongues danced against each other. Sam took control and mildly sucked his tongue causing him to groan into her mouth and grind against her. Finally, needing oxygen Freddie broke the kiss and placed smaller kisses on the corner of her mouth down her jaw. Sam instinctively moved her head back exposing her neck. He took the bait and began kissing her neck. Alternating between sweet little pecks and nibbles. Sam's hands roamed his back feeling every dent from his muscles and back up to his hair. He began to suck at the sensitive skin of her collarbone. Freddie couldn't believe this was actually happening, he felt like the luckiest nub alive. Sam couldn't think straight all she knew was that she never wanted this moment to end, she grabbed his face and they locked eyes, both drowsy with desire. She caressed his cheek with her thumbs before pulling him forward to kiss him again and again.

…

…

…

"Here ya go." Freddie said handing Sam a water.

"Thanks." She replied taking the bottle from his hand. Her face was still flushed and she chuckled at the nickel sized red mark on Freddie's neck.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "It's not funny. You better hope my mom doesn't see it or she's gonna murder you."

"Me?" She scoffed "How would she know?"

"Because I'll tell her." He shot her a devious smirk and took a seat next to her on the couch. "If I go down, I'm taking you with me."

"Pfft! Gee what a gentleman. You wouldn't even try to defend my honor?" She raised her eyebrows awaiting his answer.

"Well if you put it THAT way."

"Thought so." She planted a quick kiss on him and then laid down to rest her head on his lap. "Let's see what's on the tube."

He smiled. This was exactly the type of effortless interaction he wanted. He picked up the remote and started flipping through channels.

"Ooh! Go back. Girly Cow is on." Sam said pointing to the television. Freddie did as she asked and the settled in to watch it.

…

…

…

Freddie opened his eyes. He looked around and noticed an infomercial on the television. _I must've fallen asleep._ He tried to move and felt weight on him, he noticed a sound asleep Sam on his lap. His mind was beginning to come out of its groggy fog and he suddenly grabbed his phone to check the time. "3:08 A.M." He said to himself. As much as he hated to have to wake Sam he knew that his mom would be home from her night shift in a little over an hour and would undoubtedly freak out. "Sam." she whispered and softly nudged her shoulder. Nothing. "Sam, wake up." He said a little more forcefully. Still nothing. Damn this girl could sleep through anything he thought. He shook her a little harder and bent down to speak directly into her ear. "Sam. Sam wake up."

She began to stir. "Mmm what?"

"We fell asleep. You gotta get up." He softly spoke.

"Mmm okay..."

Freddie studied her. Did she fall back to sleep? "Sam, come on you gotta get up."

"Benson, leave me alone." She mumbled.

"My mom's here."

Sam instantly shot up with a deer caught in the headlights look. "What?"

Freddie didn't mean to laugh but he couldn't help it. He caught the death glare Sam was giving him. "I'm sorry. It's just you weren't waking up and my mom is getting home soon."

She dropped the glare and stretched. "What time is it?"

"A little past three." He replied rotating his neck.

"Oh fuck. It's late. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I fell asleep, too!" He defended.

"Hmm. Well I better get going then." She stood up and patted down her clothes and hair.

"You can't walk home at this time." He cautioned.

"It's no biggie. I've done it bef-"

"No, Sam! You're nuts if you think I'm letting you walk home at this hour. If you want I'll walk to you home."

Sam thought about it. She didn't want him walking back alone this late at night either. "I'll just stay at Carly's. Okay?"

He stared at her. "Really?"

"Yes, nub."

He smiled. Even in the wee hours of the morning she had the energy to insult him. "Okay."

He walked her to the door and watched her break into Carly's apartment. She really wasn't like other girls and he loved it. Sam turned around after getting the door open, she didn't know what to say this was the part she hated the most because she never knew what she was suppose to do. "Well, thanks for today." _LAME, LAME!_ Sam thought.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." _Oh god, really? That's the best you could come up with? _Freddie thought.

"I should get inside. Goodnight." Sam said without moving.

"See you tomorrow?" Freddie asked.

She nodded. "Definitely."

Freddie grabbed her waist and planted a kiss. Sam brought her arms to his shoulders and deepened the kiss. It was short but sweet.

"Goodnight." Freddie said smiling.

"Night." She smiled back and right before walking inside Carly's apartment she added, "Oh, by the way... I won." She grinned and walked inside shutting the door.

Freddie was stunned. She was quite the minx he thought. He walked back into his apartment grinning like a fool, he might've not had the chance to tell her what he wanted but they had made progress nonetheless. He went to bed with a permanent smile, completely satisfied with the night's turn of events.

* * *

><p><strong>You know what to do!<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: iCarly. Not. Mine.  
><strong>

**Chapter 15: T-Shirts and Turtle Necks**

Carly pranced down the stairs in her pink bottoms and grey thermo. She walked past the couch and noticed Sam's sleeping form. She furrowed her brows in confusion, _what the hell?_ She walked next to Sam and poked her shoulder. No response. "Sam." Carly gave her a good nudge.

"Hmmm!" A cranky Sam mumbled.

"Sam, what are you doing here?" Carly asked loud enough for Sam to hear through her half asleep state.

"What's it look like? Trying to sleep!" Sam grumbled as she pulled the covers over her.

Carly simply stared at her friend's bunched up form in mild disbelief. "Well!" She turned away towards the computer on the counter, it was time to check iCarly emails.

A cheery Spencer practically skipped out into the living room. "Morning, little sist-" He paused when he noticed Sam's curled up body on the couch. "There's a Sam on my couch." He pointed.

Carly turned her attention to Spencer, "I know." She shrugged answering Spencer's unasked 'why?' question.

He raised his brows, "Right." He averted his attention to the kitchen, "What would you like for breakfast?" He clapped his hands together and rubbed them in anticipation for Carly's response.

"Umm cereal is fine." She said smiling at her brother's child like expression.

Spencer's animated expression fell into a frown, "But that's no fun!" He whined.

Carly laughed, "Fine! Then do whatever you'd like." Spencer's smile returned like a child who's just gotten his way.

"I'm making waffles!" He began to pull out the necessary ingredients and utensils. "What kind do you want? Chocolate chip? Oooh and what toppings?" He asked Carly.

She stared at him curiously, "Why are you so happy this morning?"

"I'm always happy." He replied as he sifted the flour.

"No, no. Not THIS cheery." She stared him down. "What did you do?"

Spencer put his hands up, "Nothing!"

She eyed him carefully, "Hmm, fine. But just know if you're up to something I will find out!"

He went back to making breakfast. "Fair enough, but there's nothing to find out so ha! So what do you want with your waffles?"

"Strawberry topping and whipped cream is fine." Carly responded.

"And a side of bacon!" Sam mumbled from her position on the couch.

Of course she'd wake up for that, Carly thought and turned to her friend. "Morning."

Sam sat up and stretched out her limbs. "Morning, Carls. Spencer." She looked at Carly and noticed the look she was giving her. "What?"

"Are you okay?" Carly asked concerned.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Sam replied standing up.

"Uh, maybe because I wake up to find out sleeping on my couch without warning!" Carly loved her best friend but sometimes she wondered if all her screws were on right… wait what kind of question is that? Of course they weren't.

"It wouldn't be the first time." Typical of Sam not to offer an explanation. She walked towards the restroom leaving a frustrated Carly over her ambiguous answer.

She turned around on the barstool, "Can you believe her?"

Spencer was mixing the batter, "What're ya gonna do? It's Sam. Don't get worked up about it. She sleeps over all the time." He knew that she was suppose to spend time with Freddie the previous night and assumed that it had gotten late, but he couldn't tell Carly that.

"Yeah, but normally I'm aware of it and she sleeps in my bedroom not down here. It's like she doesn't want to be around me." Carly sighed.

Spencer frowned at his little sister's distress. "I'm sure that's not true. I mean why would she be here if she didn't want to be around you?"

"That's what worries me! What if something happened? What if she got in a fight with her mom and had no choice but to come here?" Carly looked at Spencer as her mind went into overdrive.

He watched his neurotic sister almost hyperventilate at her crazy assumptions and walked over to rub her back. "Calm do—" She shot him a glare. "You're worrying over nothing! Just talk to Sam about it."

"Talk to Sam about what?" Sam said walking out from the hall.

Carly looked to Spencer wondering if she should ask, he gave her an encouraging nod and went back to his waffles. She looked at Sam who wore an impatient face. "Talk to you about how things are going?" She nervously asked and played with her fingers.

Sam narrowed her eyes trying to read Carly, "Everything's good." She said slowly as she wondered what was up with her best friend.

"Oh good. You and your mom still getting along?" This girl was definitely not good with subtlety.

Sam stared at Carly. She hoped that maybe she'd crack under the pressure. "Yep." She was a pro at this game was Carly really trying to go there? There was no way she could get anything out of her unwillingly. Spencer watched from the kitchen.

"That's great!" Carly said almost too optimistic. "So last night…"

"Oh get on with it, Shay!" Sam finally snapped. She might be better at avoiding but she definitely wasn't good with patience. "Ask me what you really wanna ask me. You think I'm here because of my mom, right?"

Carly finally dropped the act, "Well isn't it? Something is up with you! Only I don't know what it is because YOU don't tell me anything anymore! If I happen to see you it's only by chance! What's going on with you?" She finally caught her breath.

Sam was stunned. She was aware that they hadn't spent too much time together but watching Carly flip out made her feel guilty. "Me and my mom are fine, Carls. Chill out. And I do tell you things I've just been busy lately." She averted her eyes at the last part.

"Busy? Doing what? I've known you for years and we've never had this problem before." Carly stated more calmly.

Sam's eyes darted around the room and she played with the hem of her shirt, "Just… you know busy." She looked at Carly hoping she'd drop it. "Look we can hang out today." She smiled trying to appear optimistic.

Carly's eyes brightened. "Really?" Sam nodded. "Okay! We can go to the mall and to Build-A-Bra! Oh and Glitter Gloss is having a sale, too. It'll be perfect!" She grinned. Sam tried really hard not to roll her eyes or groan. She didn't feel like going to the mall and was going to object but the look on Carly's face made her change her mind. She couldn't crush her.

"Yeah…" She smiled and raised her hands in a 'yay' manner.

* * *

><p><strong>A little after breakfast…<strong>

"Do you have any clothes of mine here?" Sam asked Carly as they ascended the stairs. This was the first time since the 'incident' that she was going to walk into her bedroom. She wasn't sure how to feel about it but she thought it was time to face the scene of the crime.

"Um, I might." Carly replied trying to remember if she had seen any of Sam's clothes in her room. They reached her bedroom and Carly walked in first. Sam stood outside the door trying to brace herself. "What are you doing?" Carly asked perplexed. Sam opened her eyes and slightly blushed, "Nothing." Carly raised her eyebrows and turned away, Sam followed. When she walked in she didn't feel anything. Well not anything negative it just felt like it always did. She wondered if maybe she had made it a bigger a deal in her head than it really was. She looked at the bed and quickly looked away. Okay so the bed was off limits. She assessed her thoughts, if she was okay being in here and things weren't as bad as she thought did that mean that she was finally over it or at least in the process of it? She looked towards the bed again and made up images came to her mind, well maybe she needed to work on it a little more.

"I have some of your clothes here." Carly was rummaging through her dresser. "I don't know what you want. Come take a look." She said standing up straight.

Sam walked over Carly's previous position to look through her options. "Oh my god! I love this shirt! It's been missing forever!" She held up a white fitted, 80s vintage tee with Brian Johnson from The Breakfast Club with the words "Nerds make better boyfriends" scrawled across. "I wonder if it still fits." She laid it over her torso checking if it still fit her frame.

Carly watched her. "I don't understand why you own that shirt when you don't even like nerds…" Carly suddenly began laughing. Sam scowled almost daring her to say what she was thinking out loud. "Oh. My. God. It now makes total sense!" Wow, she actually said it.

"Shut up! I got it because Brian Johnson is awesome!" Sam threw the shirt back in the drawer. Carly tried to contain her laughter but it was too cute. "Aw, Sam it's okay! I'm only teasing!" She yelled after Sam who had stormed out of the room with a pair of blue skinny jeans and a red/white plaid shirt. Carly continued giggling.

* * *

><p><strong>During the mall...<strong>

Carly and Sam walked aimlessly around the mall. Both girls carried shopping bags from Build-A-Bra, Glitter Gloss, and other clothing shops. They had spent much of the afternoon shopping and catching up. Sam had to admit that she had miss hanging out with Carly. They had reached the food court. "Hey want to grab something to eat?" Carly asked. Sam gave her a blank stare. "Of course." Carly said answering her own question.

"Want to eat at Inside-Out Burger?" Sam turned to get Carly's opinion.

Carly debated for a little, "Uhhh, yeah. I could go for a burger." The two girls headed over to order their meals.

While they waited for their orders to be up Carly turned to Sam. "So… have you spoken to Freddie?" She tried to sound casual.

Sam rolled her eyes at the lack of her friend's subtlety. "Uh, yeah I have." Carly raised her eyebrows waiting for Sam to go on. Sam met her eyes and got the hint. "We made up since last time."

"Number 45 and 46!" The cashier called out.

"That's us." Sam said checking her receipt. They took a seat at one of the tables near the edge.

Carly popped a fry into her mouth. "Have you guys talked more about…" She wasn't sure how to word it, "You know… how you guys feel?"

Sam nodded while she chewed the bite of her burger. "Mhmm." She swallowed and took a sip of her Wahoo Punch. "But nothing concrete if that's what you're asking."

"Well it's good that you guys at least talked about it." Carly sincerely added. Sam looked at her and debated whether or not she should mention that they had done more making out than talking but wasn't sure if she was ready to, because to be honest she enjoyed having these secret make out sessions.

"Yeah…" Sam absentmindedly began chewing n her lip.

"What is it?" Carly asked knowing there was something more Sam wanted to say.

"It's just… okay we've talked, right? But I still don't know what it is he wants or what I want for that matter." Sam sighed.

"Well what have you guys talked about?" Carly asked taking a sip from her PeppyCola.

Sam took a moment to think back on all the conversations. She suddenly realized they hadn't really discussed anything. All they had done was either fight or make-out. A grin began to spread on her face at the memory of last night.

"Sam! Are you even listening to me?" Carly interrupted.

"Huh? What?" Sam replied still grinning.

"I asked you what you two have talked about and you space out on me with a stupid grin on your face." Carly giggled.

"Yeah, nevermind that. Tell me about you. What have you been up to these past few days?" Sam asked Carly.

"Nothing major. Without you and Freddie around I've managed to get ahead on school work. I've missed this." She said seriously.

Sam returned the smile. "Yeah, I gotta admit I've missed this too." The two girls exchanged sincere warm smiles and continued eating their burgers and chatting away.

* * *

><p><strong>A few hours later…<strong>

Carly lounged on her ice cream sandwich love seat and Sam was sprawled across the couch. Both girls were hysterically laughing remembering the last party they had attended. "And then you tried to get up and fell on your ass again!" Sam said in between gasps of air. Carly was laughing so she had tears in her eyes. "I was so embarrassed! That'll be the last time I get up on a table to dance." Carly shook her head still laughing. After a few more minutes they managed to get their laughter under control. Both girls sighed at the memory. "That was wild night." Sam said. "It was." Carly agreed.

There was a knock at the door. "Come in!" Carly called out.

Freddie walked in wearing a black turtle neck under his blue and grey striped polo shirt. "Hola, muchachas." He happily greeted. Sam turned her eyes in his direction and burst out laughing at the sight of his turtle neck. Carly couldn't help but chuckle at his outfit as well. Freddie's smile faded and he rolled his eyes. "What's so funny?" Sam just shook her head trying really hard to stop laughing.

"Why are you wearing a turtle neck?" Carly asked with a teasing smirk.

Freddie glanced at Sam as if to say 'this is your fault' which in a way was. He was forced to wear a turtle neck in order to hide the hickie Sam gave him the previous night. "What's wrong with turtle necks?" He asked.

"Everything." Sam threw out still chuckling.

"She's right." Carly teased.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, guys." He said gesturing for Sam to move her feet in order for him to sit down. Sam pulled her legs up giving him more room. The tiny, yet odd exchange did not go unnoticed by Carly. "So, what did you guys do today?"

"Went shopping." Carly responded. "Yeah and we were talking about that last party we went to." Sam added. "The one where she fell?" Freddie asked with a chuckle. "That's the one."

"Alright, that's enough of that. Is that the only thing you guys remember?

"Pretty much." Sam smirked.

"No, I remember everything. You two were the ones who got trashed. At one point Sam was— _umph!_" Sam kicked him on his side to shut him up.

"Sam!" Carly scolded. "We don't kick Freddie!"

Freddie glared at her while rubbing his side. "Sorry." Sam said smiling.

"I'll go get some ice." Carly sighed.

"Ooh, get me some iced tea while you're at it." Sam requested. Carly shot her a defiant stare before sighing and giving in. "Fine." She whined.

As soon as Carly exited the bedroom Sam turned her eyes to Freddie. "So, turtle neck huh?"

"Thanks to you." He pointed out. "It was either this," He grabbed at the collar, "Or my mother's never ending tirade." She tried holding back a smile. "Oh you think it's funny?" He asked half threatening half playful.

Sam nodded, "Can't say that it's not." She bit her lip to keep the smile from forming. She was challenging him.

"Oh yeah?" He said moving closer.

"Yeah."

He moved over. "What are you doing?" He ignored her question and kept his gaze fixed on her. She stared back not knowing what his next move was going to be when he went in for the attack and began to tickle her. "Ah! Freddie stop!" Sam demanded between fits of laughter. "Stopppp!" She squirmed but his weight kept her pinned to the couch. Freddie kept going taking no mercy on her. "Freddieee!" She gasped trying to breathe and extended her neck. He saw this as the perfect opportunity and quickly buried his face in the crook of her neck. "Ah! No no no no no!" She shouted when she felt the warm suction from his mouth. She tried to push him off even more desperately but the laughter drained her strength. He ended the tickle torture and continued to suck on her tender skin for a few more seconds before pulling away. She stared at him with a mixture of rage and delight her breathing was ragged. He gave her his side smile and leaned in for a quick kiss before sitting back in his original position.

"Still think it's funny?" He smirked and raised an eyebrow.

Sam stood up and walked over to Carly's mirror and examined the bright red spot on her neck. She couldn't help but chuckle lightly in pure shock. She turned to Freddie and shook her head. "Oh, I'm soooo gonna get you back." She threatened and fixed her hair so it covered the hickie.

"Bring it on, Puckett." He coolly said and leaned back confidently. Sam watched him she was incredibly turned on by this.

Carly returned and threw ice packet at Freddie and handed Sam her iced tea. Sam sat back down next to Freddie completely flushed. Carly noticed their uneven breathing and flushed faced. She cocked her head in bewilderment. "Did I miss something?"

"Nope." Sam and Freddie both said.

Carly couldn't help but noticed that something indeed was going on and the hint of smiles on both their faces wasn't making her any less suspicious. Oh they were hiding something and she was going to find out.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I thought I'd throw in a little cute seddie fluff because all of their encounters have been pretty intense. I also wanted to focus on getting Sam and Carly's friendship back on track ooh and to get Carly to start noticing that something is going on. Well hope you enjoyed it. **

**I've also noticed that there's quite a few people who have the story on alert yet I hardly get any reviews... what's up with that? Thanks to those who do review. I really do appreciate it and it fills my seddie heart with joy!  
><strong>

**Read and Review. **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I did not forget the story! I'm sorry for the delay but life has been hectic! Hope you enjoy this chapter, I've worked on it all night.  
>Oh and by the way... HAPPY HALLOWEEN!<br>**

**Disclaimer: iCarly is not mine.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16: Future Starts Slow<strong>

**One Week Later...**

Freddie practically skipped down the steps to say he was in a good mood would be an understatement. He was radiating happiness. He strolled down the hall greeting people along the way to where Sam and Carly were, similar to Tom from 500 Days of Summer minus the random dance number and high fives. He came to a halt when he reached the girls. Carly was leaning against her locker with an impatient expression. "Hey." Freddie said to Carly then turned to Sam who was half inside her locker, she appeared to be searching for something. Freddie turned back to Carly and pointed at Sam.

"She's looking for her math book." Carly answered.

Freddie's eyebrows went up, "Since when does she look for her math book?" Carly simply shrugged.

"It's obviously not in there, Sam!" Carly said a little annoyed.

Sam stuck her head out and acknowledge Freddie for the first time. "Do you have it?" She directed her question at Freddie.

"Why would I have it?" He responded flabbergasted.

"Because I don't have it." She said as if it were the most logical answer ever.

He chuckled and shook his head. "That doesn't even make sense, Sam." A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. Carly noticed the small exchange between them looking back and forth. It was like she wasn't even there. She was about to speak up when the bell rang. Saved by the bell she thought.

"I gotta get to class, Mrs. Roberts marks us tardy if we're not in our seats five minutes before the second bell rings." Carly picked up her backpack and scurried off.

"See ya!" Sam shouted after her. She turned back to her locker and slammed it shut. "I swear I had my math book with me yesterday. Oh well... Looks like I'm gonna have to deal with Mr. Hicks bitch fit." She looked back at Freddie who was smirking. "What?" She asked.

Freddie went into his backpack and pulled out her math book. "You left it in my car last night." Sam recalled the night before.

_-FLASHBACK-_

_Freddie and I hung out with Carly like any normal day. Finally some sense of normality was back. "Well I have homework to do so I'll see you guys later." He randomly said before giving me a look. I knew that look by now. _

"_Catch ya later." I casually threw out. "Night, Freddie." Carly added. I turned away before he left the room and tried to mentally calculate how long I should wait before declaring my departure. It was silent for a few seconds and I looked up to notice Carly looking at me. "What?" Why the hell was she giving me that look? "Nothing..." She sing-songed before turning away and pretending to play on her PearPad. "Shay." I warned. "Yes?" I gave her a don't bullshit me look. Carly put her PearPad down. When are you two going to finally get together?" Her question caught me by surprise. I sat there completely tongue tied. I had not idea how to answer her question. I couldn't or better yet I didn't really want to tell her that Freddie and I were already doing things people who are 'together' do. Things like kiss each other. Oh how I liked kissing him and the feeling of being held and caressed by him._

"_Sam!" I snapped out of my thoughts. "Are you even listening to me?"_

"_Yeah, I am. But I don't know what you want me to say. I told you already I don't know if that's even what I want. I don't do complicated and going out with him would be the definition of complicated." I watched her sigh in quiet frustration. Why did she want me with Freddie anyway? I couldn't help but wonder if it was her way of redeeming herself. I know I shouldn't blame her or resent what happened but sometimes it got the better of me._

"_Sam..." Carly said in a gentler tone and I knew that meant it was time to be serious and talk about our feelings, but it wasn't happening not tonight and definitely not right now. I had a very cute- yes I said cute!- boy waiting for me. _

_I stood up. "Carly." I looked her in the eye. "I know. Okay?" That was all she was getting out of me. "I'm gonna head home. See you tomorrow."_

"_Okay..." She dropped her head in defeat and the urge to tell her the truth sprung up again. "Night, Sam." _

"_Night, Carly." I headed for the door not wanting to look back. _

_I took the elevator down to the lobby and when the doors opened I noticed Freddie waiting for me. I couldn't help but smile at him. The past few days had been amazing! I walked towards him and I could see the warmth in his deep coffee eyes. "Ready to go?" He said and I simply nodded. _

_He pulled up to a small neighborhood park near my house. It was usually deserted this late at night. I now referred to this location as 'our spot' however there's no way I'd ever tell him that. This whole thing had become rather routine but this part in particular was always a little awkward. It never became routine. "So..." He said and turned to look at me. Although, his mouth didn't communicate the words he really wanted to say, his eyes did. His eyes communicated exactly what we both knew we wanted. I smirked and unbuckled the seat belt. I swiftly jumped up and across the two seats onto the back. I leaned forward and grabbed him by the collar. "Come on." I giggled. Freddie quickly obliged. He wanted this too. I laughed as he struggled to get through. "When I get my own car, I'm definitely getting a big, spacious one." He smiled and settled next to me. _

"_Okay, so where were we?" I felt his fingers thread through my curls as he pulled me in. I opened my mouth and closed my eyes. I could never get used to the feeling of his soft, full lips. I pushed against his mouth to deepen the kiss, I wanted to taste him. I dipped my tongue into his mouth and was met by his. We brushed our tongues against each other, reacquainting with our mouths. I brought my hands up to the side of his face and slid fingers into his hair to pull him closer to me. I lay back and brought him down on over me. We continued to kiss, massaging our tongues eagerly. I couldn't help but always take note of the moment, trying to store away small details to make them into memories later. I can't say that I knew what we were doing because I didn't and that made each moment even more special because any day it could be gone. _

_I made sure to take note of how he smelled. Oh his scent was intoxicating. It's hard to describe it, its a sweet musky scent and sometimes I can get hints of his body wash. His hands. I loved his hands. His touch sent shock waves through my body that connected at my center. _

_He trailed kisses down my neck and I wanted him to go lower but I didn't know how to encourage him without pushing him. I wanted more. I pulled my leg from between his and he nestled in between my legs. I could feel him through his jeans. It was honestly one of my favorite feelings. Just knowing that I had this type of effect on him turned me on even more. He drove his hips against me, which pushed my whole body up and I hit my head against the backseat arm rest. "Ow." I chuckled. "Oh, sorry." He said chuckling, too. He lifted his body to give me room to move back down and ran his head against the roof. "Crap!" He tried to reposition himself. "Ow! Ow! My hair!" I cried. He fumbled and hit his head again before falling back. "Sorry!" We were both silent for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. "I really gotta get my own car." He shook his head and continued to laugh. "Yeah, I didn't want to complain but you do." I added. He jumped back into the front seat. "Come on, I'll take you home."_

"_Let's go."_

_-END FLASHBACK-_

Having been so caught up in the details of the previous night she didn't even think about her math book. Sam snapped out of her daydream and refocused on reality. She looked at Freddie and shot him a flirty smirk before snatching the book away from him. "I knew you had it! Why did you say you didn't?"

"Then Carly was gonna ask why I had it." Freddie pointed out.

"Good point." She nodded then smile sheepishly. "Thanks."

* * *

><p><strong>Afterschool...<strong>

Sam leaned against some lockers playing Angry Ostrich on her PearPhone while she waited for Freddie and Carly. "Hey, where's Carly?" Freddie asked breaking her concentration. "I don't know but she's taking too long. I don't like spending any more time here than I have to." She responded not looking up from her phone. She sighed in frustration, "Stupid ostrich!" Freddie couldn't help but laugh and she shot him a scowl. "I don't know why you play that game. You always end up the angry one." He teased. She kept her eyes on him like she was going to say something but then shrugged, "Eh, I'm always angry." She smiled and Freddie nodded. "Dammit, where's Shay?"

_Buzz, buzz._

Sam looked at her phone. "Speak of the devil." She opened Carly's text.

**Carly: Hey, I have to stay late and work on a group project. I'll meet you guys up later.**

"What'd she say?" Freddie asked. "She said she'll meet us up later. She's got some project." Sam responded as she typed out a reply to Carly.

**Sam: Kay, see you later.**

Sam stood up straight and threw her backpack over her shoulder. "Groovy Smoothie?" He looked at her contemplating his response. "If you want… or we can…" Sam raised an eyebrow at him, "Go make out somewhere?"

"Yeah." He blushed.

A mischievous smirk grew on her lips, "Is your mom home?" Freddie quickly racked his brain trying to remember the day of the week and his mom's schedule. "Uhhh, no. She usually goes to the special food store around this time." Sam rolled her eyes at his mom's craziness. "I never thought your mom's battiness would ever come in handy. Let's go." She grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him out of school.

* * *

><p><strong>Back at Bushwell…<strong>

Sam stepped off the elevator first not wanting to look at Freddie. She had been so sure of this plan when it popped into her head but now that they were here she couldn't help but feel a little nervous. _It__'__s__ just__ Freddie__ and__ you__'__ve __been__ doing__ this__ all__ week __so__ chill__ out._ They stood in the hallway as Freddie unlocked the door to his apartment. He turned to look at Sam. There eyes met in their silent communication type way. How did they manage to go so long without this? Oh well that didn't matter. What mattered was this moment right here, right now and boy did she want him this moment right here, right now.

"Come on." He said and extended his hand to her. Sam couldn't help but hesitate and gave him a questioning look. "Are you sure your mom isn't home?" Freddie rolled his eyes and nodded. "Yes. She won't be back for at least another hour and a half." Sam figured there was no reason to doubt him. After all, who would know Crazy better than him, right? She took his hand and he led her in.

Sam walked in and looked around. Everything still looked the same and she didn't understand why she would expect it to look any different. She'd never spent much time in his apartment before but still there was something comforting about his apartment. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but she felt safe there. Freddie led her down the hall into his bedroom. Sam's eyes darted around the room. It was funny how Freddie's room now felt different. It now had different meaning.

"Want something to drink?" Freddie offered, taking off his backpack and sweater. "You could put your stuff down." He said walking to her and taking her backpack from her. He gave her a reassuring look. Sam assumed her nervousness must've been apparent.

"Got any Wahoo Punch?" She asked fidgeting with her fingers.

"Yeah. I'll be back." Freddie walked out of his room.

Sam walked around his room trying to calm herself. She was nervous but not because she was scared on the contrary she was aflutter. She tried to calm herself and decide whether she was going to make her move today. Sam had no problem taking things slow but by now she was aching to just go a little further. _Screw__ it.__It __doesn't__ get__ any__more __perfect __than __this._ If there was ever a time to make a move she figured this was it. She removed her hoodie and looked into the mirror, she fixed a few stray curls and looked down at her shirt. She smiled at her luck, today of all days she had decided to just wear a simple, black/white, horizontal striped, thin strapped tunic tank. It displayed just enough skin to send a message but not enough to make her look desperate.

"Here you go." Freddie said walking into the room and she noticed his eyes slightly widen at the sight of her but he composed himself quickly.

"Thanks." She said taking the soda from him feeling pretty confident. Sam walked over and sat on the edge of his bed. Freddie watched her and swallowed hard. He'd never had a girl sit on his bed- well he had but not under these circumstances.

"So, what do you want to do? TV? Music? Somethin' else...?" Freddie asked. Sam sat further back and made herself comfortable. "Music works."

"Cool." Freddie walked over to his PearPod Dock. "Anything in particular?"

"Nah, I don't care." Freddie stared at her. "What?" She asked.

"You always say you don't care and then you start complaining that you don't like this song or that band." He stated.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Fine, here." She threw her PearPhone at him. Freddie caught it and placed it in the slot. "What do you want me to play?" He asked her. "Just put it on shuffle." Freddie complied.

_The sounds of Future Starts Slow by The Kills begins to fill the room_

Freddie walked over to Sam and sat down next to her. He tapped his fingers to the beat of the music on his thigh and looked over at her apprehensively. Sam simply stared at him studying his expressions, she could feel his anxiousness. She wondered if he could feel hers, too. She wondered if he was able to notice how he made her feel. Her heart was thumping heavily against her chest and without wanting to waste another minute she reached out to him. "Come here." She said and pulled him from his shirt to her.

Sam lay back on Freddie's bed bringing him over her. He kissed her and a low moan escaped Sam's lips. He took that as a cue and deepened the kiss penetrating her mouth with his tongue. The feeling of his tongue brushing against hers sent shivers down her spine and heat settled in the pit of her stomach. She ran her hands up his arms gripping at the contours of his muscles and up over his shoulders to his neck and finally entangling her hands in his hair. Freddie reveled in the sensations her tiny, delicate hands left. He began leaving trails of open mouthed kisses down her jaw towards her neck. He had full access to her neck, shoulder, arms today and he wanted to explore it all. He continued to kiss down her neck to her clavicle. Sam threw her head back and let out a groan. Freddie nipped and licked across her shoulder pulling down the straps of her shirt, he kissed along her shoulder to her arm and back again. He tangled his fingers through her loose curls and pressed himself against her. This is exactly what Sam had been craving, she wanted him to explore her but she wanted to feel him, too. Sam dragged her hands down his chest and ran her fingers down his sides until she reached the hem of his shirt. She dipped her fingers under his shirt brushing lightly against the skin of his stomach before diving in. His skin was smooth and radiating heat. Freddie squirmed a little when he felt her hands. He moved back up to kiss her, the kiss heated up fast and he suddenly pulled back.

"Wait." He said a little breathless and rolled off her.

"What? Why?" She said equally breathy, still trapped in a fog of passion. She climbed over and straddled him and ran her hands up his chest. "What's wrong?" She asked as she lowered herself and kissed his jaw. He tried to gain some self control but her lips and tongue just felt too good. The gyrating of her hips were not helping either.

"No-no-nothing's wrong..." Any chances of self control were diminishing by the second. His hands went to her hips trying to hold her still. Sam knew she had him. "Don't you like it?" She whispered into his ear and took in his earlobe. Freddie groaned. "Uhh... uhh.. yeah I do. I really do."

"Good." She looked at him and their eyes met. They stared into each others for a few seconds but it felt so much longer than that and then she pressed her lips against his again. Freddie trailed his hands up her sides and down her back. He caressed the exposed skin on the small of her back. Sam put her hands under his shirt and traced the outlines of his abs and his chest. At that moment Freddie ran his hands under her shirt. They both moaned against each others mouths at the feel of their touch. He swiftly flipped them over so that Sam was underneath him once again. Sam smiled against his kisses and she could feel his lips curl into a smile, too. The passion increased as did the intensity of their kisses. Freddie felt Sam pull his shirt up and something in his brain finally clicked and he pulled away again.

"Wait, wait." He tried to catch a breath and compose himself.

Sam sighed in frustration and dropped her head to the side. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Freddie tried to reassure. A deafening silence fell over both of them. They both laid there in complete silence until it became unbearable.

_Knife by Grizzly Bear begins to play._

"Then why do you keep stopping?" Sam broke the silence disappointment was evident in her tone with a hint of hurt.

Freddie wanted to reassure Sam that it had nothing to do with her. "It's not that I don't like it or want to for that matter."

She sat up. "Then what is it?" She interrupted. Sam couldn't stand feeling vulnerable and she was beginning to get defensive.

Freddie looked at her. He could sense she was getting upset, actually he could see it. He took a deep breath. "Things were getting really heated and I just don't want to rush into things, okay?"

Sam stared at him. She was trying to process his words. _Did__ he__ honestly __just __say__ that?_She sneered. "Seriously? All of a sudden you of all people want to take it slow?" She knew it was a low blow and internally cringed.

Freddie's face contorted into a pained expression. "Wow." That was all he managed to say. He was at a loss for words. Sam looked away remorse painted across her face. She didn't know what to say either.

Sam stood up and broke the silence, again. "I just don't get you. You say you like me... that you have liked me yet you still boned Carly! And I know okay... I know that you said it was a mistake and fuck it I'll be the first to admit that we all make mistakes but then here we are..." She signaled around the room, "And you pull away from me like I'm diseased." She knew that was a bit of a stretch but she didn't care right now.

Freddie couldn't believe his ears this girl truly had no idea what she meant to him, he stood up. "Sam, I don't think you're diseased that's... how can you even say that considering what we've been doing all week? Listen, it's because of what happened that I want to take things slow. I don't want to rush into things and risk messing up what we have here." He threw his hand in the air, "Whatever that may be."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam warily asked knowing exactly where he was getting at.

"I mean exactly what I said. I don't have the slightest clue what it is we're doing." He sighed. Talking. This was exactly what she had been avoiding and it caught up with her anyway. She had nothing to say. She had no idea about what she wanted to say. "Sam?" He gently spoke and waited for her to look up. "What?" She didn't raise her eyes. "What are we doing?" Sam remained silent. _What__ were__ they __doing?_ She didn't have any more answers than he did. "I don't know." She barely spoke above a whisper.

Freddie closed his eyes. He didn't expect an '_I __don't __know.'_ He didn't want to hear an '_I__ don't__ know.'_ He moved until he was standing in front of her, he took her hands in his. "Sam, what is it that you want?" She stared at their intertwined hands. _What__ did__ I__ want?__ That's __an__ even__ worse__ question._ She kept her eyes downward too scared to look him in the eye. "Sam..." He spoke in a comforting tone. She knew he was trying to make her feel safe, but it wasn't enough. She pulled her her hands away and took a few steps back, Freddie watched her hands leave his and he felt a pang in his chest. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what was coming next. "Freddie... I don't know, okay? I... I don't know what you want me to say."

He walked backwards until the back of his legs hit the bed. He sat down trying to figure the situation. "I just want you to tell me what you want. Tell me what we've been doing?" He gazed at her with desperate, pleading eyes. "Tell me anything."

Sam could feel her heart breaking one piece at a time. She knew or at least she had an idea of what he wanted but she wasn't ready and she knew that if she did, if she gave in she'd ruin things between them. "I don't know." She saw Freddie roll his eyes in exasperation. "I'm sorry I don't have the answers you want! I don't know what I want all I know is that... I don't want to lose you. Why do we need to define what we're doing? Why can't we just go with it?"

Freddie shook his head. "Because I don't want to just go with it, Sam. I know what I want and it's not this sneaking around, physical thing." He noticed hurt flash across her eyes. "That's not to say that I don't enjoy it because I do. This past week has been incredible..." He gave her a small smile. "I love spending time with you but I just..." He walked up to her again and held her by the waist. "I want something more substantial than a fling because you mean more to me than that."

Sam was frozen in place. She was completely and utterly speechless. Her heart was beating like a jack hammer and she felt like a ton brick had settled in her stomach. Tears stung her eyes and she swallowed hard trying rid the knot in her throat. His words had a profound effect on her. She wanted to just give in and just make him happy but something still tugged at her. The truth was that regardless of his beautiful words she still wasn't ready. She didn't trust herself not to fuck things up, not to hurt him and because of that she had to fight the urge to give into him this moment. She knew that he wouldn't be too happy but in the long run he'd thank her. She began to shake her head sideways. "I can't give you what you want, not right now. I'm not ready for that." She saw the hope in his eyes vanish. "But..." She grabbed his chin and turned his head to face her. "Slow is good. We can go slow. I'm willing to try that." She looked at him waiting for a response anxiously.

A smile began to form across his face. "We'll go as slow as you need." She returned the smile and he pulled her into a tight hug. Sam internally hoped she was doing the right thing. They let go of each other and stood in awkward silence.

"Wanna go to Carly's?" Sam asked.

"Yeah." Freddie nodded.

…

Sam and Freddie walked into apartment 8-C. "Sup, Spence." Sam greeted as she made her way to the fridge. "Hey, Spencer." Freddie added and sat down next to him on the couch. "Hey, kids who are never at their own homes."

Freddie laughed. "What are we watching?"

"Back to the Future." Spencer answered.

"Oh my god!" Sam ran to the living room with a plate of ham and a fork full of ham. Spencer and Freddie turned to look at her. "I love this movie!" She quickly sat down next to Spencer.

"I didn't know you liked this movie." Freddie commented.

"Are you kidding its one of my favorites." Sam said and took a bite out of ham.

"Yeah, it's one of my favorites too." Spencer said taking a piece of ham from Sam.

Freddie was a little surprised by Sam's admission. It was like getting to know her from a different angle. "Huh, I never would've thought that."

Sam turned to him. "What's so hard to believe?"

"Oh, nothing but it's kind of a 'nerd' flick and you seem to dislike all things nerdy." Freddie stated.

Sam smirked. "Apparently not all things."

Freddie's eyebrows went up. "Good to know." They were so caught up in their flirting that they completely disregarded Spencer's presence.

"Are you two flirting?" Spencer looked to this right then to his left.

"No." Freddie and Sam said at the same time.

The door opened revealing a bouncy Carly. "Hey, guys!"

"Hey." "Hi." "Sup." Spencer, Freddie, and Sam responded.

"Look who I ran into at the Groovy Smoothie." Carly stated and everyone turned to look as Jayden walked into the apartment.

"Hey, dude." Spencer welcomed from the couch. Freddie simply nodded his hello.

"Oh, man. Hey!" Sam put her ham down on the coffee table and walked around the couch to hug him. Her enthusiasm did not go unnoticed by Freddie. "Where have you been? I haven't seen nor heard from you for days."

"Yeah, I know. I've been busy." Jayden gave Sam a look that said he had something to tell her.

"Busy doin' what?" Sam asked interested.

"He's been practicing for an upcoming show!" Carly jumped in. "Isn't that awesome!"

Sam looked at Carly then back at Jayden a little perplexed. "What? You joined a band?"

"Yes! And he's invited all of us to go see him tomorrow night!" Carly said excitedly. Sam looked at Jayden waiting for his answer.

"Sorta." Jayden ran his hand through his hair. Sam narrowed her eyes at him there was something that he wasn't telling her. He leaned in and spoke into her ear. "We'll talk later." Sam nodded and mouthed 'okay.' Freddie caught the scene from the corner of his eye and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Spencer stood up. "Well since no one here let's me watch my movie in peace I'm gonna go hang out with Socko. Catch ya later."

"Bye." "Bye." "Bye, Spencer." "Later." All four teens said.

Carly turned to Sam and grabbed her by the arm. She began pulling her up the stairs. "What are you doing?" Sam asked confused.

"Remember you told me you wanted to see that _thing._" Carly made signals with her eyes. Sam caught on. "Oh right! That _thing!__"_ She lamely said as Carly dragged her up the stairs leaving Jayden and Freddie alone together.

Jayden stood behind the couch and Freddie watched as the girls disappeared up the stairs. He looked at Jayden. "Must be quite a _thing_." Jayden said.

"Yeah." Freddie replied. There was an uncomfortable tension in the room. Neither of them were saying anything or moving.

Jayden finally walked around and sat on the opposite end of the couch. "Look, dude I know you don't like me but maybe we should at least try and make it less awkward. I mean you're probably gonna see me a lot."

Freddie turned to him. "What makes you say that?"

"Well because of Sam."

"What do you mean?" Freddie was prying. He was trying to find out his intentions.

Jayden could hear the hostility in Freddie's tone. "I mean Sam and I are friends. Dude, I know you probably think I'm trying to take her from you."

Freddie cynically laughed. "You don't know what I think."

Jayden raised his hands. "Alright, I'm sorry. But just for the record Sam and I are just friends and that's all I want. I'm not after her or anything." Freddie gave him a skeptical look. "I mean at first I might've tried but I know that there's a thing going on between you two and I'm not gonna get in the way of that." Freddie managed to relax a little.

"So you're telling me you're not interested in her?"

Jayden smiled and shook his head. "I'm not gonna lie to you, man. At first yeah I did have this thing for her and I was even hoping it would develop into more, but after realizing how she felt about you I stepped back and whatever feelings I had have died down. She's my friend and that's all."

Freddie thought over Jayden's words and tried to see if he was sincere. He sounded and looked sincere so he decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. "Well, I appreciate your honesty." Freddie extended his hand out to him. Jayden took his hand and shook it. They both sat back and continued watching Back to the Future.

…

A few minutes later the girls came down. "See I told you they'd be fine." Carly said to Sam.

"You boys behaved?" Sam teased.

"We did actually." Jayden said. "Yeah, we even made a pact to build the DeLorean." Freddie joked. Sam turned to Jayden and smacked him on his arm. "I thought we were gonna do that!"

"Sorry, toots. You've been replaced." Jayden teased. Sam shoved him and laughed.

"So tell me about this show you're playing tomorrow night." Sam asked and took a seat on the couch's arm rest next to Freddie and leaned against him. Carly took a seat on the lawn chair.

"Oh well it's gonna be at the Showbox. It's a local bands show and we're scheduled to go on at 8."

"Who's we? Did you join a new band?" Sam interrogated Jayden. She knew he was hiding something.

"Uh, not exactly. Just helpin'outmyoldband." Jayden said the words so fast none of them almost caught what he had said.

"Wait, what?" Sam shot up.

"What's the big deal?" Freddie asked.

"Yeah, I don't see the big issue." Carly commented.

Sam looked at Carly then Freddie and lastly Jayden who appeared to not want to talk right then. "There's no big deal. Just surprised." Sam lied.

* * *

><p><strong>Later that night...<strong>

Sam and Freddie stood by the island counter. "Hey, I'm gonna catch a ride with Jayden."

"I can take you." Freddie stated. "No, I know you can but I kinda need to talk to him." Sam responded.

"Um, okay then." Freddie wasn't a hundred percent comfortable with the idea but he didn't really have a choice. They weren't exactly going out.

"Okay, then. I'll see ya tomorrow."

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."

Sam made her way towards the door and started picking up her stuff. "Hey, Jayden you ready to go?"

Jayden was sitting on the couch. "Yup, I'm ready." He stood up. "Carly it was nice hanging out. Freddie." He waved. "Hope to see all of you tomorrow."

"Bye." "See ya." Carly and Freddie said at the same time.

…

On the way down to the parking lot Sam had began bombarding Jayden with questions. "Okay, so what the hell happened when did you rejoin the band? Didn't you leave after you found you ex-girlfriend cheating on you? I don't understand what's going on."

"Take it easy. I'll answer your questions. Alright, so remember when I dropped you off last week?"

"When I came to see Freddie?" Sam asked.

"Yeah! Well okay after I dropped you off I got a call and I thought it was gonna be you telling me that you had chickened out but it wasn't it turned out to be Kat." Jayden stopped to allow Sam to comment.

"Kat? Your cheating ex-girlfriend, Kat?" Jayden nodded. "That'll be the one."

"Well what did she want?" Sam pried.

"She just wanted to talk and so we did and the next day too and then we met up and one thing led to another and now I'm playing with them tomorrow." He prepared himself for the scolding Sam was about to unleash on him.

"What the fuck? ! So just like that she randomly hits you up, you two talk, and I assume fuck and you're back together?" They were now in the parking lot. Jayden shrugged. "Jayden, come on don't tell me you've already forgiven her?"

"Chill out. It's complicated. I mean I don't know, Sam. I've gone over it in my head a million times but she seems different. Maybe she has changed." Jayden got into the car as did Sam.

Sam tried to calm herself, she didn't want to be too pushy and judgmental. "You really think she's changed?"

"I think so. I mean all week we've been pretty good. It feels different."

"Do you love her?" Sam asked.

Jayden stayed quiet for a bit. "I don't know. I think so. I mean I've missed her. I care about her a lot."

"Then, congratulations." Sam said less than enthusiastic. She looked out the window trying to understand just what the hell was going through Jayden's head. "I guess I should tell you that Freddie and I decided to take things slow."

Jayden smiled at her. "Really? That's great!"

"Yeah, I didn't make any promises though. I'm still not sure what it is I want but I figured this would be a good start."

"Oh yeah. I think that's a good starting point." He reassured.

They reached he house and Sam turned to Jayden. "Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for the ride."

"No, problem." He smiled.

"Night." She half smiled and got out of the car. Sam wasn't completely on board with this whole Kat business, she was scared that Jayden might get hurt again. Tomorrow night was gonna be a hell of a night.

* * *

><p><strong>What did you guys think? Tell me in a Review! <strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hey! I know it's been a while and I had promised to try and dish out a chapter a week but I think I was overly confident, but hey I did give you the longest chapter to date.**

**Okay so there's a lot going on in this chapter. It was pretty difficult to write because I was unsure of the direction but I'm pretty satisfied with it. I have big ideas. Anyway, so since this once takes place during the show there's a lot of songs that I put in that are supposedly being played, however there are two parts near the end where I just added music as background kinda like in movies or shows... you'll know which ones they are because it just says the name of the song and band but doesn't say where it's coming from. Anyway they're optional. I like to incorporate music as much as I can. **

**So I hope you enjoy the chapter and Happy Thanksgiving!  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17: Midnight Whirlwind<strong>

Sunlight cascaded through the blinds illuminating Sam's bedroom in a golden glow. She stirred and squinted at the brightness of her room. She pulled the covers over her face to block out the daylight. The night had been long, she had spent much of it tossing and turning thinking about the new situation she found herself with Freddie and as much as she tried to ignore she couldn't help but think about Jayden with Kat. That last thought bothered her more than she wanted to admit. The whole situation with Kat didn't sit well with her. She wasn't jealous, she was worried. It was suspicious that Kat would call Jayden out of the blue after months and suddenly make amends. Sam's gut instincts almost never steered her wrong, after all she had been right about Valerie and Missy. Therefore, she couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps Kat had ulterior motives for contacting Jayden. She hoped she was wrong but a strong part of her felt that he was being used. She kicked the covers off in frustration.

_Why must boys be so stupid?_ She thought. The last thing she wanted to do was go to tonight's show. Although, she'd never met the girl, she didn't want to. The sole thought of Kat aggravated her. Jayden's leniency aggravated her too. He was too kind and forgiving for his own good. Sam desperately wanted to talk to Jayden about it but he had appeared so hopeful when she last spoke to him she didn't have the heart to crush him, especially without any concrete evidence. She exhaled a loud sigh. "Oh fuck it. I'll give her a chance." She turned to her left and looked at her cat Frothy. "But the moment I sense some bad vibes she's done." She said to Frothy as she scratched behind his ear, he simply purred in response.

She could feel irritation growing and in attempt to stop it she decided to think happy thoughts. On the upside she was going to the show with Freddie. Sure Carly was going as well but it was kind of nice to go out somewhere with Freddie, even more so with the high probability of getting lost in the crowd and sneaking a kiss or two. She bit her lip at the thought and a huge, wide grin spread across her lips. Sam rolled out of bed she was officially ready to start her day.

…

_Feel It in My Bones by Tegan & Sara plays in Sam's bedroom._

Sam danced around her room dressed in a blue cotton bra and purple boy shorts as she picked out her clothes. She opened her closet bopping her head around as she searched for a pair of jeans. A pair of black skinny jeans flew out of the closet and landed on the bed. She stepped out moving side to side, ever so often singing the words to the song. It occurred to her that it was possibly a little corny but she didn't care, she was in too good a mood. She dug through her drawers in search for a shirt. She pulled out handful of tanks and tees messily sifting through them. She finally settled on an off white, worn out, vintage David Bowie tee she had taken from her mom a few years back. She pulled her tee over her head and slipped into her jeans next. Lastly, she put on her sneakers and headed downstairs for a snack.

Sam fell back onto the couch and flipped on the television, she took a bite out of her ham and cheese sandwich when her phone began to vibrate.

_Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzzzzzz._

She looked at the screen and noticed it was Carly calling. "Hey, Carls." Sam spoke into the phone calmly.

"Sam!" Carly's voice shrieked through the phone.

Sam instantly pulled the phone from her ear. "Ow! What did we say about yelling into the phone?"

"To warn you beforehand, but this is important!" Carly said trying to control her high pitch.

"What's going?" Sam replied alerted.

"Can you come over?" Carly asked more calmly.

"Yeah, I'll go over but is something wrong?" Sam questioned still concerned.

"Oh, don't worry nothing is wrong but it is an emergency so hurry!" Carly hung up before Sam had a chance to ask her what the emergency was.

* * *

><p>Sam walked into Carly's apartment not bothering to knock. "Carls!" She took off her jacket and set down on the back rest of the couch. "I'm here!" She shouted into the apartment. "Now, what's the big emergency?" She said quietly to herself.<p>

"Upstairs!" Carly shouted from upstairs and Sam began to make her way up the stairs.

_Wet Blanket by Metric can be heard playing in Carly's bedroom._

Carly's door was half open. "Hey." Sam said as she entered. "Oh god, I'm so glad you're here!" Carly stood up from the heap of clothes on her floor and rushed over to Sam.

"What's the problem?" Sam asked looking at the mess. "I don't know what to wear tonight!" Carly pulled Sam towards the mountain of clothes. "This is what you called me over for?" Sam asked in mild disbelief. "Don't say it like that. This is important, Sam!" Carly sat back down to rummage through her clothes.

"Okay, fine." Sam leaned down across from her and picked up a pair of denim jeans, "Here wear these."

Carly stared at them. "No, I don't like how those fit." Sam rolled her eyes and let them fall back into the pile. "Why are you freaking out? It's just a show with a bunch of local bands we've never even heard of, so who cares what you wear." Carly stopped rummaging for a second and looked up at Sam. "I know that but I still want to look nice. Besides they're not ALL unknown we do know one person in particular." Carly turned away and ran her eyes over the mess of clothes and sighed.

Sam caught the look in her eyes. "Is that what this is about?" She took a seat on the floor to be on the same eye level.

"What do you mean?" Carly asked innocently. "This" Sam signaled in front of them. "Do you want to look nice because of Jayden?" Carly's face flushed. "What? No!" Sam studied Carly's expression. "It's not because of him. I simply want to look nice because there's going to be lots of cute boys." Sam dropped the subject. "Okay. I just ask because he has a girlfriend." Carly's eyes went wide. "What? ! Since when?"

Sam half heartedly laughed and stood up. "This week." She walked over to the ice cream sandwich love seat and sat down.

"Do you know her?" Carly questioned and abandoned her place from the floor and took a seat on her desk chair.

"Nope. All I know is she's his ex. I guess they've rekindled their 'love' or whatever." She mocked.

Carly raised her eyebrows at Sam's behavior and sniggered. "I take it you don't like her?"

Sam turned her eyes towards her, debating her response. She looked away and stood up again moving towards the couch. Carly noticed Sam's fidgety behavior. Sam exhaled loudly. "It's not that I don't like her. I simply don't trust her."

"Don't trust who?" Freddie asked as he walked into the room making both girls look in his direction.

"Jayden's girlfriend." Carly responded.

"Jayden has a girlfriend?" He asked surprised. Carly nodded. "Since when?" He looked from Carly to Sam who had her eyes closed so he turned back to Carly.

"I'll let Sam tell you. She's the one that knows I need to jump in the shower." She bent down to pick up a pair of denim jeans and red blouse before walking out the door.

Freddie watched Carly leave then turned back to Sam. She still had her eyes closed and was bopping her head to the music, Freddie nudged her. "What's wrong?"

Sam didn't respond for a few seconds before opening her eyes and turning to him. "Nothing, just tired. Carly had me come over in a rush on a wardrobe dilemma."

Freddie looked around and nodded. He walked over and patted her feet signaling her to move them. Sam complied and after Freddie took a seat she put them back. "So, you don't trust Jayden's girlfriend?"

"Not really, no." She rolled her eyes at the thought of her.

"Why?" He didn't care so much about what the girl had done he was more interested in knowing why it mattered to Sam.

Sam sighed and sat up a little straighter. She looked him dead in the eyes like what she was about to say would answer all his questions. "She's. A. Lying. Cheating. Skunk-bag." She spat then shrugged in a 'need I say more' manner.

Freddie cocked his head to the side in bewilderment, "Then why is he with her?"

"Cause he's a stupid boy."

"Is that what you needed to talk to him about?" He fished.

Sam looked up at him and half smiled. "Something like that, but let's change the subject I don't wanna talk about that."

Freddie noticed Sam's agitation but didn't want to think too much of it. They were in a good place and he wanted to remain there. "Sure, what do you want to talk about?"

Sam bit her lip and smirked. "I don't wanna talk." Freddie caught her drift and smiled. Sam scooted up almost sitting in his lap and cupped his face with both her hands. They gazed at each other, looking into their eyes. Freddie leaned in and Sam quickly closed the gap, their lips met in a sweet, lingering kiss. Freddie's hand rested against her thigh and he brought his other hand up into her hair, tangling his fingers in her blonde curls to deepen the kiss. He dipped his tongue languidly into her mouth meeting hers in an explosion of pleasure upon contact. The kiss quickly turned from agonizing slow to intense and Sam was now on his lap.

_Jizz in My Pants ringtone begins to randomly play._

_Speeding down the street when the red lights flash  
>Need to get away need to make a dash<br>A song comes on that reminds me of you and I  
>Jizz in my pants<em>

Sam pulled back. She looked at Freddie and noticed that he was trying to figure out where that was coming from.

_The next day my alarm goes off and I_  
><em>Jizz in my pants<em>

"What the hell is that?" Sam asked. Freddie simply shook his head and instantly patted down his pockets for his phone. Sam began to do the same and pulled out her phone. "Oh it's mine." She said slightly confused.

_Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I  
>Jizz in my pants<em>

She looked at the screen and laughed. "It's Jayden. I should've known."

_When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of sixth sense I_

She picked up still laughing. "You changed my ringtone? !" She got up from Freddie's lap and paced behind the couch.

Jayden's laugh could be heard through the phone. "Yeah, like a week ago I can't believe you barely noticed."

"That's cause you barely call me. I was like what the fuck is that?" She chuckled. "But what's up?" Freddie watched her. He noticed that her mood had suddenly improved.

Jayden's laughing died down to a chuckle. "I just wanted to let you know that I put your name as well as Carly and Benson's name on the list, so you guys don't have to wait in line."

"Oooh!" Sam teased. "Such a big rock star."

Jayden chuckled. "Shut up it gets better."

"What else?" She asked interested.

"I got you guys 21 and over wristbands." Silence. "Yeah, now you don't have anything to say huh?"

"Okay, okay. I'll give it to ya, that is pretty awesome."

"See, alright well I'll see ya a little later."

"Yup, bye." She hung up and walked over to sit next to Freddie. "The day is finally looking up. Tonight might actually be pretty cool."

"Why? What'd he say?" Freddie asked trying not to let the nagging thoughts on the back of his mind get to him.

"He put our names down on some list that way we don't have to wait in line aaaaannnddd," she paused for effect. "Got us 21 and over wristbands for the bar." She grinned.

Her grin was infectious and he couldn't help but smile big. "That is pretty cool."

_Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzzzzz_

This time it was Freddie's phone that went off. He fished it out of his pocket and picked up. "Yeah?" He mouthed 'mom' to Sam and she nodded in understanding. "Okay, I'll go over right now. Bye." He looked at Sam. "I gotta go drop my mom off at work."

"Okay."

He stood up. "Be ready by the time I get back. Well make sure Carly is ready that way we can head out."

Sam laughed. "Don't worry we'll be ready. I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay, I'll be back." Freddie walked out the room.

* * *

><p><em>Color On the Walls (Don't Stop) by Foster the People plays in Carly's apartment.<em>

Freddie turned the corner towards Carly's apartment, he could hear laughter emanating from Carly's apartment. He chuckled to himself, he loved it when his two friends were having fun. He knocked and a grinning, cheerful Sam opened the door. "Hey! You're just in time! Carly is about to take a shot of tequila!" She giggled.

He laughed amused. "What? What are you two getting into?"

"Juuuuust a little pre-partying. She's already taken two!" Sam explained enthusiastically. Freddie cocked an eyebrow at Sam. "Did you not tell her?" Sam smiled mischievously. "I might've left that part out."

"Sam!" Freddie chided. "What? ! It's funnier this way!" She defended. Freddie shook his head smiling, this girl was unbelievable. He turned to Carly who was eyeing the shot carefully, trying to find the courage to take it. "Carly, you don't have to drink that."

Carly looked up. "I can do this, Freddie! Third time's a charm, right Sam?" "Right!" Sam encouraged. Freddie gave her a look of disbelief. Carly picked up her shot and before Freddie could tell her about the wristbands she had ingested it. "Ugh! It buuuuurns!" She gagged.

Sam laughed triumphantly. Corrupting Carly was always entertaining. "I can't believe you did it!"

"I told you I could!" Carly said snootily.

"Congratulations, Party Animal, but we're getting wristbands to drink at the show." Freddie informed.

Carly's eyes narrowed at Sam. "Sam!" Sam shrugged still laughing.

"Shall we get going?" Freddie cut in.

"Yeah!" The girls said in unison.

All three teenagers headed out the door. They made their way down the stairs and out the lobby. The air was electric with excitement and anticipation.

…

The drive to the venue was pleasant. Carly was a giggly mess which made the ride that much more entertaining. Freddie pulled up to the venue parking lot, it was full that they drove in a circles a few times before finding a vacant spot.

"Wow, there's a lotta people here." Sam said looking around the lot.

"You sound surprised." Freddie replied. "Nah, mostly an observation." Sam said.

They went around the building towards the front and muffled sounds could be heard through the walls. Upon turning the corner their eyes were struck with a long line of kids around their age. "Geesh! I've never been happier to have my name on a list with you, Sam." Carly stated while she eyed the crowd and smiled at random cute boys in line. She rushed up and leaned into Sam leaving Freddie behind, "Ooooh! There are so many cute boys here!" She whispered and hopped up and down giddily. "I am determined to meet a cute boy today!" Carly affirmed. Sam smiled and cocked an eyebrow surprised at Carly's aggressive tone before nodding in approval.

Sam turned back to look at Freddie who gave her his signature half smile. They reached the doors where a tall, thin, long haired scruffy guy stood holding a clipboard. "Name?" he said in monotone. "Sam Puckett." Sam spoke first. "Dave, hand me a wristband." He looked at Sam as he handed her the wristband. "You're 21?" he questioned. "Last time I checked." Sam responded confidently and snatched the wristband from his fingers.

Carly was next and she was feeling nervous. "Name?" Carly's eyes were wide. "Uh, um Carly Shay?" She said it more like a question than statement. The guy rolled his eyes and asked for a wristband and handed it to her, he wasn't being fooled. Carly walked past him and hooked arms with Sam.

"Next." Freddie walked up, "Freddie Benson." He held his nerves in and kept his cool. "Here ya go. Enjoy the show." The guy at the door said dryly.

All three friends headed to the double doors, Carly pushed through first immediately followed by Freddie and Sam.

_Pumped Up Kicks Remix by Grouplove and Captain Cuts resonates through the entire venue._

"Wow, I didn't think it'd be this packed!" Sam shouted over the music. She looked around admiring the place, it wasn't huge but it had a bar to the far left and scattered tables with stools. There were a sea of people dancing, socializing, drinking, and what appeared to be a hell of a good time.

"I'm gonna head to the bar and try out my handy dandy wristband!" Carly yelled into Sam's ear with a giant smile plastered on her face. "Okay, we'll come with you!" Sam gestured with her hands. Carly shook her head, "No, it's fine just go find us a table." She looked around, "Or take one from someone." She laughed hysterically and pranced away.

Sam turned to Freddie with a terrified/shocked expression and leaned into his ear, "I think Carly's drunk."

Freddie laughed, "You had her drink three tequila shots what did you think was going to happen?" Sam looked after Carly a little worried. Freddie walked in front of her completely blocking her view. "Don't worry she's fine. She's not drunk yet. I'll keep an eye out. We're here to have fun remember?"

Sam nodded then smiled at him, "You're right."

Sam and Freddie stood side by side looking into the crowd when an unexpected thought crawled into her head. "You know what I've just realized?"

He tipped his head in her direction, "What's that?"

She kept her eyes forward speaking to him sideways, "That this is the first time we've gone anywhere since… we've made up." He let her words sink in trying to understand what she meant. Then it hit him. She meant that this was the first time they went anywhere _together_. Things would certainly play out differently if it had been a few weeks back but this was almost like an unofficial date.

"Hey, you're right! And to think all those times you turned me down yet here we are." He opened his arms to signal the room a smirk playing on his lips.

She turned and looked up at him, "Shut up." She blushed and playfully nudged his shoulder. "I'm sure this wasn't exactly what you had in mind."

He chuckled, "Yeah, not quite. But think of tonight as practice."

She furrowed her brows, "Practice?"

"Yeah. I mean it's you and me… we're bound to fight at some point so might as well smooth out those kinks now." He raised his eyebrows and grinned.

"Let's not forget about the perks." She pointed out. "You know flirty comments, heavy eye gazes, a kiss here and there and this." She slipped her hand into his and intertwined their fingers.

"I like the perks." He beamed. "I bet you do. Come let's go find Carly." She made her way through the ocean of people never letting go of his hand.

They reached the bar where Carly was at and the bartender came up, "What can I get you guys?" Sam turned to Freddie, "What do you want to drink?"

Freddie shrugged, "I gotta drive so nothing strong."

Sam nodded, "Okay." She turned back to the bartender and ordered two beers. The bartender came back with two bottles, "That'll be 8 dollars." Sam reached into her back pocket to grab her wallet but Freddie beat her to it and handed the bartender a 10 dollar bill.

"Keep the change." Freddie told the bartender who gestured a sign of appreciation.

"Thanks." Sam said and leaned against the bar to enjoy her beer. The two began to talk and laugh throwing flirty glances at each other.

* * *

><p><em>Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns is booming throughout the venue.<em>

Sam and Carly danced among the crowd and Freddie watched from the sidelines. He watched as Sam moved to the rhythm and how her moves became erratic and jumped up and down along with the music. She made eye contact with Freddie calling him over but he shook his head 'no' and she shrugged and went back to dancing with Carly. He noticed how other guys around them eyeing both Carly and Sam but the girls were oblivious in their own world.

_I Get Around by Dragonette comes on next._

Sam and Carly continued dancing around. Carly was pretty drunk and wore a goofy smile and moved around carelessly but not sloppy. A guy begun to move in trying to dance with both girls and Sam intentionally moved around him to leave him out. Freddie noticed the guy keep trying to dance up on Carly and how Sam kept moving her away. It wasn't until he tried dancing on Sam and he noticed her annoyed expression that Freddie decided to intervene. He walked through the crowd of teens and made his way to Sam and Carly. Sam instantly grabbed on to him to show that he was with her but made sure to pull Carly with her and the guy lifted his hands in the air and walking away. Sam couldn't help but laugh at the situation and buried her face against Freddie's chest.

"What's funny?" He asked.

"Nothing." She lied. It was funny that Freddie had come to her rescue. Never in a million years would she have imagined him doing so but here he was shooing off some pestering guy and she had to admit she liked it.

"Look, Jayden's over there." Carly pointed. Sam looked over Freddie's shoulder and noticed Jayden standing on the side of the stage.

"Come on!" She began moving through the people and reached her hand out to grab Freddie but Carly was behind her so she grabbed her instead. Carly pulled Freddie and the three made their way to Jayden.

"Hey!" Sam greeted as soon as she reached Jayden.

"Oh, hey!" he gave Sam a small hug wrapping one arm around her neck to pull her in. "I didn't think you guys were here yet." He looked to Carly, "Hey!" and gave her a small hug too. He turned to Freddie, "Hey, man." He gave a nod and Freddie responded in kind.

"So what time is this show gonna start?" Sam asked Jayden.

"Oh it should start in 15 minutes or so. We're going up fourth." He had a huge grin on his face. Sam noticed how excited he was and how happy he looked. "How are the wristbands working out?"

"Awesome!" Carly shouted and then giggled. Freddie lifted his beer to show they had come in handy.

Sam cocked an eyebrow, "It's working great for her." She laughed. "Nah, but thanks for hooking us up." Just then Sam noticed a tall girl- well taller than her, with platinum blonde, messy looking, shoulder length hair, dark eye shadow and bright red lipstick walk up to Jayden and wrapped her arms around his waist. She sported a black, tattered babydoll dress with a white collar, black fishnets and black combat boots. It was like the 90s kinderwhore look had exploded.

"Hey, babe. Who are they?" Kat questioned but kept her eyes on Sam like she already knew the answer to her question.

"Oh these are my friends. Sam, Carly, and Freddie. Guys this is Kat." He looked at Sam who had a less than impressed look on her face.

"Oh so you're Sam." Kat tilted her head and looked her up and down. "I've heard a lot about you." She said in a fake sweet tone.

"Likewise." Sam responded dryly.

"I bet you have. I hope mostly good things." Kat said keeping her fake sweet charade up.

Sam shrugged, "Not really."

"Okay!" Jayden interrupted. "Babe, didn't you say you wanted a drink? You might wanna go before the show starts."

Kat kept her eyes on Sam before rolling them and turning to Jayden. "You're right." But before she left she grabbed Jayden's face and kissed him. It wasn't a small kiss but an over display of affection, open mouthed, and graphic. Sam rolled her eyes and turned away. Her stomach tightened and she didn't understand why she felt pissed off aside from the fact that this girl obviously didn't like her. "I'll get you one too." As she walked away Kat glanced at Sam and smirked.

Sam couldn't believe her eyes. This girl was openly taunting her. She knew there was a reason why she didn't like her; she wanted to grab her by her over bleached hair and pound her face. She didn't understand what was up with her it's not like there was anything going on between them but then why the hell did that kiss bother her?

"I'll catch up with you guys after the show." Jayden spoke breaking through Sam's murderous thoughts.

"Sounds good."

"Alright."

"Break a leg!"

Jayden turned around and walked away into the back of the stage. "What the hell was that? !" Sam finally spoke once he was out of ear shot.

"Oh my god. I know!" Carly sneered.

"What?" an oblivious Freddie asked.

"What? ! What do you mean 'what'? That Courtney Love wannabe was totally fucking with me!" Sam spat. Carly nodded with wide eyes.

Freddie rolled his eyes. "She seemed perfectly nice to me."

Sam scoffed. "Nice? Did we just witness the same thing back there? And that gross kiss what the fuck was that?"

Freddie sighed loudly. "What that was also against you?" He didn't like Sam's reactions to Kat, even from the morning conversation he felt that perhaps there was an underlying jealousy.

"Yes! She walked away smirking didn't you see that?" Sam was becoming agitated.

"It was like she was trying to make you jealous." Carly mentioned. An awkward silence fell between Sam and Freddie. Sam tried not to comment on that nor look at him but from the corner of her eye she saw Freddie's irritated expression.

"Well it's in vain because there's nothing for me to be jealous about." She said it loudly hoping Freddie could hear her conviction.

* * *

><p>All three sat around a table with a full view of the stage that Sam had confiscated from some kids. Freddie was slowly sipping his second beer, Carly was drinking a coke on orders from Freddie and Sam was on her fourth beer. They watched band after band go on enjoying some of the music they had to offer but they were more looking forward to Jayden's band. The third band had finished their set and began to clear out; the announcer guy came on stage and announced the next band.<p>

"Oh Jayden's up next. Let's go get a closer spot." Sam hopped off the stool. She looked to Freddie who hadn't moved with expecting eyes, "You coming?" She was worried that maybe he was still upset. She gave him doe eyes and extended her hand out to him. He took her hand and stood up and smiled warmly. Sam's face lit up from relief and she pulled him towards the center of the floor.

They walked out and took their positions: there was Derek the drummer, Lexie on bass, Kat on vocals, and Jayden on guitar. The crowd cheered them on to begin but the loudest screams came from a small, spunky blonde and a tipsy, giddy brunette. Jayden noticed them and gave a small wave and flirty smirk that did not go unnoticed by Kat who shot them both a glare. Derek counted off 1, 2, 3 and their instruments came to life.

Throughout their set Sam and Carly were being extremely generous with their support and cheers. Sam leaned into Carly's ear, "See! Totally a Courtney Love wannabe."

Carly laughed, "Yeah, but the grungy sound is pretty cool."

Sam looked over her shoulder, "Having fun?" She asked Freddie. He stepped closer and placed his hands on her hips before lowering his mouth close to her ear. "Yeah, I'm glad I came here with you." She couldn't help but grin widely and reached over and pulled him in for a quick kiss. She didn't even care that Carly was right there looking at them with a dopey smile.

* * *

><p><strong>An hour later…<strong>

_Bands continue to play in the background._

Sam leaned against a pillar chatting up Freddie. "Where Carly go?" she asked after suddenly remembering her tipsy friend.

"She's over there." He pointed behind her to a table nearby. Sam turned her head and saw Carly talking to a cute boy. "Wow, she wasn't kidding when she said she was determined to meet a guy."

"Yeah." He looked towards the door that led to the balcony and turned back to Sam. "Wanna go outside for a bit?"

"I don't know. You think we should leave her?" Sam asked concerned.

"She's fine. Her buzz came down by now." He reassured.

Sam looked back again before turning to Freddie who was giving her puppy dog eyes. She chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Fine, let's go."

Freddie laughed. "I can't believe that worked! I'm gonna have to keep that in mind."

"Shut up before I change my mind." She attempted to threaten.

They stepped through the door and a wisp of crisp, chilly air instantly hit their faces, "Ah! It feels good out here. I didn't realize how hot it was in there." Same spoke first.

"Yeah." Freddie said moving closer to the railing. "Hmm, look at that." He pointed out into the city skyline. Sam moved up next to him and hooked her arm with his.

"It really is a beautiful city, huh?" She said admiring the city over view. "I kinda forget sometimes."

Freddie took in a deep breath, "I sometimes forget, too. I'm really gonna miss this place once I leave for college."

The words sucked the air out of Sam's lungs. She hadn't thought about that. She had been so caught up with the moment and living in the moment that she didn't think about what it would mean if she and Freddie got together aside from it being great _at the moment!_ They were seniors already and graduation was less than a year away. The realization that Freddie was going to leave changed everything.

"Hey." He nudged her. "What are you thinking about?"

"Huh?" She asked coming out of her deep thoughts. "Oh, nothing just how pretty it looks out here." She lied. Freddie was completely oblivious about the implications of his words.

Freddie turned Sam to face him and wrapped his arms around her waist. He moved them backwards into a corner. "What are you doing?" Sam giggled, yes Sam giggled.

"I've been trying to get you all to myself all night." He widened his legs to come down to her eye level. He looked into her blue orbs completely getting lost in them then leaned in and kissed her. He tightened his arms around her waist and brought her flushed against his body. Sam trailed her hands up his arms and settled her hands around his neck playing with his hair on the nape of his neck.

Someone crashed through the door cackling interrupting their kiss. Sam looked over her shoulder only to notice Kat swapping sloppy, wet kisses and hanging off someone who wasn't Jayden. Her jaw dropped and blood began to boil. She quickly turned back and hid her face in Freddie's chest. "Oh my god!" she whispered. Freddie lowered his head, "Who the hell is that?"

"I don't know! I don't know! I knew there was something off about her! She's still cheating on Jayden!" She whispered harshly.

Freddie could feel Sam begin to shake in anger. "Calm down."

"I can't! I want to hit her! I'm kicking her ass! How can she do this to Jayden?" She closed her eyes at the thought of Jayden finding out. "He's gonna be devastated." Her tone completely changed.

Freddie understood what Sam meant but her concern and loyalty to Jayden bothered him some. He didn't want her to make a scene. He didn't really want her to butt in even though Jayden was her friend. He couldn't help but feel jealous. "Just don't do anything stupid." His tone came out a little harsher than he'd intended to.

Sam pulled back with a mixture of confusion and anger. "What? !" Freddie was about to say something when she began shaking her head side to side and cut him off. "You know what forget it. I'm not arguing with you right now." She turned around and walked up to where Kat and they mystery guy were. She cleared her thought to make her presence be known. Kat pulled away and noticed her and started laughing. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I don't think it's any of you goddamn business what I'm doing." Kat spat. She pushed mystery guy away and got in Sam's face. "You're gonna go running to Jayden now and tell on me?" She was taunting Sam.

Freddie watched Sam and saw her open and clench her fists, he knew what was coming next. He came up from behind and grabbed her by the shoulders, "Don't bother Sam it's not even worth it."

"Yeah, you might wanna listen to nerd boy." Kat kept trying to press Sam's buttons.

"Hey, watch your mouth!" Sam pointed right at her face threateningly and Kat rolled her eyes and ooooh'd in mock fear. That made Sam snap and she charged forward only to have Freddie quickly grab her from her waist and hold her back.

"Hey there you guys are." Jayden cheerfully said as he stepped onto the balcony. He noticed the tense faces and swiftly lost the smile. "What's going on?" He asked Sam who didn't have it in her to look at him and casted her eyes down. Jayden looked across and saw Kat with her mystery guy and it didn't take more than that for him to piece it together. He chuckled in mild disbelief. "Seriously?" he directed his question to Kat who simply shrugged. He sighed, "Nothing was true was it?" His tone was low and serious.

"You're just not the same guy anymore. You're all clean and boring now." Her voice had no hint of guilt or remorse; she really didn't give a fuck. Sam couldn't believe her ears.

Jayden nodded. He didn't have any words. He felt stupid. He knew he should've known better but he really just wanted to believe her. He began to back out and glanced at Sam before heading out the door.

Sam turned to Kat even more pissed off than before. Pissed at how heartless and cruel she was. "You've no idea what you've just let walk at that door. What he's not who he used to be so you break his heart? He is fucking amazing and you know what I'm glad he realized what a waste you are because now he'll be able to find someone worthy of him. And you… you'll be alone."

"Oh really? What someone like you?" You could tell Sam's words had gotten to her. She had lost her composure.

_Cheated Hearts by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs can be heard from the venue speakers._

"As long as it's not you." Sam walked out back into the main room with Freddie in toll. "Fuck! Did you see where Jayden went? I need to talk to him." She stood on her tiptoes trying to look over the crowd to no avail. When she didn't get a response from Freddie she turned around to face him. He wore a serious unreadable expression. "What is it now?" He shrugged and shook his head. "Really? That's your answer?" Sam was already pissed off and his vague responses weren't helping the situation. "Are you not talking to me now?"

He stared at her contemplating his answer. He knew he was being childish but he was tired of this. "I'm just gonna head home." He turned and began making his way to the exit. Sam stood frozen in place appalled at what she had just heard. She watched him get further and further into the crowd of people. She shut her eyes trying to make a quick decision and suddenly took off after him.

_Music fades out only the sounds of the city are heard._

She rushed out the door and looked down the block and saw him walking towards the parking lot. "Wait!" She ran to catch up, "Freddie, wait up!" He continued walking not even bothering to look back. She stopped. "Will you just wait? !" She said more forcefully and with desperation. He came to a halt before turning around to face her, they stood four feet away.

"What, Sam?" He sounded drained. Sam's attitude quickly changed after hearing how exhausted he sounded.

"Why are you leaving?" she sincerely asked.

He looked up to the sky shaking his head in the process. "You like him." He threw it out there.

"What are you talking about?" She questioned exasperated. Time and time again she had reassured him that there was nothing going on between her and Jayden.

He could tell she was about to re-explain the 'nothing is going on between us' speech and spoke up again. "You do. I've spent all day watching your jealousy flare up every time so much as Kat's name came up. I tried to tell myself that maybe it was just my imagination but that," he pointed at the building, "what happened in there proved it all."

"I'm not jealous! How can you even say that?" Sam defended.

Freddie laughed dryly, "Sam, all day you've either been in a crabby mood or throwing out snarky remarks and the moment you notice that Kat was cheating on Jayden you just had to jump at the opportunity of proving how right you were and how wrong for Jayden she is."

Sam's eyes widened and she stepped closer. "That's so not true! Okay so yeah maybe I did make a few snarky remarks but you saw her, she clearly didn't like me! As for wanting to kick her ass that has nothing to do with me! I wasn't trying to prove anything! I was standing up for my friend! I would've done the same for you or Carly so don't you dare try and make that into a pride thing because it's not."

Freddie pinched the bridge of his nose then looked directly at her. "I don't know, Sam. I… it's not even just today. It's how you light up when you're around him. How he lights up around you. You and he have gotten closer and it's like you share this bond that I can't even compare to. It looks so effortless and comfortable and things between you and I are so complicated. Today I think you felt threatened that you were going to lose him just how I've lost you to him and whether you admit it or not you were jealous."

Her shoulders fell after hearing his confession. "You haven't lost me, Freddie. I'm right here. I'm standing right here."

"Yeah but we both know your mind is over there." He signaled to the venue.

She sighed. "Is it so wrong that I'm worried? He's my friend and he just found out his girlfriend played him… again. She hurt him, Freddie and she didn't even feel any remorse! She didn't fucking care. Who does that? It's wrong. So yeah I'm sorry if it bothered you but I'm not gonna stand by and let anyone hurt any friend."

"You're hurting me!" he interjected. "How 'bout that? You're hurting me! I have been trying so hard to show you how much I care. I even told you that I wanted to be with you and you shot me down! You told me that you weren't sure about what you wanted and I thought maybe because you were scared but now I think it's because you're not sure about how you feel. Then you tell me you want to take things slow and like an idiot I agree and for what? For this? !"

Sam's anger flared. "How can you say that to me? My intention is not to hurt you—"

"Well you are. None of this is ever going to work until you make up your mind about who you want." He couldn't even think straight anymore. Words were just spilling out of his mouth like vomit and he couldn't stop it.

"Oh, that's rich coming from you!" he scrunched his face in confusion. "You spent years pining over Carly who wouldn't give you the time of day! Then what one day you finally became fed up and decided to settle on the idiot best friend because surely she has nothing better, right?"

His face fell into a frown. "Sam…"

_Got It, Lost It by Big Scary_

"No, Freddie. You want to stand there and judge me on the same things that you're guilty of then go right ahead. And you say that I hurt you well I'm sorry because that was never my intention but this, the things you said to me and threw in my face was on purpose and I would've never done that to you. Ever." She began to walk away.

Freddie realized that he had fucked up. He had let his jealousies, insecurities, and anger get the best of him and he had hurt her. "Sam, wait…" He tried to follow but stopped soon as she turned around.

"No!" She had tears pooling in her eyes. "You don't get to say I'm sorry." She turned and walked away. Freddie watched her go with regret and remorse flooding him with each step she took further and further away from him.

Sam walked back into the venue wiping away the stray tears. She couldn't believe just how quickly the night had gone wrong. He was gone. That thought ached to her core. She had lost him just like that, without a single warning. She felt guilty. Was she really jealous? Was he right? But still that didn't give him a right to treat her like he had, right? Her mind was racing she couldn't think straight. She just wanted to find Carly and get the hell out of here.

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile…<strong>

Carly sat on a big, black crate- the ones used to carry equipment. Next to her was Jayden, they both sat silently. "I know people often say they know how you feel or what you must be going through, but in my case I actually do." Carly broke the silence. He turned to look at her a little surprised by her admission. He and Carly weren't exactly close and he found it sweet that here she was, that she cared enough to help him out.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Well it was my ex-boyfriend. We had been dating for a few months and I thought it was love you know. I really thought he was gonna be it. So on the night before he had to fly out to LA he told me he loved and so we…" She raised her eyebrows.

It took him a moment before he caught on. "Oh right, right."

"Yeah, so two weeks later Sam found this picture of him with some girl online and began saying that he had to be cheating. I didn't want to believe it because well it was just a picture and secondly because I didn't want to even consider the idea. So we ended up going to LA and it turns out he was going out with another girl for about the same time he and I had been dating. So that was the end of that. I just remember feeling betrayed and disgusted but I also felt stupid for even believing in him." Carly shook her head at the memory.

"That's terrible. What an asshole." Carly laughed and agreed. "You know part of me knew I shouldn't have trusted Kat. My instincts were screaming to not trust and I think I knew but I don't know another part of me didn't care about the warning signs. I wasn't even that surprised tonight it was her careless attitude that hurt the most."

…

Sam had searched everywhere for Carly and had even called her multiple times but her phone would ring and ring and then go to voicemail. She assumed it must've been on silent. She decided to make one more round. As she walked past the bar she ran into Ripoff Rodney.

"Hey, Sam." He tapped her shoulder.

Sam turned around. "Rodney? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Makin' money." He opened his coat to reveal band merchandise. "I have some t-shirts in my car behind the venue that I'm gonna sale later if you want to come by and have a look."

"Yeah, I don't think so. I need to find Carly."

"Carly? Oh I saw her with some dude a while ago. They went through there." He pointed at the doors on the side of the stage.

"Oh, great! Never thought I'd be glad to run into you. I'll catch ya later."

"Wait!" he stopped her. "You're gonna need this." He handed her a pass."

She looked down at it. "Thanks, man." She took off to find Carly.

She walked down the corridors wondering what she was going to tell Carly. How was she supposed to explain that Freddie had left them because he thought she wanted Jayden? She passed down the hallway filled with band equipment and noticed a girl and guy sitting on a crate from the back. She began walking closer when she saw both of them lean in and kiss.

_Hands Away by Interpol_

Sam quickly stopped in her tracks she felt her stomach tighten into knots and like the oxygen had been sucked out like a vacuum. She backed away quietly until she reached the corner and leaned against the wall trying to process what she just saw and more importantly why she felt like she'd just been punched. Had Freddie been right all along? Did she have feelings for Jayden? She began to move away quickly looking for an exit she needed air. The halls looked endless and she felt like she was suffocating. She finally saw and exit and crashed through the doors. She felt a whirlwind of emotions all she kept thinking was about what Freddie had told her, how he had left her, how Jayden had left her, Carly, too. She was alone. Sam laid her head against the wall and looked into the sky silently cursing this unfortunate night. She heard voices to her right and noticed a car with the trunk open and people looking at shirts. Rodney, she thought. She made her way to him.

"Changed your mind?" Rodney said holding up a shirt.

"Can you get me outta here?" She almost pleaded.

He noticed the look on her face, "You okay?"

The tears were quickly welling up and threatening to spill. "Can you please take me home?" She said in a shaky voice her lip quivering.

It alarmed Rodney and realized this was serious. He had never seen Sam look so fragile before. "Yeah, yeah. Get in."

The ride home was quiet. She watched the raindrops trickle down the window blurring the outside world. How fitting, she thought. Her own mind was a blur. She didn't know what was what anymore. All she knew was that she was on her own, like she'd always been.

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><p><strong>AN: So what are your thoughts? I'm sure a few of you are ready to strangle me but please have faith.  
><strong>

**Read and Review!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I know! I know! I'm sorry I didn't update sooner! I have been meaning to but every time I sat down to write my mind would go blank. The good news is that I officially know where I want this story to go and we are only a few chapters away from the end. Thank you to everyone for their patience.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 18: Logic Will Break Your Heart<strong>

Sam lay on her bed facing up. She stared at the ceiling completely comatose not wanting to make a single movement. Her thoughts served as reminders of the disastrous night causing her physical pain. Everything hurt. Inside and out. Her eyes stung and tears would slowly spill out the corners of her eyes. She tried to convince herself it was from the lack of blinking but if she was honest it was over her heartache. It's strange how silent and still everything is in the wee hours of the morning. Almost peaceful but not tonight, no tonight the silence was torturous, making her thoughts deafening. Hours had passed and she was still unable to put things into perspective. Things were not much clearer. In fact the more she tried to sort through everything the more confusing it became. She shut her eyes tight in an attempt to shut everything off. What was she going to do? She had no answers.

* * *

><p><strong>In the morning...<strong>

The ringing of her cellphone pulled her from her restless sleep. She opened an eye feeling completely worn out. The phone continued to ring aggravating her. She had finally fallen asleep with too much trouble to allow her phone wake her. She grabbed it off the night stand and chucked it across the room not caring about the damage. The phone went silent and she sighed in relief. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to people. Her mind and body craved sleep and that's all she wanted to do. Sleep, sleep, sleep. At least while she was asleep she couldn't feel the pain or think about last night. She shut her eyes again and pulled the blankets closer and tighter around her. All she wanted to do was disappear at least for a day. She lay still for a few minutes before sighing loudly and rolling over. It was no use, her body had come fully conscious. She felt the pressure of her full bladder and decided to drag herself out of bed.

The sink water ran as she brushed her lethargically brushed her teeth. After rinsing her mouth she splashed some water on her face in hopes of snapping out of her dreadful mood. No luck. She stared at her reflection in the mirror and a rush of emotions slammed into her. She didn't like the girl who was staring back. Always fucking things up. With disdain she threw water against the mirror and stormed out of the restroom. She stalked back into her bedroom and climbed back into bed. If she felt like shit then why should she pretend not to? She decided she was going to lay in bed all day if she so pleased. If she wanted to wallow in self pity then she'd do that, too. Fuck everything. It was all fucked anyway so what did it matter what she did now?

* * *

><p><em>Love and Death by The Stills plays loudly in Sam's bedroom.<em>

Music blared from Sam's room. She was hoping it would drown out her thoughts but to no avail. As much as she had tried not to think it had managed to creep up on her. She had over analyzed the situation so much that she was beginning to feel like she was losing her mind. She didn't know what was real anymore. Sam especially thought about what Freddie had said. Could she have feelings for Jayden and not know it? Wouldn't she know it though? She was so sure of it until she started over thinking. But if she didn't then why did she feel jealous at the sight of Carly and Jayden kissing? My god maybe Freddie was right. No, no, no, no, no! There had to be another explanation. However, one thing was for certain she and Freddie would never work. If last night was any indication of their future then it was destined to be a disaster in the end. Not to mention that they were in their senior year and Freddie obviously had plans for college as he very well should but where did that leave her? Perhaps last night was a sign. A sign that they were better off as friends. Sam knew that if they stayed together then he wouldn't leave her when it was time to go. He would probably give up MIT or some Ivy League school just to stay in Seattle. She couldn't let him do that. She wouldn't let him do that. "Ughhh!" she groaned at the complexity of it all. He deserved more than what she could offer.

Sam wasn't sure what she felt anymore or towards who for that matter. It was the Sam way to just blame everything on others and project her feelings onto them but that simply wasn't working anymore. She did feel pissed at Freddie. She was mad at how he had snapped at her but she was mad at herself too. She was angry at Carly for making a move on Jayden, it was like nothing could be just hers.

_Bang, bang, bang!_

"What?" Sam shouted.

"Turn down that damn noise! I'm trying to watch TV and your racket doesn't let me hear!" Pam Puckett shouted back from the outside of Sam's bedroom.

"Well turn it up then!" She replied agitated.

_Bang, bang, bang!_

"You smartmouth brat! I oughtta break down this door!" Pam yelled into the door.

Sam shrugged not bothering to reply. When she didn't hear anything anymore she assumed her mother had gone back downstairs and just to spite her she turned the music up even louder. A devious smirk crept across her lips as she began bopping her head to the music. She took in the state of her bedroom before quickly deciding to do some cleaning. She was tired of wallowing in self pity. Sam stood from her bed and began tidying up her bedroom.

* * *

><p><strong>About an hour later give or take a few minutes...<strong>

_Stand Inside Your Love by the Smashing Pumpkins plays from the PearPod dock._

Sam looked around and felt accomplished her room was completely transformed. She had to admit she felt better and peaceful. She walked over by the window and stared out into the city, it was funny how such a large city could feel so small. In that instant she looked down and noticed her phone, she picked it up and noticed the screen had cracked. "Dammit." She tried to turn the screen on but it wouldn't turn on. She could see the blinking light that she had messages but there was no way she could view them. Sam wondered if any of those messages were from Freddie. She sighed before walking over to her nightstand and placing the broken phone down.

_Bang, bang, bang!_

The banging startled her. What now? She thought. She decided to ignore it in hopes that her mom would go away.

_Bang, bang, bang!_

"Open th- d-or! Th- som- you!" Pam's voice was muffled by the door and music.

"Sorry can't hear you!" Sam responded.

"Get." _bang!_ "Your." _bang!_ "Ass." _bang!_ "Down." _bang!_ "Here!" Pam screeched as loud as she could before stomping down the stairs.

Sam paused. She sounded serious she thought. She turned down the music then headed out the door. She stomped down the stairs just like her mother had. "What do you want?" Sam instantly noticed Jayden standing in the middle of the living room then turned to her mom who wore an 'I tried to tell you' expression. Sam quickly pulled on her oversized Cuttlefish t-shirt and pulled it down to try and cover herself.

"Well I have a date to get to. You kids have fun. Oh and Sammy remember what I always tell you about boys." Pam interrupted as she walked in between the two.

Sam gave her a puzzled look.

Pam opened the door and turned to her noticing her confused expression before clarifying. "No glove, no love."

"What? You never tell me that!" Sam replied in horror.

Pam turned her eyes up. "Hmm, I don't? Then who do I say that to? Oh well I'm telling you now. I'm too young to be a grandma." And with that she was out the door leaving a horrified Sam behind.

After a few seconds Sam finally tore her eyes from the door and set them on Jayden who had an amused look plastered on his face. "She's nice." He teased.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked seriously.

"Geez, well it's nice to see you too, sunshine." He sarcastically retorted.

She kept her eyes on him and all of last night's emotions surfaced. "Hmm, come on." She signaled for him to follow her. "And don't look stare at my ass." She warned as she pulled her shirt down lower.

Jayden shook his head and smiled. "I won't." He lied.

_Daydream by the Smashing Pumpkins can be heard from the speakers._

Upon entering her room Sam pulled out some sweatpants and slipped them on. Jayden recognized the song playing on her PearPod dock and turned to Sam. "You're listening to Smashing Pumpkins? You must be having a hell of a day."

"What do you mean?" She questioned.

"Cause you once said that only Billy Corgan could understand the complexities of your youth. Now don't get me wrong I love Smashing Pumpkins but they're not exactly rainbows and sunshine." He explained.

Sam stared at him for a moment. "I said that?" She finally spoke.

"Yep." He said as he made himself comfortable on her bed resting his back against the headboard.

"Hmm." She took a seat at the foot of her bed. "So what brings you to my humble abode?" As she made small talk she was trying to see if she could find something, anything that could clue her in whether she had feelings for this boy or not.

"Didn't you get my texts? I called you, too but it went to voicemail." He informed. He reached over for the PearPod dock remote and began flipping through songs.

Sam let out a cynical chuckle. "Nope, my phone's broken. So, even if I did get it there's no way I could see it." She scooted over towards her nightstand table and grabbed her phone. "See." She tossed it over to Jayden.

"How'd you break it?" He examined the phone.

"The wall ran into it." She said dryly. "Speaking of things that should run into walls have you talked to that skunkbag?"

Jayden stopped toying with the phone before sighing. "Nope."

"Good." She moved on the other side of Jayden to lay down. Sam looked up at him studying his features still searching for some truth in Freddie's accusations. "I don't get why you even got back with her to begin with."

He casted his eyes downward. "You wanna know something? I pretty much figured she was up to something. I didn't think this was it. I did have doubts."

"Then why did you go along with it?" She asked annoyed.

He sniggered. "I dunno, maybe because the opportunity came up and it was familiar. There's comfort in the familiar. I mean don't get me wrong a part of me still cares about her but it's not in the way that I thought I did. I care about her well being but that's about it."

"But you said you loved her." Sam pointed out.

"I know and like I said it wasn't in the way that I thought I did. Mostly was habit I guess. Or wishful thinking. I don't have concrete answers just that I'm done with her for good. No second guessing." He affirmed.

Sam wanted to ask him about Carly. She wanted to barrage him for kissing her, especially so soon after breaking up with Kat. But she didn't know how to bring it up. "So where did you disappear to afterwards?"

"Ah, I needed some time alone to clear my head so I went into the back." He spoke calmly and played with his phone which drove Sam mad. That's not what she wanted to hear.

"Oh, 'cause I tried looking for you but everyone I asked said they hadn't seen you." She watched him for a reaction before adding "then I lost Carly, too."

He stopped with his phone then looked at Sam. "Oh, yeah I ended up giving her a ride home cause I had no idea where you and Freddie were at." Liar! He was lying! Well technically he wasn't lying but he was omitting part of the story. "Speaking of which how did it go last night?"

Sam rolled her eyes both from frustration and at the reminder of last night. "It went swell. Just hunky fucking dory." Her words dripped with sarcasm.

Jayden sat up. "What happened?"

"The inevitable."

"Try not to divulge too many details now." Jayden teased and nudged her.

Sam reluctantly turned on her side leaning on her elbow to face him preparing to recount the details. "Well, it's over." She caught Jayden giving her a sign to go one. "He thinks there's something going on between us. Or better yet that I have feelings for you. I told him I didn't but I dunno... he was convinced of it."

"What? I thought I cleared that up with him." Jayden shook his head in disbelief.

"I know but... wait. What do you mean you cleared that up with him?" Sam asked perplexed.

"I mean that I spoke to him about it and I assured him that there was nothing between us." He explained.

Sam was confused. "When did this happen? And what now you guys are talking about me behind my back?" She sat up.

"No! It's not like that. Calm down. The other day at Carly's when you two went upstairs we sorta talked things out and I knew that was a concern of his so I wanted to clear it up, for your sake."

It was Sam's turn to snigger. "Oh you really cleared it up."

"Come one, dude. I was just trying to help. Besides he seemed fine so maybe something else set him off." He suggested.

Sam froze and stared at Jayden. "Oh something else. Of course and that something else must've been me right?"

Jayden could tell that Sam was getting pissed. "Dude, chill out. I'm not blaming you I was merely suggesting that perhaps something else set him off."

"Don't tell me to chill out!" Sam snapped.

Jayden let his head fall back against the headboard. "Fine, whatever. Flip out all you want. You wanna blame me go right ahead."

"I will blame you. You and your stupid ex-girlfriend." She was shooting daggers out of her eyes.

"Oh so now it's her fault, too? Okay."

His indifference was infuriating. Sam tried to take a couple deep breaths. He was right, it was ridiculous to blame him and Kat. After a moment of telling herself she was being childish and breathing in and out she spoke in a calmer tone. "It's my fault. I don't like that chick and there was no way I was going to hide it, so he misinterpreted that as jealousy. I ruined everything."

Jayden didn't move. He turned his eyes to look at her. What was she talking about? "I'm not following."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Kat. I don't like her and you know me I can't pretend to be nice when someone really rubs me the wrong way. So... I might've said a few snide comments here and there."

He couldn't help but smile. "A few?" He chuckled and Sam shot him a glare. "Sorry, I don't mean to laugh but it's not a big deal I'm sure he'll understand if you explain it to him."

She let her head fall. She had no plans on explaining anything. It was done and that was that. She lay back down next to him. "I'm not gonna do that."

He turned to look at her and their eyes locked. He tried to read her motives but it didn't make sense to him. He watched her look away and he realized that she was hurting. As determined as she sounded he could see that it was not an easy decision. He scooted down until he was laying next to her and turned on his side trying to give her the comfort of security. In order to get Sam to talk to you had make her feel safe. Sam turned to him with doe eyes, he knew this was his moment. "Why not?" he asked softly.

She averted making eyes contact but remained completely still. "It's never gonna work. Just take a look at how this all began. It didn't start off on good terms and everything that's followed has been just as fragile. And before you say that I'm just giving up, I'm not. I'm doing him a favor. Everything made sense up until yesterday." She sighed. "He and I are just too different."

He gave her a sympathetic half smile. "What changed?"

Sam curled up tighter. "I've been so caught up with everything going on. So blinded by my feelings and all this crap that I completely forgot about the real world. The real world surrounding us. We're in our senior year then that's it... high school is over... and he'll head to some great school." She turned her eyes to Jayden trying to see if he understood what she meant.

"You don't want to start something only to have it end." It was supposed to be a statement but came out more like a question after having had some a epiphany.

"Now you see my point." Sam affirmed.

"But don't they always say it's better to try than to just give up?" He understood where she was coming from but personally he thought she was going about it the wrong way.

"It's not worth the risk." And with that she turned away. Jayden knew that was the end of that conversation. They both lay in silence lost in their own thoughts. Sam thought about how this was a good decision and that she'd rather have Freddie in her life than not have him at all. This was the only way to secure that. Maybe she would be better off with Jayden, afterall they got along great. At least Jayden had only kissed Carly as opposed to what Freddie had done. It was easier to deal with, right? But she didn't feel the way she felt with Freddie. Nothing could compare to that. Jayden thought about last night. How he had broken up with a girl he once was in love with only to be kissed by another girl whom he never considered dating. He reached for his phone to see if he had any text messages. None. He figured it was better this way. He didn't think Sam would be too fond of the idea. Should I tell her? He wondered.

"Do you like me?" Sam abruptly broke the silence.

"What?" Jayden asked bewildered.

Sam turned to face him once again. "Didn't you like have a thing for me?" She had no idea where she had gotten the courage to ask him this. But for once she wasn't scared of rejection, it was like it didn't matter. That had to mean something.

"Um, uh well yeah. I did." He stammered.

"Did? So you don't anymore?" She asked curious. Did that mean he now have a thing for Carly? She wondered.

Jayden exhaled loudly. "I don't know, Sam. I mean I did but then after I found out about the whole Freddie thing I backed off and kinda settled into just friends. I haven't thought about you like that since." He responded honestly.

Sam gazed at him intently. He didn't know what to make of it. Where the hell was all this coming from? "What if I don't want to be 'just friends'?" She instinctively moved closer.

He desperately studied her trying to find some clue as to what she was up to. "Sam, What are you doing?"

"Nothing." She said innocently.

"Then why are you asking me this?" It suddenly dawned on him what she was doing. She was trying to see if Freddie was right. Her gaze was still fixed on him and he decided to prove her wrong. Without another word he moved in and closed the gap between them by pressing his lips against hers.

Sam quickly and instinctively jumped up. Shock written all over her face. "What are you doing?"

"It's what you wanted isn't it?" His expression was serious. "You wanted to see if there was any truth to Freddie's accusations, right?"

Her eyes went wide. "Are you mad?" She almost sounded like a child who had just gotten caught doing something wrong.

Jayden's expression softened. He decided to cut her some slack. "No. But what exactly are you thinking?"

Sam exhaled. What was she thinking? She didn't have a clue. She was acting on impulse, on confusion, on curiosity. "I'm sorry. This whole thing has me confused. I mean I shouldn't care whether he's right or not because it doesn't matter now but there was something else..."

"Somethin' else? What might that be?" He raised an eyebrow.

This was it. Either she was gonna let him know that she knew about him and Carly, because aside from Freddie's accusations it had bothered her that she had an unfavorable reaction to watching them kiss. "Aside from the Kat thing..." Her eyes darted around the room and she rocked herself on her heels. He gave her an 'I'm waiting' look. "Ah fine! I saw you and Carly kiss and it... it made me... feel... weird." That's the best way she could word it without feeling completely vulnerable.

Jayden was quiet while he processed her words. She knew? Why hadn't she said anything? Each second that went by made Sam feel stupid. "You knew this whole time?

"Yes, I knew! But more importantly why didn't you tell me? Do you like her now? What's going on?" She had managed to bring up the topic without having to deal with the 'weird feeling' she had felt.

Jayden's head spun as she bombarded him with so many questions. "Settle down you're giving me whiplash. Why didn't I tell you? Probably the same reason why you didn't bring it up before. Nothing is going on. We were just talking and it sorta happened." He was now pacing back and forth. Up until the kiss he had never thought of Carly as anything more than Sam's friend. He didn't want to cross that line but since last night she kept popping into his mind at random times and he would picture her with her signature bright smile. She was cute there was no doubt about that but she wasn't his type or so he figured.

"So what's gonna happen now? Remember I told you that she likes you!" As much as the actual kiss had upset her she didn't want Carly to get hurt.

"Don't worry. I handled it. I told her that it wasn't the time considering I had just broken up with Kat and she understood. Besides you know she's not really my type." He wasn't lying but a voice in the back of his head was a little more skeptical.

"Not your type? Well what the hell is wrong with her?" Suddenly Sam's defensive side emerged. She felt the need to defend her friend.

Jayden laughed in disbelief. "First you're upset that I did and now you're yelling at me because she's not my type? And wait a second... didn't you say you felt jealous?"

Sam's mouth went agape. "Not jealous! I said it weirded me out! And you didn't answer my question."

"Fine whatever. Why did it weird you out?" He ignored her other question once again.

"You know what I don't even know anymore. I don't even care that you kissed her, now. I'm more concerned about her." It was the truth. Suddenly her feelings from last night didn't even matter. She couldn't even remember why she had felt upset. She figured it was just her possessive nature. She's always had to share everything, when she was younger she shared everything with her twin sister and as she got older she split things with Carly.

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine then lets drop it."

"Ha! Not so fast." she pointed her finger at him. "Why is Carly not your type? She's funny, lovable, and all around awesome."

"I never said she wasn't awesome. I dunno Sam I never really thought of her that way. I mean there's nothing wrong with her but I've never been with someone so... so wholesome." He couldn't truly figure out what it was he was trying to express.

"Wholesome? That's your reason? You know what I think..." She turned upwards and tapped her chin with her index finger in a pensive manner.

"No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me anyway." He took a seat on her desk chair and watched her walk in a circle. Organizing her thoughts he assumed.

She paced in a small circle figuring out if what she was about to say a good idea and if she was truly free of conflicting emotions. She had been friends with Jayden long enough to know that he's made some bad choices when it came to girls, not just Kat although she was the worst. He always seemed to stay with the familiar, kinda like the group he ran with but perhaps he needed the opposite of that. Carly surely would have a good influence on him and he could get her to loosen up a bit. It was perfect, Sam thought. How she hadn't seen this before was beyond her but now was her chance to voice her opinion as well as her approval. She stopped pacing and walked and sat on the edge of her bed to face him. "So you say she's not your type right?" Jayden nodded. "Well what if what you need is not someone who is your type but someone who is completely outside of what you normally look for?"

He gave her a perplexed look.

"I'm saying look how 'wonderful' your past girlfriends have turned out. Shouldn't that tell you something? I honestly think you should give this a shot and I know you're not into her like that but just open yourself up to the possibility." She smiled enthusiastically. Sam could be such a softie when she wanted to.

Jayden laughed lightly. "I'm not saying yes, but I'm not saying no either. Just don't pester me about it."

Sam cheered in triumph. "Oh, trust me within a month you're gonna be head over heels."

They both laughed in unison.

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile at the iCarly studio...<strong>

Carly opened the door to the studio carrying her school books and backpack. She walked into the studio and noticed Freddie working on his tech cart and dropped her books onto a bean bag. "Hey, Freddie." She smiled. "I didn't know you were up here." A hint of surprise in her voice.

Freddie continued doing what he was doing. "Yeah, I wanted to work on some tech stuff. Do you need me to get out of here?" He asked. His tone of voice was flat and he looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep.

Carly became aware of his ragged appearance. "No..." she said warily and moved closer. "Are you okay?"

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You look like you haven't slept." Her expression suddenly turned from concern to excitement. "Oh my god! Did you and Sam pull an all nighter?" She hopped up and down gleefully.

Freddie's face contorted in confusion. "What are you talking about?" He honestly had no idea what Carly was talking about, last time he saw Sam was back at the venue. Had Sam not gone home with Carly?

"You and Sam! So I take it things are going realllllly gooooood!" her smile was wide.

He stared at her attempting to see if she was toying with him. Had Sam not spoken to her? He had texted her this morning but as expected didn't get a reply. He had considered calling but he figured it was best to give her some space. "Have you talked to Sam today?"

"Not yet. I called and texted her earlier but got nothing." Her smile was still plastered on her face. "Why? What happened?" The curiosity was beaming out her eyes.

He sighed lightly and rubbed his temples, he wasn't in the mood to deal with Carly's over giddiness. "Who did you go home with?" He spoke calmly trying not to lose his nerve.

"Jayden gave me a ride. Since you two abandoned me!" She said snootily.

Freddie began to worry. If Sam didn't go with them then how did she get home? The blood drained from his face, what if something happened to her? What if that was the reason she wasn't picking up? He turned his eyes back to Carly who was looking at him strangely. "Carly, I didn't go home with Sam. We got into a fight and I left. I thought she was with you."

Carly's expression went from excited to confused to concern and rage. "What? You left her? How could you leave her?" She pulled out her phone to call Sam.

"I didn't... I... I don't know what I was thinking..." A pang of guilt hit Freddie's chest. He couldn't move, he kept thinking something awful had happened to Sam.

"She's not picking up!" Carly cut through Freddie's thoughts. "What do we do? What if something happened to her?" Carly was in a panic.

Freddie shook his head to rid himself of his morbid thoughts. "No, no. She's fine. Sam's the toughest person I know. I'm sure she's at home sleeping or something. I mean we got in a fight she surely doesn't want to talk to me."

"You're right. You're right." Carly tried to calm herself. "I'll call Jayden maybe he's heard from her." Freddie nodded in agreement.

* * *

><p><strong>Back at Sam's...<strong>

Sam and Jayden sat on the couch in the living room watching an episode of That 70s Show. They both laughed. "You know what I just realized?"

"What?" Sam asked as she took a spoonful of cookies n cream ice cream.

"Jackie and Hyde are like you and Freddie. Only you're Hyde and he's Jackie." He laughed.

"At least I'm the cool one." Sam said passively.

Jayden's phone began to ring. He pulled it out and noticed it was Carly. It was odd that she was calling him, even more so considering they had kissed the previous night.

"Who is it?" Sam asked looking over to see. Jayden turned his phone to show her. She looked at him and noticed a terrified look on his face. "Well answer it!"

He snapped out of it and picked up. "Hu- uh hello..." Sam rolled her eyes at his lame greeting.

"Jayden!" Carly shouted into the phone that he had to back his ear away from it.

"Yeah?" He asked confused.

"Have you seen or talked to Sam today?" She asked rushed and panicky.

"Uh... yeah I'm sitting right next to her." He turned to look at Sam who gave him a questioningly look.

"Oh you are? Thank goodness!" relief could be heard in her voice. "I've been trying to reach her all day! Could you tell her to call me later?"

"Yeah, will do." He replied.

"Okay, thanks. Bye." The line went dead and Jayden turned to look at Sam wondering what the hell had just happened.

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><p><strong>Back at the studio...<strong>

"She's fine! She's with Jayden." Carly notified Freddie.

She was with Jayden. This whole day he didn't want to pester her and give her space and she was with him? He was glad that she was safe but why him? She hadn't even spoken to Carly but she went to him? It was clear to him that he had been right. Sam had feelings for Jayden and took his advice and made her decision. She had chosen Jayden.

"Freddie? Did you hear me? Sam's with –"

"I heard you." His voice was void of any emotion. "That's great. I'll see you later, Carly." He grabbed his tech tools and headed for the door with a blank expression. He didn't know what he felt. He couldn't even begin to process what his thoughts were saying.

"Freddie...? Are you..." Carly tried calling after him but the door shut before she could finish. "okay?" She said to the empty space previously occupied by Freddie. What the hell was going on? This couldn't be good.

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><p><strong>So, this should hold you over until the next chapter which I have begun writing today. Read and Review.<strong>


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I truly have no excuses for not updating sooner. I apologize for taking this long but life is unexpected. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and thank you for the reviews/alerts/favorites, etc. I appreciate it all! And I know some wanted this to become a Sam/Jayden fic but I simply can't do that my heart is with Seddie. Perhaps once I'm done I can give you guys a one shot or something, but for now it is Seddie and yes they have tons of ups and downs but it will all work out for them. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 19: Logic Will Break Your Heart pt. 2<br>**

Carly stood at her locker switching out the books she needed for her first class. "Sup, Carlotta." Sam greeted as she walked over to her locker.

"Don't 'hey' me!" Carly turned to her with her best intimidating face. "Where the hell were you all weekend? I've been trying to reach you and you disappeared!"

Sam stared at her blankly. "What can I say? I've been busy." She shrugged.

Carly narrowed her eyes. "Busy? Soooo busy that you didn't have time to call your best friend! Yes, best friend!"

"Pretty much." She said nonchalantly. Sam looked over Carly's shoulder and noticed Freddie heading for the door. "Well, kid I gotta split. See you later." Sam turned around and walked down the hall.

Freddie approached Carly. It was not lost on him that Sam had suddenly walked off in the opposite direction. "Where is she off to so quickly?"

Carly turned to him surprised at his sudden presence. "Oh, she has this class thing." She lied covering for Sam.

Freddie cynically smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure she did."

"Why don't you just tell me what's going on?" Carly implored.

Freddie sighed and he shrugged. "There's nothing to tell. I'll see you later, Carly." He waved carelessly and headed for the stairs.

Carly leaned against her locker looking at the direction Sam walked off to and back to Freddie. Something had happened but neither of them would tell her. She was getting frustrated. She wasn't stupid she could tell that they were avoiding each other. Well at least Sam was. Carly was determined to get to the bottom of this.

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><p><strong>A few days later…<strong>

It was late at night near midnight and Carly rested half way sitting on her bed talking on the phone. She looked frazzled, "This is getting ridiculous! Neither of them has spoken to each other let alone been in the same room for more than five minutes! I can't take this any longer. We need to do something!" She ran her right hand through her dark locks in exasperation.

"Maybe they need space. I mean it's only been like 3 days how can you be sure they're really avoiding each other?" Jayden replied trying to calm her down.

Carly's eyes widened. "I'm not imagining things! Like today at lunch Sam took one look at me and when she saw Freddie she decided to sit with Reuben. Reuben!" She raised her arm for emphasis. "Sam hates him!" She shrieked.

Jayden couldn't help but suppress his laughter on the other end at Carly's frazzled state. "Okay…" He covered the phone to muffle his chuckle.

Carly caught a hint of his amused tone. "Are you laughing?" She asked in disbelief.

"I'm sorry." He laughed quietly. "You need to loosen up a bit. I get it things are awkward right now but they can't avoid each other forever. I mean you yourself said you were filming iCarly tomorrow, so…"

"They're gonna have to talk! And interact!" A light bulb went on in her head. She had been so worried about Sam and Freddie that she had forgotten about the return of iCarly. Although, she had to admit it had given her a reason to talk to Jayden and in that aspect she had no complaints.

"See?" He said reassuringly.

She smiled coyly to herself. "Thanks, Jayden. You know for listening to me vent my frustrations."

"No worries." He smiled and Carly could practically sense it through the phone making her cheeks blush.

"Well, I should probably go to sleep. But before I go I was wondering… if maybe… you wanted to come watch us film iCarly? I mean if you're not busy of course." She said nervously.

He smiled to himself completely aware of her nerves which he found pretty endearing. Maybe Sam had been right. Maybe what he needed was someone unlike him, someone like Carly. But if that was the case he felt Sam should follow her own advice. Unfortunately, she had her mind made up and was convinced she was doing Freddie and everyone else a favor. "Sounds good. What time should I be there?" He said in his most casual tone.

Carly pressed the phone to her pillow and squealed while kicking her legs up and down in excitement. She gathered her composure and brought the phone back to her ear. "How's 5 sound?"

"Oh… I can't do 5 cause I'm helping my uncle with the shop." Carly's heart sank. "But I can show up around 530 if that's okay?"

"Oh no problem. That's fine you'll just have to be quiet when you come into the studio." She beamed.

He released a small chuckle. "Gotcha. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow. Goodnight." She said dreamily.

"Night, Carly."

After the call ended Carly settled into her bed and pulled her blankets around her. She snuggled up completely content with the night's turn of events and ready for a peaceful sleep.

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><p><strong>The following day at Ridgeway High…<strong>

Sam wandered the halls aimlessly. Desperately avoiding her trig class the last thing she wanted to do was listen to Ms. Morgan babble on about sine, cosine, and tangent. Hell the fact that she even knew those terms was enough to put her to sleep. Sam meandered up the stairs towards the third floor. It was usually pretty deserted and there was less chance of her being caught by Ms. Briggs or Mr. Howard. She pulled her phone out and began playing Angry Ostrich, she was determined to pass level 20. Sam continued strolling down the hall completely engrossed in the game not paying attention to her surroundings, and when she turned the corner she ran smack into someone dropping her phone. "Dammit!" She huffed. "Walk much?" She spat crouching down to pick up her phone not bothering to look up.

"Hey." The voice said.

Sam instantly froze at the recognition of that voice. She picked up her phone and stood back up finally making eye contact with Freddie. It had been days since she had been this close to him; she had almost forgotten what being so close to him made her feel. "Sup." She raised her eyebrows and nodded awkwardly. This was definitely now how she wanted to reacquaint with him. She had planned to see him later at Carly's before filming the show and make small talk to ease the tension but this, she wasn't prepared for this. He just stared at her, as if he was trying to read her mind. "Well I gotta get to class." She stepped to the side and began to walk away.

"Sam." He spoke without turning, his tone sounded like a plea.

She stopped. Her mind was practically shouting at her to keep walking but she couldn't. She shut her eyes willing herself to move. Nothing. "What?" She finally asked unsure but still giving in.

Freddie turned to look at her but her back was to his. He shook his head. This was ridiculous. Was she still planning on avoiding him face to face? "You're avoiding me." He firmly stated.

That caused her to turn around and face him. Her face wore an incredulous expression. Sam scoffed, "I'm not." She lied.

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Really? So where the hell have you been?" He wasn't going to let her bullshit her way out of this one.

Sam caught his aggressive tone that automatically ignited her stubborn, challenging streak. "Busy." She said through narrowed eyes.

"What?" He was in disbelief. She was really gonna play this game. Freddie was tired. All week he had dealt with her disappearing acts which only further confirmed his suspicions that she was doing it because she didn't want to face him and the idea that she had chosen Jayden. That she was with Jayden. Those words sent a pang to his chest without warning. "You know what that's it." He said before grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her down the hall.

"What the he—" She was unable to finish her sentence when Freddie shuffled both their bodies into the janitor's closet. Once inside Freddie let go of her arm and stood in the doorway.

"What the hell, Benson?" She protested. She charged for the door but Freddie blocked her exit causing her to shoot him a death glare.

"Calm down." He said pointedly. Her eyes rose to meet his with a mixture of disbelief and rage. It actually terrified him a bit. "We need to talk." He tried to elaborate to calm the anger building inside the petite blonde.

"I have nothing to say." She challenged him, the memory of their last conversation still vivid in her mind.

"Then just listen." That caused her to fall back. She wasn't used to this side of Freddie. Normally she could shout or intimidate her way out of any situation with him but he had managed to slowly break down her tenacity. "Can you do that?" He was waiting for her reply.

Not wanting to fully back down she rolled her eyes and shrugged. That was all he was going to get out of her. He shook his head, Jesus Christ she was difficult! But he didn't want to push her further and decided to accept her half hearted shrug as a 'yes.' He paced back and forth trying to find the words he wanted to say to her. Trying to figure out the best way to say it and more importantly trying to find the strength to do it. Sam watched him pace back and forth. She was able to sense his nerves. It made her soften a little. Why did things always have to be so hard between them? She was going to speak up when Freddie turned to look at her with determination in his eyes.

"Sam…" He hesitated for a second before turning his eyes back to her. "Sam, we've been friends forever. Best friends, even." Pause. He took a deep breath and exhaled causing his shoulders to slump. "Look, these past few days have been terrible. I don't like that we're not speaking. I don't like that you feel the need to stay away from me. I know that you're upset with me about Saturday and you have every right to be. I shouldn't have blown up on you like that. I apologize for the manner in which I handled the situation. But…" He paused trying to recollect his thoughts. "If I have learned anything this week is that no matter what your friendship- our friendship," he signaled between them, "means the world to me. I don't want to lose that over a fight." He began to pace again it was obvious to Sam that he was struggling with the words. He turned his eyes to her, his deep chocolate eyes. "I know that sometimes these things happen. I know that we don't choose who we fall for. Trust me I know." His tone had become gentler. "You don't have to avoid me, okay? I just want you to know that it's okay. I'm not going to hold it against you. I don't hold it against you now. I rather have you in my life as my friend than not have you in it at all. You have to believe that." He gripped her shoulders to emphasize that he really meant it. Sam was confused. What was he talking about? "Look I can't say that I'm thrilled but I have to respect your choice. I'm sure that with time it'll get better but for now that's all that I can do."

Wait, what? It suddenly dawned on her that Freddie was talking about Jayden. He thought she had chosen Jayden? She shook her head. "No, Fre—"

"Please let me finish." He implored. "We have a show together that I really enjoy being a part of and I know that you love it just as much, not to mention Carly. So, let's put this behind us and just be us again. This is our senior year I don't want to spend it without my two best friends before we head out to college." Sadness was apparent in his whole expression especially his deep brown eyes.

And there it was again. College. His words reminded her of the reasons why she had decided it was best to end things now. As much as she wanted to tell him he was wrong, that she hadn't chosen Jayden that she would choose him right this moment if things weren't so complicated- she couldn't. Maybe this was better. Maybe it would help him let her go easier.

"So?" His words cut through her reverie. She nodded and half-heartedly smiled.

"We can do that." She softly said trying to give him whatever little comfort she could. She saw a small smile pull on his lips, however it wasn't a real Freddie smile, it didn't reach his eyes. In a swift movement he closed the gap between them and enveloped her in a tight hug. Sam squeezed her eyes shut at the feeling of him. She breathed him in trying to memorize every part of this moment unaware that Freddie was doing the exact same thing.

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><p><strong>Minutes prior to show time…<strong>

"I'm so glad that we're back to iCarly!" Carly said from the kitchen. Sam sat at the island absent mindedly dipping her spoon in and out of her pudding. "Are you ready?" Carly asked Sam.

No response.

"Hello?" Carly stared at Sam who looked completely lost in her thoughts. Freddie's words kept replaying in her head. How could he think that she'd chosen Jayden and worse why didn't she say anything? That part kept biting at her. She had rationalized it at that moment but now it just seemed cruel. "Earth to Sam!" Carly slapped her hand down on the counter.

"Huh? What?" Sam asked suddenly jerking up.

"I've been talking to you for the past five minutes and you've been somewhere else." Carly stated. "What's wrong?"

Sam took a spoonful of pudding into her mouth. "Nothing." She said with a full mouth.

"Then why are you so distant? Are you and Freddie still fighting?" She questioned. Her concern evident. "Because we have a show to do and you guys can't be fighting."

Sam lifted her eyes off the counter and looked at Carly. "Don't worry we're not fighting. We already talked it out." She sighed.

"So then what's wrong? And I thought you said there was nothing going on. How can you talk something out if nothing was going on? I swear you guys never tell me anything anymore!" She sighed in frustration.

Was she really making this about her? Whatever, Sam wasn't in the mood to deal with it she had bigger problems on her mind. "Because there's nothing to tell. I already told you we're fine. So can we please drop it?"

"Fine." Carly said defeated.

Sam didn't want to fight with Carly, especially before filming the show. "Come on let's go get ready for the show." She smiled in hopes of lightening the mood.

...

"And we're clear!" Freddie declared stopping the feed on the lap top. He set his camera down. "That was great! Feels good to get back into the swing of things." He wore a bright, genuine smile. Sam couldn't help but smile back.

The studio door opened. "Hey, guys! Awesome job on the show." Jayden said stepping in. All three pairs of eyes turned to him but Sam's quickly shifted back to Freddie. Crap.

"You made it!" Carly grinned. "I didn't think you were."

"Yeah, I got here late and I didn't want to interrupt you guys in the middle of the show so I watched it downstairs with Spencer." Jayden explained.

Carly smiled.

"I didn't know you were coming." Sam stated looking away from Freddie who was quietly standing by his cart and turned her eyes towards Jayden.

"Yeah, Carly invited me last night. Oh before I forget," he pulled out a CD from his back pocket, "I brought that CD you wanted last time." He handed it to her.

"Oooh!" Sam eagerly grabbed it looking it over. Freddie watched the whole exchange and felt like a ton of bricks had settled in his stomach.

"I'm gonna head home." Freddie suddenly announced. Sam's eyes immediately turned to him.

"Why? I thought we were gonna hang out." Carly questioned.

"Got a ton of homework." He stated flatly. "See ya later." Freddie took one last glance at Sam and then the CD in her hand before exiting the studio.

Sam knew the real reason why Freddie had abruptly decided to leave was because of Jayden. Did he not realize that he wasn't even there for her, that he was there because Carly had invited him? She had to tell him the truth. It was unfair to him. Sam began heading towards the door.

"And where are you going? Don't tell me you're leaving, too!" Carly suddenly asked.

Sam casually turned, trying not to set off any alarms in Carly's head. "To grab a snack." She said it as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. She turned around and headed out the door. As she descended each stair her anxiety grew. She reached Carly's empty living room and headed for the front door. Spencer came running out of his room stopping Sam in her tracks much to her annoyance.

"I just came up with the greatest idea for my next sculpture! Wanna know?" Spencer was bouncing off the balls of his heels with excitement.

"No." Sam said shooing him away continuing on her path leaving a dumbfounded Spencer behind.

Sam lifted her fist to knock on the door only to let it drop for the fifth time. She didn't know how to approach the situation. Should she knock? Should she just walk in? Then there was Crazy to deal with. She was about to turn around but the image of Freddie's pained expression appeared and she knew it was something she had to do- the sooner the better. _Fuck it._ She raised her fist and knocked. Withing a few seconds Crazy opened the door and greeted her with a scowl.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I'm here to see Freddie." Sam said in her least bitchy tone.

"He's busy working on homework." Marissa said in hopes of sending her away.

"That's why I'm here." Sam lied. "We have to work on a project together."

Marissa eyed her suspiciously. "Where are your books?"

"Books?" Sam asked perplexed. She hadn't really thought this through.

"Yes, books, dummy. You know those with words inside of them." She spoke with a snarky tone.

Lucky, for Sam she was a quick thinker. She sarcastically chuckled before retorting, "We don't need books. That's what the internet is for now if you excuse me I'm going to go get started on that." She made her way in much to Crazy's disapproval.

She walked down the hall and approached Freddie's bedroom. Her nerves were at an all time high. She knocked.

"Come in." Freddie said from inside.

Sam slowly opened the door and peeked in before opening the door wider. He turned to look at her and froze. Sam hesitantly entered his room. "Hey." Her voice was small.

Freddie stared at her perplexed that she was here, right now. "Uh, hey." He said warily.

Sam stepped inside; her hand lingered on the doorknob unsure of whether or not to shut the door. After a few seconds she decided to shut it as it previously was. "What are you up to?" She asked lamely in hopes of breaking the ice.

Freddie watched her and signaled around his room silently answering her question. Sam smacked her lips together, "right." Her eyes darted around his room trying to come up with a way to tell him what she came to tell him. She spotted the window that led to the fire escape and made her way to it. She sighed as she took in the view of the city. "I haven't been out here in a while. Kinda miss it." She ducked through the window out into the fire escape. She was stalling. She was fully aware of it but she didn't know how to bring it up. She secretly prayed that he would be the one to just come out and say something about it.

Freddie watched her disappear through the window. What was she doing here? He wondered. After today's events he was worn out. He didn't have it in him to do this with Sam right now. He didn't want to be mean after all he had meant every word he said to her but that didn't mean he didn't need space to deal. Freddie ducked out the window onto his fire escape.

Sam glanced at him before returning her blue eyes to the city view. "It's no wonder you spend a lot of time out here." She said in regards to the view.

"What are you doing here, Sam?" It came out a little harsher than he had meant but it was out and he really needed to understand.

She blinked at the sound of his questions it was what she had wanted, for him to bring it up but she didn't realize how much it would sting. Sam turned to face him and took in his worn features that broke her heart. She was doing this to him. She shook the thoughts away. "You left."

Freddie looked away unable to handle the look her eyes were boring into him. "Yeah, well I had things to do." He attempted to shrug it off.

"Yeah, I can see that." She hated when he was standoffish. It only made her want to push more.

Freddie scoffed and shook his head. As much as he cared for her she had the ability to drive him crazy. All he wanted was to be alone and here she was confusing him and to top it off being a smartass. "Why are you here? Shouldn't you be over at Carly's with _him_? He's the one you chose afterall." His words laced with bitterness.

Sam was taken aback by the sharpness in his voice. "So today—"

"I meant what I said." He cut her off. "Everything I told you still stands." He reassured. "But… it doesn't mean I don't need time and space. I can't simply go back to normal from one day to the next." He exhaled. "It hur—" His words were faded as he took in the sight of a smirking almost chuckling Sam. He blinked a few times in disbelief trying to wrap his head around what was going on. Was she seriously laughing at him? "Are you kidding me? You think this is funny?" His voice rising.

Sam shook her head and bit her lip to restrain a smile. "No! No, I'm not laughing at you." She walked closer to him and her features soften into a loving expression. "You're so stupid." She held his face between her hands. "I didn't choose him. I never did. He's not even here to see me I'm pretty sure he's here for Carly." She looked directly into his chocolate eyes.

He tried to take in her words trying to understand what it meant and what she was saying. She hadn't chosen Jayden. He wrapped his hands around her wrists and exhaled a breath of relief and reveled in the feeling of her touch. But then it hit him. If she wasn't with Jayden then why the hell hadn't she said anything before? Why did she let him believe he had lost her? The relief he had suddenly felt was replaced by hurt and anger. Freddie pulled her hands away from him and stepped back. It shocked Sam. She stared at him with confusion. "Wait, if you're not with him then why did you let me think you were? You let me go on and on about how I respected your choice and the whole time it wasn't even true? Do you realize how difficult these past few days have been?"

Sam shrunk into herself from the guilt. "I tried." She practically whispered.

"Tried?" He questioned.

"Yes! I tried but you told me to let you finish. You didn't let me interrupt you." She defended.

"And you don't think you could've tried harder? I mean… Sam! You allowed me to believe that you had chosen someone else. That I had lost you…" He was torn between anger and relief. He rushed towards her and wrapped is arms around her in a tight hug. "You don't know how scared I was." He whispered into her hair.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. She pulled away shaking her head. "Freddie…"

"What?" He asked concerned.

She tried to collect her thoughts. "I… this…" She stumbled over her words. Sam walked around him towards the stairs and turned to him with more conviction. "I didn't choose him but I didn't choose you either."

"Wha… What are you talking about?" He attempted to reach out to her but she dodged his hand.

"I mean that I wanted you to know. I wanted to clear things up because it wasn't fair to let you believe something that wasn't true but that… that doesn't change things…" She looked down unable to look at him. "between us."

"Sam, come on." Freddie wanted to reason with her.

"No, Freddie you come on. We," she signaled between the two, "are too different. Look how quickly things blew up. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that we don't work." She sighed in frustration. Part of her really believed in what she was saying but another part of her was screaming that she was wrong.

"You can't honestly draw conclusions from one night. I've told you before that's who we are—"

"No!" She vigorously shook her head. "That doesn't mean it should be that way. No. We want different things in life. Seriously let's just drop this. I really appreciated what you said to me today and I hope that you still mean it." She was desperately trying to keep things civil she didn't want to lose him either but she didn't want to hold him back and in her heart she truly felt that in the end that's exactly what she would do. Sam began to make her way to the window. Freddie grabbed her arm and Sam turned to look at him. His eyes bore into hers and she could see the twinkle from the buildup of tears. She quickly looked away unable to contain the stinging pain in her chest.

"I did mean what I said." He barely whispered and let her go. Sam ducked her head and began to make her way to the door. Her feet felt heavy like iron and she had to force her way to the door because all she really wanted to do was stay. Freddie remained still his eyes forward but not looking at anything. Sam's words kept revolving in his head. She didn't want to be with him and it hurt. He remembered the last time she had walked away… the last time he had let her walk away- when she had walked in on him and Carly. He had regretted that day and had wished he had gone after her and now here he was in a similar situation. Time and time again he wished he had been honest with her, had been honest about his feelings. She knew how he felt didn't she? Had he been clear? Maybe but she was still leaving so there was a chance that she didn't understand the depth of his feelings. Letting go of the girl he honestly didn't want to let go wasn't something he could allow to happen again. Could he? Could he live with himself? No the answer was no and something deep inside kick started him into gear. He ducked through the window in time to catch Sam at the door. "I love you."

Sam halted. The words echoing in her head. He loved her. He actually declared that he loved her. There was a pang in her chest and knots in her stomach. _Don't turn around. Keep walking._ The air around her felt thick and time appeared to standstill. Seconds ticked away like minutes. She swallowed hard never turning around. "I know… but don't." her voice cracked at the end. She turned the doorknob and made her way out his house as quickly as her feet could carry her.

Her words lingered around him. They had felt like a kick to his heart. He had professed his love- officially- and she still walked away. Did she even love him? After all she had never said the words, had she? His eyes brimmed with tears and slid down his face when he closed his eyes. It wasn't enough. He had meant every word about wanting her in his life as a friend than not but he couldn't help feel anger from her rejection. Anger from everything and frustration from the rollercoaster ride he had been on for the past years. He didn't hate her. He could never hate her but right now he just didn't want to be near or around her. He needed time. He was going to need time. His heart had just shattered like glass and something inside him broke. Things weren't going to be the same at least not any time soon, he could feel it. He was done and if Sam didn't want to be with him then he was going to accept it.

...

Sam staggered into the hall there was no way she was going into Carly's apartment. She ran to the stairs and began making her way down. She was moving so fast that she lost her balance and slide down the short flight of stairs and began to weep hysterically. Never had she seen Freddie cry and never had she seen him look so broken. He had said "I love you" and all she could say was "don't" how could she do that? Why did things always fall apart when it came to her? She hoped that someday he'd understand that she did it for him.

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><p><strong>Read and Review!<strong>


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Yay! I updated. **

**Disclaimer: iCarly is not mine, but Jayden is!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 20: In the Day<strong>

**A month later…**

Sam sat on Carly's couch watching an episode of Full House eating fried chicken. "Want some iced tea?" Carly offered from the kitchen.

"Definitely, I need something to wash down this chicken." Sam responded barely glancing over at Carly.

Carly smiled at her overeating friend she often wondered how Sam managed to keep the weight off. "Here ya go wash it down quickly we have 10 minutes before we start iCarly." She said handing the blonde a tall glass of iced tea.

"What's the rush? The nub isn't even here yet." Sam said between bites of her chicken leg.

"Yes, he is. He's been upstairs for about an hour." Carly informed and took Sam's now empty glass and set it on the counter.

Sam glanced down in thought as she swallowed the last bite. For the last couple weeks things had been a little weird between her and Freddie. Granted they had gotten better but still it wasn't back to normal, although she hadn't truly expected it to be. Sam had assumed the first couple weeks would be hard but she never expected this. Freddie had been true to his word and still spoke to her and they still hung out however he was more guarded and distant and they never hung out without Carly or someone around. She tried to remain understanding and not push him but she had to admit this distance hurt. _Whatever, it's what you wanted._ She thought. Sam broke from her train of thought and noticed Carly staring at her. "What?" She asked harshly and turned away.

Carly silently sighed. She knew both of her best friends were not okay but both seemed insistent on putting up this front. It did her no good to try and pry information out of Sam, she wouldn't budge. "Ready?" She asked. Sam nodded and both girls headed up the stairs.

_Ever Fallen In Love? by the Buzzcocks plays from the studio_

As they approached the third floor they began to hear the muffled sounds of music. Carly opened the door and both girls witnessed a concentrating Freddie working on some tech stuff singing along to the chorus.

_Ever fallen in love?  
>In love with someone<br>Ever fallen in love? (Love…)  
>In love with someone<br>You shouldn't've fallen in love with…_

Freddie was completely unaware that the girls were standing at the door. The words to the song that he was playing from his laptop were not lost on Sam and a wave of guilt and sadness came over her. Not wanting to hear anymore Sam purposely shut the door hard in hopes of getting Freddie's attention.

_Bang!_

He quickly turned around and noticed the two girls' presence. Freddie fumbled with the keyboard and shut off the music feeling like he had just been walked in on a personal moment. "Hey guys." He smiled but it was strained.

"Having fun?" Carly lightly teased and made her way towards the center.

Freddie looked at Sam. "Just working on some tech stuff before iCarly." He went back to his laptop to focus on anything but the look Sam was giving him.

Sam couldn't help but look at him. Clearly the song was directed at her, she wasn't stupid so did this mean that this is what he did in his spare time? Listen to songs about failed romances? That would actually explain a lot of his behavior, still though she didn't blame him. "Hi." She greeted. "What were you working on?" She moved next to him and faked interest. All she really wanted was to have some type of real conversation and be close to him, at least physically since he was pushing her away in every other way.

"Larger hard drive for storage." He replied in monotone and made sure to move away. Freddie couldn't really deal with being close to her it hurt too much. He knew that it probably hurt her but he couldn't help it being close to her made him feel things, things that she made clear he shouldn't feel so he did what he had to do. After all, it's what she wanted, right?

Sam instantly felt the vacant spot next to her. She sighed. It was clear to her that he didn't want to be near her and as much as she tried to fight it, it made her angry at him. Was it selfish? Probably. Did she have the right to be upset? Not likely. But goddamn it! She couldn't help it his behavior was pissing her off. "Whatever." She muttered under her breath.

Freddie continued to pretend to be occupied and caught her 'whatever'. He wanted to give her an explanation but his pride wouldn't allow it. _Where does she get off getting mad at me? She wanted it this way. I'm giving her what she wanted._ He told himself and chose to ignore it. Once he noticed Sam move away from his peripheral vision he went back to set up for iCarly. "Alright, guys." He threw Sam's remote at her who caught it with a little more force than necessary. "In five, four, three, two," he pointed for the one.

...

"And… we're clear." He put his camera down and finished shutting down the computer.

Carly's phone began to go off. "Ooooh!" She squealed, "It's Jayden! I'll be back." And before anyone said anything she was out the door leaving Sam and Freddie alone for the first time in weeks.

"Gee, boy crazy, that one." Sam pointed at the door and smiled trying to decrease the awkwardness.

Freddie turned back to look at the door then to Sam and shrugged. That's it? He couldn't at least answer her?

"So…" Sam fidgeted with her fingers. Freddie looked up when she didn't continue speaking. "How are you?" She finally finished once his eyes were on her. She honestly wanted to know.

Freddie stared at her for a moment. _How am I? I hate this! I'm miserable! I miss you and I love you and I wished you loved me too._ He shouted in his mind. "I'm good." He said nonchalantly.

_Good? _He was infuriating! "Seriously, Benson? That's it?" _When the fuck had the tables turned? _She wondered.

He raised his eyebrow. "What do you want me to say?"

"Hmm. Gee… I don't know. How about the truth?" She challenged.

He couldn't help but smirk in cynically. "Is my answer not satisfying? Did you expect something else?" He challenged back. _Hmm when did the tables turn? _He mused.

"What? No. I…" She sighed. "Forget it." She began to make her way towards the door but something inside her made her stop. "You know… I never expected things to go back to normal but this, this I didn't expect. You promised we wouldn't stop being friends."

Freddie shut his eyes. He was hurting her. "I know." He looked at her. To be honest he hadn't expected this either but he needed space. He needed time. If she just allowed him the time he wouldn't have to push her away. "I simply need time. I'm working on it but you have to understand that I need time." Time and space to get over her, how was he supposed to move on if he was always around her? He nudged her, "but hey we're still friends. I still care about you." He smiled and for the first time it was a sincere smile, a little sad but still a real Freddie smile. Sam couldn't help but return it.

Everything in her body screamed to reach out and touch him. To tell him she cared too that she always has but she couldn't, she had to fight it. "Take whatever time you need. I'll see you later." She genuinely said before walking out the studio.

...

"Hey." Sam said as she walked into Carly's room. "Finally off the phone?"

Carly smiled. "Yes, it was just a quick call. Where's Freddie?" She asked looking behind Sam.

"Said he had things to do. So you and Jayden are really hitting it off, eh?" She quickly tried to return the focus on the brunette.

Carly sighed and dropped her shoulders. "I guess."

"You guess? Why do you say that?" Sam questioned, interested.

"Because!" She huffed. "It's been weeks and he hasn't even asked me out!" Carly suddenly turned to Sam and grabbed her shoulders. "You talk to him don't you? Has he said anything? Does he even like me?" Her eyes pleaded.

Sam gave her a freaked out look and slowly backed away. "Carls, you need to chill out. I'm sure if he didn't like you he wouldn't hang out with you as much." She reasoned.

"Then why hasn't he asked me out?" She asked pointedly.

Sam thought about it for a moment but came up with no concrete answer. "Um…" She hesitated.

The brunette's eyes bulged. "See! I knew it! He doesn't like me!" She dropped down onto a beanbag heavily.

"He does!" Sam rolled her eyes. "Jay, he's just not…" She pouted in thought then took a seat in the beanbag next to Carly. "He doesn't know how to go about things the way you're used to. I'm pretty certain he's never actually officially said the words "do you want to go out?" or "do you want to be my girlfriend?" he's more of the type that kinda assumes those things depending on the signals he receives." She roughly explained.

Carly looked confused and it took a moment before responding. "That's stupid."

Sam laughed. "Yeah, well…" She shrugged, "Guys are stupid." Carly nodded in agreement joining in with Sam's laughter.

* * *

><p><strong>A week later…<strong>

"Why are we here?" Sam asked annoyed. She along with Carly and Spencer were standing in Bushwell Plaza's parking lot.

"Be patient." Carly spoke. "Freddie said he had something to show us. He seemed really excited."

"Well it better be food." The blonde huffed and tapped her foot impatiently. Spencer was about to say something about her eating no less than 20 minutes ago but was cut off by the return of Freddie.

"Okay guys!" He clapped his hands together. "Are you ready?"

"Yes!" Carly said trying to be supportive.

"Let's see it!" Spencer added.

"Let's get on with it." Sam gestured with her hand rather bored.

"Great!" Freddie said and motioned for them to follow him. "This way."

"Uh! More walking?" Sam complained but complied.

Freddie ignored her and continued to lead. He suddenly stopped and turned to the three. "Well here it is!" All three looked around the parking lot confused as to what Freddie was showing them. He noticed the confused looks and rolled his eyes before walking over to stand next to a used 2005 Honda Civic. His lips spread into a huge grin, "This is my new car!" He exclaimed. "My mom got it for me today. Somewhat of an early graduation present."

Spencer and Carly broke into cheers and congratulated Freddie. "Awesome!" "Yay!" Sam stood back smiling at how happy Freddie looked. She couldn't help but feel happy that he was happy. However, she was still unsure of how to approach him or what to say. Sam walked over and looked around at the car buying time. She made a full circle and reached Freddie who was now standing somewhat alone since Carly and Spencer were now inspecting the inside of the car.

Freddie looked at Sam and noticed her eyeing the car. "So what do you think?"

She turned to him a little surprised. It had been a while since he had directly spoken to her. It felt slightly foreign. "It's great." She smiled. "Suits you."

"Yeah? How so?" He was intrigued by her statement.

She turned her blue eyes upwards, looking at him through her lashes then slowly turned away to look at the car once more. "Well…" She walked in front of the vehicle. "It's nice… reliable… not showy or flashy. Simple but still makes hard to ignore..." She gazed off into space after her last sentence aware she wasn't really talking about the car anymore. "It's great, really." She looked at him once again and noticed Freddie's loving gaze. Her heart sped up and she felt a panic rack her body. Sam quickly smiled and began to make her way towards the building before Freddie said anything.

Freddie listened to her speak. He was able to catch the change in her tone which caused him to watch her intently. His heart began to beat hard against his chest. He didn't want her to have this effect on him but he couldn't help it anymore than she could. He felt the urge to hold her but he knew it was a bad idea. He snapped out of his thoughts when his deep brown eyes connected to her deep sapphire eyes. Freddie watched her walk away suppressing all feelings to chase her, to try and reason with her, change her mind but it was useless. She had made it clear time and time again. After all, he'd said he loved her and she asked him not to.

* * *

><p><strong>Next day at Ridgeway…<strong>

Sam walked into Ridgeway the halls were deserted. "Shit!" She was late. Her mother was sleeping off a hangover and had forgotten to drive her to school. Same made her way to her locker to get the book she needed before running off to class, the last thing she wanted was shit from her teachers. After grabbing her book she slammed her locker shut she turned around only to run into Ms. Briggs. _Great_.

"Ah, well look who we have here, none other than Ms. Samantha Puckett. Late are we?" Ms. Briggs crossed her arms over her chest.

"I needed a book. I'm on my way to class." Sam said annoyed and began to make her way past Ms. Briggs.

"Not so fast." She put her hand in front of the blonde to stop her.

Sam rolled her eyes in complete irritation, "What is it? I'm trying to get to class."

"As much as I'd like to believe that, which I don't! You need to go see Principal Franklin." Briggs ordered.

"Oh, come on! For what? For being late?" This was bullshit.

Briggs eyes widened in surprise at this insolent girl's tone. "No, but because he requested you. Now quickly come along." Sam unwillingly followed the wretched older woman making sure to stomp all the way to the office.

"Here she is." Briggs said to Principal Franklin and walked off.

"Oh, good morning, Sam." Principal Franklin greeted with a smile. "Take a seat." He motioned to the chair across his desk.

"Uh, morning." She warily replied and slowly sat down confused as to why she was there. "Look whatever you think I did I swear it wasn't me." She began to defend.

Principal Franklin chuckled. "Sam, you're not here because you're in trouble… surprisingly." He added at the end.

"Then why am I here?" Sam questioned.

He sat forward and crossed his hands over his desk. "How are you, Sam?"

She furrowed her brow. "Uh… fine?" It wasn't so much a statement since she had no clue what the fuck was up with Principal Franklin.

"Right." He paused and reached into a drawer pulling out a file. "I've been going over your transcripts and current grades… as well as attendance."

Fuck! There it was. She should have known it had to do with her grades. "And?"

"And I can see that you've had quite a few absences especially these last couple months. Everything alright?" He asked concerned.

"Yes."

Principal Franklin nodded. "So your grades. I've looked over your transcripts and I can see that you had outstanding grades up until you reached middle school. Is there any particular reason why that is?"

Sam stared at him where was he going with this? He wasn't going to get anything out of her and he should know that by now. Still, she couldn't help but recall what happened during that time. Her dad. That was around the time he had gotten up and left them. She remembered how Melanie used to crawl into her bed and cry and although she wanted to cry too she wouldn't allow herself. She had to be strong if not for her than for Melanie. She remembered telling herself that relationships were bullshit and that all love did was fuck people up. But more importantly it was the time she told herself that nothing really mattered and so she stopped caring.

"Sam?" Principal Franklin tore through her reverie.

"Huh?" She asked distracted.

"I asked if anything happ—"

"Oh right, right. Nope, nothing." She cut him off. Then stood up from her chair, "As much as I'm enjoying our one on one what's this about? I have class to get to."

"Take a seat." He gently asked. "The reason I called you here today was because SAT scores came in."

Sam began to slowly sit down. "Right…" She waited for him to elaborate.

"Well Sam there was something unusual." He began to explain. Unusual? She thought. What could be so unusual… wait SAT's? She had taken them? "The reason I looked into your academic past was because they simply did not match up."

Didn't match up? Will he just fucking spit it out already? She had no idea what he was talking about. "What do you mean?"

"Scores are going to be mailed out this week. However, the school receives scores in advanced and I have to say Sam you scored in the 83rd percentile." He said with a mixture of surprise and admiration.

Sam stared at him blankly. "I don't know what that means. Is that bad?" She asked genuinely bewildered.

"Bad? Sam that's fantastic! You scored 1840!" He stood sporting a toothy grin. "With a score like yours you'll be able to get into a number of great colleges." Principal Franklin had always held a soft spot for the trio but in particular Sam. He knew that she wasn't bad, she had just been handed a raw deal.

"Colleges?" The truth was that Sam wasn't stupid. She wasn't any less smart than Carly or Freddie she simply didn't bother trying.

"Yes!" He sat back down. "Which brings me to why I called you into my office."

"Wait that wasn't it?" She questioned.

"No. Well yes but not entirely. See I want to help you make the best of this opportunity and in order to do that we have to raise your grades." He said in a more serious tone.

"So I gotta do better? Gotcha." She reached for her backpack wanting nothing more than to get out of here. It wasn't that she wasn't happy she simply didn't know what this meant. Her mind was reeling. She couldn't grasp what Principal Franklin was telling her. A long time ago she had made up her mind about what she'd end up doing with her life.

"Not exactly." He said. "It's gonna take more than that. There's only a few months left before graduation and you have quite a few courses to make up." Sam's shoulders dropped. This was the bad news she assumed. Principal Franklin continued. "I've spoken with your teachers and they are willing to work with you as well as your past teachers."

"Wait, what? You want me to make up ALL the courses I've failed?" She asked alarmed.

"Yes and no. See I know it would be almost impossible to retake each class in such little time. Therefore, like I previously mentioned I spoke with your teachers and we've come to an agreement. They are willing to prepare packages with signature assignments crucial to passing the course. If you complete each packet and receive a passing grade then the course will be fulfilled and more importantly appear on your transcripts as such." He explained.

Sam sat quietly mulling over everything he had just said. She had to admit it sounded like a sweet deal but could she actually do it? I mean she had trouble completing homework in her current classes what made her think she could take on an extra work load? "So what you're telling me is that I'd have to complete every class I failed in the last 3 years?"

"While still keeping up with your current classes, yes." He replied.

"In the next couple of months?"

"The next two months." He clarified.

"What? Two months?" She blurted.

"Well the point is to have these done before college season begins." He further explained.

"No offense Principal Franklin but do you honestly expect me to complete 3 years worth of school work in the next two months and still pass my classes now? There's no way I can do that!" Sam shook her head in disbelief.

"Sam it's hardly 3 years of work. You didn't fail every class just a few from each year." He tried to simplify.

"How many?"

"Well let me see." He perused through her file counting the classes she had failed. "One… two…" He continued to count silently.

"Well?" Sam asked impatiently.

"Five." He smiled.

"Five?" Her eyebrows shot up. Why the hell was he smiling, five was not a good number.

"Yes, that's not so bad. You can do this, Sam." He encouraged.

Sam let her head hang back over the back rest of the chair trying to think if she could actually do this. This was insane, wasn't it?

"You don't have to give me an answer this moment, but think about it." Sam lifted her head to meet Principal Franklin's eyes. "I mean really think about it. Yes it will be a lot of work but look at the outcome. You'll be able to graduate with your friends and who knows maybe you guys will get into the same school. Wouldn't that be nice?"

Something then clicked inside her head. Friends. Graduate. Same school. This was her out. If she did this then maybe she could attend the same school as them… or at least one relatively close… close to her friends… close to… Freddie. If she managed to pull this off then she wouldn't have to say goodbye to him, she wouldn't be holding him back. She wouldn't be stuck in Seattle working some dead end job; she could have a future… a real future. "Okay… I'll think about it."

"Great! I'll need an answer no later than Monday."

"Monday. Gotcha." She stood up and quickly made her way out the door. Her mind was racing at the possibilities. As much as she loved the idea of not having to say goodbye to Freddie she couldn't help but feel hopeful at the idea that she herself could fulfill her own dreams. Dreams that she never thought she had a chance at. All those years spent not caring or at least pretending not to care suddenly felt so pointless because this proved that she did care. The little tingly feelings of hope slowly reigniting. It still scared her half to death. The thought of failing, of letting herself down. She was really going to think about it because there was no way she could let herself feel all this hope only to have it come crashing down.

* * *

><p><strong>Later that afternoon…<strong>

Spencer laughed at the television. He was watching an episode of Full House; he turned to look at Sam who sat next to him and noticed that she wasn't laughing with him. In fact, she wasn't even paying attention and looked lost. He nudged her shoulder. "Hey, kid. Everything alright?"

Sam snapped out of her daze and sighed. "I don't know."

"What's botherin' ya?" Spencer questioned and rearranged his body so that he was facing her.

"Nothing. It's just that…" She wasn't sure if she should tell him. She hadn't told anyone and didn't plan on it. The last thing she was going to need was people pushing her and being disappointed when she didn't make it.

Spencer watched her patiently. She really was like a second little sister to him. She sat in silence contemplating telling him. She turned her eyes upward and decided against it. "It's nothing, honest. I'm just really tired. Tell Carly I'll call her later." She stood up, gathered her things and left. Spencer wanted to protest but he knew Sam well enough to know that she'd talk when she wanted to.

Out in the hall Sam pulled out her phone and dialed a number she hadn't been using often.

_Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring_

"What up?" The voice cheerfully answered.

"You doing anything tonight?" She asked hoping he wasn't.

"Nope." Jayden replied.

"Good. I'm coming over. See ya in a bit." She quickly said and hung up without waiting for a response.

...

_Knock, knock, knock._

The door opened and revealed an older slender woman with big hazel/green eyes and dark shoulder length hair. "Hello, Sam." She greeted.

"Hey, Mrs. Hale." Sam smiled warmly. "Is Jayden in?" She asked even though she already knew the answer.

"Yes, dear. He's upstairs. Go on up." She let her through and closed the door.

"Thanks." Sam replied before running up the stairs. She made her way down the hall to his room. "Hope you're decent." She announced before bursting through the door.

Jayden stood at the foot of his bed folding some laundry and turned with a smile on his face. "Why wouldn't I be decent?"

"Dunno, maybe you're a freaky weirdo that likes to walk around naked." Sam joked.

Jayden smirked. "Oh, I am." He laughed when Sam made horrified face. "So what brings you to my neck of the woods?"

Sam settled onto his couch and extended her limbs. "Figured I was due for a visit."

He sat on the edge of his bed facing her. "So you miss me huh?" He smiled and cocked an eyebrow.

"Eh." She shrugged. "Not really."

Jayden laughed. "Aww, well I missed you, too."

"Course you did. I mean come on…" She signaled to herself, "I'm freakin' awesome." They both laughed. "Speaking of awesome, how are things with Carly?"

Jayden sank deeper into his bed and sighed. "Fine… I guess."

"What do you mean?" She sat up straighter.

"Well… I don't know. I think she thinks I'm not really into her." He ran his hand through his brown hair.

"Why would she think that?" Sam remembered Carly complaining about Jayden not asking her out.

"Cause I haven't made a move." He frowned.

"Well why the hell not?" She questioned.

Jayden stood up and paced between his bed and dresser. "I don't know. I've been meaning to. It's just everytime I tell myself 'okay this is your chance' I…" Sam watched on carefully waiting for him to spit it out.

"You what?" She asked impatiently.

"I… she… I don't know." He huffed and fell back next to Sam on the couch.

Sam cocked her head and eyed him carefully. A smile began to pull on the corners of her mouth. "Oh my god." She bit her lip to keep from laughing. "She makes you nervous!" She blurted.

Jayden crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes. "I don't get nervous." He stated matter of factly.

"Apparently you do. Awe..." Sam teased.

Jayden turned to face her un-amused. "You're not helping." He stood up again. Frustration painted on his features. "I blame you." He pointed accusingly at Sam.

"Me?" Sam asked stunned by the sudden accusation. "What did I do?"

"Oh, just give her a chance she's wah wah wah." He mocked in a Sam-like voice.

"And was I wrong?" She waited for a response. Nothing. "Exactly. I wasn't. So stop being a baby and just ask her out. I mean it's not like she's gonna say no." She said encouragingly.

He took a seat next to her again and leaned his head back on the back rest. "I know. I don't even know why I feel like this." He exhaled. "It's just different with her. She… I feel different around her." He turned to look at her, "You know I haven't even smoked in the last 3 weeks." He shook his head.

"Wow." Sam sat forward. "That explains why you're so wired. Normally, you're the picture of relaxed. But I think that's good you know. It's good for you."

"Yeah…" Jayden somewhere lost in his thoughts and the current conversation.

"Wanna hear something crazy that happened to me today?" She said trying to alleviate the moment.

"Sure, let's hear it." He stated glad to have some of the focus off of him.

"So Principal Franklin called me into his office today…" Jayden cut in.

"Isn't that a common occurrence?" he teased.

Sam narrowed her eyes at him. "Do you wanna hear what happened or not?"

Jayden chuckled. "Okay, okay. Sorry. Go on."

"Thank you. Anyway so he calls me in and I'm thinking I'm in trouble right? Only I can't remember having pulled any pranks so I'm racking my brain trying to figure out what he wants. And get this… he called me in to talk to me about my SAT scores." She smacked her hand on her thigh. "Of all the things that's what he wants to discuss."

"What about them?" He was intrigued.

"According to him I did really well and he was about as shocked as I was." She stood up and began to pace much like Jayden previously was. Talking about this made her uncomfortable. It really hadn't sunk in yet.

"So, what'd you score?" He pried.

"Um… I think he said it was 1840. Apparently it's good. But that's not the point…"

"Wait." He interrupted her again. "You got an 1840? Sam that's fucking awesome. What do you mean 'apparently it's good'?"

"Well… I… I don't know. Let me finish. So okay he said I did 'good' but then he brought up how I have these past fails. And that he's willing to work with me so that I make them up and eventually apply to colleges and stuff." She exhaled and realized she had been holding her breath.

"Okay. Let me see if I have this right. He's gonna work with you to retake the classes you failed and help you apply to colleges?" Jayden asked a little confused.

"Yeah. Actually I don't know if he's gonna help me apply. He just said that by raising my grades it would help me get into schools." She clarified.

A big smile broke out on Jayden's face. "That's great news! Congratulations."

Sam simply sighed. "I don't know if I'm gonna do it."

"What?" He asked practically appalled.

"I have to make all of them up in the next two months while keeping up with my classes. It's too much I don't think I can do it." She lamely explained.

"How many is 'all'? He asked.

"Five." She muttered under her breath knowing what was coming next.

"Five? Oh come on that's not that many. You can do it. What is it you have to do?" He wasn't letting her off the hook that easily.

She rolled her eyes and fell onto the couch. "I don't know some packets they're gonna prepare."

"Packets? Then I know you can do it. You can probably knock one out a week or so." He encouraged.

"What makes you so sure?" She turned her eyes upward.

He met her gaze and saw the uncertainty in her eyes. She really didn't have a clue how amazing she was. Jayden sat down next to her. "Because I know you. I've seen you. And you're not some dumb, trouble making kid. You're smart and talented. And you earned this so might as well see it through." He turned to face her and waited for her to reciprocate but she didn't she kept her eyes down. "Dude, you have a chance to do what others only dream of…" She snorted. "I'm serious. People often wish they could go back in time and redo their past mistakes and here you are getting that chance. You can't let it pass you by." She finally met his eyes. "You don't wanna settle for some lame fucking job. You could do something in communications. You already co-host iCarly and you're good at this media stuff. You really gotta stop selling yourself short.

She sighed. "Yeah."

He watched her. She still wasn't getting it. "Why is it that you have no problem believing in Carly and Freddie but when it comes to you… you don't see it?"

"Because… they're… they're them." She didn't really have a reason it just was.

"And you're you, equally capable. You're as smart as they are and this proves it. You were so convinced that you were going to hold Freddie back but look around… the only person you're holding back is you." He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "You gotta snap out of it, dude."

Sam cracked a half hearted smile. "I think I liked you better when you were damaged." She joked. Jayden smiled back. "I guess you're right. I mean part of me is screaming at me to do it."

"See." He pointed out.

"But you need to man up, too and ask Carly out."

"I will."

"Good."

They both sat there in comfortable silence. Sam was reflecting on everything Jayden had said.

"Want to go get a smoothie?" He asked after a while.

"Yeah." Sam said.

* * *

><p><strong>Friday, the following day at Ridgeway High…<strong>

Sam was walking with more determination than she ever had. After last night's chat with Jayden she went home and really thought things over. And came to the conclusion that he was right about a few things. She was always selling herself short. She made her way towards the office. The halls were pretty much empty one of the reasons she decided to wait til after school to do this.

...

Jayden leaned against his car in front of Ridgeway. Carly walked down the steps with Freddie when she spotted him. "I'll see you later." She said to Freddie before prancing towards Jayden.

"See ya." Freddie said to a disappearing Carly.

Carly had a huge grin on her face. "Hey." She gave him a small hug. "What are you doing here?" She asked pleasantly surprised.

Jayden smiled back at her. "Got off early so thought I'd give you a lift." He walked around the car to open the door for her and Carly just giggled and blushed at his chivalrous ways. He got into the driver's seat and revved up the engine.

...

Sam opened the door to the office and noticed Ms. Trudy and made a b-line for Principal Franklin's office. "Uh excu—" She ignored the woman's protest. Principal Franklin was looking over some papers when the door burst open revealing the small blonde.

"Sam?" He asked perplexed at the sudden intrusion.

"I'll do it!" She stated then turned around and walked off. Principal Franklin was barely processing her words before she was gone. But a smile played on his lips. He was glad she had decided to go for it.

...

Jayden and Carly were at a stop sign when he figured it was now or never. He had pushed Sam to take the initiative. If he was going to talk the talk he figured he had to walk the walk. "Carly?"

"Hmm." Carly answered turning away from the window.

"Would you like to go out with me… tomorrow?" He gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter out of nerves.

Carly's lips stretched into a huge smile. "I'd love to!" She reached over and gave him a side hug and quick kiss on his cheek.

"Cool." He stated and continued driving as the light turned green.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay, so I sort of took creative liberties when it comes to how the SAT work... I'm not sure if the school receives copies... I don't think they do but whatever in this story they do. I know there wasn't much Seddie interaction here but there will be in the upcoming chapters. I kinda just needed a filler chapter to get the ball rolling. I'm sure some of you can get an idea of where this is heading.**

**R****ead & Review! =]**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Guess what? I'm officially out of school for the Summer!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 21: Too Much Work and No Play<strong>

**A little over four weeks later…**

Soon as iCarly signed off Sam pulled out her phone from her back pocket to check her texts. "So what do you guys want to do today?" Carly asked.

Freddie set his camera down and closed his laptop. "Hmm… whatever you guys want." They both turned to Sam when there was no input from her. She was texting away absentmindedly. Carly and Freddie continued to look at her hoping to get her attention. Sam simply typed the last word and pressed send before looking up.

"What?" She asked perplexed by their staring.

Freddie rolled his eyes and Carly sighed. "I asked what you guys want to do today." She repeated her initial question. Freddie widened his eyes in a "well?" manner.

"Oh, well…" she drifted off in a thought when her phone went off again and she picked up. "Actually, I can't. I have something to do." She replied as she sent off another reply.

"Aw, what? Why? We've hardly hung out in the last couple weeks." Carly whined.

Sam tucked her phone away and looked at Carly then Freddie then back at Carly and shrugged. "I know. Next time for sure. I just… there's something I need to do." That's all she offered as an explanation. Sam had practically become a ghost in the last couple weeks trying to get all her work done. Honestly, she was surprised her determination hadn't run out. It had been 4 weeks since she took on the challenge and she was starting on her third packet. The downside was that her social life was suffering. She still hadn't said anything to anyone except Jayden. As well as she was doing she still had a small voice in the back of her mind that doubted her. Sam had decided she'd let them know once she succeeded. "See you guys later." With that she headed out the door.

Carly turned to Freddie once Sam was gone. "Do you think she's avoiding us?"

Freddie thought about it for moment. Could Sam really be avoiding them? Or at the very least him? "Um… I don't think so?" He was unsure. "I mean why would she be avoiding us?" He could understand if it were just him but there's no reason why Sam would avoid Carly.

"It just seems odd. She's been 'busy' for weeks and I don't know… at first I assumed that maybe she was busy but now I'm starting to feel neglected." Carly pouted. "And who was she texting?" She narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

Now that was something Freddie was wondering. He tried to act like he hadn't noticed and he didn't want to care but _who_ was she texting? "Beats me." He said nonchalantly.

Carly chewed on her lip in deep thought. "You don't think… No. No." She shook her head. She was mostly thinking out loud as opposed to speaking to Freddie. "I mean she could… No. Or what if…"

"Oh will you spit it out." Freddie cut her off, aggravation evident in his tone. It wasn't like him, really. But he had an idea where Carly was going.

"Nothing." She shook her head in an attempt to shake her thoughts from her mind. "Nevermind." She didn't know how to openly wonder if Sam was possibly dating someone else. There was no way she could say that to Freddie.

Freddie tried to read her. He was sure Carly was having the same thought he did. Was Sam talking to another guy? "So what do you want to do? Groovy Smoothie?" He said in an attempt to change the subject.

"Yeah." Carly smiled and grabbed her jacket on her way out the studio.

**Meanwhile…**

Sam walked into the public library and spotted the brunette boy she was looking for. "Hey, sorry I'm late. I've actually never set foot in here before." She looked around. "It's like Dorkville." She shivered in horror.

Brad laughed. "Yeah, I gotta say I was surprised when you asked for my help."

"Well you're a tech dork and I need someone with techy knowledge." She teased.

"Uh, thanks. I think?" He chuckled. "So what is it that you need help with?"

"Oh right." Sam placed her backpack on the desk. "I have this project I need to do for media." She pulled out a folder. "And… well I don't have the slightest clue what to do."

Brad reached over and took a look. "You're taking media?" He asked confused. "I've never seen you."

Sam half shrugged. "Not exactly. It's more like independent study." She explained.

"Oh." Brad nodded in understanding. He continued perusing through the instructions on the assignment. "You know, Freddie is a lot better at this stuff than me. You sure you don't want to ask him instead?"

Sam sighed. "Hmm. Are you saying you can't do it?"

"Nah, I can do it. I'm just saying he's better at it than me and you guys are always together I fig—"

"Well don't." She fake smiled. "Yeah Freddie's a big tech nerd but he makes me want to strangle him. If I wanted Freddork's help then I would've asked him but I didn't I asked you. So if YOU can help me, that'll be great. Otherwise I'll find some other nub that can." She didn't mean to sound as harsh as she did but his insistence was aggravating her.

Brad just stared for a minute. "Let's do it then."

"Great."

* * *

><p><strong>Back at the Groovy Smoothie…<strong>

"I still think something is up with her." Carly added before taking a sip from her smoothie. Freddie tried to look disinterested and mindlessly sipped on his smoothie.

"She's fine. So, she hasn't been around as much… it doesn't mean anything. She does have a life outside this circle you know." Jayden stepped in. He knew what was going on with Sam and he knew she didn't want them knowing, so he tried to speak on her behalf without setting off any red flags.

"Haven't been around as much?" Carly scoffed. "That's an understatement! She's been nonexistent." She shrieked. Carly could get worked up really easily.

"Like a ghost." Freddie added and nodded in agreement with the brunette. He was paying attention afterall.

Jayden chuckled. "You guys need to relax. Look I bet she'll come out and hang out this weekend."

"What makes you so sure?" Freddie questioned.

"Cause there's no way she'll be able to say no." He smirked. That smirk meant one thing- he had a plan.

Carly watched Jayden and couldn't help but smile. He was so cute when he was all 'plot-ery' but then a thought shook her from her gazing. "Wait, I thought we had plans for this weekend. I wanted to go to the beach and take advantage of the nice weather." She pouted.

The sandy haired boy turned to look at his girlfriend. "Don't worry, babe." He threw his arm loosely around her shoulder and took a sip from his smoothie. Oh he had the perfect plan.

Freddie caught on. "What did you have in mind?" He asked curiously.

"I'll let you know soon as I figure out the details." He grinned pretty pleased with himself.

* * *

><p><strong>About an hour later…<strong>

Only Freddie and Carly sat at their usual table. Jayden had to go set his plan in motion and left the two teens to wonder what he had in mind.

"So what do you think he's planning?" Freddie asked Carly.

"I'm not sure but if his goofy grin was any indication it can't be good." She giggled.

Freddie chuckled. She had a point. Jayden was like a lot like Sam and they were always up to no good. "You ready to go?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm gonna head to the restroom first." She hopped off her stool and made her way towards the restroom.

While he waited Freddie took out his phone. No messages. What else would I expect? He told himself. He looked up from his phone and noticed Sam walking with someone… someone who looked familiar. _Is that Brad?_ They walked past the Groovy Smoothie windows and appeared to be chatting, laughing, and having a good time. Is this why she didn't hang out today? She blew them off to hang out with Brad? Was Carly right all along? He watched them until they disappeared. He didn't know what to think or whether he should be thinking anything at all. The logical part of him said that it was inevitable and sooner or later it would happen but that didn't change the fact that it bothered him. His broken heart was aching again. She told him not to love her but here she was hanging out with another guy? Was it him she didn't want then? Anger was beginning to rise. He didn't want to be angry but dammit he was. Yeah, so they were just friends and he technically has no right to be jealous or upset. But how could she do this? How?

"Okay, ready." Carly cut through his painful thoughts. "You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah." He tried to shake it off. "Let's go." He wasn't alright. In fact he was far from it.

* * *

><p><strong>The next day…<strong>

"Hey," Sam greeted as she approached Carly and Freddie at their usual lunch table. She picked up a handful of fries and shoved them in her mouth.

"Oh well look who showed up." Carly responded snootily.

Sam couldn't help but smile. "Oh are you still worked up about yesterday? I'm here aren't I? I'd never miss lunch. You know that." She quirked an eyebrow.

"Funny." Freddie interrupted without any humor.

Sam deadpanned and turned to him. "What's with you?" She asked as she took a bite out of her cheeseburger. "Both of you are acting weird." Was Freddie mad? He seemed mad. What the hell was going on?

Carly's jaw dropped. "Us? ! More like you!" She couldn't believe Sam.

"Me? ! What did I do? !" Sam retorted. She couldn't believe Carly.

"It's what you haven't done." Freddie added dryly. Was Sam really that oblivious?

Sam threw a glance in his direction. Oh there was no doubt in her mind that he was upset. She tried to think back to see if she had missed something. "Did I forget something? What?" She was becoming aggravated. She didn't think it was because of her absence.

Freddie just stared at her. He wanted to yell at her, but it wasn't like him to be cruel. He tore his eyes from her and forced himself to look at his tray. Counting back in his head trying really hard to not bring up everything that had been bubbling inside him since that one 'fateful' day. Sam's eyes bounced back and forth waiting for an answer. When she realized neither were gonna say anything she sighed loudly to voice her frustration. "Whatever." She was about to stand up but Carly caught her hand.

"Wait. Maybe we're going about this the wrong way." Her eyes pleaded with Sam. The blonde decided to sit back down and listen. Carly continued, "I… uh… we" she gestured to Freddie and herself, "feel that maybe you've been avoiding us." She shrunk back.

"What?" Sam asked in disbelief. "Seriously?" She almost bit back a laugh. "Why would I avoid you?" She said to Carly and then added, "Either of you." She glanced at Freddie who barely met her eyes.

"Well then where have you been?" Carly sincerely asked.

Sam bit her lip. "I told you. I've been busy." She looked down. It wasn't a full lie but it wasn't exactly the truth.

"I don't get that." Carly responded. "I mean I get it, but you're being secretive. Like if you're hiding something."

In that moment Brad walked by and noticed Sam. "Hey." He smiled and half waved.

"Oh, there you are!" Sam randomly shouted. Brad looked confused but saw Sam's pleading expression and the tense faces of the other two. "We should probably get working on that thing." Sam stood up. "We'll talk later." She said to Carly.

"Um.. Okay?" Carly replied confused. Freddie didn't say anything and Sam left thinking she had escaped. She wasn't aware that Freddie had seen her yesterday and this only helped to further confirm his suspicions about the two of them. "What the hell just happened?" Carly asked herself confused.

* * *

><p><strong>Later that evening…<strong>

_Spring and by Summer Fall by Blonde Redhead quietly plays in the background._

Sam was nowhere to be found but that was becoming typical. Freddie sat on Carly's ice cream sandwich loveseat playing the magnetic fishing rod. Carly sat on the other with Jayden. Freddie felt uncomfortable being there. He felt like the third wheel and it only made him feel worse than he already was.

"Okay, so I got the details for the weekend." Jayden's voice cut through Freddie's thoughts. "I talked to my friend who is temporarily staying out in Ocean Shores. He has a cabin and I asked him if it was cool if we stopped by for the weekend and he said yeah." He grinned.

"Wait." Freddie interjected. "Ocean Shores? That's like a 3 hour drive." He scratched his head he wasn't sure about this plan. Carly looked confused too.

"So it's a bit of a drive. If we leave tomorrow after school gets out we'll get there and have all of Saturday and most of Sunday to enjoy the beach." He turned to Carly. "You said you wanted to go to the beach so I'm giving you an ocean beach. Plus it'll be nice to get away and for a bit." He raised his eyebrows. "Quality time with Sam, too. You guys have been complaining about not having enough hang out time and I'm giving you guys the perfect solution."

"Your friend has his own cabin?" Carly asked still trying to figure out if this was a good idea.

"Yeah, well not really it's his parents but they're not there. He's an artist and he goes out there when he needs to recharge." Jayden explained.

"Okay, let's say we agreed what are we gonna do about Spencer and Freddie's mom?" Carly questioned.

"Actually, my mom has been pretty good about giving me my freedom those parenting classes on how to let you kid go have been working." He smiled.

"I'm sure Spencer will be cool with it." Jayden said to Carly. "I'll talk to him with you. Reassure him that it'll all be fine." He added.

Carly smiled a loving smile. "That's sweet. But I'll talk to him on my own tonight."

Jayden nodded. "Cool. I guess all that's left to do is tell Sam."

Carly chuckled. "I'm sure she'll be thrilled. I'm going to check on the cookies. I'll be back." She placed a quick peck on Jayden's cheek before prancing off.

Once she was out of sight Freddie turned to Jayden. "Hey, dude. I don't know if it's a good idea for me to go."

Jayden turned to him. "Why?"

"Cause things have been off between Sam and I. I don't feel like having some awkward weekend." He explained.

"Wouldn't not going make it worse though? Maybe what you guys need is to spend some time around each other in a stress free environment." Jayden suggested.

"You talk to her a lot right?" Freddie questioned. Jayden simply shrugged. "Well, I hate to ask but do you know if she's seeing anyone? I know it's none of my business but I can't help but feel like she is and its… its…"

"Head fucking you?" He finished for him.

Freddie sighed. "Yeah, for a lack of better words."

"Dude, take it from me, she's not seeing anyone." He assured.

"What makes you so sure?" Freddie further questioned.

"Because I know. You still like her don't you?" Jayden pried.

"Yes." Freddie stood up from frustration. How was it possible for her to drive him nuts when she wasn't around? "I've tried to get some distance. Tried to look at other girls, but it all comes back to her. I don't know what to do. I can't get her out of my mind!"

Jayden watched him. He understood what it was like to have someone penetrate every fiber of your being. He knew what it was like to want to get rid of someone and failing miserably. "Why don't you try getting her back?"

Freddie laughed and took a seat again. "Don't you think I've thought of that? It's pointless. She doesn't want to be with me. She… she doesn't want me." The last part was mostly said to himself.

Jayden was quiet. He was thinking. "Fuck what she wants." He finally spoke. Freddie looked at him perplexed. "Yeah, I mean she says she's doesn't want to be with you well fuck it try and get her anyway." Jayden couldn't tell Freddie what was really going on with Sam, he couldn't tell him Sam's reason for rejecting him but what he could do was have Freddie try and break through her stubbornness because he knew deep down that Sam wanted Freddie as much as Freddie wanted her. Freddie sat there in silence pondering over Jayden's words. His words seeping deeper into his brain.

"Cookies are ready. You guys want some?" Carly asked walking in with a platter of chocolate chip cookies. Both boys reached forward and grabbed a cookie. The previous conversation officially coming to an end.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay so it's a little short but don't fret! The upcoming chapter is the whole weekend getaway thing!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I've been working on this all night! It's now 4am but I really wanted to get this up as quickly as possible. I really enjoyed writing this it felt good to get back into some Seddie interaction. Well this is part one of the weekend getaway I hope you enjoy it!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 22: Weekend Wars Pt. 1<strong>

**Friday evening…**

Sam sat at her desk in her room. A place she rarely found herself, doing something even rarer- homework. She had been at it since she had gotten home and was in desperate need of a break. Music played from her PearPod Dock and she bopped her head accordingly.

_Gigantic by Pixies comes on next._

The blonde began to tap her pencil with the rhythm of the song no longer focusing on her homework. Sam began to sing along quietly.

_And this I know  
>His teeth as white as snow<br>What a gas it was to see him  
>Walk her every day<br>Into a shady place  
>With her lips she said<br>She said_

As the song picked up Sam got more and more into. Singing louder and louder. She turned up the volume.

_Hey Paul, Hey Paul, Hey Paul, let's have a ball __[3x]_

_Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic  
>A big, big love<br>Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic  
>A big, big love<em>

By now Sam was dancing in her seat flailing her arms in the air and shaking her hair wildly, welcoming the distraction and break.

_Lovely legs they are  
>What a big black mess<br>What a hunk of love  
>Walk her every day into a shady place<br>He's like the dark, but I'd want him…_

Sam was preparing to belt out the chorus once again when her door suddenly opened. "Whatcha doin?" Jayden peeked through the door wearing his stupid, usual grin.

Sam jumped in her seat obviously startled by the intrusion and quickly turned down the music. "You scared me!" She composed herself. "What are you doing here? And don't you knock?"

Jayden stepped in and closed the door. "Your mom let me in." He dropped down onto her bed heavily. "What are ya up to?"

"What does it look like?" Sam pointed to her desk.

Jayden nodded. "Ah! Of course. How's that going?

"Not too shabby." Sam turned all the way on her desk chair to face him. "I've managed to complete 2 whole packets. I'm actually working on the third now but I wanna get this week's English homework out the way." She couldn't help but smile. Never would she have imagined those words to come out of her mouth.

"That's awesome." Jayden smiled back and jabbed her with his foot when she shrugged and looked down. "I'm serious, dude. See I told you, you were capable." He stood up and walked around to stand by her desk. "You know I think it's so great that a celebration is in order." He still hadn't mentioned the little weekend getaway and he figured this was the perfect opening to reel her in.

"Celebration?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah! I mean you've earned it don't ya think?"

Sam thought about it for a moment. "Well, what do you have in mind?"

Jayden pretended to think of a possible activity. "Hmm… how bout the beach?"

"The beach?" Sam made a face. "Can't we do something less outdoorsy?"

Jayden walked back to the bed and took a seat. "We could but the weather has been oddly sunny for this time of year so might as well take advantage. Plus Carly has been nagging me to take her to the beach so might as well kill two birds with one stone. It's a win-win."

Sam eyed him. "You had this planned already didn't you?"

Jayden smirked. "The idea was there but no concrete plans." He lied.

"Well will Freddie be going?" Sam asked in a more serious, quiet tone. Almost like she didn't want to ask the question.

"What do you think?" Jayden replied quirking his brow. Sam bit her lip uncomfortably and Jayden realized he was losing her, she was retreating. "They've both been bitching to hang out with you. You've been busy with all that," he pointed to the stack of papers on her desk, "that I think it will be good. Not to mention that I KNOW you've missed them too."

Sam sighed. "I really don't like you sometimes." She playfully said.

"Yeah, yeah. So can I count you in?" He asked anxiously.

"Fuck it. Whatever I'm in." She threw her hands up in defeat.

Jayden stood up and gestured a score with his arm. "Yes!" He walked towards her door, "Okay so pack a two day bag, we meet at Carly's in an hour." And as soon as the words were out of his mouth he was out the door without giving Sam a chance to object.

_Huh… _Sam thought, _that sneaky bastard._ She turned up the music and opened her closet door to pull out a duffle bag. Guess she had no choice but to pack for the weekend.

* * *

><p><strong>About an hour later at Carly's apartment…<strong>

Sam walked in and set her bad down on the couch. Almost instantly Freddie walked in with a bag of his own. Sam turned to him, "Awe, is Crazy actually letting her baby boy go away for a whole weekend?" She mocked in a baby voice.

Freddie held in a smirk. "Laugh all you want but my mom knows that I am a man now. And as a man she has to give me my freedom." He said with an overly manly deep voice.

Sam raised her eyebrow in an 'Oh, really?' manner. Suddenly the door opened and Freddie's mom burst in. "Fredward Benson! We had a deal that you could go if you took your organic sun block!" She held a green bottle in her hand.

"Mom!" He said shocked and embarrassed. "I told you I don't need any, I can just use the regular."

"Nonsense. You're allergic to the regular and it's filled with god knows what chemicals!" She began spraying him like a maniac.

Freddie ran around trying to dodge her but she was on his tail. "Mom! Please! Mom, stop! I'm not allergic!" He lifted his hand to attempt and block her but to no avail. "Mom! It smells like a swamp!" He finally managed to bat her away.

"You make sure you take it. She set it down on the island counter. And don't forget to call me every night and every morning." She forcefully gave him a kiss on the head and walked out the door.

Sam had stood there watching the whole ordeal go down with amusement. Freddie turned to look at her and easily read what she was thinking. She opened her mouth to say 'a man huh?' but before the words were out Freddie interjected. "Not one word, Puckett!" So she closed her mouth and bit her lip trying to stifle a laugh. She was busy thinking about the whole scene that happened that she didn't hear Freddie. "Sam? Can you pass me my bag please?" Suddenly she snapped out of it.

She rolled her eyes and reached for it when she turned to hand it to him she was smacked with the sight of a shirtless Freddie. Sam halted and her snarky "here" never made it out of her mouth. Freddie noticed the tension and quickly reached for his bag before pulling out a shirt. Sam kept telling herself to turn away. She kept telling herself to stop running her eyes over his chiseled chest, perfectly formed abs, and toned arms. She swallowed hard before her brain finally kicked into gear and she looked away. Her cheeks turned a crimson red that did not go unnoticed by Freddie. He was originally going to put another shirt on but after noticing the effect he had on Sam he decided to prolong the moment and pulled out a towel to wipe away the gunk his mom had sprayed on him. Sam shuffled her feet uncomfortably she glanced back and noticed he was still shirtless. The room was beginning to feel hot and stuffy, she needed to get away.

"I'm gonna go check on, Carly. I'll be abs… BACK! Back, I'll be back." She stammered through her words and without looking back rushed up the stairs feeling like a complete idiot. A wide smug grin appeared on Freddie's lips. She managed to lose her cool demeanor in front of him.

…

Sam walked into Carly's bedroom and watched her stand in front of a mirror holding a bikini top up to her chest than alternating it with another. She was in deep thought. "The yellow one." She said from the doorway.

"You think so?" She took another look. "Oh screw it I'll take both." She turned to place them in her luggage. Sam eyed her luggage rather confused. It was pretty big and full of clothes.

"Um, Carls?" Carly turned to look at her, "You do realize we're only going for the weekend right?"

Carly stared at her. "Uh, yeah." She chuckled shaking her head. Sam decided it was better to drop it. The brunette snapped her suitcase shut. "Can you go call Spencer? I need him to carry this downstairs."

"Yeah, no problem." Sam turned on her heel to head downstairs. She figured she had given Freddie enough time. The only thing that remained was the tingly feeling of burning herself. Oh the embarrassment she thought.

"Oh, wait, do you know if Jayden's here?" Carly asked before Sam exited the room.

"He wasn't here when I came up." Sam responded and walked out.

…

She reached the bottom of the stairs and noticed Spencer standing by the couch. Freddie sat at the island counter eating a pudding cup. "Spence, Carly needs you upstairs."

"Luggage?" He asked. Sam nodded.

The blonde walked over to the fridge and pulled out a pudding cup of her own. There was a knock on the door. The two teens looked at each other to see who will open the door. "I'll get it. It's probably Jayden." Sure enough when she opened the door she was greeted by the taller boy.

"You're here!" He said rather surprised but excited nonetheless.

"Yep and you're late." She pointed out.

"Oh just by a few minutes. I had to get everything set up. You guys ready though?" Both Sam and Freddie nodded. "Good. Carly?" His questioned was aimed at Sam who nodded for her. "Great."

The struggling huffs and whines of Spencer caught everyone's attention. He struggled to carry Carly's suitcase down the stairs. "Oh, Spencer it's not even that heavy."

"Then why aren't you carrying it?" He retorted.

Carly didn't have a response. Jayden made his way over to help Spencer out. When the taller adult set it down he almost lost his footing but Jayden managed to grab him. "You alright?"

"You should really go to the gym more often." Carly said. Spencer glared at her.

"Yeah, dude you're way out of shape." Sam added and Spencer turned his glare at her.

The two boys chuckled. "Alright, you guys ready to go?" Jayden asked.

"Wait." Spencer said. "I have rules!" Carly groaned. "No drinking, no drugs, no staying out way too late, and more importantly no making me an uncle!" He eyed Jayden ominously.

"Spencer!" Carly cried completely mortified. She dropped her face into her hands hoping to disappear.

"And the same goes for you two." He pointed at Sam and Freddie.

"What? !" They both exclaimed shocked. They glanced at each other uncomfortably.

"Don't worry. We'll behave." Jayden said. He reached down to pick up Carly's luggage, christ it was heavy. "Um, Carly?"

"Yeah?" She answered.

"You do know we're only going for a weekend right?" He asked waringly.

"Uh huh." She said not catching what he meant just like he hadn't caught it when Sam brought it up. She picked up her purse. Sam couldn't help but chuckle. Jayden shook his head a little confused. "So are we going?"

"Yeah." He responded heading towards the door.

"Bye, Spencer." "Bye." "See ya later." "Adios." They all bid their goodbyes.

Sam reached for her bag on the couch but it was swept from under her by Freddie. "I got it." He smiled warmly at her. She didn't know how to respond so she just nodded and turned to walk out.

"If anything happens I know where you live." He threatened once more.

...

They boarded the elevator and Carly hooked arms with Sam. "Oh my god! I'm so excited for the weekend." Carly bounced next to Sam and the blonde had to admit her excitement was infectious.

Sam grinned. "Yeah, I'm actually looking forward to basking in the sun." The elevator dinged and both girls practically skipped out.

The two boys watched them and couldn't help but chuckle. Jayden picked up Carly's ridiculously overpacked luggage, "Girls." He signaled to the suitcase shaking his head.

Freddie looked down the suitcase then at his hand. "Yours, maybe. Mine is normal." He lifted his hand to show Sam's normal duffle bag. At the realization of what he said he tried to backtrack. "I mean… not mine… but…"

Jayden laughed and put his hand up. "No need to explain, man."

* * *

><p>All four teens climbed into the car ready to begin their mini journey. You could feel the excitement. Jayden revved the engine and turned the radio dial before coming to a stop. "Yeah!"<p>

_TNT by AC/DC plays from the radio._

"Whooooo!" Carly joined in. Sam turned to Freddie and gave him a genuine happy smile which he reciprocated. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Sam turned away to stare out at the world passing her by.

**About an hour and a half later…**

_I Want to Hear What You Have Got to Say by the Subways_

Some of the initial excitement had settled into a more relaxed atmosphere. Sam leaned up against Carly's seat and the two quietly talked about their plans for the weekend. Jayden tapped the steering wheel to the music in his own world once in a while mentioning something about the friend they were staying with. Freddie sat in his seat looking out the window and every once in a while talked about what they were going to do while the girls did their thing.

**Another hour later…**

_For You by Angus and Julia Stone_

The mood had shifted to a quiet one. There was a soothing calmness in the car and no one was really talking like some silent agreement had taken place that no one was to disrupt. Carly had fallen asleep so Sam leaned against the seat with her face near the window soaking up the warm air. They were well past the halfway point and nothing but trees surrounded them you could smell the fresh earth and moss. As Sam enjoyed the serenity of her surroundings her ears began to take in the music.

_If I talk real slowly,_

_If I try real hard  
>To make my point dear,<em>

_That you have my heart  
>Here I go, I'll tell you what you already know<br>Here I go, I'll tell you what you already know_

She couldn't help but glance at Freddie over her shoulder. He looked so peaceful just staring out into the night. A swarm of emotions came over her and she felt her chest constrict. As much as she liked to tell herself that her feelings for him were diminishing this proved it wasn't true.

_If you love me with all of your heart  
>If you love me<br>I'll make you a star in my universe  
>You'll never have to go to work<br>You'll spend every day  
>Shining your light my way<em>

Sam's mind began to relay memories from when they used to bicker all the time. She couldn't help but smile. Smile because now she could see that all the bickering was due to the tension of unspoken feelings. It was like that from the beginning although they weren't aware of it yet.

_If I talk real slowly, _

_If I hold your hand  
>If you look real closely my love<br>You might understand  
>Here I go, I'll tell you what you already know<br>Here I go, I'll tell you what you already know_

Those words especially hit her hard. She couldn't count the times she wanted to tell Freddie the real reason why she walked away that day. The tremor in his voice was as clear as day. She closed her eyes trying to push away the pain. With the way Freddie spoke sometimes she wondered if he knew that she felt the same way. She might've never said it but the feelings were there. She was just never goods with expression and words. She shook her head trying to pull back the tears threatening to pool in her eyes. She took a chance and glanced once more and for a moment decided to allow herself all the pain. It was the least she could do after all the pain she caused him. She figured she could use this as an opportunity to try and mend some of that heartbreak. She swore to herself to avoid arguing with him at all costs… at least for the weekend. Once the song ended she sat back making sure to shield her face and tried to take a nap.

* * *

><p>Her whispered name slowly penetrated her mind and slowly began to pull her from her unconscious state. "Sam." The whisper began to sound clearer. "Sam, we're here. Wake up." Freddie whispered into her ear, his breath tickled against her skin. He gently shook her shoulder.<p>

Sam slowly lifted her eyelids and was greeted with Freddie's perfect features. Dark brown eyes were staring down at her. She took in a deep breath and his scent was swept inside of her. "Hey." She said in a sleepy voice.

"We're here. Come on." He backed away and exited the car.

Sam gathered her thoughts, herself and finally got out of the car. She saw Jayden pulling out Carly's suitcase and his bag so she figured they had just gotten here. She checked her phone and saw that it was a quarter past midnight. She turned away from them swept her eyes across her surroundings. The house was beautiful much how you would imagine a beach house to look like. There were large windows and from her angle the windows went all around. It was two stories and the upper level looked a little more private. The lights were on and the front door opened revealing a slender man with hair past his shoulders and a scruffy beard. He wore an old beaten Zeppelin t-shirt and faded ragged jeans.

"Jayden!" He greeted and pulled into a rough hug. "How was the trip?" He looked around to everyone.

"Pretty good." Jayden spoke up. "Guys this is my friend Evan. Evan these are my friends Freddie, Sam, and Carly." Carly cleared her throat. Jayden smiled, "Correction this is my girl, Carly." He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. She couldn't help but beam up at him.

Evan shook hands. "Cool. Glad to have you here. You're all welcome here. My casa is su casa." He reached down to pick up some of the bags. "I'll take this in. Come on I'll give you a little tour.

Upon walking in the house looked like it was kept. It was in pretty good condition but still looked lived in. There were a few canvases spread out in the living room which contained no couch, only a few lamps. For the most part the living room was pretty bare. "Where's the rest of your furniture?" Sam asked.

Evan looked behind him. "Oh I used it mostly as my workspace and I can't focus if it's cluttered." Sam's bottom lip jutted out and she nodded. "Alright so this way is the kitchen, you guys are free to help yourselves with anything. And down this hall on the right is the restroom and across here is the guest bedroom." He showed them to each room. "Oh." He turned around walked back across the living room, "This room here is mostly a den, no one comes in here and it's pretty hidden so no worries about privacy. The couch has a pullout bed already equipped with pillows and sheets. I only mention it because my brother Noah is staying here for a week and occupying the other bedroom so you guys decide who shacks up where."

"Not it!" Jayden exclaimed. Sam rolled her eyes.

"Okay so let me show you upstairs." They headed upstairs and Evan showed them the rest of the house. All five were now back in the living room.

Something suddenly occurred to Freddie. "Wait." Everyone turned to look at him. "You only showed us two bedrooms." Evan looked confused with what he meant, however the rest understood especially Sam's who looked terrified.

"Yeah? Aren't you guys coupled up?" Evan asked mostly looking at Jayden for confirmation. Jayden pressed his lips together and barely shook his head. "Oh. OH!" It finally dawned on Evan. "I'm sorry man when you said it was four of you I just naturally assumed. Um…well I mean I guess someone can take my room. I'll just sleep out here."

All four shook their head. "Oh no. We can't let you do that you're already letting us stay here." Freddie spoke up.

"Yeah, it'll be fine." Sam assured although inside she was anything but sure. This was not okay!

"You guys sure?" Evan questioned.

"Yeah." Sam and Freddie nodded.

"Okay then. I guess I'll let ya get settled. Again help yourselves to anything. And I'm sorry about the mix up." Evan apologized.

"Don't worry about it." Jayden said. Evan said goodnight and disappeared up the stairs.

The four teens stood around awkwardly. "So…what are we gonna do?" Sam asked.

"Well I don't know about you guys but we called the bedroom." Jayden said and picked up their stuff making a run for the bedroom with Carly in tow.

"What? !" Sam shouted and ran after them but Jayden and Carly managed to make it inside before he closed the door on her. "Are you fucking kidding me?" She was pissed. This is not how she had planned her weekend to be.

"Oh, you'll be fine." Jayden said through the door.

Freddie walked up from behind. Sam turned when she heard the footsteps. "Can you believe them?" she asked in complete disbelief. She stood up straight and stormed off past Freddie towards the den. On her way she snatched her bag from off the floor and continued until she reached the room. She threw her bag on the sofa and looked around. There were two tables that doubled as nightstands she assumed as each end of the sofa. There was a chair and a small loveseat couch much smaller than your average loveseat. There was no television and a bookshelf and small desk. _Great_ she thought. She was pissed. This was awkward. How could Jayden be thoughtless… NO! Actually how could Carly be so thoughtless… Ah, both of them were stupid, she concluded. She was so busy cursing them to hell that she didn't even notice Freddie walk in.

"Hey." He spoke cautiously. "You okay?"

"There's not even a door." She pointed.

"Yeah, but it's all the way in the back. It's pretty private for a room with no door." He tried to look at the upside. Sam didn't say anything. Instead she began to remove the couch cushions to pull out the bed. Freddie stepped in to help her and together they pulled out the sofa bed. It was pretty big she had to admit. She didn't expect a queen sized bed. Freddie was able to see the worry in Sam's eyes. She was eyeing the bed like it was the most terrifying thing she had ever seen. "You take the bed." Freddie suddenly said. "I can sleep on the couch or on the floor."

Sam turned to look at him. There was confusion in her eyes part of her wanted to say okay but another part felt it was unfair. "No, you take the bed. I'm shorter I can sleep on the couch."

"Sam, I'm not letting you sleep on the couch or floor for that matter. So just take the bed. It'll be fine." He tried to assure her.

She hesitated for a bit. "You sure?" Freddie smiled and nodded. "Okay. I'm gonna go change. I'll be back."

While Sam left to the bathroom to change into her pajamas Freddie decided to take advantage and change into his pajamas, which consisted of basketball shorts and muscle shirt. He was changed before she got back so he decided to set up his bed. Sam came back soon after tippy toeing using her clothes as a shield. Freddie turned to her and noticed her trying to cover up. She wore grey shorts and a white tank top. He couldn't help but smile at her coyness. She glanced up at him and noticed that his bed had already been made up so she slipped into her bed. "You sure you're gonna be fine on that small ass couch?" She asked again.

"Yeah. Don't worry about me." He reassured her.

"Okay then. Goodnight." She reached for the lamp and turned it off.

"Night." He responded and turned off the lamp on his side.

Sam snuggled deeper into the bed. She couldn't help but feel so small in such a large bed. Part of her felt guilty for allowing Freddie to sleep on the loveseat when clearly there was plenty of room for him. There was enough room for him to sleep and neither of them worrying about getting in each other's space. She could hear Freddie's struggling movements in an attempt to get comfortable. "Oh for fuck's sake." She sat up and turned the light on and noticed Freddie bunched up in what looked like a really uncomfortable position.

"What?" He asked.

"There's no way that's comfortable, Benson." She stated. Freddie was about to say he was fine but Sam spoke before he could. "And don't say you're fine because I know you're not. Look, there's plenty of room for the both of us. There's no reason for this to be weird so let's just not make a big deal about it."

Freddie stared at her. Had she really said what he thought she said? "Sam if you're not comfortabl—"

"Oh, shut up and get in the bed before I change my mind." That's all she said before laying back down.

Freddie jumped off the couch that in reality was a lot more uncomfortable than it looked. He grabbed his pillow and made his way to the bed. He didn't think he would actually feel shy about slipping into bed with Samantha Puckett but here he was with cheeks burning a hot red. Sam noticed his blush and it caused her own cheeks to turn rosy. If they didn't know any better you'd they were about to do more than sleep together. He was finally settled in and both were automatically lying as far apart from each other as possible without falling off. "Thanks." He said in a modest tone. Sam reached for the light and shut it off. The bedroom wasn't all dark the silver light from the moon was bright enough so that they could make each other's faces out if they dared to even look at each other.

"Well… goodnight." Sam said again and turned on her side facing away from him. Freddie didn't move he lay there silent. He wasn't sleepy. So his mind kept going full speed. He thought about Sam, he thought about what Jayden had said about ignoring her wishes and wooing her anyway. But there was something he needed to know before deciding whether or not to go through with that plan. He needed to know about Brad. Freddie considered if now was a good time or not. He figured maybe he should wait but wait her or not there was never going to be a really good time for him to bring it up and since he had her here now he figured what the hell.

"Sam?" He spoke softly.

Sam's shut her eyes. Oh no what did he want?

"Sam?" He spoke again.

"Yeah?" She responded.

"Can I ask you something?" His tone was soft and gentle but it had seriousness to it. A seriousness that scared her.

"Depends."

"Come on. If I ask you something you have to promise me you'll answer me honestly. Yeah?" She couldn't see but she knew he was looking at her.

"No." She responded.

"What? Why?" he questioned.

She didn't want to say it was because she was scared of what he might ask. So instead she said nothing.

"Sam?" He whispered. "Please." There was a hint of desperation even though his voice was calm. Anyone else would not have been able to pick up on it.

Sam shut her eyes. She was scared but she also knew that if she wanted to mend things she was going to have to give him some answers. "Fine."

Freddie's eyebrows shot up. He hadn't expected her to give in that easily. He took in a deep, quiet breath. He didn't want to scare her off by inhaling and exhaling loudly. "Are you and Brad… I mean is there something going on between you two?" There it was out. No big deal. Just a simple question, he told himself. Yeah with a dangerous answer his mind shot back.

Sam was quiet for a moment. Why was he asking her about Brad? Did he really think something was going on? "Why do you care?" She knew she shouldn't have answered that way. She could've just said no and left it at that but she wouldn't be Sam if she didn't hand out ambiguous answers.

What? He thought. Was she really asking why it mattered as if she didn't know? He should have expected it. "I don't. Just wondering." He said.

'I don't?' She wondered. Well then why the hell was he asking? "If you don't then this whole conversation is pointless."

My god she was infuriating! "I heard some rumors and I wanted to see if there were any truths to them."

Rumors? She thought. What a liar. There were no rumors.

"Whatever." He tried to sound casual, but he was losing his patience. All he wanted was a simple answer and here she was playing games with him. Sam didn't say anything anymore. He was expecting her to say something. Freddie fought the urge to say anything anymore. After a few minutes of silence he couldn't take it. "Well are you dating him or not? !" He asked impatiently. There was no gentleness to his tone anymore.

Sam wore a smug expression. "I thought you didn't care?"

Freddie shut his eyes to calm himself. "You know I do. I don't know why you have to make me say." He sounded disappointed.

Sam figured maybe she had been insensitive. She wanted to say sorry but couldn't manage to actually get the words out. Instead she opted for the second best. "There's nothing going on between Brad and I. He's been helping me with something. That's all."

He couldn't help but feel relieved but now he was curious. "Helping you with what?" He wondered.

She had been worried about this. "Just some project."

"Like a tech project?" He asked.

"Something like that." She replied. There was silence for a moment.

"Why didn't you ask me?" There was a hint of hurt in his voice.

This was another thing she was afraid of. "Oh, Freddie. It wasn't like that. I… I felt weird coming to you." That wasn't a complete lie.

Freddie thought about it. He understood her hesitation he really did but part of him still felt hurt that she opted to ask someone else for help when this was something he was good at. "I guess I can see why." There was nothing but silence.

"Goodnight, Freddie." Sam spoke breaking the silence. She couldn't help but feel guilty.

Not even five minutes had passed before Sam heard Freddie whisper her name."Sam." He whispered. Sam snapped her eyes open. "Sam, are you awake?"

"No, I'm sleeping." She sarcastically said.

Freddie smiled. Sam will be Sam no matter the situation he thought. "I can't sleep."

"You haven't even tried." Sam stated.

"Yes, I have." He lied. "Besides I slept in the car and you did, too, so I know you're not sleepy either." Damn it he was right.

Sam rolled over on her back. "Okay, so what now?"

"Let's play that game we played when we went camping. You know the one when we couldn't sleep." He wanted to alleviate the tension, but more importantly he wanted to keep talking to her.

Sam thought back to that camping trip, the one where Carly was adamant about find Big Foot. That night Freddie and she had managed to get along and even bond. "Freddie…" it was said as a warning. She didn't want to rehash the past.

"Come on. Just one round then we can go to sleep." He bargained.

"Fine." She gave in.

Freddie smiled at his triumph. "Okay. Bacon or Ham?" It was a simple game. Nothing elaborate. It was simply a this or that game but it was their 'this or that' game. It belonged to them not even Carly was a part of this.

Sam couldn't help but chuckle. "That's a tough one. Hmm… ham. No, no bacon. No okay ham."

"You have to pick one." Freddie reminded.

"I know, I know. I choose ham." She responded.

"Final answer?" he double checked.

"Final answer." She answered. "Okay. My turn… Galaxy Wars or World of Warlords."

Freddie turned to look at her. "Wow. You've gotten better since last time." He was impressed and that made Sam feel giddy even though she'd never admit to it or show it. "Hmm…I'm going to go with Galaxy Wars."

"Nub." Sam teased.

"Yeah, yeah but you said you liked Galaxy Wars so that makes you a nub, too." He teased back. Their minds quickly flashed back to that day. That had been a really good day, they had spent the day together at his house watching movies and making out it really didn't get any better than that.

"Your turn." Sam spoke trying to avoid the thoughts of them making out.

"Right. So… kissing me or kissing some other guy?" He couldn't believe he said it. He didn't even think twice he just let it slip out.

"What?" Sam asked rather alarmed. "Freddie… I don't—"

"It's no big deal. Just a question." He interjected.

"How am I supposed to answer that? Some other guy? That's too general." She stated in hopes of getting out of the question.

"Fine kissing me or kissing Jayden?" He specified.

"Oh god. That's worse!" She looked at him with wide eyes.

The more freaked out she got the more confident he became. "It's just a game."

"That's like me asking if Carly or I kissed better." She tried to explain.

"You." He swiftly answered. There was no hesitation. No doubt.

That got her to stop squirming she looked at him in the eyes. She was stunned by how sure he was. After a minute or so she finally spoke but it was barely above a whisper. "You."

"What?" Freddie asked just to torture her.

"You." She said louder. They looked at each other for a long time. Sam couldn't help but feel a gravitational pull towards him and she was sure that he felt it too. She realized she needed to say or do something before something happened. She could see that his eyes were glazing over and out of nowhere she found the strength to move. It caused Freddie to break his focus and shake off the haze. Sam glanced one more time before turning over. "Goodnight."

Freddie turned back. "Night, Sam." His voice was peaceful. As much as Freddie would've loved to kiss her he figured this was a good start. He now knew that there was nothing going on between Brad and she and he was aware that he had an effect on her not to mention that she clearly enjoyed kissing him. This was all good news. Jayden was right after all maybe he could win her over despite her stubbornness.

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><p><strong>Oh and I know I don't make a habit of thanking all those who follow this story and review but I want you to know your support is much appreciated! Thanks so much.<strong>

**I'd love to hear your thoughts and/or suggestions for what you'd like to see happen during this trip. **

**Also, remember Read and Review! =]**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hello! Sorry for the long wait but my internet was disconnected for what felt like the longest month ever! But I'm back and I hope you guys are still here with me! This chapter ran a little long and I considered cutting it into two parts but then I figured what the hell you guys have been patient enough.  
><strong>

**So we are finally nearing the end, guys! It's exciting. Also, can you believe we are nearing the one year anniversary for this story? It's crazy! Anyway I won't take up any more of your time. Enjoy!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 23: Weekend Wars Pt. 2<strong>

The morning sun blared through the large picture windows warming and illuminating the entire room. Sam and Freddie lay on their sides facing away from each other, both were awake but neither wanted to move. Sam replayed the previous night in her head internally cringing. Why had she said what she said? She blamed the fact that it was late at night. Nighttime has that effect on people making them more open and vulnerable, more willing to spill true emotions. She had been weakened by that. She didn't know how to face him without feeling embarrassed. On the other end of the bed Freddie replayed the same night but he wore a smile however he was a little nervous at how Sam would act today. Both teens wondered if the other was awake. Sam wondered if she could make a run for it unnoticed while Freddie wanted to see if he could just talk to her. He decided he couldn't wait anymore. He turned around to face where she lay and Sam felt the shift in the bed and immediately closed her eyes to simulate being asleep. Freddie leaned closer and Sam could feel his hand lightly brush her forearm. He slowly leaned in closer towards her ear and Sam tensed.

"Are you guys up?" Carly's voice traveled from down the hall. Freddie quickly moved away back to his spot and Sam pretended to stir. "It's time for breakfast." She appeared in the doorway. "You guys coming?"

Sam mumbled before nodding. "Yeah." She quickly shed the sheet and made her way past Carly towards the restroom. Freddie watched her practically run out the room and turned to Carly.

"Morning." He smiled. Carly stared at him and the now empty spot on the bed with a curious smirk. "What?" He asked his smile wavering a bit.

"Nothing." Carly sing-songed. "Had a good night?" She asked teasing a bit.

Freddie couldn't help but smile and shake his head. "Shut up." He said as he stood up to make the bed.

…

Sam made her way towards the hall restroom as she reached for the door it abruptly opened exposing a young scruffy boy. He simply stared without saying a word. He had deep auburn eyes with a very intense stare almost enough to creep anyone out. "Uh sorry. Didn't know it was busy." Sam spoke. He didn't say anything except nod. Sam assumed it was Evan's younger brother. He finally stepped out and Sam watched him as she stepped into the restroom. _What's his deal?_ She wondered, but said nothing as she closed the door. She brushed her teeth and washed her face. When she opened the door she was greeted by an unexpected Freddie. Sam jumped back. "Holy chizz!" She shouted.

"Sorry!" Freddie replied right away. "Didn't mean to scare you."

Sam shook her head while still gripping her chest. "Don't worry. I thought you were someone else."

"Who did you think it was?" He asked as she walked out.

"No one just not you." She said dismissively as she made her way towards the kitchen.

Breakfast went smoothly. Everyone discussed what they wanted to do for the day. Carly wanted to pay the shops by the boardwalk a visit and Sam agreed to go with her. In the meantime the boys Evan included decided to pick up a few snacks and beverages for the beach later and also for the small bonfire/party that Evan insisted on hosting.

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><p><strong>Down by the boardwalk...<strong>

Sam and Carly walked down the boardwalk eyeing the different shops and street vendors. "So…" Carly let the word hang on her tongue. "How was last night?" She tried to sound nonchalant and systematically eyed a handmade glass object to play off what the implications of her question.

Sam abruptly turned to her was she really trying to ask if anything had happened? "It was fine. Why?"

"Oh no reason." Carly responded staring harder at the object in her hand.

Sam laughed. "No reason huh?" Carly looked her with innocent eyes. Sam playfully rolled her eyes. "You're a terrible liar! You know how I know?" Carly shook her head. "Because you've been pretending to examine this glass pipe" she took it from her hand and simulated smoking to show Carly what it was for, "for the past two minutes." Carly looked shocked and horrified which quickly turned into laughter.

"Oh my god! Okay okay. Sorry!" Her cheeks rosy red. She quickly set the pipe down and moved away. "I am sorry though." She said again.

"For what?" Sam wondered.

"For leaving you last night. I tried talking Jayden out of it and wanted to go see how you were doing but he kept insisting that everything was fine. He seemed pretty sure so I assumed he knew something I didn't. Was it bad?" The brunette was sincere.

"Don't worry about it. It wasn't that bad. I mean at first I thought I was going to kill him but everything turned out fine." Carly looked her expectantly. "Nothing happened. We just slept!" Sam confirmed.

"On the same bed?" Carly quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I mean you slept on the same bed with Jayden am I to assume something happened with you two?" She turned the tables.

Carly's eyes went wide, "I didn't do anything! However I'd like to point out that he is my boyfriend not best friend turned lover turned whatever you guys are now. But I see your point."

"Good." They came to a halt in front of an Italian ice and gelato shop. "Wanna get some Italian ice?" Sam asked.

Carly nodded and smiled.

…

The two girls were enjoying their Italian ice on a nearby table. "I'm really glad you're here." Carly said. "I missed this."

"Me too." Sam smiled and felt a pang of guilt. She was aware that Carly had missed her but she hadn't realized just how much and more importantly she hadn't noticed just how much she had missed her too.

"I don't want to ruin this but I can't not ask." Sam eyed her warily. "What happened between you and Freddie? I've asked him but he says nothing and I know _something_ happened. I just… I don't understand." Carly shook her head.

The blonde eyed her sympathetically. She really had neglected her the last couple weeks. "Carls, to be honest nothing really happened. Nothing but the inevitable." She let out a sigh before sitting up, "You know how Freddie and I can't get along for more than five minutes at a time. It would've never worked." The brunette listened with sad eyes and she went back to her previous position leaning back into the chair. "We're too different." She shrugged.

Carly was quiet for a moment trying to formulate a response. "But you guys have always been at each other's throat and that obviously didn't stop either of you from developing feelings for each other." She pointed out.

Sam was at a loss for words. The brunette was right. She'd never thought of it on those terms. She shook her head. "Yeah… I don't know what to tell you, Carls. It is what it is." She took a spoonful of her cherry flavored ice. "But hey, you and Jayden seem to be doing really good." She shot her a grin.

Carly halfheartedly smiled. "Yeah…" She said without much determination which Sam noticed. "I mean it is good." She attempted to smile brighter.

"Try to contain some of that excitement there, Carls." Sam sarcastically teased when she saw that Carly's expression didn't change much she turned serious. "You guys are good, right?"

Carly sighed. "We are. Everything is actually really good."

"Then why so glum?" Sam questioned.

Carly's shoulders slumped. "It's because of that. Because everything is good… great even. I mean Jayden is awesome. He's a really great boyfriend. He listens and cares about what I have to say and he's sweet too. And he doesn't try to pressure me to do anything which I absolutely love." She bit on her lip worriedly.

"I'm not hearing the problem." She gestured towards her ear.

"It's… It's kinda scary. I really like him. I mean like I really, really care about him. And I know we've only been official for a bit but I've never felt the way I feel about him with anyone else, not even Steven whom I once believed I was in love with. I also know that he feels strongly for me, too. Not just because he tells me so but because I can feel it and I can see it in his gestures. I love it and I'm happy. But at the same time I wonder what's going to happen when graduation comes around?" She sighed and sunk deeper into herself.

Sam couldn't believe her ears. Everything she worried about between her and Freddie were Carly's concerns as well. "I thought you were planning on attending college here. You said you didn't wanna leave Spencer."

"I was! But that was when I was 13years old and the thought of not living near or with Spencer seemed impossible. I've grown up since then and not that I'd enjoy leaving him but it's not as big a worry as it used to be because I know he's always going to be there no matter what." Carly explained.

"So what are your plans now?" Sam asked curiously.

"Well nothing is set in stone and I haven't ruled out staying here but I would love to go to New York, Boston, Washington DC, or somewhere in southern California. I just don't know how none of this crossed my mind before. I never expected to be in this deep." Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

Sam quickly moved over to wrap her friend in a hug. This whole time she felt like the only one who had these thoughts. It never occurred to her that Carly had the same worries and in a worst situation because she had actually gone for it. Now things were so much more complicated. "It'll be okay, Carls. I'm sure you guys can figure something out." She knew those words didn't hold much value but she had no idea what to say, after all she had ran away from love to avoid this.

"I hope so." Carly wiped the stray tears and fished out her phone. "Speak of the devil." She tried to smile. "Hey." She said answering her phone. "Yeah we're ready. Okay, see you then." She turned to Sam. "They're on their way."

* * *

><p><strong>At the beach...<strong>

"This looks like a good place." Jayden stated dropping two chairs and bags, the rest followed suit.

"Oh!" Carly exclaimed. "It's so beautiful let's go in the water!" She turned to face the group who were glad to be there but didn't share her over excitement.

"No can do, Carls. I want to sit back and relax." Sam spoke first. Carly's smile fell a bit and she looked to the rest. Freddie raised his hands and shook his head. She turned her eyes to Jayden who looked reluctant. Carly batted her eyes at him and gave him a pout.

Jayden wasn't a huge fan of splashing about but he gave in. "Sure, whatever you want, babe." He smiled and Carly rose up and planted a quick pop kiss on his lips.

"Awww!" The rest teased.

"Shut up!" Jayden replied in annoyance.

"Yeah, leave him alone." Carly defended.

…

Within minutes they had set up camp. "Did anyone pack the sunblock?" Carly asked.

"I have it." Sam answered and pulled it out of her bag before throwing it over to her.

Carly removed her tank top and jean shorts exposing a multi colored zebra print bikini top and bottoms that stood out against her pale skin. She sprayed the sunblock all over her body before turning to Sam, "Hey, can you spray my back?"

"Sure." The blond put her juice box down and began to strategically spray all over Carly's back, shoulders, and neck making sure to rub the greasy substance all over.

Jayden and Freddie stood on the sidelines watching. "I suddenly wish you guys had bought the lotion instead of the spray." Jayden commented with a mischievous grin. Both girls turned to him with disapproving looks. "What?" He laughed. "A guy can dream." He had barely managed to get the last word out before the aluminum bottle hit him in the head. "Hey!" He pointed at Sam.

Sam laughed. "Wasn't me." She pointed at Carly who had her arms crossed over her chest with raised eyebrows. Jayden bit his lip and gave her an apologetic smile.

Carly smiled and shook her head at his adorable face. She walked over and picked up the sunblock and aimed it at his chest.

"What are you doing? !" He practically shrieked startling Carly and getting everyone else's attention.

"What do you mean?" She asked bewildered.

"Don't spray that on me. I can't stand the feeling. It's all greasy and sticky." He sounded like a child.

"But you need it otherwise you're going to get sun burned." Carly explained.

"Nah, I'm good. Come on lets go." He reached for her hand but she pulled away.

"What? What are you talking about? Someone please tell him he needs sunblock." Carly insisted.

"Dude, you're gonna regret it." Sam warned.

"No, I won't. Come on." He grabbed her hand. "It's just a few sun rays how bad can it be." He said as he pulled Carly down towards the water.

Freddie, Evan, and Sam watched them go off. "Oh he's going to be so fucked." Sam stated chuckling to herself. The other two boys nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'm going to try and get a date for tonight's party. See ya later." Evan announced before making his way towards a group of girls by the shore.

"Goodluck." Sam said without much enthusiasm and turned to look at Freddie with a 'so its just us, now' look that he understood. "You're not gonna swim?"

"A little later." He responded. "I want to try and absorb as much vitamin D before it's gone." He said pointed his index finger towards the sky.

"Yeah, me too." Sam responded. She walked over to pick up the sunblock and in a swift move removed her shirt catching Freddie off guard. He was suddenly glad to be wearing sunglasses otherwise she would've noticed that he was totally gawking. Her red bikini top contrasted against her milky skin, her blonde locks glowed in the sun, and even though her eyes were covered by the sunglasses he knew that they were as blue as the ocean. She was breathtakingly beautiful. The thud of her dropping on the lounge chair brought him out of his thoughts. He smiled inward. She wasn't graceful in everything but she was Sam and that was so much better. All morning he wanted to talk to her about last night but her ability to dodge him was impeccable. This was the moment he figured. Freddie proceeded to remove his shirt exposing his flawless body.

"Pass the sunblock, yeah?"

"Didn't Crazy pack you your special nub sunblock?" She retorted. Sam who had her eyes shut turned to face Freddie and was smacked with the sight of his fully formed abs, chiseled chest, and bulky biceps. Her eyes went huge and in that moment she had never been happier to be wearing shades. She reached for it and handed it to him without another word. Sam lay back down and pulled out her phone to distract herself from staring but every now and then her eyes glanced without her permission. She was concentrating so hard that the shift of weight startled her when Freddie sat on the edge of her chair. "What are you doing?" She asked a hint of concern in her voice.

"I can't reach." He said gesturing to his back as if that were explanation enough.

"So…?" Sam replied with her usual dismissive tone.

"So I don't want to burn." He responded.

Sam reached for the damn sunblock and carelessly sprayed and X on his back. "There."

"Sam!" Freddie whined.

"Ugh." Sam groaned. It wasn't that big a deal and in all honesty she didn't really mind she was simply used to objecting to everything he wanted that it came as a habit. "Fine, but I better not catch any nub germs."

Freddie smiled. He wanted to say they weren't contagious because if they were she would've had them already but bit his tongue. "They're not." Sam sprayed more carefully and made sure to rub it all around. The moment her fingertips made contact with his bare skin Freddie felt a rush of heat run through his body. Sam felt her stomach do summersaults with each knead and rub. She was able to feel the muscles under his skin and it made her miss his touch. The thought of having him all around her brought back the memories of their short lived time together and she felt a rush of heat settle between her legs. She shut her eyes tightly and willed herself away from him.

"Kay. All done. Now leave me alone." She settled back into her previous position and turned her head away.

It took Freddie a moment before he moved over to his own chair. His head was still fuzzy with thoughts and his skin still tingled where she touched him. Was this the right moment he wondered. He figured what the hell. "Sam?" His voice was smooth.

Sam heard her name and as much as she wanted to say 'not now, Benson' she couldn't stay away. Ever since last night she had been fighting the need, the want to be near him, but no matter how much she dodged and avoided some unknown force kept pulling her in. He was like gravity and she couldn't pull away. "Yeah?" Her voice was soft not the usual tone but soft like when she couldn't fight anymore.

"I don't want to make things awkward but I really want to talk about last night." There it was. He exhaled the breath he wasn't even aware he had been holding.

"What about last night?" She knew what he wanted to talk about.

"Well…" He scratched the side of his head. It was his nervous tic. "About what happened."

She lulled her head in his direction and lifted her sunglasses. "About what happened?" The roughness of her voice was returning.

"Yeah. About what we talked about." He couldn't help feel nervous. Not so much about bringing it up but more so with her reactions, Sam could be so volatile sometimes he didn't know how to approach things which is why they fought all the time.

"We played a game that was it. If you can even call it a game considering there are no winners or losers." Well at least she didn't yell, he thought. Her walls had gone up. Damn it! How did she do that? One moment she seems willing and open and vulnerable and the next she's stomping on your heart.

He sighed in defeat. He wondered if he had masochistic tendencies to still be here, still willing to try and get through to her despite all the pain she caused him. "Not all games require winning and losing."

She scoffed. "The fun ones do."

_The fun ones do?_ Her words echoed in his head. Did that mean this was a game to her? Or did it mean she enjoyed it? No that couldn't be it because technically there were no winners or losers in this fucked up game they seemed to be playing. "Then let's play a _fun_ game." He offered.

She turned to him intrigued. "Game? What do you have in mind?"

Freddie tried to think quick he really hadn't come up with a game let alone a 'fun' one. "Uh…" Then an idea struck him. "I saw Jayden pack a deck of cards. We can play Go Fish," Sam scrunched up her nose, "Or black jack" She considered it, "Or poker?" Now that caught her attention.

"Poker like for money?" She asked.

Freddie smiled. She really loved challenges. "We could play for money or we can make up our own prizes."

Sam perked up. This really intrigued her, the chance to not only beat Freddie at a game but also claim her own stakes. How could she refuse such an offering? "Alright you're on." She sat up and pulled the cooler as a makeshift table. Freddie got up to find the deck of cards. "What are the stakes though?"

Freddie returned taking a seat opposite of her. "Well that depends on what you want."

The blonde thought about her options for a moment. "Okay, if I win you buy me all the ice cream I want."

He mulled it over for a second wondering how much ice cream she could really eat. "Deal." He agreed. "But if I win…" Sam scoffed. "If I win…" he said more forcefully ignoring her scoff, "you and I talk about last night."

Sam stared at him blankly. She weighed her options. "Deal! But if I win that conversation is dead and gone." She added.

"What? ! You already claimed ice cream as your stake." He argued.

"Well I'm adding another one." She said with finality.

They both stared at each other trying to make the other stand down. But neither of them gave in being the stubborn asses that they were. The staring contest went on for about another minute before Freddie looked away. "Fine."

"Fine." Sam agreed feeling victorious already.

…

The game was tense neither of them were willing to take it easy and as far as they were concerned this was for some ultimate championship. "I raise you." Freddie stated.

"To what?" Sam asked not liking it one bit.

"That we go on a date." He quirked an eyebrow with a mischievous smirk playing on his lips.

That sneaky nub! She should've known that he wasn't going to make it easy. This must've been his plan all along! She looked down at her cards contemplating what to do. If she folded now then they'd have to talk about last night which honestly wasn't too bad. What was holding her back was feeling like she had been recently. She was losing her resolve around him at odd times and she didn't like it one bit. She couldn't back down. "Alright, but if I win then all of this has to stop." There was no hesitation in her voice.

The words made his heart twinge. He wasn't expecting that to be honest he didn't know what to expect at all considering this was Sam but _that_ he never expected. He was quiet studying her face trying to find a sign of a bluff. Unfortunately, Sam was an expert at poker face and to him she looked dead serious. He turned back to his hand and eyed his cards carefully. He figured he had a decent hand but did he really want to risk it. He looked at his cards again. Could he take a risk of this magnitude? "Deal."

_Deal?_ He was accepting it? Was he bluffing she wondered? Suddenly she didn't feel so sure about raising anymore. She looked at her cards and in that moment she secretly hoped his hand was better than hers.

Freddie took a deep breath and fixed his eyes on her as he laid his cards down feeling confident.

Sam tore her eyes from him and looked at his cards and back to hers. "Four of a kind." She said shocked. Freddie smiled proudly. He had four 10s and a 4 of diamonds. Elation was beginning to course through Freddie. There was no way she had a better hand than him not with the look that she currently wore.

"So let's see whatcha got." He said eagerly.

Sam bit her lip. "All I have is…" She placed her cards down. Freddie's jaw instantly dropped. "Straight flush…" She stated with mock enthusiasm. She quirked her eyebrow at him. "Looks like I win." She half heartedly smiled. Freddie shook his head in disbelief. "I want ice cream." She extended her hand trying distract him. Freddie reluctantly dug in his wallet a retrieved a five dollar bill, his face still ghost white.

_What have I done? !_

"All I have is a five." He said holding it out.

"That'll do." She said snatching it. Freddie simply slumped his shoulders. "Aw, come on. There's no way you're that surprised that I won. I always win!" She was desperately trying to make light of the situation.

"Yeah, yeah." Sam wanted to enjoy her win but his pouty face was making it really hard. Freddie grabbed a juice box and sat back on his chair. She sat trying to find something to say to make him feel better when she noticed a group of girls not too far staring and giggling. She followed their eye line and noticed they were staring at Freddie.

"Looks like you have a fan club." She motioned with her eyes. Freddie met her eyes and she tipped her chin in their direction.

Freddie turned to the group of girls who giggled even more. One in particular shot him a bright smile and a coy wave. He reciprocated and Sam furrowed her brows. "What?" He asked.

Sam shook her head. She suddenly felt a pang of jealousy. Why the hell had she brought it to his attention she wondered. "I'm going to go get some ice cream." She said in hopes of regaining his attention.

"Uh, yeah okay." He said turning to her.

She waited for him to say something like 'I'll go with you' but when he didn't offer it only added to that weird sensation in the pit of her stomach. "Do you want anything?" She offered.

"No thanks." He smiled. "I'm fine." He said raising his juice box to show her.

Not having anything else to say and having had her offer rejected Sam stood up. "Okay, I'll be back." And walked off in the direction of the ice cream truck. When she turned around she noticed Freddie pull out a book and felt a sense of relief. She didn't want to feel jealous. In fact jealousy was something she absolutely hated experiencing.

She reached the ice cream truck there was a bit of a line and she eyed the treats trying to decide what to get for her and Freddie. Yes, Freddie. What? She could be thoughtful. "Uh, hi." Sam felt someone tap her shoulder and turned around. Behind her was a blonde guy slightly taller than her holding a surf board.

"Hi." She replied kind of confused as to what this guy wanted.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to bother you but are you Sam from iCarly?" The blonde boy asked.

Huh, well at least he wasn't trying to hit on her. "Uh, yeah, yeah. I am." She smiled.

"Oh man!" He exclaimed. "I love iCarly are the rest here?" He asked looking around.

"Thanks! Oh yeah they're out there somewhere." Sam motioned towards the water.

"That's so cool. I'm Mikey by the way and me and my," He motioned over at a sandy boy who was standing by and also held a surf board. The boy jogged over to them and smiled shyly. "boyfriend, Jack never miss a webisode." They both smiled wide eyed.

Sam's brows went up in surprise, "Oh wow. That's awesome! Well nice to meet you both, Mikey and Jack." She shook each of their hands.

"Were you going to buy something?" Jack asked pointing at the ice cream man that was impatiently waiting on Sam.

"Oh!" Sam laughed at her forgetfulness. She asked for two fudge pops.

"That'll be $2." Said the ice cream man. Sam went to give him the $5 dollar bill when Mikey interrupted.

"Don't worry it's on us!" He said eagerly catching Sam off guard.

"Thanks." She genuinely smiled.

"So…" Mikey began, "I take it from those two fudge pops that you have to get back to your friends?"

Sam half nodded and looked over in Freddie's direction only to find him sitting with some girl. After her eyes adjusted to the distance she noticed that it was the girl who had waved at him. Sam's nod turned into a shake. "Uh, no. Actually, I don't." She said disillusioned.

The boys perked up not catching the sadness in her voice. "Well, in that case we were wondering if you wanted to surf with us."

Sam turned her attention back to the boys. "Surf?" She asked perplexed. They nodded. "I've never surfed before."

"Oh that doesn't matter. We're pros." Jack firmly stated. They both waited for her answer.

Sam looked back to Freddie. She was too far to make out their face expressions but close enough to understand their body language and if her knowledge on Freddie was right, he was currently smiling and possibly even flirting with this girl. Fuck it she thought. "You know what I'm in."

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile back at their lounge area…<strong>

After Sam walked off Freddie pulled out a book to try and distract himself from the monumental mistake he had just made. The book did very little to distract him and all he kept thinking about was what an idiot he was. Back and forth, back and forth that seemed to be the theme of his life. First with Carly and now with Sam. He was starting to convince himself that he was some masochist that actually enjoyed all this. He had told himself to let her go multiple time only to come back and now he was faced with it again. How many times was she going to need to make it clear that she didn't want anything with him before he got it? Freddie wondered.

"Hi," he heard a delicate voice say and looked up to see the dark haired girl standing at the end of his chair looking down on him with a coy smile, "Can I sit?" She asked.

Freddie tried to shake himself out of his thoughts, "Yeah, sure. Hello." He said awkwardly.

The girl sat down on the edge of his chair. "I'm Natalie by the way. I saw you from over there," she pointed, "and decided to come say hi."

Freddie nodded. "Yeah, I saw you too." He smiled.

"The blonde that was sitting with you… she's not… I mean is she your girlfriend?" Natalie asked.

"Who Sam?" He turned back to Sam and saw her animatedly talking with not one but two guys. Freddie scoffed internally. Of course she was out there talking to guys why wouldn't she it's not like she wanted anything with him. "Nah, no she's not. We're just friends." _And apparently that's all we'll ever be_, he added to himself.

"Oh good. I wouldn't want to impose on another girl's boyfriend." She smiled seductively and sat closer up.

* * *

><p><strong>An hour later…<strong>

"That was so fun!" Carly cried as she plopped herself onto a chair.

"It was." Jayden responded, "But I am starving!" He made a b line for the cooler and pulled out two sandwiches and two juices. "Here." He handed one of each to Carly.

Carly smiled, "Thanks, babe."

"So Freddie seems to be enjoying himself." Jayden observed. Carly turned towards the ocean, Freddie and Natalie had gone into the ocean a while back and were joined by more of her friends which had naturally attracted Evan to join them.

"Yeah. Sam seems to be having fun too thought so that's good." Carly pointed in Sam's direction where she was surfing with the other boys. Well not so much surfing as more like falling on her ass every five minutes.

Jayden chuckled when he saw Sam fall. "Yeah…" They were both quiet for a moment. "I wondered what happened."

"Me too." Carly said before taking another bite out of her sandwich. There was an underlying understanding that neither of them found it normal that both Sam and Freddie had ended up with other people for no reason.

…

**A few minutes later…**

"I fucking hate surfing!" Sam shouted and threw her towel down.

Carly who was resting against Jayden's chest turned to her, "Why? You looked like you were having a good time."

Sam huffed. "Well I wasn't. I hate the beach." They both eyed her carefully thinking that her bad mood had more to do with Freddie and less to do with surfing.

"How can you hate the beach? It's awesome." Jayden cut in.

"Whatever." She sighed. "What time are we going to leave anyway?"

Jayden checked the time. "We could probably start packing up."

"Good. I'm going to go get changed." Sam stood up abruptly and made her way towards the showers.

They both watched the moody blonde stomp off. "I guess I'll go tell them it's time to go." Carly got up giving Jayden a look of resignation before walking down to the shore. "Freddie! Evan!" They both turned to look at her. Carly pointed her index finger up and made circles signaling it was time to wrap things up.

Down by the shore Freddie got the message. "Looks like we're leaving soon."

"Awww." Natalie and her friends all said in unison. "That sucks. We were having so much fun." Natalie pouted.

Freddie shrugged, "Yeah, bummer." He wasn't going to lie he was having fun and Natalie's company was a nice distraction but he felt a little weird around her forwardness. He really wasn't used to having an attractive girl show so much interest in him.

"Oh I have an idea." Evan interjected. "We're having a party tonight you guys should come!"

Natalie turned to Freddie expectantly. "Really?"

Evan turned to Freddie and nudged him when he didn't say anything. "Um, yeah… that would… I mean… you should come. And your friends, too" He stammered.

"Great!" Natalie smiled. They began to walk towards where Natalie and her friends camp and exchanged numbers.

"It should be fun." Evan said.

"Cool." One of the girls said.

"So I'll see you tonight." Natalie said in an alluring voice.

Freddie couldn't help but smile. "See you tonight."

Evan and Freddie began to walk to where Carly and Jayden were. "Oh man! How hot are they? !" Evan said excitedly. Freddie just nodded.

"Why are you two so excited?" Carly questioned when they arrived.

"Because thanks to this guy right here," He shook Freddie by the shoulders, "We have hot girls coming over tonight!" Evan waggled his eyebrows.

Sam who was packing her wet clothes heard and a pang to her chest sucked the breath out of her. She kept her eyes forward and continued to put her stuff away not wanting to look at Freddie. She felt her jealousy rise and as a consequence her anger flare. _Well this should be fan-fucking-tastic! _She thought.

Carly's eyes instantly went to Sam to see if she was okay before answering. "That's great." Freddie's eyes were also on Sam but she never once looked up.

"You know you said this was going to be a small get together and this doesn't sound small." Jayden said to Evan.

"Ah, details." He shooed him off. "It's going to be fun just you wait."

…

The car ride back to the beach house was quiet. Sam sat in between Evan and Freddie in the backseat and it wasn't pleasant. She didn't speak or even look at him. She couldn't believe that he was bringing a girl a day after almost kissing the night before! Who did he think he was? All of a sudden last night was a big deal. Sure she had tried to blow it off but who was she kidding? Of course it had meant something! Now he was bringing some girl he didn't even know and blowing her off? Well she could blow him off, too. As a matter of fact she was an expert at it. Sam stalked up the stairs and into the house without as much as a glance back.

She was in her temporary bedroom getting her clothes to jump in the shower. "Hey." She turned her eyes up continuing to do what she was doing.

"Hey." She said dryly.

Freddie stepped into their bedroom cautiously. He stood on the opposite side of the bed waiting for her to say something or look at him but she never did. "Are you upset or something?"

"Nope." She continued toying with her clothes in order to appear busy.

"Are you sure? Because I can't help but feel like you are. I mean did I do something?" He asked keeping his eyes fixed on her.

Did he do something? Was he really fucking asking her that? "Nah, I'm good." She stated nonchalantly.

"Then why won't you look at me." He said seriously.

Sam inhaled and exhaled silently. "What?" She said looking him right in the eyes. The intensity of her blue orbs bored into him. "I'm not mad, okay?" She turned away. "I'm gonna go shower. See ya later." Before he could even say anything she was out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>The party is now in full swing…<strong>

_Summertime Sadness (Reich & Bleich remix) by Lana Del Rey_

During her shower Sam tried to calm herself. She didn't like being pissed let alone jealous and to be honest she felt guilty to be giving Freddie a hard time when he didn't deserve it. If she was going to be rational and upfront about things this is what she had been asking for since the beginning. She decided to try and let it go not for her sake but for his. After all, he deserved to be happy. She didn't doubt that for a second.

Sam walked out onto the patio noticing a few random people around drinking and socializing, she suddenly spotted Carly and Jayden by the bonfire. The blonde walked over instantly feeling the heat of the fire upon her skin. "Sup guys."

"Oh, hey Sam!" Carly greeted with a smile. Sam could tell she was already feeling the effects of the beer in her hand. Jayden simply grunted. Sam noticed he wasn't in his usual chipper mood.

"What's up with him?" Sam asked referring to Jayden.

Carly giggled. "Why don't you tell her what's wrong." Jayden narrowed his eyes at her disapprovingly. Carly couldn't help but chuckle. "He's sunburned." She tapped his shoulder and Jayden winced.

Sam broke into a chuckle of her own and after closer inspection was able to see the redness of his skin against the fire's glow. "Oh, man! That looks like it hurts!"

"It does!" Jayden finally spoke.

"I told you to wear sunscreen and you refused to listen to me." Carly chastised.

"How was I supposed to know this shit was going to happen?" He asked not wanting to make sudden movements.

"Because it's the Sun!" Carly and Sam both said in unison then turned to each other and laughed.

"Laugh it up!" Jayden said without any humor.

"Aw, lighten up, Mr. Krabs." Sam said and both looked at her bewildered.

"Mr. Krabs?" Jayden asked.

But before she could answer Carly interjected, "Oh my god! He totally looks like a lobster!"

"Yeah!" Both girls continued their laughter.

"Funny." Jayden deadpanned.

"Okay, okay!" Carly said, "Leave him alone. He's in a lot of pain." Jayden nodded with a pout. "And it's only adding to his _crabby_ mood." Carly emphasized the crabby part and both girls busted out laughing.

"You guys are freakin' hilarious!" Jayden said standing up.

"Aw, come on! Where are you going?" Carly tried to reach for his hand, "We'll stop." But Jayden stomped off.

"Touchy." Sam raised her eyebrows.

"Seriously." Carly replied. "But it's still funny."

"Wait til he tries to sleep. He's so screwed." Both girls nodded.

"What's up with him?" Freddie asked walking up to them.

Sam shrugged.

"He's mad cause we were making fun of his wicked sunburn." Carly explained.

Freddie chuckled. "So you guys having fun?"

"Yeah, it really came together." Carly replied.

Freddie turned to Sam. "It could be worse." She simply stated. Freddie was glad she was back to semi normal. At least she wasn't giving him the cold shoulder anymore.

"Beer?" He offered to Sam first.

Sam scrunched her face. "Oh, no thanks. I don't feel much like drinking tonight."

Freddie pointed the beer to Carly who accepted it. "Thanks."

"So why aren't you drinking tonight?" Freddie asked turning his attention back to Sam.

Sam shrugged. "No reason, really. Just not in the mood I guess." Freddie nodded accepting her answer. Sam took a seat next to Carly and Freddie sat across from them. Sam couldn't help but feel her earlier mood dissipate. She enjoyed her two best friends company but they obviously enjoyed hers too because here they were, Freddie especially. The trio talked and laughed and for a moment things felt like they used to. Things felt okay again. She watched the fire's glow illuminate Freddie's features especially when he'd laugh and Sam couldn't help but feel that gravitational pull she had been fighting all weekend begin to kick in.

_Where Have You Been (Hardwell Radio Edit remix) by Rihanna_

"Hiiii! I've been looking for you!" A high pitched voice rang in her ears and before Sam could process where it came from she saw a girl throw her arms around Freddie's shoulders from behind. Natalie didn't simply catch Sam off guard she caught Freddie off guard as well. His eyes instantly flew to Sam whose eyes were blankly staring at him.

"Hey." Freddie turned to her with a surprised smile. He honestly didn't think she was going to show up.

Sam turned to Carly, "I'm gonna go get a beer." She wanted to hightail it out of there.

"I thought you weren't drinking." Carly said after Sam who was already making her way to the keg.

"Yeah well I changed my mind." She replied and vanished into the crowd.

Carly fell back trying to think what to do. She knew it bothered Sam she had made no attempt to hide it and now her impulsive best friend was going to try and drink her problems away. She decided to go find Jayden.

* * *

><p><strong>About 3 beers and 2 shots later…<strong>

_Fixin' to Thrill (Villains Remix) by Dragonette_

Sam had gone full force. She was now carelessly dancing to the music although from a sober perspective she was doing less dancing and more flailing her limbs. Regardless, she was feeling numb and that was the point.

Across from the dancing crowd stood Carly still having no luck finding Jayden. Where could he be she wondered. She turned to check on Sam she was getting more and more trashed. She approached a group with a cloud of smoke around them. He couldn't be there but it didn't hurt to check, she thought. As she got closer she was able to make out Evan's face and next to him was none other than, "Jayden?"

Jayden quickly turned to her, his eyes blood shot red.

"What are you doing?" She asked even though she knew the answer.

He shook his head in slow motion. "Nothin'."

"Nothing?" She raised her eyebrows. "It doesn't look like nothing. Are you stoned?"

"Nah." He laughed. "I'm good."

"You're lying!" Carly said, livid. It's not that she wanted to tell him what to do but she had been raised with different morals and to her smoking pot wasn't something _nice_ people did.

"Fine!" He walked closer to Carly. "So I'm a little high. It's no big deal. Okay?"

Carly took a step back. "No it's not okay. You said you were going to quit."

Jayden rolled his eyes she was really killing his buzz. "Oh, come on Carly. It's just for the damn sunburn. It was hurting too much and stinging. I needed something to soothe the pain."

"I rubbed aloe on it." She reminded.

"Yeah, you did and it worked a little but not enough." His eyes momentarily closed his head felt really light.

"Well if you had listened to me since the beginning you wouldn't have gotten sunburned!" She huffed in frustration.

"Oh that's right. I forgot all my choices always lead to shit!" He shot back.

The words hit her like a truck. "I didn't say that." She said more calmly.

"Yeah, well you didn't have to. It's what you meant." He turned around and walked away leaving Carly confused as to what the fuck had just happened.

Carly sat on her own trying to make sense of things after about 10 minutes she decided to go looking for him. She walked in to the house and felt relieved to see Sam with him. "Hey…" She said to Jayden who wore a somber expression.

"Hey." He whispered. He wasn't sure what had made him snap at her like that. She hadn't deserved it. "Listen, I'm sorry. I don't want to fight so can we talk about it later?" He said after a moment.

Carly simply nodded. She wasn't satisfied though, but for now she allowed it to be enough. She still wanted to talk about where that had come from.

"I shouldn't even care!" An inebriated Sam suddenly said interrupting their moment. Both Jayden and Carly turned to her. "I don't care. He can do whatever he wants!" Carly was about to say something when Sam spoke again. "I'll be back."

_Body Work (Club Mix) by Morgan Page ft. Tegan and Sara_

They both watched her go out the door back into the party. "What's she talking about?" Jayden asked.

"Freddie. That girl from the beach is here and she's not taking it well." Carly explained.

Jayden nodded. "That explains why she's on a mission to get wasted." Sam came back through the door and in their direction.

"I don't understand who she even thinks she is!" She scoffed. "She doesn't even know him!" She shook her head. "But I don't care. I don't fucking care!" She exclaimed before walking off again.

"We should probably follow her." Carly suggested.

"Let's go." Jayden agreed. When they walked out they saw Sam standing by the stairs looking out into the crowd of people. In the middle were Freddie and Natalie dancing. Well more like grinding. Sam turned back and Carly caught the rage and hurt burning in her eyes.

"Sam come on lets go inside." Carly tried to reach for Sam's arm but Sam shook her head no and made a b line for the liquor table. Carly and Jayden followed and watched Sam take two shots one right after the other.

"Come on, dude. I think you've had enough for the night." Jayden said. He was worried about her. He didn't want her to lash out and do something she'd regret tomorrow.

"No! I wanna stay. I'm having fun!" She lied. When she turned back to look at Freddie she watched Natalie move in and kiss Freddie. All the oxygen was sucked out of her lungs and she felt a gaping hole suddenly burn in her abdomen. "Oh what the fuck!" She screamed.

Jayden and Carly whipped their heads in Freddie's direction and saw what Sam was seeing. He was kissing another girl and he appeared to be enjoying it. By the time they turned back to Sam they noticed she was gone.

Sam made her way down the stairs. She was livid! How could he do this? How could he not care that she was here and watching this! Yeah she had turned him down and away numerous times but that didn't mean she didn't care! That didn't mean she didn't feel! It didn't mean it didn't hurt! Sam walked straight towards Freddie and Natalie. Her initial thought was to beat their asses with a butter sock but seeing as how she didn't have a sock or butter that idea was out. Instead she approached them with a sugary smile that screamed crazy!

"Hey! Having a good time with your little lady friend?" Disdain was dripping on every word.

Sam was met by a shocked and wide eyed Freddie. "Sam?" He questioned cautiously.

"Hey, I'm Nat—"

"I wasn't talking to you!" Sam shut Natalie up.

"Whoa! What are you doing? !" Freddie stepped inbetween Sam and Natalie.

"What am I doing? What are _you_ doing? !" She asked signaling to Natalie.

Carly suddenly approached Sam from behind. "Come on, Sam let's just go inside." She tried coaxing her away. Sam stared Freddie down her usual bright blue eyes burning a dark sapphire. She finally gave way and let Carly lead her into the house.

Freddie watched them leave and he turned to Jayden for some sort of explanation. Jayden sighed, "She saw you making out with her." He pointed at Natalie who was standing there confused.

Freddie shut his eyes feeling guilt wash over him. He never meant to cause problems he was just having a good time and the kiss had caught him off guard as much as the next person. "I have to go talk to her." He felt someone pull his arm he turned and saw Natalie's hand on his arm.

"Where are you going? I thought you said you didn't have a girlfriend!" She demanded answers.

"I don't." It was the truth.

"So then who cares! Screw her!" She yelled.

Freddie froze. _Who cares?_ He thought. "I care." He pulled his arm free and walked away to look for Sam.

He ran through the house looking for signs of Carly and Sam. He spotted Carly going up the stairs and ran to catch up. Sam ran into the bathroom but before she could shut the door he managed to get in.

"Get out!" Sam shouted pointing at the door angrily.

"No." Freddie answered calmly.

"Freddie! I'm serious get out!" She warned.

"No." He said firmly. "Not until you tell me what the hell just happened."

Sam was silent. She didn't want to have this confrontation she was still pissed, mostly at herself but pissed nonetheless.

"I don't get you sometimes! One moment you're there and you're responsive and then you're so cold and distant that I feel like I imagined the previous. Like last night for example!" He leaned his head back against the door and shut his eyes.

Sam was still silent she didn't know what to say. How was she supposed to answer that? Was she supposed to say she was doing for his own good? He'd never buy that.

"Sam you have to give me something. Anything! I deserve that much." He implored.

"I…" She couldn't meet his eyes. "I don't know."

"No, no, no." He shook his head and pushed himself off the door to step closer to her. "That's not enough anymore. What the hell went down just now? At least answer me that!"

Her heart was beating hard against her rib cage. "I don't know! I don't what you want me to tell you because I don't know! That's all I have!" She could feel the threat of tears begin to sting her eyes. Don't cry she told herself. Don't cry!

"Then I can't do this anymore, Sam." Freddie sighed in defeat.

Sam raised her eyes to meet his. "What do you mean?"

"I mean just that. That I can't keep doing this! This fucked up game we have going on! It's exhausting and I'm tired of playing. So if you can't tell me what it is you want then I'm done. And I'm done for good." He didn't even blink. He was serious this time. No matter how many times he had said it before there had never been so much finality until now.

This made Sam's anger flare again. She didn't like ultimatums. "Don't threaten me!" She spat.

"I'm not threatening you." He said calmly. There was silence for a few seconds but the tension was eating them both up. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just tell me what you want! What do you want from me, Sam? !" He shouted and Sam could hear the desperation in his voice. He really was at his wits' end.

The words 'you' screamed in her head and she opened her mouth to try and say it but she couldn't speak. Instead she stared into his dark brown eyes trying to convey everything with her eyes. Freddie stared back and he was able to see her dark orbs return to their normal color but there was something more. They both breathed loudly trying to regain their composure. The tension was thick and holding them steady. In a sudden swift move they both lunged at each other. Their mouths met in a searing kiss. It was eager and desperate. Sam opened her mouth and granted Freddie's tongue entrance. Upon contact heat traveled through her body that coated every cell in her body. Freddie gripped her hips tighter pulling her in closer and Sam ran her hands through this hair tugging to bring his mouth closer. Close was not close enough. Freddie pushed her against the sink and then lifted her; Sam quickly wrapped her legs around his waist. The kisses became more intense and sloppy. "I want you." Sam whispered into his ear in a husky voice full of lust. Freddie continued his attack on her neck trailing wet open mouth kisses up her jaw line and down to her collar bone. He put his hands up her shirt and caressed her lower back. "Off." She instructed and lifted her hands. Freddie hesitated for a second before obeying; his mind was foggy with lust. Her shirt was off and they crashed into each once again. Sam's hands trailed under his shirt and could feel the smooth skin she had really missed this. She began to unbuckle his pants and Freddie paused momentarily. "I want you." She repeated and Freddie found it difficult to say no. She continued to undo his pants and slid her hand in. She was able to feel just how badly he wanted her and it made something inside her burn even more. She wrapped her small, delicate fingers around his erection eliciting a groan from Freddie. He moved his mouth back up to kiss her and when his tongue collided with hers once again he was able to taste the alcohol. His brain finally kicked in and he pulled away.

"Wait, wait, wait." He whispered.

"What's wrong?" She was out of breath.

"We can't do this." He cupped her face when he saw her frown. "I want to. Believe me I want to but not like this."

"Not like what?"

"You've been drinking and I just… It doesn't feel right. I don't want to take advantage of you." He explained.

"You're not taking advantage I want to do this." She replied but Freddie was able to see the anger begin to rise again. He shook his head and Sam pulled his hands away. She hopped off the counter and reached for her shirt. "So you can't do it with me but you could do it with her!" The rejection was settling deep inside of her.

"What are you talking about?" Freddie asked trying to stay calm and not rile her up more.

"You know what I'm talking about!" She glared.

"That has nothing to do with this." He tried to reason.

"Right. You barely even touch me but you had no problem jumping at the chance to fuck Carly!" She spat and opened the door to leave only to be face to face with none other than Carly and Jayden. Sam stopped feeling guilty that she had heard what she said but walked off.

"Sorry." Freddie mouthed and Carly half heartedly smiled.

"I'm going to go talk to her." She stated.

"You think that's a good idea?" Jayden asked.

"It's time. Now or never." She replied.

…

Carly knocked on the door frame of Sam's temporary room. "Hey."

Sam turned to Carly, her eyes brimming with tears. "Carly not now. I just want to be alone and this stupid room doesn't have a door!"

"We'll go to my room. Mine has a door." She reached for Sam's hand and lead her to the other bedroom.

* * *

><p>Sam hadn't stopped crying since entering the room. Carly watched her and couldn't help but hurt for her friend. She rubbed circles on her back trying to comfort her. "Sam, I know you don't want to talk but I think it's time we talked about what happened."<p>

"I don't want to." She said in between cries.

"I know but we never actually settled things. It's simply become one of those things we don't discuss and it keeps filling with things we don't say and getting bigger and bigger. It's driving us apart. And I know you don't want to be but I feel that you resent me." Carly's voice was soft and understanding the last thing she wanted to do was fight. On the contrary she wanted to settle this once and for all.

Sam sighed, a sign that she very well knew Carly was right. The brunette took that as an okay to continue.

"I know you already know how things happened. I can't begin to express how awful and sorry I am that it happened, but you have to understand that had I known you had feelings for Freddie or vice versa then I would've never done anything." She waited for Sam to answer.

Sam nodded.

"Now I'm going to finish telling you exactly what happened." Carly warned.

Sam groaned. "Carly I can't listen to this shit."

"Well you're going to have to because clearly you have some warped idea of what went down." She wanted to clear up any misconceptions Sam had.

Sam groaned once again but didn't protest. Deep down Sam wanted to know but had always been too afraid.

Carly began to retell the sequence of events. She mentioned how she had been feeling so down that she was searching for anything or anyone to make her feel worthwhile. She hated that she had used Freddie's childhood crush against him. Finally, she reached the part that mattered. "He was hesitant. I know he was unsure like something kept holding him back but I was so wrapped up in myself that I ignored it. He must've asked me if I was sure about a hundred times and I kept nodding even though deep inside I had no idea what the hell I was doing. When it finally happened I instantly regretted it. I can't speak for him but I think he had a similar thought. I tried to push all that aside though and just get it over with but the fact that I was even thinking that way added to the thought that this was a mistake. He was nervous and I don't think he knew whether to stop or not. I think he was afraid if he did it'd make it worse. It didn't matter anyway because soon I couldn't hold everything in anymore and I began to cry. Obviously he stopped and asked me if he had hurt me or if he had done something wrong but I shook my head and continued crying. After that he just held me and I explained to him what had happened. I knew he was upset with me but I think part of him was more upset with himself because he knew something was wrong and had ignored it just like I had. I think part of him promised himself never to do that again which is why he stopped you tonight. So you see it's not what you had probably been imagining this whole time. It was literally almost nothing and it was awful and a big mistake. I could tell that his ego was a little bruised. I mean what guy wants a girl to cry. We had considered keeping it between us but when you walked in I couldn't keep quiet I thought you deserved to know because we told each other everything." Carly sighed. "I'm really sorry."

Sam's tears had finally subsided and she had listened on with full concentration. Although, it didn't change the fact that they had sex somehow she felt a little better. Because Carly was right in her mind she had envisioned some fairytale type of love making. "It's hard sometimes. I feel like one day he's gonna realize he wants you just because for the most part he always had a thing for you."

Carly shook her head. "Sam, he had some childhood crush and like all crushes it eventually went away.

"But what if it didn't? Or it returns?" She asked worried.

"It won't. Sam… Freddie loves you. I mean he really loves you. He and you grew up together, you guys built a friendship, established a foundation that gradually grew into more. That's how I know that it won't return." Carly rationalized.

"I guess." Was all the blonde managed to say. She yawned.

"I'll let you get some rest." Carly stated noticing the sleepy eyes on her friend's face.

"Okay."

Carly stood up and made her way to the door. "Carls," Sam called out.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Carly smiled. "Anytime."

…

Outside the party was winding down. A few people remained scattered around. Carly walked out onto the patio where Jayden and Freddie sat on the stairs nursing their beers. She took a seat next to Freddie who instantly turned to her. "How is she?"

"She's fine. She's sleeping it off now." Carly assured.

"Do you think she'll mind if I stay with her for the night?" Freddie asked Carly.

She thought about it for a bit but decided it really wasn't up to her. "That's up to you. All I ask is to let her rest."

"Yeah, absolutely." Freddie stood up. "Goodnight guys." He turned to Carly, "And Carly, thanks."

"How did it go?" Jayden asked.

"I think things should get a little better. I think it was necessary." She answered. She leaned her head on his shoulder and Jayden hissed. "Oooops, sorry." She frowned.

"It's okay." He stood up and laid his hand out for her, "Come on lets go to bed." Carly reached for his hand and stood up. "Maybe you can apply some more aloe." He smiled.

"Sounds good." Carly smiled back.

…

Freddie sat on the corner chair watching Sam sleep. The day's events circled around his head and in a way he was glad things had turned out how they had because it had forced them both to come to terms with their situation. He watched her sleep until he dozed off.

* * *

><p><strong>The following morning…<strong>

Sam's eyes fluttered open she squinted trying to adjust to the light which was making her headache worse that's when she noticed Freddie's sleeping form on the chair. She smiled to herself. Did he stay here all night, she wondered. Then the events of last night came crashing down on her and she felt a wave of panic and shame wash over her. What had she done? She began to move slowly not to wake him. She had managed to make it half way to the door when she heard him.

"Sam?"

She turned around cheeks flushed red with embarrassment.

"We need to talk." He said stretching out his limbs.

"Now?" She asked.

"Yeah."

Sam ran her hand through her hair. She knew they were going to have to talk but she didn't imagine this early and this moment. Still, considering last night's disaster she figured she owed him as much. "Okay." She made her way to the edge of the bed and sat down facing him. "So…"

"So… what happened last night?" He decided there was no better way than to jump in.

"With which part?"

"Are you going to start?" He exhaled.

"I'm not starting anything I'm seriously asking." She replied.

"Well… start with the part where you yelled at me in front of everyone." Sam could tell that he really wasn't going let her off the hook.

"You kissed her." She said barely above a whisper.

Freddie backed off a bit. "And… that upset you?"

"No, chizz." Sam shot.

Freddie couldn't help but feel a spark of happiness at the knowledge that Sam cared. "Why?"

Sam's head shot up, "What do you mean why? Why do you think?"

"I don't know. You tell me." A smirk played on his lips.

"You think this is funny? Forget it. I'm not doing this to amuse you." She stood up and Freddie reached for her.

"Okay. You're right. I'm sorry." He shot her a smile and Sam couldn't help but give in.

"It bothered me, okay? I don't know why… well I do know why… but I tried really hard for it not to." She rambled. "Watching you with her… watching you kiss her… I don't know…" She let her head drop. "It hurt."

Freddie kneeled before her trying to look into her eyes. "I'm sorry. Believe me hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted to do."

"I'm sorry I caused a scene." She bit her lip.

Freddie placed his hands on her thighs. "Sam?" He waited her to look at him before continuing. "How do you feel about me?"

She quickly averted her eyes and tried to move away but he held her in place. "You already know."

"No." He shook his head. "Actually I don't know. I know how I feel. You know how I feel. Yet somehow we've managed to miss the point of this whole thing."

"And what's that." She questioned.

"How _you_ feel."

Sam exhaled. Suddenly her throat felt tight and it was hard to breathe. He was right. She never really expressed her feelings… with words. "I… I don't know."

Freddie shook his head and stood up. Sam instantly felt cold. "That's not good enough."

Sam knew she cared about him she knew that much. She had thrown the word 'love' around before but she had never said it out loud and it terrified her. I mean did she _love_ him? How was she supposed to know? "Well how am I supposed to know?"

"Sam, if you have to ask yourself that question… then it should say something." His shrunk into himself. Sam's eyes began to sting. "I guess that's that." He spoke softly and turned to walk out the door.

Panic racked Sam's body. He was leaving. This time it was for good. Say something you idiot! Her mind ran through hundreds of memories. Memories when they'd argue, memories of teasing each other, of getting along, intimate conversations, kissing, heartbreaking memories. They flooded her mind all of them and in that moment she knew she didn't want to be without them. She couldn't be without them. Each memory no matter how light or heavy mattered to her because he was there. She did love him. Her heart knew it. Her heart loved him before her mind was able to catch up.

"Freddie…" She turned around tears streaming down her face. His back was to her and he his head was slightly turned, she knew he was listening.

"I love you."

* * *

><p><strong>So... what do you think? Let me know in a review! :)<strong>


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the follows, favorites, and reviews I appreciate all of them! Wish I could've gotten this out sooner but I was hit with a bit of writers block and loss of inspiration, but its back so yay! Hope you enjoy this chapter.  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: iCarly and the character belong to Dan Schneider except Jayden he's all mine!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 24: Future Starts Slow<strong>

Carly lay staring at the ceiling. Last night had been quite eventful but now it was time to deal with her problems. She couldn't get passed what Jayden said to her and she was ready to have that conversation. It left a really uneasy feeling in her stomach and the sooner she could resolve, the better she'd feel.

Jayden opened his eyes to the bright room and squinted. Through his half opened eyes he noticed Carly's somber stare. "Good morning." He said with a raspy, sleepy voice.

Carly quickly changed her demeanor. "Morning." She smiled. Jayden watched her he knew something was up.

"You alright?" He asked, sitting up a little more.

Carly bit her lip. She was trying to decide how to approach the topic. Should she do it now? After breakfast? Either way it was going to be unpleasant she figured and deciding that now was as good a time as ever. The brunette slowly shook her head.

His concern grew quickly. "What's wrong?"

"I…we… we need to talk about last night." There was no denying that she was nervous. Up to this point they had never really had a fight it was new territory to her. Wait… were they even fighting? She wondered.

"What about it?" His mind instantly went to exactly what she was referring to but asked either way.

"Well…" Carly dragged the last letter. She stared at him trying to convey what she was trying to say but he wasn't getting it. "Did you mean what you said?"

"When?" He mentally kicked himself. He knew what she was talking about and still played stupid. He was making it worse.

Carly tried to keep her patience and internally rolled her eyes. Was he really going to make her say it? "You know what I'm talking about, Jayden." She said in a serious tone.

Jayden shut his eyes and sighed before fixing his eyes on hers. "No. Of course not."

"Then wh—"

"Because I'm a dumbass! Look, I'm sorry I shouted at you. I shouldn't have done that. I'm also sorry for saying what I said. It's not your fault. I didn't mean it." He said cutting her off.

"I just don't want you to feel like you have to change who you are because of me. Or feel like all you do are mistakes because I don't feel that way at all." She explained.

Jayden listened on. He didn't want her to feel guilty. He hadn't meant to put it on her at all but if he was honest with himself sometimes he felt like he didn't deserve her. To him Carly was innocent. She was good and smart. She was basically the opposite of him. She made him want to be better not just for her but for himself. Sometimes he just felt like a fuck up. He'd never been with someone like her before. She made him feel things he never felt and it scared the shit out of him. "I know…" That's all he was able to offer.

Carly heard the defeat in his voice. She wasn't convinced he actually believed what she was saying. "Do you?" She asked, placing her hand on his cheek and looking into his dim green eyes. He couldn't say much. It was really intimate and he felt exposed. "I don't want you to feel like you can't do things you like or be who you are to please me. I love how you are." She gave him a warm smile.

It was contagious and Jayden couldn't help but smile, too. "But you have to admit that you're not fond of _everything _I do."

"Well, I just don't understand it. I grew up viewing things as good or bad. Black and white. It didn't leave much room for gray area. I don't have much experience with anything that isn't considered 'good' because I steer far from it. And what little experience I do is because of Sam. She keeps me from being a priss and I keep her out of jail." She joked and scooted closer. "Now, I have you to keep me on my toes." She smiled.

"And you're gonna keep me out of jail?" He quirked an eyebrow.

"Something like that." She smirked. "Listen, I don't have a problem with you smoking or whatever so long as it doesn't interfere with us or your life. I just overreacted last night because it caught me by surprise and you attempted to lie to me." She explained.

Jayden chuckled. "Babe, it's not like I can't live without it. It's like drinking… I don't drink all the time nor do I feel the need. But it's like at parties or after a long day… you know sometimes you feel like having a beer or two... it's the same concept."

"But beer isn't illegal." She pointed out.

"Well no it's not, but let I remind you that we aren't of age and so technically drinking is illegal." He rebutted.

Carly giggled. "Oh my god. That is true. I've been breaking the law!" She said in mock horror. "I guess since it's labeled a 'drug' it appears worse."

Jayden shrugged. "Still though I kinda like having a clear head so don't expect me to start smoking like a chimney just cause you're okay with it now."

"No I know. Whatever you want." She kissed him and laid her head on his chest and he held in the stinging of his sunburn. They lay there in silence. The conversation had been easy and Carly felt a relief. Jayden's concerns weren't all put to rest but for now he was okay. The comfortable silence continued until Carly spoke again. "You think Sam and Freddie are up yet?" She wondered after a moment.

"Probably not." He responded, but little did they know.

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile…<strong>

"I love you." The words had spilled out of her mouth and she couldn't do much to stop it. She stood there staring at the still form in front of her. As terrifying as it was to say the words out loud and as terrifying as it was to allow herself to feel it she felt this huge sense of relief. It was like everything she never said and everything she struggled to keep in check had become this black hole that was sucking the life out of her. Crushing and suffocating her. She had become so aware of her actions and words that she could never just be. Now it was like she could finally breathe. She was finally able to take in a huge gasp of air and the light had returned. She waited with uncharacteristic patience. The silence was deafening.

The words echoed in his mind. She loved him. She actually loved him. Freddie turned around to face her in what felt like slow motion. They looked intently at each other, both trying to secure that what had happened had actually happened. He stepped forward in large strides closing the gap between them and encircling his arms around her waist. She gasped at his sudden actions but wasted no time in wrapping her arms around his neck. They both kept their eyes fixed on each other, breathing in deeply. They were completely lost in their embrace, both seemingly trying to memorize this moment. Their breathing quickened. Sam's eyes dropped to his lips a fact that did not go unnoticed by Freddie who tightened his hold on her bringing them even closer together. Freddie leaned down and Sam raised her lips to meet his. Their lips met and a rush of passion was released. The kiss began slow but soon picked up speed. Freddie ran his lip across Sam's plump bottom lip. She opened her mouth allowing him to slip his tongue into hers. The heat emanating from his mouth sent chills down her body. If it weren't for the tight hold Freddie had on her she would have buckled. The kiss was deep and full of love, full of everything they've both wanted to say for the past weeks. It wasn't desperate or eager like before it was steady like they wanted to make sure to communicate every word properly. Freddie's hands ran up her sides and up into her blonde, messy curls. Sam's hands slid from his neck down to his chest. They broke for oxygen both panting. Freddie turned her face to him to place another small kiss on her lips. He dropped his hands to her hips and rested his forehead against hers. "You don't know how long I've waited for you to say that." He whispered. Sam shut her eyes.

They remained that way for a few minutes trying to collect their thoughts. Trying to bring their heart rate and breathing back to normal.

Finally, they broke from their embrace. Sam moved backwards to sit on the bed. This was new territory for her. Being so close and exposed she didn't know how to handle it or what to say.

Freddie stood with his thumbs in his pockets unsure of what to do next.

Sam glanced at him and noticed he was just standing there. "So… where do we go from here?"

Freddie raised his eyes with his signature side smile. "I'm not sure. I never really thought past this." He walked over to sit next to her. "Besides it's really all on you."

Sam turned her head, "What? How do you figure? Shouldn't this be a two person decision?"

"Technically, yeah." He shrugged. "But the fact remains that we both know what I want and what you want is still unknown."

Sam exhaled loudly. "This again? I think I've made enough decisions for a day."

Freddie took a deep breath she really knew how to test his patience. "It's really not that difficult."

Sam stood up and ran her hand through her curls ending on her neck. "Actually, it is. There's so much that could go wrong… there's so much at stake."

"And since when are you not a risk taker?" Freddie challenged. "Everything you do involves risks. Why would this be any different?"

Sam's stomach tied itself into a knot. How was she supposed to explain that this wasn't any ordinary risk, this one was more, it mattered so much more. She bit her lip trying to find the words to voice her thoughts. "It's different." That's all she was able to come up with.

"How?" Freddie sighed exasperated. "How is this different? I mean sure it's different in the obvious way but you're not the type to go through life afraid. I know you, Sam. I know you and you never let anything hold you back. So don't start now." He practically pleaded.

Sam stood up and walked towards the window. She needed time to think, space to breathe. She couldn't do that here, especially with Freddie cornering her, forcing answers out of her. Answers that she wasn't ready to reveal or hadn't figured out yet. She tried to think, tried to make sense of the confusion in her head. Part of her knew that he was right. She normally didn't back down from anything. But that wasn't always the case. Sure she portrayed the image of someone who could never be hurt but that wasn't real life and he had to know that. It was just a front to protect herself from situations such as these. She knew he was waiting for her to say something. She knew that he wasn't going to let her off the hook this time. He had hit his limit and he wanted answers and after revealing that she did in fact love him how was she supposed to deny him these answers? It wouldn't make sense to say I love you and not figure out what they were supposed to do with this 'love'. Sam knew that Freddie wanted to be with her, but she didn't feel he had thought things through like she had. He was thinking in the now and she was thinking in the later. Normally, it would be the other way around, it's amazing how they always ended up on opposite ends. She took a deep breath. "It's different because it matters more." She turned around to face him. "This isn't something I take lightly, okay? It scares the hell out of me. Sure I've made stupid choices on impulse without caring about the consequences but that's because I have nothing to lose in those situations. Here." She dropped her gaze and exhaled. "I have everything to lose." She had never been this opened with anyone before, especially with him. Sure they've had deep conversations but not regarding each other.

Freddie's eyes softened he had never witnessed Sam look so scared. She resembled a little girl, her fears showing. He didn't know whether to walk up to her or not. This was new territory for the both of them. He was afraid that if he got too close she'll run off both metaphorically and literally. So, she was afraid of losing him, he could understand that. It's not like he didn't have those fears in the back of his mind, the only difference was he wasn't letting them control him. "I understand that." He spoke gently. There was silence. Sam still had her eyes fixed on the floor. Freddie took a few steps closer but not too much, he didn't want to startle her. "Sam…" He waited to see if she would look at him but when she didn't he continued. "I'm scared, too." That caught her attention and she raised her blue eyes to meet his. They were so wide and huge, full of questions and confusion.

"You are?" Her voice trembled.

Freddie saw this as an invitation to move closer. He reached out and grabbed her hand pulling her towards the bed so they could sit. "Of course I am. I mean I've never had these feelings before… for anyone." He scooted back and maneuvered his body to face her. "I know what the consequences are. I do. I'm fully aware of them. I know that if we were to not work out for some reason it could potentially ruin things between us." He paused. "Still… even though I know that," He brushed a blonde curl from her face, "the thought of not being with you or not even giving it a shot is more frightening." Sam stared at him in confusion.

"How is that scarier?"

He gave her a lopsided smile. "Because the thought of knowing that I could miss out on possibly one of the greatest things to ever happen to me is just unacceptable. There's more to lose if we run from it instead of giving in."

Sam's heart fluttered. She never considered it that way and she never expected to mean so much to someone. She wanted to smile but she was still unsure. Freddie saw the hesitation in her eyes but he also saw the possibility sparkle.

"How about this… How about we take it slow." He tipped her chin up. "If we take it slow that way you don't have to feel overwhelmed and it'll give you a chance to let it sink in." He quirked an eyebrow, "Because from the look on your face it hasn't fully sunk in yet." He smiled warmly and encouragingly.

Sam rolled her eyes in a playful manner. His idea didn't sound bad in her head and she was torn between giving in and saying no so this was a good compromise wasn't it? "Slow, huh?"

"Slow." He reassured, smiling.

"Slow." Sam nodded in agreement a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. Their eyes were fixed on each other's both fighting the huge grins that wanted to spread across their faces.

* * *

><p><strong>A week later…<strong>

Sam and Carly lounged on the ice cream sandwich loveseat and sofa. "So how are things with you and Freddie?" The brunette asked.

Sam looked up with a smile. "Pretty good. I've hardly had the urge to kick his ass." Her smile expanded into a grin.

Carly couldn't help but laugh. She had noticed obvious changes in her two best friends' behavior; they were nicer and more playful with each other. It was nice to see they were working through their issues despite how bizarre it was. "That's awesome. I was wondering when you guys were going to work things out. Speaking of which… where are you guys in terms of your relationship?"

Sam pondered her question for a bit. She really wasn't sure what they were all she knew is that things had gotten much better and they were spending more time together. They hadn't kissed or anything like that because of the whole "taking it slow" agreement but that didn't mean they didn't flirt or that she wanted to. "I'm not sure. We're kinda just taking it a day at a time I guess."

Things had gotten better, normal even. Well as normal as it could get. During the week Sam and Freddie hung out one on one more often. They were even nice to each other which was difficult for everyone to get used to but were quickly catching on.

As if on cue Freddie suddenly walked through Carly's door causing both girls to turn their heads. He stood there watching them before finally speaking. "So… am I doing iCarly on my own today or what?" Carly and Sam turned to look at each other then at the time and then back to each other.

"Oh, crap!" Sam stated as she stood up looking around for her shoes before heading up to the studio.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Carly reprimanded Freddie as she walked past him.

"Seriously!" Sam added.

He turned towards them incredulously. "I've been waiting for you guys this whole time!" They argued all the way up to the studio.

…

"…and we're clear." Freddie announced placing his camera down on his tech cart. "Good job, guys."

"So, what do you guys want to do?" Carly asked.

Sam and Freddie shot glances at each other. "Ummm…" They both mumbled.

Carly deadpanned, "You both have plans don't you?" They both shyly nodded. Carly sighed, "Whatever, go on. Shoo," she motioned, "go be in love." Sam and Freddie scurried off. Carly looked around the room with a pout, she was used to having her friends now what was she going to do? Yeah, she had Jayden but lately he had been busy working at his uncle's garage.

…

Carly trudged down the stairs. "Hey, little sister!" Spencer greeted as he walked past her to the kitchen.

Hmph, Carly grunted and plopped onto the couch.

Spencer watched he from behind the counter. "Why the long face, kiddo?"

"My best friends are busy being in love with each other and have no time for me! My boyfriend is too busy working and has no time for me! No one has time for me!" She sank deeper into the couch.

"Oh." Was all Spencer managed to say. He knew this was going to turn into a long talk and he had somewhere to be in the next 15 minutes. "Well, sucks to have no friends. I'm going to go out with mine. See ya!" He said racing out the door.

"Hey!" She exclaimed after him. "Well that's just great! Not even my own brother has time for me." She pouted.

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile…<strong>

Sam and Freddie walked out of the lobby onto the bright, sunny but still chilly Seattle streets. "So, what do you want to do?" He asked turning to face her.

Sam turned to him, "I thought you wanted to the mall and get your nerd gear."

He gave her a lopsided smile, "I did, but I don't really feel like being around a lot of people." Sam raised an eyebrow at him. "Not like that!" He shook his head at the implications of his words, "I meant like go somewhere else."

Sam couldn't help but smile widely at his dorkiness. "I see." She nodded still teasing him. He narrowed his eyes at her and she laughed. "C'mon." She said and began walking.

"Where are we going?" He asked catching up to her.

"I don't know. Anywhere. Everywhere." She signaled in front of her with wide arms.

Freddie nodded. "Sounds good."

…

They walked aimlessly for a while talking about everything and nothing. Both teens ended up walking through a nearby park in comfortable silence, taking in their surroundings and enjoying each other's company.

After a few minutes Sam sighed which caught Freddie's attention. "What's that sigh for?" He asked.

Sam smiled and turned her eyes to him nodding. "It's nothing." She replied before turning her eyes to the ground.

Freddie watched her, "Tell me."

She turned her eyes towards him once again and bit her lip. The blonde hesitated a moment, "It's just nice, you know..." She shrugged and he continued watching her waiting for her to continue. "Being able to simply… _be_… around someone without having to be constantly talking… filling each silent void." She elaborated and walked forward towards an open field and plopping onto the grass. Freddie followed and sat next to her. They were both quiet for a moment before Sam began to laugh.

"What's funny?" He asked a smile on his lips.

"It's ironic how you mention comfortable silences and suddenly they become so awkward." They laughed in unison trying to push the awkwardness away. It worked because soon their chuckling ceased and they were back to that comfortable place. Sam who had her arms wrapped around her legs and rested her chin on her knees inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of the earth that smelled like rain. She loved that smell, the way the dirt came alive and the scent of rain permeated every surface for days. Sam closed her eyes and exhaled and lay back.

Freddie whose gaze was lost in the distance was brought back with Sam's movement he turned to look behind him before joining her. He really enjoyed this, being like this with her, he tore his eyes from the silver streaked blue sky and turned his head towards her. There was something he had been curious to know, "Can I ask you something?"

His words broke through her train of thought. She turned to him a little warily. What did he want to know, she wondered, especially since he had to ask for permission. _Oh shut the hell up and answer him_, she told herself and she complied. "Yeah… sure."

He could see the panic stricken look in her eye and chuckled, "Relax, will you?" Sam rolled her eyes in a playful manner. "So can I continue?"

"Yes! Go on." She said with a wave of her hand.

Freddie swallowed hard. "When did you first realize… that… um you… you know…liked me?"

Sam stared at him with wide eyes. She wasn't expecting that but then again she didn't know what to expect. She breathed in. This wasn't a scary question, embarrassing, maybe, but not scary. She laughed inwardly and rolled her head back towards the sky. "I don't know the exact moment but I do remember…" She paused. "This is stupid."

"It's not stupid. I really want to know, come on." He figured he was going to have to give her a little nudge.

"Ah, fine. So it was random… Carly, you, and I were at the Groovy Smoothie like we usually are and I forget what we were talking about but we were all laughing at something… probably something I said because well you know," She pointed at herself and Freddie smiled and shook his head at her, "Anyway we're laughing and I'm watching you then you looked at me and I don't know what it was but…" Sam's nerves jumble into knots, she glanced over at Freddie who watched her attentively and for some reason his eyes deep eyes calm her. "Something inside me just went off. I remember thinking how cute you looked just sitting across from me, laughing so dorkily." She smiled nostalgically at the memory. "But I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised I mean I had already stopped seeing you as the creepy neighbor boy." She turned to him with her signature smirk.

Freddie was still smiling goofily, "Wait, what? !" Sam laughed out loud. "When was I creepy neighbor boy?" Sam gave him a look that said 'seriously?' Freddie rolled his eyes, "Fine, point taken. So when did I stop being creepy neighbor boy?" He asked intrigued.

"Now, that's even way more embarrassing." She said shaking her head.

"No, come on. You don't have to be embarrassed. I want to know. I'd love for you to tell me and besides if you tell me I'll tell you when you stopped being the blonde headed demon." He raised his eyebrows hoping she'd take the deal.

"Hold up, I stopped being the blonde headed demon? !" She asked shocked. "I liked that one." She half teased.

He narrowed his eyes at her. He loved it when she was playful, but the mischievous look in her eyes and the way her lips pursed together to stifle a smile drove him crazy and made it difficult to control himself. All he wanted to do was pull he towards him and kiss her, however he couldn't. "Well if you tell me I might consider bringing it back."

She could tell he wasn't going to let up. "It was when we first…" Her eyes darted around, "when we kissed." She swallowed. "I guess…well I felt bad for telling everyone you hadn't kissed anyone even though I hadn't either. Once I saw how bummed out you were, I… I don't know I guess I realized that you and I we weren't as different as I initially thought. That's why when I apologized I suggested that we'd," She signaled between the two of them, "So afterwards I don't know you weren't creepy neighbor boy you were just _you_, nerdy but not creepy." She smiled and looked at him and was taken aback by the tenderness in his eyes that was simply for her.

"As bummed as I was at that moment I am glad it happened." He spoke in a softer tone. "Otherwise you would've never gone out onto that fire escape to apologize and worst we wouldn't have kissed." Sam couldn't tear her eyes away from his it was like she was captivated. "There's no one else in this world that I'd want to have my first kiss with than you." He spoke barely above a whisper, their faces merely inches from each other. Suddenly every cell in their bodies came alive and their senses were heightened. The cool moist from the grass became apparent and contrasted to the heat radiating from their bodies. Their positions became apparent and they could feel how close and far they were from each other. Freddie was able to feel the warmth coming off Sam's hand onto his. Sam and Freddie kept their eyes fixed on each other neither wanting to interrupt the fragile moment. Sam gently reached out with her fingers and lightly caressed the top of his hand and those feather like touches felt like an electric current rushing up his arm. He let his hand fall open, palm up, slowly moving closer and Sam never taking her from him slid her hand into his feeling nothing but warmth and safety as his hand encased hers. As much as he wanted to kiss her, he felt this was better, it was more intimate. He could wait. He would wait. For now this was perfect.

* * *

><p><strong>Somewhere in Downtown Seattle…<strong>

Carly stepped off the bus onto the sidewalk, she checked her PearPhone once more to make sure she was walking in the right direction. Instead of moping at home she had decided to surprise Jayden. She reached her destination and pushed open a fence door, "Um, hello?" She said as she walked past the parked cars until she reached a small office. She peeked in and saw no one in there. "Helllloooo?" She walked past the office to the main area where two cars sat with their hoods opened. "Anyone here?"

"Can I help you, little missy?"

Carly screamed and jumped back as a man rolled from under one of the cars.

"Whoa, whoa there." The man signaled for her to settle down. He stood up and wiped the oil on his jeans. The man looked to be around his mid to late 40s. He has silver streaks in his hair and kind eyes a lot like Jayden's. The name on his shirt read Nelson.

"Oh sorry." Carly apologized, "You just scared me." She said still clutching her chest.

"It's alright. What can I do you for?" Nelson asked.

"Oh." Carly shook out of her fright. "I'm looking for Jayden."

"Jayden?" The man looked confused. "Why he's not here."

Carly's brows furrowed, "Do you know what time he'll be back?" She asked perplexed.

Jayden's uncle reached for his water bottle and took a drink. "Back? He didn't come in today." He explained.

"What do you mean? Is he sick or something?" Carly didn't understand what this man was talking about.

"That boy ain't sick, said he needed some days off so I gave 'em to him." Nelson tried to explain to the obviously confused brunette standing in front of him.

"Oh! Right, right!" Carly feigned understanding. "I must've forgotten." She facepalmed and began to back out of the garage.

"Wait, why are you looking for Jayden? Have some kind of car trouble?" He called after her.

"No, no car trouble." Carly forced a smile.

"Well you wanna leave a message or something? What's your name?"

"Um, my name's… Sam!" She lied and turned on her heel and walked out of there quickly. What the hell was going on? She wondered. Last night she had asked if she was going to get to see him and he had said no that he was working and she even tried him in the morning to see if she could change his mind and he had said he wished he could. Now his uncle was saying he'd asked for days off? Carly's mind was reeling. He had lied to her, but why? Why would he need to lie? Did he not want to see her? Where was he if he wasn't here? Or…with who? Carly shook her head trying to clear all these questions from her head. There had to be a perfectly logical reason, right? Yeah, there had to be a logical reason as to why he lied and has been avoiding you! She couldn't help but feel upset. There was no damn logical reason.

* * *

><p><strong>In the outskirts of Seattle…<strong>

Jayden sat against the side of his car tapping his foot to the music playing from his car. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell the time read 6:15pm. "Late as usual." He said to himself.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late." Spencer said as he approached Jayden. "Carly delayed me." He explained.

"It's cool." Jayden said reaching into his car to turn it off. "I just hope this is the one. I don't know how much longer I can keep up the 'I'm busy working' charade. Carly's really been grinding me for it."

"Tell me about it she was all mopey today." Spencer added making Jayden's guilt worse. "Ah don't worry, man. She'll get over it once she finds out it was for this besides I have a good feeling about this one." Spencer patted Jayden's back.

"Yeah, well I hope so. We've been up and down Washington all week and as much as I like ya, I'd like to spend this time with my girlfriend." Jayden walked forward, "Come on let's go see it."

Carly's birthday was coming up and Spencer had the brilliant idea to get Carly a car of her own since she was turning 18. The downside was that he couldn't afford a brand new car and opted to get her a used one and since he didn't know much about cars he asked Jayden to come with him to check them out. They had been all over the place from Yakima to Olympia, and even Portland, and Spencer always found something he didn't like from each car they a saw.

Spencer knocked on the door and a big burly man with a beard appeared. "Yeah?"

"Uh, hi." An intimidated Spencer spoke, "I'm looking for Wrench."

"That'd be me." Wrench opened the door and stepped out. "You here about the car?" A wide eyed Spencer nodded. "Well come on back let me show it to you." Despite Wrench's intimidating size and demeanor he was plenty polite and friendly.

They looked at the car it was an all navy blue BMW with some obvious wear and tear. They inspected the outside which had some light scratches. The inside was intact but could use a little cleaning. Spencer turned to the man, "Do you mind if he checks under the hood?"

"Not at all be my guest. The engine is should all be fine." He threw the keys at Jayden. "Car used to belong to my son but he got himself a newer car and didn't want this one anymore. I tell ya about kids these days nothing impresses them anymore."

"And you don't want it?" Spencer asked.

"Ah, nah. Not really my style besides my boy is off to the big apple so this money will come in handy." Wrench went on and on.

Jayden checked the engine and test drove it around the area. "Everything looks and sounds good. What do you think, Spence?"

Spencer eyed the car carefully, "Carly doesn't like blue."

Jayden rubbed his face. "I can fix that. An easy paint job any color you want. It's in great shape and a good price."

"Hmm," Spencer tapped his chin. "What about those scratches?"

"Fixable." Jayden stated.

"And this dent?"

"Also, fixable."

"What about—"

"It's all fixable! The important part is how it runs and the engine. The outside is all fixable!" Jayden interjected finally having lost his patience.

Spencer turned to him then smiled widely. "We'll take it!" He said to the big guy.

…

They pulled into the garage. "You sure we can leave it here?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah, it'll be fine. I'm gonna be working on it anyway." Jayden responded. "Oh, hey! Uncle Nel." He greeted.

"What's this?" Uncle Nelson asked pointing to the car.

"Oh, it's my new project," his uncle began to shake his head, "and before you say no let me remind you that it was good to have a side project so that I didn't get bored with the routine stuff. Well this is my side project. I'm just taking your advice." Jayden said innocently.

Uncle Nelson shook his head, "You think you're clever boy, but if you so much as slack off on our current work it's out of here." He stipulated.

"I won't!" He grinned. "Okay, I'm gonna go take my friend here home."

"Oh, that reminds me someone came to see you." Uncle Nelson informed.

Jayden paused. "Who?"

"Um, said her name was Sam, awkward little thing."

"Sam?" Jayden repeated.

"That's what I said. Now I'll see you this weekend you've slacked off enough already." He said turning away.

Jayden turned to Spencer, "Why would Sam come looking for me?"

"Beats me."

"Well let's go. I want to surprise Carly." He said jumping into his car.

"Dude, if you weren't dating my sister I'd tease you for being so whipped." Spencer teased.

"Shut up, at least I have a girlfriend." He shot back and pulled out onto the street.

"I'd have you know I'm a ladies man!" Spencer defended.

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

><p><strong>At the Groovy Smoothie…<strong>

Sam and Freddie sat across from each other sipping on their smoothies. "So I've been thinking it's been over a week since we decided to give this a try."

"Uh huh." Sam responded unsure of where he was going with this.

"So I feel I've given you enough time to get over the initial shock and so…" He cleared his throat, "Sam, will you go on a date with me?"

Sam's eyes went wide. Well wasn't he just full of surprised today, she thought. "Seriously? You're asking me right now?"

"Yeah, what's the big deal?" Freddie said in a cool manner for some odd reason he wasn't worried about being rejected. Maybe it was because of how close he felt to her due to the afternoon of honesty or perhaps he was used to it.

"No big deal, just unexpected… I guess." Sam's cheeks were burning red. She was never good at all this romance stuff.

"So…" Freddie waited for her answer.

"Oh, right. Um…" She inhaled and exhaled. "Yeah." She nodded.

"Yeah, what?" Freddie pushed.

"Don't push it, Benson." She threatened.

Freddie laughed. He kept a cool demeanor but inside he was ecstatic!

* * *

><p><strong>Back at Bushwell…<strong>

Spencer and Jayden walked through the door of apartment 8-C. "Carly! I'm back!" Spencer shouted throughout the apartment.

"I'm gonna go check upstairs." Jayden stated.

"No, hanging out alone in her room." Spencer reminded.

"I know." Jayden climbed the stairs two at a time. He peeked into Carly's bedroom and didn't see any trace of her. He decided to check the studio but still there was no sign of her. He came back down. "She's not here."

"Hmm, that's odd she had set up camp on the couch when I left. Maybe she went out with Sam and Freddie." Spencer suggested.

"Yeah, maybe." He pulled out his phone and dialed Carly's number.

…

Carly looked down at her phone and saw Jayden's name and face appear. She didn't want to talk to him but at the same time she wanted answers. She'd spent the whole afternoon imagining the worst possible scenarios that she didn't even know what to think. She couldn't back track her mind had gone in too deep. Screw it. "Hello." She said in her coldest tone possible.

…

Jayden was taken aback by her tone. "Hey, babe. Where are you? I decided to stop by and see you."

Oh, now he wants to see me, she thought. "Oh you are?" She tried faking enthusiasm but wasn't doing a good job. "I thought you were _working_?" She wanted to test him.

Carly sounded odd to Jayden. Was she pissed? "Uh, yeah well I got off early and wanted to see you." He half lied. Freddie and Sam walked into the apartment and Jayden stood up to walk to the kitchen for privacy. "Um where are you?" He asked again.

"I'm out." She said flatly. "Came to the mall with Sam and Freddie." She openly lied. She was pissed he lied to her again!

"Sam and Freddie, huh?" He repeated turning to look at the pair sitting on the couch. "Well are you guys going to come back soon?"

"Yeah." There was silence. Both were waiting to see if they'd add anything but neither said nothing. "Look I have to go." The line went dead. Jayden took the phone from his ear and checked to see if the call had ended. That was strange. Why was she lying and why did she sound upset? He walked back to the living room, "Uh, was something up with Carly today?" He asked Sam and Freddie.

"Not that I know of, why?" Sam responded first.

"No reason." He scratched the back of his head completely confused as to what the hell was going on. He took a seat next to Sam. "Oh I almost forgot. What did you need earlier?"

Sam turned to look at him bewildered. "Me?"

"Yeah, my uncle said you stopped by looking for me." He explained.

Sam furrowed her brows, "I came looking for you? It wasn't me."

"He said that Sam, you, came looking for me." What the hell was going on with everyone today?

"No I didn't." Sam firmly stated.

"That's true, dude. She was with me all afternoon." Freddie interjected.

"Then who…..?" It suddenly dawned on him. If Sam didn't go looking for him then it was probably Carly, but then again why would she say she was Sam. Nothing was making sense.

* * *

><p><strong>A couple hours later…<strong>

Carly dragged herself into the apartment. She was mentally exhausted. The spent brunette hung her bag and turned only to be faced with her boyfriend. Their eyes met briefly before she made her way to the kitchen completely ignoring him. "I texted you." She heard him say.

"I know." She responded.

"Well why didn't you reply? I've been worried." He tried to reach for her but she stepped back.

"I'm tired, Jayden." That's all she offered as an explanation and walked passed him and up the stairs.

He remained still not knowing what the hell to do. He'd never seen he upset but dammit he was upset too. He chose to follow her. "That's it?" He questioned marching into her room. "I've been waiting for you!"

Carly spun around to face him. "I didn't ask you to!"

"No, you didn't but you said you were going to be back soon and instead I sat there for over 2 hours texting you and getting nothing back. What the hell is up with you?" He needed to know.

"Nothing, I'm fine." She said flatly.

"Oh, really? Because you said you were with Sam and Freddie but they left about an hour ago and you know according to you, you were with them. So where were you?" His tone was serious. "Why are you lying to me?"

Carly's eyes grew wide in disbelief. "Why am I?" She chuckled darkly, "Why am I lying to _you_? ! Oh well isn't that something. Tell me Jayden where were you today? Jayden opened his mouth to reply when Carly cut him off. "And don't even feed me that line about working because I know you weren't!"

Jayden's jaw all but dropped. So it had been her that went to see him. Suddenly, Carly's anger didn't seem so random. His face softened. "Carly…"

"NO! Don't Carly me. I want to know why you lied to me… why you've been lying to me!" Her eyes began to sting.

"It's not like that, Carly." He tried to explain. "Okay, yes I did lie but it wasn't to hurt you."

"It wasn't to hurt me? Then what? Was I supposed to be happy about it?"

"No! Come on, babe." He stepped closer but she stepped back. How was he supposed to explain this. How was he supposed to tell her that he'd been with her brother trying to get her a birthday present without ruining Spencer's surprise. "Okay, look I know I shouldn't have lied to you. I know that and believe me I felt guilty about it. But a friend needed a favor."

"A favor? For days?" She wasn't buying it.

"Yes, I swear I'm telling you the truth." He knew that didn't have much validity right now.

"So why couldn't you just tell me that instead of lying?" In reality all she wanted to do was ask him if there was someone else. If he had been with someone else but the answer to that question scared the hell out of her and she didn't think she could handle it.

"Because, babe… I knew you wanted to hang out and I didn't want to make you feel like I was choosing someone else over you."

"But you did." She pointed out.

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "I know how all this is sounding but I need you to believe me."

She bit her lip. She wanted to believe him she did but it just didn't make sense in her head. He needed to help a friend so he lied about working instead? He was expecting her to buy this bullshit? Suddenly all the worst case scenarios bombarded her head including those of him being with someone else and her anger flared again. "Do you really think I'm stupid? !"

"Of course not! I'm telling you the truth! I know that's really hard to believe right now." His eyes were pleading. His words desperate. "What do you want me to say, Carly?"

She was silent. What did she want him to say? There was nothing to say. She couldn't even think straight. She shook her head and tears began to pool. "Nothing." She barely managed to get the word out. She took a deep breath. "There's nothing to say. I can't even think! I don't even know what to think." She was speaking fast trying to get as much out before her voice cracked.

Jayden watched her wishing he could make her feel better but he was the one who caused this and he didn't know what to do.

"I think you should go." Her words hit him hard and his heart constricted. He stared at her for a moment unable to come up with words. Carly stared back at him holding back the tears as much as possible.

"Okay…" It was barely audible. He turned around and walked out.

As soon as he was gone the tears spilled over and Carly began to sob.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't forget to review! Thanks for reading :)<strong>


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: I know! I know! I'm a horrible human being!**

**Disclaimer: iCarly does not belong to me.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 25: Misconceptions<strong>

**Two days later afterschool…**

Sam was at her locker grabbing her things to head over to Carly's. She wasn't in the greatest of moods. Today was the day of her date with Freddie. She had been looking forward to this day all week, believe it or not. However, Carly was going through a rough time and needed her. Her best friend had been moping for the past two days and she figured she would be there for her and at least try to distract her for a few hours. Freddie would understand, right?

"Hey!" a cheerful voice greeted her. A voice she knew all too well. She smiled.

"Hi." She turned to Freddie.

"So about tonight I was thinking…" Sam's eyes dropped down causing Freddie to stop in his tracks. He sighed, "You forgot didn't you?"

The blonde quickly raised her eyes, "No! Of course not."

"Then what is it? Because judging by the look on your face it can't be good." He stated. Sam's eyes darted around uncomfortably. Freddie rolled his eyes, "You're canceling aren't you?" He was getting upset.

Most people would become more uncomfortable when someone was becoming upset but for some reason it worked backwards for Sam. She was nervous when he appeared all chipper but now that he was getting upset she was becoming calmer. She set her blue eyes on him. "Calm down. I'm not canceling." She said calmly.

"Then what is it?" He asked in a more relaxed tone. The effect they had on each other was really incredible to witness.

She bit her lip, "Just… postponing." Freddie's relaxed demeanor vanished as quickly as it had appeared. "Wait, just hear me out. Carly has been going through a rough time and she needs us right now. Do you really want to go on a date while her relationship is falling apart?"

She was right, he thought. It would be a lie if he said this hadn't crossed his mind. Sam watched him expectantly. His signature side smile began to appear.

"What?" Sam asked confused.

"Nothing, you're just amazing." He said with so much warmth that Sam cheeks flushed red.

* * *

><p><strong>Later that night…<strong>

Sam entered Carly's bedroom and turned the light on. "Why's it so dark in here?"

"Shut the light off!" Carly whined from under the covers.

"Aw, come on kid. You can't just lay in bed in the dark and mope." She walked over and sat next to Carly.

"Yes I can!"

Sam sighed. "Look I bought goodies." She nudged Carly.

Carly pretended to have no interest. "I don't want anything…"

"You sure?" Sam enticed.

"Yes!" After a beat she spoke again, "What kind of goodies anyway?"

"Oh I don't know just some cookie dough ice cream. I guess I'll take it back." Sam stood up knowing that Carly couldn't resist.

"Wait!" She came out from under the covers and Sam smirked before handing over the pint of ice cream and spoon. Carly dived right in.

Sam sat back down. "So how you holding up?"

"Awful!" Carly said with a full mouth. The brunette peeked into the box Sam brought with her. "What else is in there?"

"More treats and some kick ass chick movies that will make you forget about everything. Wanna watch?" Carly nodded. Sam stood up and popped in the DVD. She settled in next to Carly and opened up her own pint of ice cream.

"Thank you." Carly said some time after. Sam glanced at her and smiled. Regardless of all the bad shit that they had gone through or even had between them they were always there for each other.

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile…<strong>

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" The voices reverberated throughout the house and in his ears. He took one last swallow and slammed the mug down on the counter. "Yeahh!" More cheered.

He was loaded.

His head felt heavy and the room was spinning. He needed to sit down. He made his way through the crowd, shoving them out of the way. He just wanted to lie down or throw up whichever came first. He made it to the restroom and went straight for the toilet except nothing came out. He sat down and laid his head between his knees. What the fuck are you doing? He asked himself. He knew it was a cliché to go and get hammered but his friend came calling and he said fuck it. Now he was here and all he wanted was to be home or better yet… with _her. _

"Well, well how the mighty have fallen." An old familiar voice said from the doorway.

Jayden raised his head and saw Kat standing at the doorway with a smug look on her face. "Whadoyou want?" He slurred as his head fell back.

"This is a restroom is it not? What do you think I came for?" She responded haughtily.

Her arrogance was irritating him. "Yeah, well it's fucking busy." He attempted to kick the door shut but Kat stopped it with her hand.

"Aww." She patronized. "Is someone mad because their little prissy girlfriend dumped them?" She mocked in a baby voice. Jayden's eyes snapped up at her with a mixture of rage and hurt that made Kat suddenly feel guilty. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. She let out a breath and her eyes softened. She reached down to help a struggling Jayden stand up. "Come here."

"Get off me!" He shouted and shoved her away from him.

"What the hell is your problem? I'm just trying to help you." She shouted back.

Propping himself up by the bathroom counter he sneered at her. "I don't need your fucking help!" He said right in her face before stumbling out into the hall.

Kat sighed.

She didn't bother fighting back she figured she deserved as much. She also knew how stubborn he could be. The newly dyed redhead walked behind him. "You're so damn stubborn, you know that?" She grabbed his arm which he instinctively tried to pull away but she had a firm grip. She pulled him down the hall and opened a door before swinging him in. "Sleep it off." She said before shutting the door. Jayden tried to protest but he didn't have it in him and dropped onto the bed and passed out.

...

...

...

"Has he tried talking to you?" Sam asked.

"Yeah." Carly responded. "He called this morning and texted me in the afternoon."

"And you didn't reply?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Nope." Carly said sadly.

"Maybe you should." Sam said sleepily.

"Yeah, maybe." The brunette added after a pause. By then she could hear the even breathing of her blonde best friend. She reached for her phone and brought up a familiar number and pressed send. The phone rang twice before going straight to voicemail. Carly sighed. Maybe he's asleep she thought. She decided to text him instead.

**Carly: Hey… we should talk. I can come by tomorrow around noon if that's okay. Let me know.**

She secretly hoped he'd reply or even better call. She waited 20 minutes before giving up and going to bed.

* * *

><p><strong>The following day…<strong>

"Hello peoples!" Freddie greeted as he walked in.

"Hey, Freddo! Want some waffles?" Spencer said from the kitchen.

"Oh yeah!" Freddie responded pulling out a chair at the table. "Hey," He said again but this time directly to Carly.

"Hey," She smiled her normal happy smile.

He had to admit she looked in a better mood. Freddie was going to comment on that but decided against it. He imagined Sam smacking him upside his head if he did so. He had to smile at the thought.

"Well I gotta go." Carly said getting up and taking her plate to the sink.

"Where you off to?" He wondered.

Carly smiled coyly. "To Jayden's."

Freddie grinned. "Oh good you guys worked things out?"

"Not yet but that's why I'm going." She said with hopeful eyes.

"Awesome. Good luck."

"Thanks." She said putting on her coat. "Oh, Sam is upstairs. She's still sleeping."

He nodded, "of course she is." He chuckled. Sam was not a morning person and waking her up before noon would have to be done at your own risk.

Carly giggled. "Bye!"

...

...

...

Jayden opened an eye and winced when he tried to turn around. His head was pounding and his throat was dry like sandpaper. He didn't want to move. "Ugh." He groaned. He looked around not recognizing his surroundings. Where the hell am I? He wondered. Then it all came rushing back to him. He rolled over and sat up holding his head in the process. "Fuck!" He walked and jumped over the sleeping forms scattered on the floor. He reached the living room and looked around looking for his friend Tommy.

"Hungover?" Someone says from the kitchen.

Jayden shut his eyes instantly recognizing the voice. He turned and saw Kat standing behind the island counter with an amused smile on her face. "Well if it isn't the last person I wanted to see." He said smiling cynically.

Kat cocked her head to the side and placed her hand over her heart. "Awe, you're too sweet."

He rolled his eyes and made his way to the kitchen. His throat was still dry. "What are you doing here? Why are you everywhere? You're like a rash." Jayden spat.

"Oh, Jayden flattery will get you nowhere." She said taking a sip of orange juice.

"Really? Isn't that how everybody got anywhere with you?" He raised an eyebrow and watched Kat's smile dissipate.

She wasn't one to lose and regained her composure. "Yeah, except for you." She knew that was a low blow. Now it was her turn to watch Jayden's self-satisfied expression drop.

"Lucky for me." He said before walking away to look for his friend. He wanted to get the hell out of there.

"If you're looking for Tommy you're wasting your time." Kat added. Jayden turned to look at her. "He left a while ago." She explained.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Fucking asshole." He didn't have time for this. His head was pounding, he felt like complete shit, and all he wanted to do was get home. He checked his pockets and pulled out his phone. _Dead_. Of course it was.

"Sucks not having a car." Kat cut through his thoughts. "Well I'm gonna drive mine home. See ya!" She swung her keys as she sauntered past him.

Jayden's anger multiplied. "You really enjoy this don't you?"

Kat was going to say yes but just like last night a pang of guilt struck her. She exhaled. "Not as much as I'd like to."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He furrowed his brows.

She sighed. "It means if you want a ride then get your ass in the car!" She stomped out not waiting nor wanting to see his reaction.

Jayden stood frozen. "What the fuck just happened?" He didn't stay long enough to think about it and walked out the door.

They drove in awkward silence until Jayden finally spoke. "Why are you suddenly being nice?"

"What are you talking about?" She rolled her eyes.

"First you help me get to Brandon's (guy who threw the party) room and now you're giving me a ride home. What gives?" He was genuinely interested.

Kat chewed on her lip.

"Right. Didn't expect an answer." He turned to look out the window.

"I cleaned up." She said really fast.

Jayden turned to look at her he wasn't expecting to hear that. "Oh… well that's good." He wasn't sure what that had to do with his question.

"I cleaned up so I reflected on all the shit I did." She clarified. "This is me…"

"Making amends?" He finished for her.

"Yep."

It was his turn to be quiet. He wasn't really sure what to say. "Cool, thanks." It was all he could come up with. It suddenly dawned on him that she did look different and not just because of her hair color. He also realized that she wasn't hungover this morning. That was good. He was glad for her.

"No problem." She responded and it seemed to be enough. The rest of the ride was quiet.

They pulled up to his house and things got a little awkward again. "Alright. Well good luck with your thing and thanks for the ride." He said and opened the door.

"Jayden?" He heard her say and he ducked back in.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry." She said nervously.

He smiled. "Don't worry about it."

She smiled back at him. "Okay, get the hell outta my car now." She joked for comedic relief and they both laughed.

He watched her drive off. Finally home, he thought. However, when he turned around he came face to face with Carly. Her expression was indescribable. She was completely still trying to comprehend what she just witnessed while not being able to form coherent thoughts. Jayden walked slowly up to her. "Car—"

"I gotta go. I gotta go." She waved her hands in front of her to shoo him off.

"Wait!" He chased after her. "Carly, wait!"

She turned around with fury. "For what? ! So you can lie to me some more? !"

"No! Will you just calm down for a second?" He pleaded.

"You told me you were helping a friend. A friend! And now you show up with _her_!" She inhaled. "And reeking of booze!" She stomped off.

He followed her and managed to pin her between the fence and his body. "Get off me! Let me go!"

"Will you stop? !" He tried to reason. "I know how this looks okay. I know but you need to understand that I did not… I would never cheat on you. You need to believe that much."

She stopped squirming. "Right. So while I cried myself to sleep last night you were out partying with your ex-girlfriend and yet I'm so supposed to believe what you tell me?"

"I wasn't partying with her." He clarified.

Those words took her back. Back where she hoped she'd never be again. She couldn't even rationalize. To her there was only one conclusion- he cheated. He lied and then he cheated or maybe he had been lying while cheating. The end result was cheating. Just like Stephen had done so. Same exact words too. They were all the same. He was the same. "Yeah, that's exactly what Stephen said."

His name sounded like nails on a chalkboard. He hated that guy. Hated him for having hurt her, but also, as he now realized, for ruining her. There is nothing more he despised than being compared to him. He shook his head, "Don't—"

"You're exactly the same." She said with a quivering voice.

He was going to say not to compare him to Stephen but she did something worst she made them the same person. He backed up giving her room to go.

She raised her face and looked him in the eyes. The eyes that stared back at her with pain. "We're done." She said barely above a whisper but to his ears, to his heart they were as loud as thunder. She walked away and he let her.

* * *

><p><strong>Later…<strong>

Sam and Freddie sat on the couch watching TV. They had spent the afternoon together in Carly's apartment. Sam popped some popcorn into her mouth, "You know Carls been gone for hours now. Think that's a good sign?"

"I think it's safe to say so. I mean who would fight for hours?" He wondered. They both fell silent for a moment and looked at each other before bursting into laughs.

"But you're right I don't see them as the type to bicker for hours on end." She responded taking more popcorn in.

"True and besides that's our thing." He signaled between them and smirked his signature smirk. Her eyes lighted up and a devious smirk formed on her lips. The unexpected loud slam of the door broke them both from their trance quick enough to notice Carly rush up the stairs.

Sam quickly turned to Freddie with concerned look. "That doesn't look good." He shook his head in agreement. "I should go talk to her."

"No." He placed his arm on hers to stop her. "Let me."

She was a little taken aback by his request. "Uh, yeah sure. Go for it." She watched him stand up and head up the stairs.

A few minutes past and Sam got curious. She reached the second floor and quietly walked towards Carly's doorway. You do realize you're spying, she scolded herself. She leaned against the wall and peeked in. Carly was sobbing and speaking unintelligibly while Freddie held her. She felt a pang of jealousy that she didn't want to feel. We've been through this already, she told herself in hopes of making this feeling go away. We are past this, she stated firmly. Then why the hell is it bothering me? She pushed all her insecurities away and tried to focus on what was currently going on. What had happened between Carly and Jayden that was so bad that Carly was like this? How was Jayden? She realized she hadn't spoken to him for days he must be in pretty bad shape too, right? She peeked again. Freddie had this under control. She was going to pay Jayden a visit.

...

...

...

Sam barely knocked before letting herself into Jayden's room. He turned to her annoyed. "Don't you knock?"

"I did." She said matter of factly and glanced to the screen, he was playing Call of Duty, of course.

"What are you doing here? Came to kick my ass?" He asked scornfully.

"No. But if you need me to I will." Sam spat back. He sighed and sunk deeper into his bed. "What the hell happened?" She asked while taking a seat on his couch.

"The inevitable." He said vaguely.

"What are you talking about? I thought you were going to work things out and suddenly I see Carly get home a complete wreck." She was honestly confused and concerned.

"She thinks I'm cheating on her or did… I don't know." He sighed and kept his eyes on the TV screen even though the thought of Carly crying made his heart constrict.

"Wait, what?" Sam asked confused. "She thinks you're cheating because you lied about work?" She waited for an answer but his eyes were glued on the screen. She was getting pissed at his lack of attention.

"Not quite." That's all he offered.

"Will you turn that shit off? ! I'm trying to talk to you!" She snapped.

Her sudden outburst made him flinch and he did as she asked. "I went out with Tommy, you remember him?" Sam nodded. "Okay, so we go to this party and I get shitfaced." Sam's eyes widened. "No!" He pointed. "Stop that! I didn't do anything. Then I woke up this morning and Tommy's fucking gone."

"Fucking Tommy." Sam chimed in.

"I know! Fucking unreliable! Anyway so Kat was there…" Sam's eyes widened again. "Will you stop that? Nothing happened. So she's there and she offered to give me a lift. I decided fuck it."

"Why? !" Sam cut in.

"I don't know. She was being nice and I didn't think it was a big deal. She said she was clean and making amends so I took it."

"But Carly was going to come over." Sam added.

"I didn't know that! My phone died. So she saw me get out of her car and flipped out. She accused me of cheating and said we were over. Then she left. And now we're here." He finished explaining.

Sam listened processing what he had said. "That still doesn't explain the lying."

Jayden groaned and threw his head back. "That's an even dumber story."

"Why'd you lie?" Sam questioned.

"I didn't. Well I did. But it was for a good reason." He stated. Sam stared back at him waiting for him to go on. "I was with Spencer." He revealed.

"Spencer?" Sam made a confused face.

"Yeah, he wanted to buy well actually he did buy a car for Carly and wanted me to come along to check they were good." He clarified.

Suddenly everything made so much sense. This was all a misunderstanding, a clusterfuck of a misunderstanding but a misunderstanding no less. "Why don't you just tell her that? I'm sure Spencer will understand considering your relationship is at stake."

"Yeah, I know. He already gave me the go ahead." Jayden said.

Sam's face scrunched up. "Then what the hell, dude? Why haven't you? !"

Jayden sat up. "Because I shouldn't have to!" He stated firmly. Sam was taken aback by his tone and sudden outburst, her reaction did not go unnoticed. He took a deep breath. "I can admit that I should've been honest, but she jumped to conclusions not once but twice! And these conclusions were the worst assumptions possible. It was like there was only possibility and it had to be the worst one. I had to be the worst kind of guy." He was now pacing back and forth. Sam listened intently. "You know what she called me today?" He turned to her, "She said I was just like that prick ex-boyfriend of hers!" Sam's eyes widened. "If that's what she fuckin' thinks of me then whatever. What the hell is the point if she doesn't even trust me? Hell, apparently she doesn't even fucking know me!"

Sam sat quietly simply nodding where she found it appropriate. It finally dawned on her why he had chosen to let Carly go. He was hurt, too. Hurt by Carly's distrust and opinion of him. Sam understood that Carly had reacted out of fear and spoken out of anger but contrary to what it seemed Jayden was a sensitive guy and never took these things lightly. "Jayden…" She finally spoke. He looked at her. "She doesn't really think that of you. She was just—"

"Upset" He finished. "I know." He sighed. "That's what scares me. People always say 'oh it was said out of anger' as if that makes it meaningless. Truth is things said in anger or hurt are more real than anything else because they come from a raw place."

Sam nodded while she let the words truly sink in. He made a valid point. She couldn't help but think back at things she had said in anger and wondered if she had meant them as well. Part of her had at certain points but once everything was calm she took them back and didn't mean them. So maybe he wasn't right. Or maybe in a calmer state you numb yourself to the truth because inevitably the truth hurts. She shook her head trying to rid her mind of all these thoughts. "So what now? That's it?"

He shrugged.

Sam couldn't believe what she was seeing. "I thought you cared about her?"

Jayden's eyes shifted in her direction. "Is that enough?"

Her brows furrowed. "Isn't it supposed to be?"

"I don't know is it?" He countered.

Sam exhaled. "You're the one that's been telling me this whole time that all that matters are the feelings one has and to not let them go to waste over trivial things!"

"You think this is trivial?" He asked a little offended.

"Will you stop replying to everything with a question? It's irritating." She huffed. "I think you're the one speaking out of hurt now. Because this is not the _you_ I know."

Jayden chuckled cynically. "I could've been wrong about everything. I mean what the hell do I know?" He took a seat on his bed. "You know what I wonder sometimes?"

"What?" She asked in an obligatory way.

"How things might've been if it would've been you and I instead of… well how things turned out." He watched her tense up. "I know you've thought about it, too."

There was a sudden tension in the room. She didn't like talking about this. She nervously chewed on her bottom lip. "I haven't."

"Bullshit." He pressed forward. "I know you have." He kept his eyes on her. Challenging her. To be honest he wasn't sure why he was bringing this up. They never discussed 'what ifs' there was this unspoken understanding that it simply hadn't and that was that. It didn't change the fact that some chemistry existed between them. He knew it, she knew it, hell, even Freddie and Carly knew it. Come to think of it, among the four of them was this interconnected chemistry some bonds stronger than others.

Sam shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Why are you bringing it up now? You know I have this…thing… with Freddie AND you JUST broke up with Carly. I don't want to talk about this."

He smiled but there was sadness to his expression. "I'm just saying that sometimes I wondered and know you have to. I'm trying to make something of it. But let's talk about this 'thing' with Freddie… I mean why has it been so difficult? There's a reason for that. There's a reason why Carly and I didn't work and why you and Freddie have to work so hard to make it work. I told you from the beginning that Carly and I were too different to work—"

"Yet you convinced me and encouraged me saying differences didn't matter!" Sam interrupted. "Now you're suddenly telling me that the reason he and I aren't together is because we don't belong together? That's bullshit. I know how I feel."

He sighed. "No, I'm saying it's harder to work for because it doesn't click. It doesn't make sense. You and I we make sense! I'm stating the obvious. I know how you feel which is why I backed off but I know if I hadn't I know that a part of you felt something too and there was a chance you'd change your mind but I didn't want to be the one to influence that change I wanted you to make that choice on your own because you felt it was what made most sense." Sam kept shaking her head. "And I know you keep shaking your head because you don't want to admit it. I don't get why you're so scared to admit that I'm right. I'm not asking you to change anything. I'm asking you to admit that what all I've said holds truth."

"It doesn't." Sam was reluctant to agree. He had made it clear that he wasn't bringing it up to make a move on her but she still felt uncomfortable she felt it was wrong. She shouldn't be discussing this. Besides by admitting he was right was also admitting that Carly and Freddie belonged together and she couldn't deal with that.

"Then why is it that you're here with me while he's there with her?" Jayden spoke cutting through her fearful thoughts.

Sam's head whipped up in his direction. Eyes glaring with intensity. "Because I'm your FRIEND and I wanted to make sure you were okay! I didn't have to—"

"You chose to." He finished for her in a calm tone. "That's my point." He sighed.

_Soma by the Smashing Pumpkins_

They remained in their positions- Jayden on his bed and Sam on the couch- in complete silence, both mulling over everything. Jayden's words ran through Sam's head, was he right? If she were to be fully honest with herself she did at some point have feelings for him but they were always overpowered by her feelings for Freddie. She wanted Freddie. She loved Freddie. Right? She wondered. Was there a chance that maybe she was so set on the end, the goal, that she had ignored signs? Did she want Freddie because she wanted him or was it because that was the plan? She shook her head no. No. She knew how she felt. Then why was she having this internal monologue? Damn Jayden and his questions for making her think twice. She turned to look at him he stared off blankly into space. Was he thinking about the same thing? He looked so defeated. Perhaps it was his heartbreak talking and not necessarily him.

Time passed and they continued to enjoy each other's company. Comfortable silence was a beautiful, calming thing they could share. The music played in the background adding to their escape. She could admit that she enjoyed these times. She enjoyed spending time with him like this. He was right about one thing and that's that they clicked. It was effortless. She inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled letting the moment set in deep in her bones.

Hours passed occasionally they spoke some more about random things then fell back into silence. They spent the day in his room listening to music, eating, playing video games and just hanging out. The sunlight had disappeared and the moon had risen in its place. Sam yawned. She was now on his bed while Jayden sat in his gamer chair.

"You tired? Want me to take you home?" Jayden asked when he heard her yawn.

"Nah, I'm good." She replied. She did feel tired but part of her didn't want to leave just yet. She looked at her phone, still nothing. No text, no call, nothing. She wondered why Freddie hadn't tried to reach her. Was he still consoling Carly? It had been hours. Then again here she was still hanging out with Jayden. That was different, she told herself. She closed her eyes forcefully pushing these negative thoughts from her mind. Thoughts that were made worse from the earlier conversation. She hated being this way. Hated feeling so insecure. Why couldn't she just be confident about it all? She threw her phone down next to her upset that nothing had come in. Suddenly, she caught the light on her phone turn on and Freddie's name illuminated her screen. This was it. This is what she was waiting for, but what had taken him so goddamn long? She reached for it and stared at it momentarily. There was hesitation partly due to the fact that she had waited all day and had gotten anything. Her thumb hovered in between the 'answer' and 'decline' buttons crossing over each one before moving back. Answer it, she scolded herself but she couldn't do it. She was mad. It didn't matter if it was reasonable. She moved her thumb over and pressed 'decline' and set her phone down before releasing a breath she wasn't even aware she was holding.

Sam shut her eyes. Now she was feeling guilty. Why did she do that? Why couldn't she just be a fucking grown up about things? Or why did she have to press decline? He would notice that it was ignored instead of letting it ring until it went to voicemail on its own. Would he think she's mad? Maybe he didn't notice. Shut up, she told herself.

* * *

><p><strong>Following morning...<strong>

The buzzing from her cell crept into her ears pulling her from sleep. Sam's eyes shot open. Her surroundings were unfamiliar but she didn't have time to wonder before the buzzing regained her attention. She reached over and picked it up. "Hello" her voice was groggy from being half asleep.

"Hey," The voice on the other end sounded put off, "did I wake you?"

Sam rubbed her eyes and noticed Jayden's sleeping form on the couch. Oh, hell did she fall asleep? She heard another hello which snapped her back to the present. She crept out of the bed and room. "Hey, uh yeah I'm here."

"I didn't mean to wake you." It was said as an apology. "I just wanted to talk to you. I called you last night but I guess you were sleeping."

Her mind went back to the previous night when she purposely ignored his call. Guilt struck her and she physically cringed. "Um, yeah. I was tired." She lied.

"Oh…" Was all Freddie offered before continuing, "I wanted to make sure if you were okay or had made it home safely, by the time I came downstairs you were gone." He anxiously waited for her response.

Sam instantly felt like a shithead. "Oh, no I'm fine. Yeah…I figured I'd give you guys some space." She didn't want to give him the impression that she had felt the sting of jealousy. She didn't want to be that person. "So I stopped by to check on Jayden."

"Are you there now?" He didn't mean to sound accusatory but the words just blurted out of his mouth.

Sam was taken aback by the tone and sudden question. The fact that she was there made her feel like she'd done something wrong. The pressure to not upset or disappoint led her to do some that was indeed wrong. She lied. "No." She said incredulously. "I'm home." She heard one of the hall doors opened and she quickly added, "Look I have to go. I'll be over at Carly's later. See you then?"

The abrupt change in tone did not go unnoticed. "Yeah, see you then." Freddie hung up first. Sam quickly crept back into Jayden's room. Freddie sat motionless for a while before exhaling and standing up. He began walking towards his car casting one last look back to Sam's house. He knew she'd lied but what he didn't know was why and that thought did not sit well with him. Not one bit.

* * *

><p><strong>Read and Review?<strong>

**I know this is heavily centered on Jayden/Carly but it's necessary for Seddie. Trust me. Also, its a bit short but that's because I cut it into two part in order to not make you wait any longer. I am working on part two as I type and load this.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26: Changes**

Sam quietly closed the door to Jayden's bedroom and tiptoed towards the bed. "Why are you creeping?" Jayden's voice came out of nowhere and made her jump. Jayden laughed.

"You scared me!" Sam looked around the floor and picked up a shoe to throw at him. Jayden lifted the blankets to protect himself.

"No! Okay! Don't! Sam!" He said through his laughter.

Sam put the shoe down and laughed herself. "Why didn't you wake me?"

He peeked from behind the covers, "I tried. You mumbled to leave you alone." He pulled down the covers once he realized he was safe. "So, I did."

"Oh." She didn't remember any of that. "Well, I need to get home. Give me a lift?"

He nodded. "Sure." After Sam went to sleep he did a lot of thinking regarding what he said the night before and he felt the need to clarify some things. "I want to talk about some things first."

Sam who was putting on her shoes froze midway. Not this again, she thought. "Jayden…" she sighed, "I really don't want to rehash any of that."

"No, No." He waved his hand in the air. "I want to clarify some things."

"You don't—"

"I do." He firmly stated. "I did some thinking last night." He ran his hand through his hair, feeling a little embarrassed about everything he said last night, "And you were right. I was hurt. I am hurt." He paused. "I don't want to give up on Carly. She's the first girl I've ever had any kind of normal, healthy relationship with and I don't want to lose that. And I'm sorry for being so negative about you and Freddie because when I told you to go for it I meant it. That's how I really feel. I was just being a dick last night." He sighed. "And the things I said about you and I and Carly and Freddie well… I shouldn't have."

Sam took in every word.

* * *

><p><strong>Back at Carly's<strong>

Sam walked into the studio and saw Carly sitting on a beanbag her nose buried in her textbook. She knocked on the door frame, "Hey, Carls." She treaded lightly.

Carly looked up and smiled sadly, "Hey." That was all the brunette offered before closing her book and sighing. Sam took this as an invitation to talk and so she walked over to sit on her own bean bag facing her best friend.

"How're you feeling?" She fidgeted with her fingers. Being sympathetic and consoling was not her strong suit.

"Fine… I guess." Carly kept her head down afraid to meet Sam's eyes and expose all the hurt she truly felt. She also wanted to ask her about Jayden. She knew she had gone to him last night but her pride wouldn't let her. She internally battled with herself to not ask, to not care, but was losing that battle. Sam noticed the pained expression on her face. An expression she knew all too well because it was something she constantly fought against.

"He's not much better." Sam spoke answering the unspoken question Carly so badly wanted answered. Her brown eyes finally lifted and met Sam's blue ones. Sam noticed the almost hopeful twinkle in her chocolate eyes. It's not that Carly was happy that Jayden was hurting but it made her feel like he cared and that was enough to stir hope inside her. It was enough to confirm Sam's official belief that it was not over between Carly and Jayden. They just needed to talk. She wish she could tell her what Jayden said that morning but that wasn't her place, so she opted for a sneaky way of encouragement. "I know it's hard to even consider it right now… and I know that your mind is probably running a hundred different scenarios only to return to the ache that washes all those thoughts away…" Her mind suddenly recalled the pain she had endured in the past. "But I know him and he's a good guy. I'm not telling you what to do but I think before making any concrete decision you should talk to him. I'm your best friend. I would never lead you astray." She finished and reached out to stroke Carly's hand.

The brunette's eyes watered. She struggled to speak. Not being able to hold in her sobs anymore she finally broke down. "It just hurts so much." She managed to squeak out. Sam was instantly on her side embracing her in a hug and rubbing her back. "I know. I know."

…

…

…

After calming Carly down and waiting until she was okay Sam decided to pay Freddie a visit. He said he'd be at Carly's but never came by so she opted to visit him instead. This morning she had made the decision to move forward and not tip toe around what she wanted and what she wanted was Freddie. If she learned anything from last night and watching Jayden and Carly, it was that time was precious…as cliché as that sounded it was true. Sam didn't want to waste any more time.

She knocked on his door and before she even exhaled his mom answered. "May I help you, Samantha?" Her tone was less than polite.

Sam gave her a fake sugary sweet smile. "Hello, Mrs. Benson. Is dearest Freddie in?" Each word dripping with sarcasm.

Mrs. Benson 'humphed' and opened the door. "Wait here." She instructed while she went to call on Freddie. Sam waited for about two seconds before following after her. Mrs. Benson was just opening the door to let Freddie know Sam was there when Sam bumped her to the side and made her way in cutting off Mrs. Benson midsentence. She shot a glare at Sam before turning to her son, "Freddie I'm going to work…" She eyed him carefully, "You know the rules." She stated then turned away and walked out.

Sam stood silent with a smirk threatening to turn into a grin as she watched Crazy walk out. She waited until she heard the front door click before turning her attention back to Freddie. Her smirk now a full blown mischievous grin she made her way to Freddie and straddled his lap catching Freddie off guard. There was no exchange of pleasantries. "What rules? Huh?" She spoke against his lips. Freddie swallowed hard and Sam smirked even harder at the effect she was having on him. She ran her lips dangerously close to his he could feel the ghost of her breath and exhaled his own shaky breath he wasn't aware he was holding. Sam breathed in his scent and pressed her lips against his she couldn't help but moan at the contact. The kiss went from a tease to fully heated and she ran her tongue against his bottom lip. Freddie reciprocated and opened his mouth allowing her entrance. Their tongues met in a searing heat jolting Sam's body to life. Freddie dug his fingertips into her hips as she rolled her pelvis into him making both of them groan in unison. Sam deepened the kiss losing all the gentleness and pressing harder into Freddie. However, as much as Freddie was enjoying this moment he couldn't help the nagging voice in the back of his mind telling him things were not okay. Reminding him about the morning's events. There was an internal battle wanting to stop but also being unable to.

"I missed you today." Sam whispered against his ear before taking his lobe with her teeth gently tugging at it. "I waited for you at Carly's and you didn't show." The reminder was enough to bring him out of his haze and he pulled back. "What?" Sam asked at the sudden loss of contact.

His breathing was ragged. "Wait, wait." He whispered. He held on harder to Sam's hips that kept rolling on their own accord. She was still in the moment and didn't want to stop. "Sam…" He spoke gently, "Stop… stop…" Sam pulled back and eyed him confused.

"What's wrong?" She asked worried. Her breathing uneven.

"Nothing is wrong. I just… we need to stop." He kept his tone gentle, aware of Sam's sensitive nature when it came to things like this.

"Why?" She questioned and Freddie could tell she was already taking this as a sign of rejection.

He rubbed his hands up and down her back trying to coax her back from whatever ledge she was nearing in her mind. "Well… you come in here and I don't even get a 'hello' and things were getting pretty heated." He explained. It wasn't a total lie but his reasoning did go a little deeper and to be honest he was upset about her lying.

Sam sighed and stood up backing away. "You say that like it's a bad thing." She moved backwards and sat on the edge of the bed her knees felt shaky. Her body not fully over their exchange. "I thought this is what _you_ wanted." Her tone was getting defensive.

Freddie was flabbergasted. What _he_ wanted? When had he said he wanted this? "What?" He shook his head, "When did I ever say that?"

The question struck Sam hard. "Oh, so you don't?" She questioned insulted.

Freddie shook his head, "No." Sam's eyes went wide. "I mean yes!" He tried to correct. He exhaled and stood up. "I do." He sat next to her. "But that's not _all_ I want." He lowered his face to try and look into Sam's eyes who hung her head low. "You already know this." His gentle tone was back. Sam lifted her head and met his eyes.

"I guess." It was all she offered not even trying to hide the fact that she was annoyed.

Freddie rolled his eyes. He was a patient guy but Sam just had this way about her that pushed him to the edge. He didn't think she had any reason to be upset. If anything he was the one that should be upset… and dammit he was upset. He wanted answers. "Don't be mad. We agreed to take things slow. This is the opposite of slow." He pointed out.

Sam grumbled. This was the opposite of what she had planned. "Well maybe I don't want to take it slow anymore!" She snapped and was now standing by Freddie's desk trying to put distance between them.

He chuckled in disbelief. "Have you even considered that maybe _I_ _want_ to take things slow? That it's not just about _you_?" Sam glared at him but her expression soon faltered with the impact of his words. "And I don't mean to be harsh but I mean Sam you come in here doing whatever you'd like without even considering my feelings. What happened that made you act this way anyway? What changed?" His firm tone surprised him and from the look of her face it surprised her too.

Sam's mouth opened and closed. Nothing came out. She really didn't know what to say. She felt like such a selfish asshole. This was not how things were supposed to go. This isn't what she had in mind.

Freddie's thoughts went back to the issue at hand. Why had she lied? Was she hiding something? Her behavior suddenly seemed strange to him. She usually wasn't this forward when it came to physical acts… well she could be but as of late they kept things PG. His mind started swimming with negative thoughts. Was she trying to prove something? Make up for something? He had a suspecting feeling that she took off yesterday out of jealousy. Had something happened? He tried to shake the worst scenarios because he felt himself becoming angry.

He looked up at Sam who just stood there dumbfounded. "Why did you leave yesterday?"

Sam raised her eyes and met his she saw his usual warm chocolate eyes turn dark. "I told you."

"No, you told me where you went not why." He specified.

Sam furrowed her brow. "What's the difference?" She was deflecting. Fear rose in her, she didn't like showing her vulnerabilities. Why did he want to know? So he can chastise her about it? Was she jealous? Yes she had been but she didn't want to be. She wanted to push it away so she separated herself from the situation. It was a better to deal than lashing out was it not?

"Come on, Sam!" He ran a hand across his face. "Why did you leave abruptly?"

"I told you! To go see how Jayden was doing! I didn't want to just sit there waiting like an idiot!" The last part wasn't supposed to come out. "I mean… I knew it would be a while so… you know…" She tried to backtrack.

Freddie's eyes softened at the involuntary revelation. "Sam…" He began.

"No!" Sam interrupted. "Stop!" She held her hand up making Freddie freeze in his tracks. "I know what you're going to say and I know… okay?" She shut her eyes god why was she so emotionally handicapped? "That's why I left. I was trying to just push those stupid feelings away and focus on something else." She groaned. "I don't want to be like this! I don't like it! I don't like feeling jealous… I fucking hate it if anything. I know it can be annoying and trust me I am trying…" She exhaled.

Freddie didn't know what to say or do. He was used to outbursts but none like these. These were rare. "I get it." He stammered. He decided to take the calm, understanding route.

"Really?" Her voice sounded childlike.

"Yeah." Freddie smiled for the first time since their conversation began. "But…" He added and Sam inwardly cringed. "I need to know something."

"What?" She sat on his desk chair and tapped her fingers against her thighs. Nervous habits.

"This morning when I called you…" He hadn't even finished his sentence when he noticed Sam tense up. "You lied to me." He finally stated. "Why?"

She bit her lip. How did he know? "What?" She was perplexed.

"This morning when I called you, you lied to me." He explained. "Now, I've been mulling this over all day and I don't know, Sam." He eyed her, waiting for an explanation. "Then you come in here acting weird and well I need to know."

Sam's eyes lifted at the sound of 'weird,' "Wait, how am I acting weird?"

Freddie tried not to roll his eyes. Leave it to Sam to latch on to the least important detail of what he said. "Come on. Don't deflect."

Sam scoffed. "I'm not deflecting, I am honestly asking." She furrowed her brows as Freddie pinched the bridge of his nose trying not to lose his patience.

He sighed loudly and dropped onto his bed. He slapped his thigh and shook his head. Sam watched him. She knew she should just answer but it was getting too intense and all she really wanted to do was leave. She kept her eyes on him, feeling guiltier by the second. The silence between them was palpable and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. She glanced at the door then back to him. He still had his head down. Sam stood up straight from the desk she took two side steps towards the door.

"Do you trust me?" The words came so suddenly they froze her in place.

She slowly turned towards him and his eyes were dead set on her. His face looked worn and his eyes did not carry their usual shine. It suddenly occurred to her that this was on her. The exhaustion was her fault. She had done this to him. She was doing this to him. A sting ran through her body settling in her heart and she almost had to force herself not to physically cringe.

"Yeah." She barely managed to speak her voice cracking at the end. Did she really trust him? They had been friends for years and eventually best friends. What were they now? And did it change their history? Then why had she lied she wondered to herself? Why did she continuously hide things from him? Her mind ran a hundred miles an hour. "I don't know." She spoke again. Her tone was unsure, shaky as if she was figuring things out, realizing things as they came out.

Freddie nodded. He figured as much. He had a deep understanding of how complex Sam could be. He was aware that nothing would be easy, especially, her trust. Things were different whether they liked to pretend that things remained the same or comfortable because they were friends first but nothing was ever simple when it came to them. All it did was make the transition that much more difficult. It was like starting from the beginning except not. More silence ensued.

"Do you?" Sam broke the suffocating silence.

Freddie lifted his eyes to meet hers. "I'm trying," was all he offered. It was Sam's turn to nod. She walked over and sat next to him on the bed.

"Me too." They turned to look at each other. She stared into his eyes trying to read all this thoughts and transfer all of hers. "I'm sorry." Freddie didn't say anything just continued to look at her. "I'm sorry for lying. I just didn't know how you would take it so I didn't want to make things weird. And I'm sorry for this. For this argument, for yelling at you, for everything. I… I do want to be with you, Freddie." She reached out for his hand and Freddie could feel her fingers trembling. Sam inhaled softly but deep, "I do love you."

The corner of his mouth lifted into a half smile. "I know." He replied wrapping his fingers around her hand tightly and pulling her into him. Sam allowed herself to fall into him and inhaled again but this time she breathed him in. Freddie rested his face against hers, "I love you, too." He whispered into her ear and encircled his free arm around her.

Sam didn't think she would ever get used to the feelings those three little words stirred inside of her. They made her heart swell and head dizzy. And that moment she swore, she promised herself to stop hiding. To let herself… fall.

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><p><strong>AN: Yeah, so here's this chapter... Sam is finally gonna allow herself to love Freddie and let him love her!  
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**Read and Review!  
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**Also, thank you soooo much for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. I know I haven't updated as frequently so if you're still with me just know that I truly appreciate it! I won't even try to give you excuses... truth is life gets in the way sometimes.**


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